This Won't Change a Thing
by musicloverx
Summary: When Haley convinces Nathan to play pretend boyfriend at her overbearing sister's wedding abroad he obliges, that's what friends are for right? Wrong. They've been best friends since elementary school and survived high school, college and endless drunken nights without so much as a peck on the lips but is all that about to change?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so I am back with another story I have been working on this while I was finishing up my last story but didn't want to post it until that one was complete.**

**This chapter is more of an introduction to the story plot and I also wanted to give you some context to the story: in this story Lucas, Nathan, Peyton and Haley grew up in Tree Hill and went to school together there. After that Lucas, Nathan and Haley went to college (met Brooke here) in New York and are now beginning their adult lives there. **

**Unlike the tv show, Nathan and Haley in this fic grew up as best friends throughout school and I'm going down the route that Nathan is Karen's son and Lucas was the one who grew up with Dan just to change it up. (like the episode of One Tree Hill where Nathan has the dream him and Lucas switch lives, that's the friendship he and Haley have in this fic). **

**Ok, I won't ramble on too much, the rest will be made clear as the story goes on. Enjoy and here is Chapter 1. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with One Tree Hill. **

**Chapter 1 **

'Come on Natey…pretty please.' Haley said joining her hands using her puppy dog face which almost always guaranteed she'd get her way at least when it was concerning matters with her best friend.

Nathan just rolled his eyes from the couch across from her. That look wasn't working on him today. No way. _Not a chance._

It _wasn't_ going to work.

'Don't give me that look and you know I hate it when you call me that Hales.' Nathan huffed out as he stood up and started pacing across the living room of the apartment.

'Thank you.' Haley squealed then as she watched him scratch the back of his neck while he continued pacing.

Nathan abruptly stopped then looking at her like she was crazy which really shouldn't surprise him because he knew full well, more than anyone that she was in fact crazy!

'Thank you?' He got out squinting at her confused as though he'd actually mislaid to her that he was actually going to go through with this.

'Yea.' Haley quipped confidently. 'You're pacing and you're scratching the back of your neck and when you do that you're thinking hard and if it was an outright no you wouldn't have to think about it.' Haley rambled out brazenly.

'You're crazy.' Nathan spat out then. 'Like you've actually gone mad Hales.'

'No, I will go crazy if I have to go through this alone, come on you so owe me for all them dates I've saved your ass on.'

'What?' Nathan said shaking his head. 'Dates Hales…they're dates which you only have to save my ass for like 5 minutes…you're asking me to come and spend two weeks saving yours…'

'It'll be like a holiday.' Haley mused trying to inject some humour into the situation. Truth be told she was actually full of dread about the whole thing and she wasn't even sure if asking Nathan along with her was the right idea but it was the only way really she thought that she could pull this off, it was the only believable one.

He was pacing again. Haley smirked, that was a good sign.

'Come on, remember when we were 8 and we made that deal that you'd be my pretend husband….'

Nathan scoffed. 'Yea if you weren't married by 25 Hales which by the way you've just turned 23 and we were 8!'

He noticed her twiddling with her fingers then a little apprehensively and he sighed as he sat down facing her again. Nathan knew Haley better than anyone and he knew she wouldn't have asked or she wouldn't cover up like this to her family unless she really _had_ to.

He also knew Lydia James and her daughter Taylor; a force to be reckoned with. Lydia was always pushing Haley, nothing was ever good enough, whether it be school or her personal life, in Lydia's eyes Haley was a failure if she didn't have a degree, a job, a partner; basically, she placed all happiness and success on external things which ironically were the exact things Haley didn't place her happiness on.

His best friend, she found joy in the littlest of things; morning walks, coffee runs, outdoor cinema, mini golf, creating ridiculous cocktails….it was the very thing he had always adored about her, her ability to keep her childlike vision of the world; her happy heart.

Being around her family, it seemed to quash that completely.

It's not like they were horrible people, they were nice at times but Lydia's love for her daughter was misplaced, it always came down to how it reflected back on their family, it was all about pride. Jimmy James was a very different man altogether, much more like Haley but his influence never seemed to reach them under the throes of their mother and so his vision was quashed and Haley lived under the scrutinising vision of her mother and her pretentious sister.

Taylor. Just her name made Nathan roll his eyes, she was Haley's oldest sister and the queen of the family. She didn't treat people well and it didn't seem to bother her. Lydia seemed to worship her and Nathan knew that was only because she was marrying a well to do lawyer. How petty.

'You know what you're right, this isn't even fair to you…it's too much, I don't know what I was thinking…hell I wasn't even thinking because I can't even think straight these days…this is just all so last minute, I thought I had more time…I mean I don't have a teaching job yet so maybe mum will be so focused on how much of a failure I am there she won't even notice there's not a guy and I'm trying not to care but after the way she rattled me for showing up to Aunt Bessie's second wedding, might I add, as single as ever I just don't think I can handle it again and….'

'Hales…' Nathan interrupted her incessant rambling with a smile on his face.

'God you'd think I'd get used to it.' Haley huffed off before she felt Nathan grabbing onto her hands.

'Hales..' Nathan said again as he got up from his position on the couch and moved over sitting beside her, he gently took her hands which were pulling through her blonde locks and brought them to his lap breaking her from her rambling. 'You done?' He chuckled as Haley almost choked on her words with the speed she was going.

Haley smiled sheepishly huffing out a breath. 'Yea..sorry.'

'Ok, let's just talk this through.' Nathan said calmly then. 'I get it ok. Haley I know your family better than anyone, I can see why you asked me..'

'I can sense a big but coming…' Haley mumbled as she pulled her hands away from his and turned to face him sitting with her legs criss-crossed on the couch.

Nathan smiled knowingly. 'But we're talking almost two weeks here, not a weekend..two whole weeks and they know us Haley, how many times have we argued against them that we were ever going to be a couple? They'll see right through it!'

'This is my mum Nathan; how many times has she badgered us on this? If she thinks for one second it happened she'll accept it, she won't even look for a reason not to.'

'Maybe..' Nathan hesitated. 'I'm just….I'm worried about you Haley; I know you and you're going to find it really hard to lie about this and what happens after when it's all said and done..'

'So, what we just use what all best friends who hooked up do…we say it didn't work out and we work better as friends?' Haley shrugged. 'Nathan, it's only a little white lie, just for this wedding…its easier this than have mum on my back over everything, I just don't want to deal with it all especially since its Taylor's wedding, that only makes everything worse.'

'Well this looks deep.' Brooke commented brazenly as she floated into the living room and plonked herself down on light grey couch adjacent to Nathan and Haley. 'Oh, you told him.' She squealed.

'She knows…' Nathan let out towards Haley wondering when Brooke had even come into their apartment.

'She has a name Nathan…and yes I know seen as I sort of gave your Haley the idea.'

'Brooke was just helping me decide what to do.' Haley reasoned.

'Ok I sort of gave Haley the idea because we thought why not make a holiday out of this? You two go out for the wedding, complete your acting roles to perfection and me and Lucas were thinking of heading out and joining ye for the last five days…the 4 of us could have a hol, god knows we deserve one after the last 6 months.'

They had all finished college in the last 6 months and were just settling into their adult lives in New York. Both Nathan and Lucas had secured employment in their line of work, Nathan was working in finance while Lucas was working as an editor. Brooke was undertaking a fashion internship. Haley meanwhile was struggling to get a suitable teaching contract, she knew she was being a little particular and was holding out for the right job.

'You know what that's actually not a bad idea.' Nathan said coming around to the idea.

'Yea Brooke and we will need a holiday after dealing with my family for a week.' Haley reasoned then. She was joking about it but Nathan could tell she was filled with dread about it all and his decision was made up there and then. Even if he didn't go he would spend the entire week worrying about his best friend anyway so he was better off being there.

'Ok count me in.'

'Really?' Brooke and Haley both squealed.

'Yea.' Nathan said. 'Why not? We may as well make the best of this messed up situation.'

'Come on, it will be so easy for you guys…you practically act like a married couple anyway.' Brooke goaded.

Haley and Nathan just rolled their eyes. They were used to this from Brooke, she hadn't grown up with them to understand just how platonic things were between them even when they were playing around with each other. There was nothing more to it.

'What about Jake?' Nathan questioned then.

'Jake and I aren't even official so hardly time to introduce him to my crazy family and he said if it was any other guy but you this wouldn't be happening.' Haley mused.

Nathan smiled. That sounded like Jake alright. They had been friends since high school and they recently only met up with him again when he moved to New York after going to Boston for college. He was working alongside Nathan now in his company.

'So, did you and Jake ever date in high school?' Brooke said then.

'Nah he was with Peyton then; it was pretty intense but then Peyton and Lucas..'

'Yea I heard about that.' Brooke smirked. 'So much dirt in Tree Hill I still can't believe you two never..'

'Ew no..not again Brooke.' Haley teased as she draped her arm across Nathan's shoulder. 'He's my Royal aren't you?' She mused.

Nathan shrugged her off. 'I told you to never call me that.'

Brooke just raised her eyes at the pair. 'Yea you might want to cool down the eww reaction next week and brush up on your acting skills.'

Nathan just ran his hands over his face. What had they gotten themselves in for?

**XXXXX**

'Ok so are we saying graduation night or the night we won the championship?' Nathan questioned then. The plane had literally just taken off and Haley had begun her intense planning into how they were actually going to pull this off.

Not that he was surprised, this was Haley after all and he was half expecting her to whip out a mind map of how this ruse between them was going to play out in reality. Nathan smiled at the thought,

'Wat are you smirking at? I know that smirk and that's the you're taking the piss out of me in your head smirk.' Haley goaded as she rummaged through her rucksack on her lap. 'Dammit I forgot my paper and pen.'

'You're writing this down?' Nathan said flabbergasted.

'You sound surprised.' Haley quipped back. 'Ugh phone notes will have to do.' she mumbled to herself as she whipped out her iPhone and started tapping away.

'Hales…' Nathan chuckled. 'What are you doing?'

'You won't be laughing when you're blindsided by questions and you can't remember the story.'

Nathan sighed at her; Haley was a planaholic at the best of times but the way she was behaving now coupled with the anxiety bubbling within her over what was to come he was pretty sure she'd break into pieces before they even got there.

'Hales…hey…look at me.' Nathan said seriously then as all his jokiness abated.

Haley dropped her phone back into her bag defeatedly as she turned to face him letting out a soft sigh.

'You're going to fall apart before we even get there, come on don't let them do that to you, you're better than that.' He reasoned softly.

Haley closed her eyes momentarily trying to calm herself before she opened them again smiling back at her best friend. He always knew how to make her feel better. He was so in tune with her that it actually scared her sometimes because she couldn't pretend with him, she couldn't say that this wasn't getting to her because he would see right through it. He always did. 'I'm going crazy aren't I?' Haley joked flatly.

Nathan just smiled at her. 'We both know you're crazy Hales but this is next level.' He teased. 'How about we just go with the flow on the story about how we got together, I mean we can read each other pretty well I'm sure that will be pretty natural..'

'Are you sure? Won't they notice we don't know what we're talking about?' Haley all but panicked.

'Nah they won't trust me; I'll take the lead if you're worried alright?'

Haley nodded then as she dropped her bag down by her feet and rested her head on his shoulder. 'Thank you.' She whispered softly.

'Now get some rest ok, I've already had enough of you and we've got another hours flight and two whole weeks to go.' Nathan goaded.

'You're mean.' Haley pouted.

'But I'm your only friend.' Nathan mused.

Haley rolled her eyes; she heard this comeback all the time. She didn't even bother responding.

'You know I'm right.' Nathan said then as he rested his head back and closed his eyes too.

'Just go to sleep Nathan.' Haley smiled with her eyes closed as she heard him chuckle beside her.

Haley didn't know when she last felt this nervous, even giving her valedictorian speech, her first day of college, interviewing for jobs…nothing came close to the nerves she was feeling now as they turned off the road for the Julian's Estate house and gardens where Taylor was having her wedding. They would all be spending ten days booked in here. It was one of the most stunning and renowned spots in Italy and notoriously popular for weddings. Haley wondered how Taylor had got in here seen as this engagement and wedding had all happened in the space of 3 months but she figured her soon to be husband had a certain part to play in that.

She needed to distract herself from the nauseating sensation of the moths that were currently swarming around her tummy.

'Ok we need to clear the air on some things.' Haley said then as she glanced across at Nathan who appeared annoyingly relaxed about all this.

'Absolutely no kissing whatsoever on the lips…'

'Absolutely not..' Nathan said not overly keen on the idea of kissing his best friend anyway. 'But we do need to make it believable..'

'Yea so forehead, cheek if you have to but I might jump away..'

'Hales you can't jump away that's going to make it obvious.' Nathan scoffed.

'Oh, you know what I mean …' Haley reasoned. 'Just don't pounce on it on me, give me a warning.'

Nathan just shook his head at her, she was so silly. 'Holding hands…'

Haley nodded. 'Touchy feely but not overly touchy or else it will just get weird.'

Nathan chuckled. 'Like this isn't already weird.'

'This is Taylor's big day so really she'll want all the attention on her, I think once we get over the initial 'oh look we're dating' now it should be ok…'

'Right..' Nathan agreed wondering who she was trying to convince more, herself or him.

'Anyways my family know I'm not big on PDA so I can really hone in on that…and'

'Haley..' Nathan interrupted her then as their taxi pulled up outside of the beautiful estate. 'Relax, ok. It'll be fine, me and you taking on Taylor and your mum it's nothing we haven't done before right?'

Haley smiled back at him then. 'I really needed to hear that.' She gave his hand a squeeze then. 'Ready to do this?'

Honestly, Nathan was usually the calm and collected one of the two but even he was feeling apprehensive about this but he had to brush away that voice in the back of his head that was shouting at him that really what they were about to do was going to change things for them forever. But he couldn't try and figure out the reasoning beyond those doubts now because Haley, his best friend, she needed him and he would never let her down. They would get through this and hopefully come on relatively unscathed from it all.

'Let's go.' Nathan said then as they hopped out of the cab and thanked the driver for getting their suitcases from the boot.

'My baby…'

'Hi daddy.' Haley smiled as she wrapped herself in the arms of her father and allowed the serenity she always felt when it was the two of them wash over her for she knew in a mere matter of seconds it would be gone and lost amongst the noise of the events to follow.

'Mr. James.' Nathan came up smirking as he shook his hand.

'Ah how many times do I have to tell you boy none of that Mr. James crap with me especially if you are going to be my future son in law.' He teased slapping Nathan across the shoulder.

Nathan looked towards Haley a little taken aback and her face practically mirrored his.

'Well don't look so surprised you two, Quinn practically shouted it to everyone when she heard you were taking Nate as your date.'

'Of course, she did.' Haley muttered.

'I'm glad it's you son.' Jimmy said happily then and Haley saw the sparkle in his eyes and there it was; the first stab at her heart.

Nathan swallowed thickly as he too felt that very same stab to his chest and this was just the beginning. 'Thank you.' He said directly as he caught Haley's eye and she quickly looked away from him. He could tell she was a little rattled already.

'Well come on in, you don't want to keep the queens themselves waiting.'

'Is that my youngest, baby girl I hear?' Lydia shouted from the lounge area that was adjacent to the reception.

Haley grimaced when she noticed a lot of her family members seated around smaller tables and chairs in the lounge area, some had suitcases adjacent to them, it seems everyone had just or were about to arrive.

She felt Nathan encase her hand in his then and tried not fixate on how odd it felt, as close as they were they had never really held hands, it was something so simple that felt way too intimate but really this was only the start and she needed to push those disconcerting thoughts aside. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze then. 'It's going to be ok.' He whispered to her just as her mother bounded over to them.

'OH, my baby girl, you are looking beautiful.' Lydia said as she enveloped Haley in a hug admiring her emerald green swing dress and beautiful blonde waves before pulling back and smiling at Nathan. 'Come here to me, do you know how long I've been waiting for this?' Nathan just laughed awkwardly, a sound that was probably believable to anyone else's ears but Haley knew better. She pulled back then marvelling at the two of them. 'Well it's about time you both came to your senses.'

'Mom can we not do this..'

'Oh, honey you can't rock up here with the boy you've secretly denied loving for years and then downplay it off, come over here to the family…' She pulled Haley along with her then as Nathan followed after them.

They spent the next few minutes greeting some of Haley's aunts, uncles, cousins, some Nathan knew from before, some he had never met. They now found themselves sitting side by side directly across from Lydia's seat of interrogation much to Haley's dismay.

'Baby James you get more stunning by the day.'

Nathan smiled as he noticed the second genuine smile grace Haley's face that day, the first having been reserved for her father.

'Brenda, oh my god I'm so glad you're here.' Haley hopped out of the seat giving her a hug

'What and miss this wedding, how could we?' The lady mused sarcastically to which Haley giggled. Nathan just smirked at the two, he too had known Brenda for years. She was Haley's minder and for all the days he had spent at Haley's house when he was younger she was practically his too.

Haley dropped back down on the sofa then as Nathan stood up giving Brenda a big auld hug too. 'You are looking mighty fine.' She goaded as Haley admonished her.

'What, I'm not the only one who thinks it. All those years you spent denying it and now you two are together.' Brenda teased as she sat up on the armchair of their sofa.

Haley tried her utmost best not to grimace but god the reaction she was getting out of her family was causing her to stiffen up beside Nathan and she was positive he could feel it and she hoped no one else could notice.

'So, have you two slept together or what?' The malicious bride to be goaded as she plopped down onto the couch beside her mother. She was every inch the bride to be too in her tight strapless white mini dress, white heels and white nails. Nathan couldn't help but think how ironic it was, that colour on Taylor, she was anything but. He held back his scoff though because sure enough that would generate a bad reaction.

'Taylor..' Haley warned crossing her eyes at her.

'What it's usually how it happens, friends with benefits….I always knew you wanted to pop my sister's'

'Taylor enough.' Lydia scolded.

'We haven't.' Nathan simply answered crossing his eyes at Taylor refusing to give her anymore.

'And it's a damn shame if you ask me.' Brenda commented which seemed to lighten the atmosphere around them as Lydia, Quinn and Haley's aunt started chuckling.

'So how did it happen then?' Taylor interrogated refusing to give up. 'Seen as Nate here is the king of getting girls into his bed and well Haley is the opposite..'

'Taylor enough..' Haley started actually feeling her temper flare now. Even when they were growing up Taylor was always throwing digs at Nathan , Haley figured it was because he never got with her and it pissed her off.

'I am kind of curious how did you two cross the line..' Quinn pipped in then.

'There's not a lot to tell, it kind of just gradually happened in the last year..' Nathan started only to be interrupted by Lydia scoffing.

'Oh Nathan honey it happened long before the last year, I'm sorry I saw the way you were looking at my daughter on prom night' Nathan felt Haley stiffen beside him again if that was even possible and he groaned inwardly, this was _killing_ him. Why was Lydia bringing things like that up? He had expected their joy over this relationship, hell he even expected their jokes but what he hadn't expected was them to go rehashing different moments in the past which was only going to make himself and Haley begin to look at them in a different light and that was definitely going to do more damage than good

'And don't think I didn't see you sneaking out the window that next morning.' Lydia teased.

'Mom…' Haley began again actually feeling the nausea rise in her tummy, she didn't think she could take anymore of this.

'Ok enough teasing little sis, what time is this white party kicking off at?' Quinn said winking over at her sister as Haley shot her a thankful look. Her stance relaxed a bit then as she tucked in closer to Nathan, she could tell from his stance he was as rattled by all of this as she was now and it was only day 1, wait not even day 1 it was hour 1.

**XXXXX**

'Oh god, oh god…' Haley mumbled to herself as she dropped her bags down and belly flopped on the king size bed.

'Would it look obvious to ask for separate rooms?' Nathan joked as he dropped his suitcase down by his side.

'Oh come on you've shared a bed with me before.' Haley mumbled from where her face was planted in the cushion.

'It wasn't that bad.' Nathan tried to interject.

'If one more person tells me that I was denying my love for you one more time I'm going to slit their throat.'

Nathan just chuckled at that. 'Come on, I know you love me Hales.' He gloated.

'Real funny.' Haley said as she lifted up to her elbows and crossed her eyes at him.

'I think we are over the worst of it.'

'Oh no they haven't even started drinking yet god knows what stories of our childhood mum is going to conjure up then.'

'Hey, the most important thing is we know the truth about our past and about right now, we're in this together.'

'How can you be so calm about this?' Haley said softly then.

'Honestly Hales I was bricking it a bit back there.' Nathan joked to which she smiled. 'But we're Nathan and Haley remember, we've survived crazy ex's, a flat tyre on prom night, vodka style beer pong, our college finals,….we've got through everything together, we can survive one fake relationship right? And we've came up against your family loads of times so we've already got armour there..'

Haley chuckled feeling her heart swell at his words. 'You make it sound like we are going into battle.'

'Oh we're going into war.'

Haley laughed at that as she pulled herself off the bed and went over to the mini fridge. 'Well then I guess we're going to need to liquor up.'

'That's my girl.' Nathan smirked as she tossed a little bottle of gin his way.

'And did you …did you see her face…she was all like how did it happen? I swear it kills her you never hooked up with her.' Haley shook her head as she tossed the remnants of her drink down. The two of them were sitting on the carpet with their backs against the bed sharing two mini bottles of gin between them feeling slightly buzzed.

Nathan grimaced at that insinuation as he too knocked back the gin.

'It's so Taylor.' Haley said with an eye roll as she went to grab Nathan's gin bottle.

'Oh no, no you don't…you need to stay semi-coherent.'

'Eh I can handle another one thank you very much.' Haley argued back.

'Haley no you can't and I'm afraid of what you might say if you have another one and go out there.'

'You think you know my drinking limits but you don't' Haley said as she gave him a playful shove.

Nathan just smirked. 'Ok let's play a little game of am I right or am I wrong?'

'I don't like this game.'

'The night of Lucas birthday when you promised me you would make it out but I had to put you to bed am I ..'

'Hey that's cause Brooke made that special cocktail.'

'Ok well what about the night you jumped that pole on the street thinking you were a..'

'Ok ok…you're right I can't handle my drink do we really need to rehash some of my worst moments.' Haley groaned at him.

'They were some of my best.' Nathan chuckled.

'Real funny Natey how about we talk about the night you came to my dorm room instead of Becky's and you…'

'Alright fine, please don't go there.' Nathan said grimacing at that memory. 'God I hated that girl.'

'Natey, Natey…' Haley laughed.

'Shut up Hales.' Nathan said but he couldn't help but laugh along with her.

Nathan didn't date, aside from one short romance he had in high school, since his senior year when things got rocky for him he never let anyone get close to him. His college years were spent seeing girls on and off but always letting them know he never wanted anything serious. Becky was one of them girls that he had to cut within two weeks, the nicknames and the neediness was all too much.

'Look we better get down there.' Nathan said then as he gulped down the rest of his gin.

'Yea, we're in this together right?' Haley said feeling the effects of the drink on her now which was helping to dampen the anxiety quelling within her. She gave Nathan a little fist pump then and he fist pumped her back and they both stood up.

'Woah..' Nathan chucked as he steadied Haley.

'I'm fine, we were just sitting on that floor for a really long time!' Haley smiled as she eyed him up and down. Nathan was wearing a three-quarter length crisp white shirt with more casual style white shorts; his hair was styled purposefully messy.

'You checking your boyfriend out?' Nathan teased and Haley just pushed him.

'Shut up.' She said. 'I practically dressed you so I'm admiring my handy work.'

Nathan smiled back at her as his eyed her up and down too, Haley was in a little white strapless dress which hugged her body, he knew himself it was out of his friend's comfort zone and he didn't know why, he wished she had more confidence in herself. She was gorgeous, Nathan had always known that.

'You look hot Hales.'

Haley just rolled her eyes at him before turning around and walking towards the door, that was the usual compliment she got from him and she by the look on his face now that he knew it winded her up.

**XXXXX**

Haley tried her best to relax as Nathan rested his arm across her pulling her back against him, they were standing at one of the high tables alongside Haley's parents. The tent where the white party was held was facing out towards the stunning Lake Garda, it was truly a beautiful place and Haley couldn't help but feel like its beauty in a way was wasted on Taylor who really had only decided to have her nuptials here for the name of the place as opposed to anything else.

'You know I was thinking when our Haley told me that you two were going living together that something had happened?'

Once again Nathan felt Haley stiffen up beside him and he sighed inwardly. Although really he should have counted himself luckily, they had successfully dodged any further interrogation for most of the night as they got to know Taylor's husband and some of his family, thankfully they were people that didn't know Nathan and Haley's back story so they could relax a little more around them.

'Mom friends can live together you know, me and Nathan planned that before anything happened.'

Nathan took a sip of her beer letting Haley take the lead on this one.

'Sure, honey but you know it's usually in situations like that where one thing does lead to another, that's how your uncle Tim eventually married Beth, they were friends for years, moved in…had sex on the kitchen counter one day…'

Nathan started choking a little on his beer at her words breaking the two ladies from the conversation.

Haley rubbed his back softly. 'You ok?'

'Yea.' Nathan said as he calmed himself down. 'Mental image.' He grimaced as Lydia smirked unabashedly. 'My apologies but those two were the best of friends and now they're so in love.'

'I'm just going to get another beer, you need anything?' Nathan tried to get out in his normal voice. He could tell from the way Haley was looking at him that she knew something was up and he hated that she could read him so well.

'I'm ok, thanks.' Haley gave him the look and he knew that look meant come find me so we can talk later.

'You two are adorable.' Lydia gushed as Jimmy just rolled his eyes.

'So, you keep saying.' Haley mumbled to herself as she glanced after Nathan.

Nathan got up to the bar immediately ordering himself something stronger than a beer. He ran his hands over his eyes and down the bridge of his nose trying to knock some sense into himself as he waited.

Where in the hell had that image come out of? As soon as Lydia had mentioned the sex and the kitchen counter he had pictured him and Haley in their apartment, _what the actual fuck?_ Between her talking about that couple who were best friends and moved in together and then the sex his mind just seemed to go there, this had to be some kind of sick joke because he never thought of Haley in a sexual way before. Sure, he thought she was hot and maybe as a horny teenager he admitted to her he'd had a few dreams but that was years and years ago.

He was surprised he didn't choke himself to death when that mental image came into his head.

Clearly their words were messing with him and getting to him more than he realised? He couldn't let this happen. Or maybe he was just being a typical guy and of course his mind went there.

That's all it was, he was being ridiculous.

He knew where he stood with Haley. She knew where she stood. They were strong enough for this.

'Honestly I thought it was going to take another few years before you saw sense.' Quinn teased as she popped up beside Nathan ordering herself a cocktail.

'Hey Quinn.' Nathan smiled genuinely, she was one of Haley's family members that he had always gotten on with and in a way he had to be even more careful because it felt like it would be easier to divulge to Quinn that this was all a ruse. And he also felt like Quinn may possibly see through their white lie more so than anyone else.

'I'm happy for you Nate and for my sis, you know when you two didn't hook up senor year and then in college I was beginning to think you were both right all along.'

Nathan just nodded his head; this was the second stab to his chest today. Lying to Quinn.

'Are you ok?' She glanced at him curiously.

_Dammit._ She was already seeing through the cracks. 'I'm just worried about Haley.' Nathan admitted. He knew this would work because it wasn't a lie, he was worried about her.

He glanced behind him then noticing Haley chatting still with her parents and two other people he didn't recognise. She had that tight, strained smile on her face and it made him sad.

Quinn smiled at him as she followed his line of sight, it always tugged her heart how deeply Nathan cared about Haley, it was something rare in a person, in fact what they shared was something you didn't often come across between two people. 'She'll be ok , she always is when she has you by her side.' Quinn admitted as she patted Nathan's shoulder before walking back over towards the table Haley was at.

It was all getting to him then. Quinn's words coupled with the intrusive thoughts he was having earlier were messing with his head.

Haley needed him and he needed her. It's always how it had been, they faced the world together and they always came out on top.

She was his best friend; she was his everything. What were they thinking? Were they about to jeopardise that? Nothing had happened and Nathan knew himself that there was no way he could possibly develop feelings for her because if he was to he knew it would have happened by now yet at the same time the twinges of regret were beginning to rise within him, the trepidation over their white lie was beginning to taunt him and he couldn't rationalise why but he had this awful, shaky feeling that this wasn't going to end well for them.

Glancing behind him again Nathan noticed Haley was gone and he sighed. He needed to talk to her about this now.

'Hey, can I grab you for a minute?' Her voice rang through his ears then and Nathan turned towards her and let out a sigh of relief. 'I was just coming for you.' He looked at her oddly then when he noticed her lip trembling. 'What happened?'

Haley grabbed him by the hand leading him out of the tent back towards the estate house. She rounded one of the corners to the side of the house leading them into a little pretty alcove that was empty.

'Haley…'

'Nathan…I feel like this is all going to be my fault and we're going to fall out over this or even worse' Haley choked back a sob then as the days event began to weigh heavily on her.

'Hey….' Nathan said coming to comfort her as he rested his hands on her shoulder. 'Where is this coming from Hales?'

It was odd how in tune they were with each other, it seemed like similar doubts were plaguing her mind.

'You just bolted Nathan and you were acting weird and you didn't come back..' She began to ramble.

Nathan couldn't help but chuckle despite himself and paused when Haley glared at him.

'How are you finding this funny?' She got out pathetically.

'I'm not I just bolted because your mum was freaking me out with the whole sex on the counter thing.' He admitted and saw the beginnings of a smile twitch at the corner of Haley's lips. 'And I didn't come back because I thought if I wasn't there we'd both get a break from the interrogation which by the looks of it you need because…'

'I'm a mess.' Haley supplied as she wiped at her watery eyes.

'You're a very pretty mess.' Nathan responded and smiled when Haley have him a small smile despite how torn up she was feeling.

And he knew in that moment that they were strong enough for this. And he needed to be strong for her, to hell with the doubts that were plaguing his mind.

He was just being ridiculous. _Nothing_ was going to change.

17 years of friendship up against one fake relationship and one crazy wedding. The odds were _forever_ in their favour.

'I guess I'm just scared that this will hurt us somehow, I don't know if that even makes sense…I'm just worried and I don't know why.'

'Hales look at me.' Nathan said resolutely. 'I promise, this won't change a thing.' He said and he felt relived as when he looked her into her yes he could see it, she truly believed him and he needed her to for him to believe it himself.

**Please let me know your thoughts and if you're interested in reading this story and I will be back with chapter 2 soon, there is lots to come! 😊**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahh thanks so much for your reviews/messages re my new story, I always love to hear your opinions and support - and **_**really**_** appreciate it :) **

**Here is the next chapter…**

**Chapter 2 **

_His rough callous hands gripped onto her thighs pushing them apart as he stepped in between where she was perched on the countertop. _

_Her heavy moans filled the air as his hands worked further and further up her thighs while his mouth ravaged her neck. _

'_Oh god Nathan please..' She whimpered as his hands teased her upper thigh dangerously close to where she needed them to be. _

_He groaned against her neck, she had never whimpered his name like that before and somehow it just wanted to hear her say it that away again and again. He moved his hands closer tortuously teasing her continuously groaning from the whimpers and pleading that escaped her. _

_He softly bit and licked his way up her neck along her jawline until he reached her lips and he pulled back, both of their breathing staggering as he drank her in…_

'_Haley..' He muttered confusingly_

Nathan bolted up in the bed as that annoyingly chirpy Taylor Swift song attacked his ears from where Haley's phone was laying on the bed on the table across from him. He glanced across and rolled his eyes when he noticed Lydia's name flashing across the screen as the events of the past 24 hours came back to him.

But that's not why he was incredibly shaken up.

That dream or whatever you'd call it. Hell, he knew where it had come from, damn Lydia and her stories but it was still disturbing. He lay back down on the pillow trying to think of anything to calm his body down, the last thing he needed was for Haley to catch him sporting a hard on first thing in the morning not that she'd even be surprised.

'Ugh..' He groaned frustrated as that song started up again. 'Haley will you answer your damn phone?'

Haley all but bounced out of the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy white towel with a matching one on her head. 'Dammit Nathan I was shaving my legs.'

He didn't even have a retribute. Why did she suddenly decide that this morning she was going to pounce around fucking half-naked?

Haley deadened the call not even answering her mother, she needed a bit more time this morning before she dealt with the madness again. 'What?' She said quirking her eyebrow as Nathan was giving her a what the fuck look? 'Why are you looking at me like you haven't seen me in a towel before?'

'What?' Nathan sputtered out gulping before quickly recovering. 'Just because I have doesn't mean I want to, go and put some clothes on.' He grouched out before turning over in the bed so his back was facing her.

'Oh, Mr grouchy is out this morning huh.' Haley teased; she was used to Nathan's mood swings. granted he was usually a morning person and she wasn't but she'd take it.

She for one was feeling positive about today and was glad she had her mini freak out about all of this yesterday, it was behind them now. And like she had expected her parents had completely bought into the idea of her and Nathan being together, maybe she should have felt a little guilty but in a twisted way she knew this would make her mum happy right now and all the while it would take all the pressure off her. It was just for the wedding and then eventually when Haley did visit her parents again it would probably be months later and all of this will have blown over. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

Nathan didn't reply instead he just closed his eyes willing all them unsettling thoughts about that dream away at least until that phone started blaring again. 'Dammit Haley will you answer the phone?'

Haley rolled her eyes at his grouchiness as she begrudgingly answered. 'Hey mom. Sorry I was in the shower. Yea sure, we're almost ready, perfect….we won't take long, I know…ok see you then.'

'What does she want?' Nathan mumbled.

'We're meeting them for breakfast in ten so get your ass out of bed and put that charming smirk on your face, today is going to be a good day.' Haley mused as she hopped out of bed.

'I preferred you when you were uptight about all of this.' Nathan groaned.

'Well you're the one that told me to not be so damn uptight.' Haley hollered back at him as she went back into the bathroom.

Haley couldn't help but notice how jumpy Nathan was being this morning whatever had gotten into him overnight. He would barely walk beside her. She went to tug on Nathan's hand again to test the waters almost and he practically jumped back from her.

Haley huffed out before she all but pulled Nathan out of the breakfast line over to the big bay windows away from everyone. 'Haley..what are you..?

'What is going on with you? Did I like do something inappropriate last night or something?'

It was a joke obviously but he nearly choked on words. 'What are you talking about?'

'You're being all skittish and weird!'

Damn her being able to read him so well, just the perks of being her best friend. There was no point denying. 'I'm just forgetting that's all.'

'Well that's a lame excuse if I ever heard one.'

Nathan rolled his eyes at her. 'Maybe just don't take my hand when no one is around that freaks me out.'

Haley giggled then and he glared at her. 'You're the one that did that yesterday, are we really getting into semantics here?'

He knew he was being ridiculous. 'You're right, I'm sorry Hales…this is just..'

'Yea I know..' She agreed. 'But it's not one day Nathan, yesterday doesn't cover it…we've 6 more.'

'I know we do.'

'Ok so can you do this or do you need a pep talk every morning?' She teased.

Nathan just rolled his eyes at her playfully. 'Hey, you're the one who needed a pep talk last night.'

'So will take turns..' They both laughed then just as Lydia approached them.

'Aw you two.' She gushed not even noticing how the pair practically jumped back from each other.

It's like anytime someone doted on them for their love and affection their automatic response was to recoil away from each other. _We're going to have to work on that._ Haley pondered sarcastically to herself. 'Everything ok mom?'

'Yea hunny, my father and I were hoping you'd join us alongside Taylor at our table this morning.'

'Sure Lydia we can't think of anything nicer.' Nathan said politely with that charming smirk of his.

Lydia turned on her heel just as Haley gave him an elbow to the side.

'Ow..'

'You might want to turn down the sarcasm a notch.'

**XXXXX**

For the last 30 minutes Taylor had owned the conversation at that table, talking about her engagement, their wedding and the adventures they planned for each other. Owen, her husband to be just looked on at her so lovingly bowing down and answering every little question she threw his way. Nathan couldn't help but roll his eyes until he heard Taylor pull him back into the conversation, it's like the bitch knew.

'What about you Nathan, I'm sure you've thought of it..how you might propose to our Haley here?'

And all the eyes at the table turned to him just as Haley gulped her juice beside him.

'I have.' Nathan answered easily. 'And it will probably be something simple and romantic just how Haley would like it.' He supplied as he reached for her hand that was resting on the table in front of them all giving it a squeeze.

PHEW Haley practically sighed internally. 1 point to us, 0 to the family she all but joked with herself.

'Oh please Nate you know how our family is all about the extravaganza.' Taylor quipped pointing to the fabulous décor of the country house estate they were currently in. Lydia gushed alongside her.

'Yea well I'm afraid Haley isn't.' Nathan commented back not even caring how Lydia would take it, it was the truth after all.

Haley felt her heart flutter at his words, he was saving her so much right now and he didn't even know it. She glanced across catching his eyes then and they shared a look of understanding.

'Well at least tell me ye did something exciting for yer anniversary..'

'Taylor will you quit it…' Haley began fed up of the questions.

'What?' Taylor replied undeterred. 'Come on, you two have played the 'we're just friends' card for so long I can't help but be a little curious.'

'Taylor is right hunny, we can't help it, you argued with us on this for so long and now you're suddenly together….this is a little exciting for us..you get it Nate don't you?'

Nathan felt Haley clam up beside him and she abruptly moved her hand from under his resting it back on her lap. 'Yea…' He nodded tersely. 'The thing is it's not as sudden as you think, we just we didn't really know ourselves…' He supplied rather cautiously.

'Oh you two have always been completely naïve when it came to your love.'

_LOVE?_ Haley's throat felt incredibly dry as the anxiousness swirled in her tummy. 'Mom….we're not.'

'Oh nonsense honey you've loved that boy since freshman year. I noticed the change in you… both of you might I add.' She said sending a wink Nathan's way.

_OH kill me now._ Haley groaned inwardly which was equally matched by Nathan who up to now had been playing it relatively cool but now he just wanted to bolt.

Part of him also wanted to ask Lydia what she meant by that comment but that was approaching dangerous, past the friendzone territory and he didn't want to go there.

'It was the night of the championship.' Haley all but spat out then wanting to redirect everyone's thoughts from how in love they were to something a little less painful but equally unsettling.

'What was..?' Taylor said.

'That was the night we made it official.'

That night had been just over 7 months ago now, it was the night Nathan and Lucas took the NYU violets to the championship and won it for the university. It had been the college's first win in over 5 years, the Scott brothers had worked relentlessly hard for it. In fact, it had been a really special night. And while it possibly could have ended with a drunken black out, Haley wasn't sure if it was because they were at the end of their college years and weren't feeling it anymore or what but herself, Nathan, Lucas, Brooke, Skills and some other teammates had all gone down to the beach lit a fire, played some music and just sat and drank, it had been magical.

'Oh I knew it.' Lydia gushed.

_Jesus Christ, is there any story she doesn't have some comment or observation on_? Nathan inwardly groaned.

Haley didn't even want to ask what at this stage, she found she couldn't even look towards Nathan so just stared straight ahead filled with apprehension over what was going to come out of her mother's mouth next.

'When you jumped into his arms after Nathan scored that final basket I said it to you didn't I jimmy?'

'You did darling, you did..'

'Said what?' Nathan choked out and he felt Haley eying him them from the side.

'I said that boy is so in love with my daughter I could see it in your eyes.'

Nathan wanted the ground to swallow him hole. Dammit, yes I love her as my best friend. _My best friend._ Fuck sake he wanted to stand up and shout it but clearly that wasn't going to end well.

All of a sudden Haley was finding this open dining area very, very hot, like suffocatingly warm. What the hell was her mother thinking saying all of this out loud in front of everyone?

'And Haley you had the brightest smile on your face, I've never seen you smile like that before, ever, it illuminated that whole stadium.'

The pair were stunned into silence.

'Oh come on you two, you hardly thought you were able to hide it from us? I'm sure it killed you Nate not to be able to give her a kiss in that moment?'

Nathan couldn't even respond as the images from that night washed through his mind. Haley jumping into him, the smile on her face, how she felt in his arms. He'd never had the urge to kiss her not even then. They were that close that he could understand at times how it may seem to the outside world it looked as if they were a couple, but somehow Haley's mother, a person from their inside world making such observations was deeply unsettling.

It's nothing they hadn't heard before but they were all commenting about it now in light of the fact that Nathan and Haley were _actually a couple_ and it was disturbing for them both.

Haley was deathly silenced beside him and he knew that wasn't a good thing, she was most likely dwelling on all these comments and observations, over analysing them, picking them apart and he knew he'd have to steal her away before they went their separate ways for the hen and stag celebrations for the afternoon.

'Haley can I talk to you for a moment?' Nathan questioned as he rested his hand on her shoulder, he was grateful when she didn't jump back like he thought she would.

'Don't you steal her away for long mister I know it will kill you being apart from her all day, you two were always inseparable as kids.'

Haley couldn't help but roll her eyes this time not even caring who seen her as Nathan pulled her outside the French doors into the quiet garden area.

'You ok?' Nathan questioned softly as Haley paced in front of him then. He glanced back in and noticed they couldn't be seen from here which he was grateful for.

'Oh my god…she is just relentless.' Haley finally got out as she breathed in gulps of fresh air, for the last hour she felt like she was sitting in front of the jury or something waiting for one of them to notice her slip up.

'I know she is Hales, but did we really expect her to be any other way?' Nathan sighed.

Haley expelled a deep breath. 'No, I suppose not.'

The two just stood in silence then grateful for the reprieve.

'Thanks.' Haley said softly then and Nathan looked at her curiously. 'You really held the forte down in there.' She admitted quietly.

A genuine smile graced his features, very unlike the one he had been sporting the last half hour and Haley knew the difference immediately. 'Hey, you definitely saved us with that anniversary question…you were right on the plane; I totally couldn't have winged that.' Nathan teased and watched as a genuine smile too washed across Haley's face.

'1 point to us and 0 points to them?' She joked.

Nathan wrapped his arm around her shoulder then in the friendly way he always did. 'Sure thing, we will be 2 points up by the end of the day I know it.' He teased. 'And look we've already got the anniversary and the proposal talk out of the way what else can they throw at us?'

'Oh I don't know maybe mum will keep rehashing every little memory from the past about us and scrutinising it….doesn't that bother you?'

'Not really.' Nathan shrugged. 'We know how things happened, nothing anyone is going to say will change that.' He reasoned as Haley softly nodded.

'Don't let what they say get to you.' But he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince with that one, Haley or himself.

**XXXXX**

Haley glanced at her watch sighing as time seemed to be moving ridiculously slow. The respective hen and stag do's were taking place today two days before the wedding, much to Taylor's wishes she never was one to go down the normal route anyway.

Originally Haley thought it was a little odd that they left the parties until right before the wedding but it made sense when everyone was away together. They were going to be joining up with the stag party in an hour which she was grateful for because she missed Nathan by her side.

She had got the raw end of the deal with the women of the family but she was grateful for at least having Quinn.

'Ok what gives baby sis?' Quinn teased as she saddled up beside her bumping into her hip playfully.

'What do you mean?' Haley mused taking a sip of her champagne.

'Well you've only gone and crossed the line with the boy you've loved for years and something is off with you, what's going on?'

Damn Quinn, she was the only one Haley was sure that would possibly see through this and she knew Nathan knew it as well. Quinn, Haley and Jimmy were more alike than anyone else in the family and true to form they could also read each other better than anyone else.

'It's not that it's…'

'Hurricane Taylor.' Quinn supplied teasingly.

'Yea and mom she's just not stopped hounding me about this.' Haley sighed.

'You knew it was going to happen bob, she never left you alone about it all through high school.'

'I know I just wish she would back off a little, we're trying to adjust to this ourselves without everyone else pressing fast forward and just waiting for us to be married.' Haley said.

'Please moms being waiting since you two were kids, remember that fake wedding we had in the backyard where Nathan gave you the daisy bracelet?' Quinn laughed.

Haley giggled alongside her. 'He was so nervous, it was kind of cute.'

'Until he knocked your tooth out and you told him you wanted a divorce.'

'I was 9.' Haley scoffed.

'Look I know we've kind of drifted a little with you going to college and me going off to Asia but I want you to know sis you can talk to me, whatever it is…' Quinn said seriously then.

'Yea..' Haley said looking a little perplexed at her serious tone all of a sudden.

Quinn could tell Haley was wondering what she was getting at 'It's just….I know you Haley-bop and if what's happened between you and Nathan has been going on these last few months I guess I'm just surprised you never came to me with this, I'm sure it has been confusing as hell.'

Haley gulped a wad of champagne down before glancing back towards her sister. Of course, if this had happened in real life..Haley would be freaking out and she would no doubt be on that first flight over to her sister screaming at her for advice or a hit across the head or something because in real life Haley would never have crossed that line with Nathan without a freak out happening.

God, how was she going to make this believable?

'Quinn…I just, god I was embarrassed maybe my pride came into play I don't know, I just never wanted to admit it out loud because then I knew if I did there was a chance this could go wrong and I could lose him. I guess I didn't want you to say to me what a mistake we were making..' Haley admitted and surprised herself with how freely those words flowed out, but it felt like it was coming from the heart. She figured that part of the reason they never had crossed that line with their ravaging hormones in high school was because of that very fact; they were scared to ruin what they had and they didn't want to lose each other.

'You really think I would have said this was a mistake…' Quinn said then.

Haley shrugged. 'Maybe…I don't know.'

'You can only go with your heart Hales but trust me I never would have said you and Nathan actually letting each other in was a mistake.'

'We've always let each other in.' Haley countered.

'Not all the way.' Quinn softly replied. 'You never let someone all the way in Hales unless you're in love with them, loving your best friend is different but being in love….that's just, its magical.'

Haley felt her heart pounding in her chest at her sister's words, this was getting all too deep, too fast. She watched the dopey look form on her sister's face then. 'You missing him?'

'Yea..' Quinn giggled. 'I can see him getting on really well with Nate though. Haley nodded at that.

'How about we go find our fellas? It's about time the two parties joined together.'

'I'm soo with you on that.'

Nathan took a shot grimacing as the sharp liquid slid down his throat as another girl pushed seductively into the girl that was already on his lap and started grinding down on him. He didn't know how long it had been since he'd actually being out clubbing and it had been years since he was given a lap dance none the less. He was totally reaping the benefits of this shitstorm of a wedding he found himself involved in.

Clay chuckled beside him. 'Man, you might want to stick to one girl if you want to keep your girlfriend by the end of the night.'

_Girlfriend? What girlfriend? Fuck. Haley_...he was totally letting his guard slip and he was pretty sure that was because he was surrounded by guys that didn't have a fucking clue about him and Haley and it was just easy to be himself. He was aware this possibly looked bad and even in his semi drunken haze he managed to shrug the two women off him before one turned around and grabbed a shot off the table dipping her tongue into it before licking the side of his neck seductively. A series of roars came from Clay and some of the other fellas and Nathan just laughed it off completely unaware of the pair of brown eyes that were watching him from the entrance to the hotel bar.

'Want to get another one?' The girl teased as she grabbed the shot glass that was dangling from a necklace around her neck and placed it around Nathans.

'Sure.' He replied with that cheeky smirk of his, once again forgetting the real reason he was here in the first place.

They sauntered up to the bar and the girl was practically grinding into Nathan as he stood behind her. He felt a girl tug roughly on his arm and he smiled down at Haley before he caught that look on her face _Oh shit._

'Excuse me' She said giving Nathan that we need to talk look, the look which usually reverted him to the fumbling boy Haley had known all through the years.

Before she pulled him away she leered at the girl dangling off him who so overtly didn't care about her presence as she tossled what looked like straight up vodka into his shot glass. Feeling extremely on edge from the events of the day Haley grabbed the shot necking it back herself before she pulled Nathan out of the bar towards the lift to their room. She pushed him in the door and he stumbled from all the drinks he consumed nearly losing his footing as he faced her.

'Hales take it easy al..right.' He hiccupped then. 'I was just having some fun.'

'You're an idiot.' She shouted at him not even a bit concerned by the other two people in the lift who felt rather awkward as they shuffled away from the two.

'Ok Haley FYI…none of them are here so there's no need to act like the jealous girlfriend.' He joked however he knew that was a big mistake when she glared at him before practically shoving him so he hit against the mirror at the back of the lift.

'Well someone better act because what you were doing back there nearly blew the whole thing up in our faces.' She let out enraged at him. She wasn't just angry over than though, she knew it was petty but she was feeling angry because while she had spent the day being tormented by visions of them and how they were just made for each other, Nathan had obviously being partying with zero fucks given and having the time of his life.

The lift dinged at their floor much to the relief of the other occupants and Haley stormed out with Nathan hot on her heels. 'Hales why are you pissed?' He tried to soften his approach knowing he could always break through her hard demeanour easier and faster like this.

'Oh, don't sweet nickname me.' Haley retorted. 'You know why I am pissed Nathan; you were seconds away from dry humping that girl in public…wait you already were, what else did I miss?' She spewed as she opened the door not even holding it for him.

Nathan came in scoffing behind her. 'You know you really are acting like the jealous girlfriend right now…it's kind of freaking me out.'

'Oh shut up Nathan, I'm pissed at you….how could you do that? How do you think that makes us look, I seen you with Clay and he didn't even have a girl on his lap much less a girl sucking and licking down his neck….you should have seen Quinn's face.'

'Haley it's a stag, this is what guys do.'

'Guys that aren't in relationships Nathan, there's a line…oh wait which you wouldn't know seen as you've never been in one and obviously have no idea how to treat a girl.'

'Hey…that's not fair and you know it….I dated that Shelley girl in high school.' He argued back.

'Yea for like 4 weeks and look how that ended.' Haley shot back as she rummaged through her clothes looking for her pjs. Nathan leaned against the wall adjacent to the bathroom watching as Haley couldn't find a single thing she was looking for because she was so worked up. He was used to seeing her like this although he hadn't been at the receiving end of it for a while.

'What's this really about?' He questioned then.

'Don't act like you know me because you don't' Haley countered even more pissed with him for knowing exactly that there was more going on and of course he was right.

Nathan held back the smirk at her words. 'You were obviously upset before you came to the bar so what happened?'

'Dammit where are my clothes?!' Haley shouted completely frustrated. Nathan left where he was leaning against the wall grabbing her pjs that were neatly placed on the bed and dropped them into her lap. He didn't dare tease her because he knew now was not the time. 'Here.'

She sighed softly closing her eyes for a moment willing herself to calm down. 'They just didn't stop all day, mum, auntie Sarah, Bessie, Brenda…all of them wouldn't shut up about us.'

'Well what did you expect Hales when we came here toge…?' He stopped immediately as she glared at him. _Wrong words, clearly. God she must be on her period or something. _

'That doesn't help Nathan.'

'Ok maybe you should just be a little less uptight and try to enjoy this a little,..'

'Oh you mean like you, I should just go whore around and not care how that reflects back on us..'

'Hey that's not fair, you know more than anyone that I don't whore around.' Nathan reasoned then, their friends in college used to always make jokes that Nathan was such a player because he didn't settle down, those jokes started his freshman year of college when his life consisted of partying and women to dull the pain of what had happened his senior year.

But he hadn't slept with all those girls. It was just a reputation, one he didn't actually live up to. He only slept with girls he actually dated, if you could even call it that and that was very few. And Haley knew that more than anyone.

'Yea and you decided tonight was the night you were going to let freshers year Nathan back on the scene.' She quipped sarcastically.

'Yea well you ever think I needed a break considering I'm the one that's carrying both of us..' Nathan retorted then, he couldn't help himself, Haley was just being extra bitchy right now.

'What's that supposed to mean?' She huffed out as she stood up facing him with her arms across her chest.

'You're completely stiffening up Haley, your freezing in response to every question and then I have to answer every single thing…'

'I saved our asses with that anniversary question this morning.' Haley argued back standing her ground.

'Yea and I practically carried us through the rest of the day because you couldn't even answer a damn question about our first date.'

She knew he was right and she was losing this battle. Truth be told she had completely frozen up ever since her mum had spoken about the championship night and the things she said about Nathan and about herself. She was letting it all get to her and she swore she wouldn't and it was only day 2.

'Yea will your answer sucked, as if we would go play mini golf for our first date we've been doing that since we were 7 on the rooftop of the freaking cafe.' She argued back pathetically just trying to get one up on him.

'Whatever I should have told them I took you to a club and got you to loosen up a bit, god knows you need it.' Nathan spat back before he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room welting the door behind him. Haley stared at him her mouth agape at his words.

She sunk back down to the floor then resting her head back against the bed as the tears filled her eyes. She knew she hadn't been fair to him there; she was just so overwhelmed with it all and she completely took it out on him. It wasn't his fault he was having a bit of fun, heck he deserved it, after all he was taking time off work to come and do this for her.

That was the worst fight they had for a while and she couldn't help but think that it was all an early warning of things to come.

Was it too late to pull out now?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

Haley awoke to the mouth-watering smell of coffee and pastries. Grumbling she wiped her sleepy eyes as she sat up in the bed where Nathan was giving her the sweetest puppy dog face as he held the cup of coffee towards her. 'Truce…' He said sheepishly and Haley couldn't help the wide smile that came across her face. 'Where did you sleep?' She said a little worried then when she noticed his crumpled shirt from last night.

'On the couch and by the way if we have an argument again your body would fit perfectly along the length of it.' Nathan teased.

'You didn't have to sleep on the couch.' Haley said feeling even worse if that was possible given the way she had acted last night.

'I know but I was afraid you would subconsciously thump me in your sleep like that time we went camping and I scared you.'

Haley chuckled at that. 'I smell pastries?'

He couldn't help but laugh at the delight gleaming in her eyes as he pulled the brown paper bag from behind him. 'This was in case you were still pissed at me..'

'Is it…'

'Almond croissant with the almond flake toppings yes…your best friend doesn't forget these kind of things.' Nathan teased as he handed her the paper bag all the while hopping up on the bedside her with his own coffee cup.

'Nathan I'm sorry..' Haley began then feeling worse than ever.

'Hales it's fine, you were right I should have been more careful last night…I was stupid I didn't even think..'

'No you deserve to have some fun after all I'm the one that dragged you out here, I just don't want you to hate me for it.' She pouted.

'Haley I could never hate you.' Nathan said used to her over dramatic reasoning sometimes. 'And I didn't mean to offend you about being so uptight I just wish you could relax a little for yourself you know and get some enjoyment out of this; I've seen how hard you've worked and I just think you deserve to have some fun that's all.'

'Thank you.' Haley said softly as she took a bit of the croissant moaning at how insanely good it tasted.

Nathan chuckled. 'For what I said or for that…?'

'Both.' Haley smiled up at him. 'Want some?' She pushed it towards him and Nathan willingly took a bite, the action not bothering either of them, sharing food like that was nothing new to them, it felt natural somehow.

'So good.' Nathan muttered with his mouth full.

'Manners.' Haley admonished playfully and Nathan just rolled his eyes.

'So I guess it's safe to say my family were 2 points up yesterday and we're on 1.' Haley joked.

'We keeping score?'

'Kind of.' Haley teased playfully.

'Ok well you know how I like to win and I know how competitive you are so we better even the score then!' Nathan joked back. the least they could do was try and have some fun with this.

Haley grinned at that before she faltered as what he said last night came back to her. 'Do you really feel like that?' She said apprehensively then.

'Like what?' Nathan wondered as he took a sip of his coffee.

'That you're carrying this whole charade….our relationship because I'm trying Nathan..'

'Hales I just said that to justify how I was acting last night, that wasn't fair to you I know this is hard for you maybe even harder because it's your family…I guess I'd be the same if it were mine.'

'I was naïve thinking this would be easy but I'll try harder.'

'Haley we're doing fine ok, how about today we try and have a little fun? What about if we escape the madness for a while and go swimming or something?'

Haley's eyes lit up at that, she couldn't think of the last time they had a day out together just the two of them with the craziness of life lately. 'That sounds perfect. It's the day before the wedding so my guess is mom and Taylor are going to be pretty occupied for most of the day.'

'So what's our plan, escape early?'

'How about we escape right now?'

**XXXXX**

'So much for it just being us two.' Haley muttered as she walked alongside Nathan.

'At least it's just Clay and Quinn, they're fine.' Nathan reasoned as he carried the pitcher of drinks with a towel draped over his shoulder. Nathan and Haley had decided to go and find a nice secluded spot down by the lake for a swim and relax in the sun for a few hours. They bumped into Quinn and Clay down at reception asking for a bag to carry their stuff and soon realised that they had very similar plans for the afternoon. It seemed they were looking to escape the madness as well.

'Yea we just have to careful around Quinn.' Haley whispered. 'She knows us Nathan she'll be able to tell in a moment if things are off.'

'Ok so if I touch just try not to jump ok…' Nathan mused. 'Here.' He said then as he took her hand with his free one and they strolled along ahead of Quinn and Clay.

It still felt weird for both of them but today they refused to give into the doubts and warning signs that what they were doing was wrong, with the wedding tomorrow it was too late to back out now.

It was either all or nothing.

'I think I need a drink already.' Haley joked then.

Nathan smirked. 'Well I've a bottle of rosé right here.'

'Woah you two way to go carrying down a bottle of wine.' Quinn laughed as she tossed her little halter top and her shorts off her body.

'Sorry just it's Taylor's wedding and it's totally acceptable to drink during the day.' Haley joked as she too shimmed out of her clothing to reveal a red halter bikini with cheeky red bikini bottoms.

'Red is so your colour..' Quinn said admiring Haley's bathing suit. 'Is this all for Nathan?' She teased and Haley just rolled her eyes.

'You should know I never dress for boys Quinnie.' Haley teased back.

'I bet but one boy in particular is enjoying the view.' Quinn winked and Haley looked in her direction to see Nathan smirking over at her. It was nothing out of the ordinary, he'd seen her in a bikini millions of times before.

'Well you're certainly making my job easy today.' Nathan joked as he came up behind Haley and rested his calloused hands over her tummy, she shivered at the touch and she wasn't sure why, it's not like he hadn't touched her when she was in her bathing suit before, this position just felt particularly intimate. Sure he'd picked her up and tossed her in the pool loads but right now the way both his thumbs were absentmindedly caressing her skin in soft circles was fucking with her brain and her body, she was pretty sure Nathan didn't even realise what he was doing. _Stop overthinking it Haley._ She really needed to get a grip.

'Red is definitely your colour James.' He goaded and just like that her mind floated back to reality with that very nickname he used for her. Yep this was her childhood best friend and it was just ridiculous to be feeling or even give any thought to her body reacting a certain way to his touches right? Obviously Haley had no control over her body but she couldn't give it a second thought, with that in mind Haley pulled away from Nathan's embrace looking back giving him a cheeky grin, one he knew all too well. 'Race ya there!' She mocked and took off running towards the pier before shrieking and jumping into the beautiful lake below.

Coming up to the water's surface Haley giggled as Nathan popped his head up after her.

'You lose.' She goaded and Nathan just rolled his eyes. 'It wasn't fair, you started first.'

The two of them just started laughing then as a sense of déjà vu washed over them from the many times they used to race and dive into the swimming pool and then fight about it.

Seconds later another splash surrounded behind them and they laughed as Quinn popped up. 'Oh don't tell me he has actually drowned.' She joked before they glanced towards him standing at the foot of the pier.

'I'm just going to watch.' Clay said coolly.

'Can't you swim?' Nathan shouted up.

'Oh yeah I just don't jump..'

'Come on man it's not even that high.' Nathan said rather amused.

'Nathan..' Haley admonished.

'It's ok he's a little scaredy cat.' Quinn teased.

'I heard that, I'm' not scared.'

'So jump.'

Quinn shook her head as she swam over to the steps and climbed out beside Clay. After several minutes talking they walked back over to the steps.

'Whimp.' Nathan muttered.

'Hey..' Haley said as she splashed water in his face. 'Says the boy who was swimming with arm bands until he was like 8.'

'I told you to never mention that again and I was 7.' Nathan gritted out.

'Well then, be nice.'

Nathan just splashed water back at her and the two continued at that for minutes forgetting everyone around them as they lost themselves just laughing and playing around like they always had.

Haley came up for air then after being dunked down trying to catch her breath. 'Ok time out…' She pleaded as Nathan ran his hand through his bangs, his breathing staggered also.

'You two used to do this all the time at the swimming pool.' Quinn smiled. 'It would literally go on for hours.' She said to Clay.

'Except for now you can do even more fun things….' Clay teased as he pulled Quinn against him into a soft kiss.

Nathan felt rather awkward just bopping in the water then and he was pretty sure they were expecting him and Haley to take the opportunity to make out but even if he was with her there wouldn't be a chance of that happening, Nathan felt it was kind of an intimate moment to share in the water like this and it wasn't one he'd like to share with another couple. He swam over to the edge then nodding his head at Haley and she followed his lead. The pair climbed out while Quinn and Clay seemed to be lost in themselves.

Nathan and Haley sat with their legs dangling on the edge of the peer. He could see that longing look in Haley's eyes and he chuckled. 'You're such a girl.' He teased bumping into her shoulder.

'I am a girl.' Haley said sticking her tongue out at him. 'They're just so in love.' She said with a wistful smile. 'It's nice you know, I didn't think Quinn would find someone after David broke her heart and Clay loosing Sara, it's like they were meant to be.'

'Do you believe in all that?' Nathan found himself asking then as he squinted at her, the sun shining down directly on them.

'What…that people are meant to be together?'

'Yea.' Nathan said. 'I mean Quinn was meant to be with David and Clay with Sara and look how that turned out?'

Haley smiled at him, she was ever the dreamer and Nathan the realist, it's why they balanced each other so perfectly.

He kept her grounded while she made him feel a little lighter in the world. It was harmonious.

'Maybe they weren't meant to be with them, maybe by going through that they found who they're meant to be with and it matters more you know?''

Nathan just nodded. 'What about Jake?'

She hadn't expected him to bring up his name just like that. For some reason it had her wanting to dive back into the lake, it's like Nathan knew. But who was she kidding, of course he knew.

'He's not it for me.' She said softly.

Nathan just nodded in understanding; he knew Haley was just playing along in Brooke's dating game when she agreed to go out with Jake. But her eyes didn't light up when she spoke about him and that childlike vision she had on the world, it's like there was an adult there quashing it, telling her to grow up every time she was around him. And it's not like Jake wasn't a good guy, a nice guy, he was but Nathan knew and Haley knew that if it was to get any more serious she would just be settling.

Maybe she would be settling for her mother, or for society, who knew but it wouldn't sit right in her heart. 'How did you know?' Haley muttered quietly then.

Nathan shrugged; he didn't even know how to explain it. This deep connection, this unspoken bond between them, unbreakable as it was and he felt with one look into Haley's eye he could see right into her soul and he knew when it was burning bright and when it was burning out.

Lately it was burning out. He knew it. They both knew it. She was holding on to the fire inside of her within an inch of her life and he'd never seen her this close to its quenching. Haley had helped him through some pretty dark days his senior year, she had always been the beacon of light. Lately since they left college he couldn't help but feel that his best friend, his Haley that he cared about so deeply, her light was a little diminished. It was partly the reason his decision to come here was a no brainer, he was so worried about her.

And going on her reactions to her family yesterday and what she had admitted just now he had been right.

'Nathan…' Haley said softly then breaking him from his thoughts.

'You're just not you when you're around him.' Nathan simply said knowing it probably wouldn't help her much at all but it was the truth.

Haley reached for his hand then not even thinking twice about the action that they were holding hands as a couple, she reached for it a gave it a squeeze because he had said exactly what she had been feeling, she felt like a part of her soul was diminished when she was with Jake and it wasn't even his fault. She wondered if she just had her head in the clouds and this aching, this longing for a love that was so childlike and fun even existed. what was she holding out for she didn't even know anymore?

'It's just all been so confusing lately.' Haley admitted. 'I feel like one minute ago we were seniors in high school much less college and now we just have to have everything figured out.'

Nathan let go of her hand then as he rested his arm across her shoulder pulling her close to him. 'We will never have it all figured out Hales but we will face it together right? We always have.'

Haley glanced at him giving him a soft smile. 'I don't know what I'd do without you, you know that…you've saved me more times than I can count.'

'Yea well you saved me, I could have gone down a very different road after everything…'

Haley could hear the hesitation in his voice then, immediately recognising that was probably as far as this conversation was going to go. He still struggled to talk about it even with her and she wished someday he would just let her in a little more, she remembered thinking after it happened it may take a few months but those months had become years and here they were.

'You two ready for some lunch?' Quinn shouted up to the pair smiling at them.

'Yea we're starving.' Nathan shouted back silently thinking alongside Haley that the timing couldn't be more perfect

**XXXXX**

Nathan tried to hold back the smile on his face as he watched Haley try and act nice and pleasant as Taylor and her mom barked orders at everyone up at the altar. They were having a miniature rehearsal before the big day tomorrow but Haley had been gone well over two hours so he decided to come down in the hopes of rescuing her from the last-minute madness.

'What took you so long son?'

Jimmy's voice jolted Nathan from his thoughts. 'Well I'm taking everyone's advice to avoid Hurricane Taylor.' He joked as he slipped his hands into his jean pockets.

Jimmy chucked beside him. 'Oh I'd be avoiding entirely but that's not what I meant.' He said eying Nathan then. 'With our Haley, when did you finally ask her out?' He goaded.

Nathan just laughed awkwardly at that semi-hoping Haley would spot him and save him from this conversation right now. He had an inkling then how tricky it must have been for her on her own the last day with all the questioning, it certainly wasn't easy, he felt completely blind-sided and it was much easier with Haley by his side.

'You were always a man of few words Nathan when it came to talking about things.' Jimmy continued then. 'I'm not wanting to put you on the spot, you've enough of that with my dear wife.' He mused and Nathan just nodded in agreeance 'I just wanted to say how happy I am for both of you, god knows you've had enough heartache in your life and my Haley, I always worried that maybe, somehow she'd let you get away. I'm just glad she didn't or maybe you didn't let her.' He said smiling.

'I'll always care about Haley Mr. James.'

'It's Jimmy son and I know you will, heck you scared away every kid in the school yard that so much as stepped on her toe growing up.' The pair shared a laugh. 'But it's different now you know.'

Nathan looked at him questionably semi hoping he would elaborate or quell the series of plaguing questions in his mind but what Jimmy said only left him feeling more unsettled. 'You'll see son, you'll see.' He gave him a tap on the shoulder then as he continued down the gravel path in the flowery courtyard where the wedding would be held.

Nathan felt a stab at his chest, the second stab of guilt he felt since coming here as he watched Haley practically run and jump into the arms of her father. Jimmy was at peace with them being together, it seemed like it had been everything he had hoped for his little girl. Nathan felt so guilty, in all their worrying over how this could affect their friendship they hadn't even thought about how the truth would affect Haley's family but most importantly her father.

'Hey…' Her beaming smile was in front of him then and he couldn't help but smile back at her, he missed seeing her like this.

'You ok?' Haley chirped eying Nathan curiously.

'Yea….I just.' Nathan hesitated as he looked into the curious brown eyes of his best friend. He knew she'd be able to tell immediately if he lied to her, it was both a blessing and curse being so close to her. 'Your dad he's just really happy we're together that's all.' Nathan said quietly and he watched that same flicker of guilt reside on her face and he hated himself for it.

Haley sighed as she glanced back at her father before turning back towards Nathan. 'He'll understand why I had to do this you know, if anyone understands he will.'

Nathan just nodded as he glanced down at the ground. Maybe jimmy would understand from Haley's point of view. 'I just feel like I'm betraying his trust somehow.' Nathan mumbled and Haley could see why this was actually getting to him and she felt terrible.

'Nathan…' She said softly and a little sadly then.

'Look it's fine Hales…I don't want to ruin your night it's just..'

'No I'm glad you told me, no secrets between us remember?' She teased as they both thought back to their childhood pinky promise, one they had kept every day since. 'Besides if we're to survive this crazy show we need to be completely honest with each other.' She admitted as Nathan nodded.

'You want to get out of here and raid our mini bar?' Nathan offered then.

'You read my mind Nathan Scott!' She mused as she looped her arm through his and the pair snuck away.

**XXXXX**

'If I didn't tell you, you look simply stunning today Miss James.' Nathan teased as he found Haley sitting on the second row of chairs in front of the alter where Taylor stood just over an hour ago and said her vows.

The wedding of course had gone off perfectly, it was a grand lavish, affair, everything Taylor has wished for and Haley had been so caught up in her bridesmaids duties that Nathan hadn't got to spend a quiet moment with her all day. He'd been waiting patiently for everyone to move along to the front of the estate for the champagne reception following the ceremony. And just like he'd thought, his best friend had waited behind and there she was sitting soaking in the silence. Nathan came up sitting on the little white chair beside her then his arm brushing up softly against hers, an act that somehow both their bodies seemed to respond to, little did the pair even realise.

'And for a fake boyfriend you sure do look very handsome.' Haley teased back as she appraised Nathan, his suit jacket long discarded and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, she would be blind to say her best friend wasn't attractive. Nathan was starkingly handsome, even as a younger boy he had such striking features.

Nathan smiled down at her then watching as she fiddled with her stiletto heel, Haley was wearing a powder blue strapless dress which hugged her figure. Her long blonde hair was clipped half up with the rest of it flowing down behind her back, she really did look gorgeous. Obviously Taylor's plan to have the girls in not a noticeable colour dress had backfired. Nathan couldn't help but chuckle at that.

'What are you laughing at now?' Haley mused. 'I swear all you did throughout the whole sermon was laugh to yourself.'

'You're not wrong there.' Nathan mused. 'I'm just thinking how Taylor's plan backfired with these dresses.' He commented honestly as he openly appraised Haley again.

'Stop, you're embarrassing me.' She admonished as she hit him playfully on the shoulder.

'What I can say you look good Hales?' He mused.

'Just don't say it to Taylor, I swear she had the whole Cinderella and me and Quinn as the ugly stepsisters scenario in her head for this wedding.'

Nathan just chuckled. 'That would never be possible.'

'Is there a reason you're being so nice? Do you want me to bring you pastries in bed tomorrow?' She teased

'No and yes it's your turn I'm still waiting on you to do that for me.'

'You only did that cause you were apologising.'

'I knew you'd forgive me without the pastries.' Nathan jibbed and Haley just rolled her eyes at him before their teasing quietened down and they just sat there basking in the silence and enjoying the moment where things were just calm and natural between them without any pretence.

'So day 3 huh..' Nathan said then. 'We've definitely evened the scoring board right?' He joked.

'Oh I'd say we are winning.' Haley mused confidently.

'Don't get too cocky James, we've a reception, slow dances and conversations with drunk family members to get through.'

'Oh don't remind me.' Haley said as she shook her head. 'Hopefully everyone will be too drunk to notice us keeping our distance from each other.'

'Would they be too drunk to notice us flirting with other people?'

Haley just gave him the are you kidding look?

'I'm just kidding Hales.' Nathan teased.

'You know what have we even slow danced…like ever?'

'Prom.' Nathan said then quietly as he caught her gaze and he knew Haley understood straight away. He had almost lost himself with her that night, even now he knew he hadn't being in his right mind. Clearly. To this day Nathan knew that was because of what had happened in the weeks previous and it was nothing more than that. He had been vulnerable and confused.

Haley smiled at the memory. 'Well you better not stand on my toes tonight; I swear that's what ruined my baby toe.' She mused.

'You've twisted feet Hales, blame prom all you like but I've seen your ugly toes long before that.'

'Why are you my friend again?' Haley questioned sarcastically.

'Because I can do this when I know your feet are killing you like they are now.' Nathan said cockily as he stood and bent down in front of Haley and she cheered giddily as she hopped on so he could give her a piggyback. 'Did I tell you you're like the bestest friend ever?'

'Yea, yea no need to plumose me James, you're already getting what you want.' Nathan chuckled as he carried her out down to the reception.

**XXXXX**

'So, are you thinking about what yer wedding will be like?' Lydia teased as she caught her daughter gazing over at Nathan who was leaning against the pillar chatting away to some of the groomsmen.

'No mother, I'm barely a graduate looking for a full-time job, no I'm not thinking of my wedding.' Haley let out teasingly although there was an undertone of vexation behind her words.

'Well Nathan is in a good line of work so money won't be a problem.' Lydia countered to which Haley just rolled her eyes. Why was it always about money for them, wasn't one lavish affair for a wedding enough? Haley knew he mom was never overtly keen on the idea of her going into teaching because the wages were just average.

'Like Nathan said if we ever do get married, it will be nice and simple mom, that's all I could ever want.' Haley admitted honestly.

'What do you mean if you ever do get married, you love the boy don't you…it's only a matter of time before you..'

'We've been going out like 7 months..' Haley reasoned.

'Yea and thinking about it for ten years before that.'

'We weren't ever thinking about it.' Haley found herself fighting back.

Lydia chuckled. 'Oh Haley you have to admit now there's always being chemistry there?'

'I think you're spending too much time around Tay mom you're starting to sound like her.'

'Haley would you like to dance?' Nathan asked smoothly as he graciously put his hand out for his friend.

'I would love to.' She all but jumped out of her seat and away from her mother's interrogation as she accepted Nathan's hand while placing the other on his broad shoulder. She felt his slide down to rest on her waist and she shivered a little.

'You cold?' Nathan asked as he felt Haley shiver against him.

'Yea, a little.' Haley lied not really understanding her reaction, she was obviously just on edge and not used to Nathan touching her like that, that's all it was.

'thanks for saving me.' Haley said softly then as they danced in slow circles.

'You had your rescue me face on you and granted you usually save that for guys I guess it kind of works for your mom to.' Nathan joked.

Haley just chuckled as she rested her head against his chest leaning into him. She always felt so safe in his arms.

'You want to talk about it?' Nathan asked then as he turned them so Lydia couldn't see them anymore.

'Oh she just wants to know when we are planning our wedding.' Haley mumbled; he could clearly hear the vexation in her tone.

'So did you tell her we plan to elope?' Nathan teased and smiled when he heard her soft chuckle.

'Can you imagine her reaction?'

'Yea it would be worth doing it just to see it.'

'Do you ever think about it Nathan?' Haley said softly then from where her head was rested against his chest.

'What? Our wedding? I think I did once when we were 9.' He teased her.

Haley smiled back at the memory. 'No, I mean getting married, do you ever think about giving your heart to someone?' She said as she pulled back to gaze into his deep blue eyes then.

Nathan swallowed thickly at the turn this conversation had taking. He felt himself being pulled into her gaze. 'Honestly Hales, not really.' He admitted and he knew she was saddened by his admission. 'Not since…'

'Aren't you two just adorable.' Brenda's voice gushed as she came to stand in front of the pair breaking them from their conversation. 'Get in for a picture.'

Nathan and Haley shuffled awkwardly a little as he wrapped his arm around her in his usual way.

'Oh come on I've a photo just like this from yer first day of high school, I want a couples picture now.' Brenda winked.

Dammit Brenda I knew you couldn't handle your wine. Haley thought to herself and gasped a little as she felt Nathan grab her from behind then as he clasped his arms across her tummy, she felt her body moulding in against his muscular frame and it felt. She pushed all her intrusive thoughts aside as they smiled for the camera before she completely pulled away from Nathan.

Sensing her uncomfortableness Nathan tugged Haley's arm. 'Sorry she just..'

Haley sent a smile his way. 'You don't need to apologise Nathan. ' She said.

'Are you ok?'

Damn him being able to read her so well. 'Yea, I guess it's just being an emotional day and I'm a little tired you know.' She wasn't exactly lying.

'Yea.' Nathan agreed. 'Want to sneak away for a bit, I mean they'll all just think we're having slutty wedding sex so we don't even need a cover story there.' He joked.

'Eww gross.' Haley admonished hitting his arm.

Nathan just chuckled at her. 'Come on.' He said as he pulled her through the massive ballroom and out a side door to the large white balcony that overlooked Lake Garda in front of them. They walked down a couple of steps to the balcony below the main one where no one else was.

'I'd love to say that the craziness is almost over but I think tomorrow is going to be even crazier.' Haley admitted.

'What's the deal with this after party anyway?' Nathan questioned as he leant his arms on the balcony.

'Oh it's some big couples entertainment night that Taylor is all mad for, seen as their newlyweds it's a given she'll get on stage.'

'It's crazy how much she craves the spotlight when you're like the opposite.' Nathan commented.

'I know.' Haley huffed out as she came to stand beside him. 'Maybe that's why from growing up with Taylor.'

'You shouldn't dim your light Haley just so Taylor can take centre stage.'

'I wouldn't want centre stage Nathan you know that.'

'I do but what I mean is you shouldn't let Taylor affect your own life, I seen you whether it's in college or with your teaching you don't believe in yourself as much as you should. I've always told you you're going to do great things, amazing things but you need to believe it.'

'Where's this coming from?' Haley pondered softly as she glanced sideways meeting his gaze.

Nathan shrugged bashfully before glancing back at her. 'I don't know, I guess I'm just worried about you.' He admitted quietly then.

She felt her heart flutter the same way it always did from his genuine care and affection. She looped her arm though his resting her head on his shoulder. 'You don't need to be, I'm ok I promise, life had just been a little messy lately.' She said honestly.

'Yea I missed this, I missed us, I feel like we haven't had time together with leaving college, starting new jobs. You think living together would make it easy.'

'Are you happy Nathan?' Haley questioned softly then after a few moments.

The stillness of the night evaded him as her words held like the inhale of a breath in the cold night air. 'What makes you say that?' He wondered.

Haley smiled despite herself, it was one of the many things her best friend had done for years, deflect answering a question by asking another. The familiarity of it all brought a smile to her face.

'When I asked you if you would ever give your heart to someone its only because I want all that for you after everything, I want you to be happy.' She said longingly.

'And what about what you want Hales?'

'I want a love that just takes me away from all of this, one that shows me that life isn't so materialistic and built on pride and outward appearances as my mom so believes it to be.'

He let her words wash over him as the two just stayed there for a while both looking out at the night sky searching for answers they didn't even know the questions to.

'Yeesh I think it's all this wedding talk and the speeches have me feeling so sentimental.' Haley teased then dissipating the heaviness of the conversation between them .

'You remember in high school when we would both just sit on the bleachers at the river court and just look at the night sky.'

'Yea.' Haley said smiling fondly at the memory.

'Tonight reminded me of that.' Nathan said as he left a gentle kiss on her head.

'You know you should stay and enjoy a few drinks with the guys if you want, I think I'm going to sneak away.' She said softly then.

Nathan yawned then as he glanced down at her. 'I'm actually beat I'm gonna go straight to bed, that's if you're not sick of me and actually want me to stay down here?

Haley just gave him a playful shove. 'I could never be sick of you.' She teased.

Haley sighed to herself as she plopped down onto the bed before glancing over at Nathan. He was lying outside the bed, his shirt all crumpled and she could tell he was already drifting off into a deep sleep.

'Nathan…' She said as she shook him a little. She knew if he passed out here that was it for the night and she didn't want to be under the covers with him on the outside. 'Nathan..' She said a little louder, she knew what he was doing, he was ignoring her because he didn't want to wake up and move.

'Natey…' She teased.

'Don't call me that.' He grumbled sleepily with his eyes clothed.

'You need to get under the covers, you don't want to fall asleep like that.' She reasoned and rolled her eyes when he didn't even respond.

'Suit yourself.' She said as she tugged on the comforter under his body ignoring his grumbling as she pulled it out enough so that he wasn't completely pulling the blankets down on her side.

Haley quickly slipped her dress off grabbing one of Nathan's comfy tees because they were so much nicer than her pjs and smiled to herself knowing he would be pissed about this in the morning. She did it all the time so it's not like he'd be surprised however, his reaction was always the same.

She slipped under the sheets then and turned on her side to face him and she really looked at him. Nothing had changed, she always knew he was in good shape so that hadn't just changed overnight. She always liked his tallness, it made her feel safe. He was so handsome, always had been .

Yea nothing had changed so why was her body reacting a little odd today, this was her best friend and the thought of being involved with him romantically well it really just made her laugh. Obviously it was the nerves around the whole thing heightened with her feeling a little on edge over being touchy feely with him that was sending her body into overdrive.

Haley needed to get it together, this was just ridiculous.

She gave these thoughts enough attention tonight to warrant them as irrational and actually plain stupid. In fact it was probably something she could bring up to her best friend when all this was said and done and they could actually laugh about it.

Haley smiled at that as she glanced over at Nathan one more time.

Her Nathan. Nothing had changed, he was the same, she was the same and after all…they only had a few more days of this pretence and then everything could go back to normal.

**So some things from Nathan and Haley's past will come clear as the story progresses, they've no history beyond friendship as such but things that happened to them and decisions they made when they were younger will be an important part of the plot later on **** Please review and let me know what you think. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Back with an update, thank you so so much for your reviews/messages on this story so far I'm glad yous are enjoying it. **

**Chapter 4**

'So how is the ruse going?' Brooke said rather amused as she finally got a hold of Haley. 'You know I was trying to get through to you two and Nathan doesn't event seem to have his phone turned on'

'Yea well things have been a little hectic Brooke.' Haley said as she balanced the phone between her ear and her shoulder while filling up the coffee cup.

'You know I'm only kidding with you and I'm needy and mad for gossip.'

Haley just scoffed. 'There is no gossip.'

'Come on how bad it is or knowing you two you act so couplie sometimes I'm sure it hasn't been that hard at all?'

'Trust me after these last few days we don't act couplie in our normal lives.'

'Oh this has got to be good…what happened?' Brooke squealed.

Haley just rolled her eyes even though Brooke couldn't even see her. 'Nothing really, it's just weird and then of course we've got my mom gushing over us every second.'

Brooke giggled. 'I'm sure that's a ton of fun. At least you have each other right?'

'Yea.' Haley smiled. 'Nate has been great in fairness.'

'Well good because there has been a minor change in plans…'

'Okaay.' Haley said apprehensively.

'Instead of us coming out for the 6 days we can only make the weekend Haley..'

'Oh..' Haley said a little disappointed. 'That's ok I guess a week was pushing it anyway.'

'Really it's only 2 extra days alone with your fam and me and Lucas will be there.'

'That's fine…you sound worried.' Haley said as the lift doors opened and she walked towards their hotel room.

Brooke laughed a little then. 'Honestly I was afraid you were going to blow up on me.'

Haley laughed back through the phone. 'Brooke whether you were coming out or not we were going to be here anyway.'

'Yea I kinda knew you two would be ok.'

Haley smiled at that. 'Ok so just text me the flight details and we will work around it?' She said as she came through the door noticing Nathan sitting up on the bed flicking through the tv channels. She sent him a smile handing him his coffee as she sat on the edge of the bed.

'Perfect, I can't wait for a long weekend in paradise…just three more days with this whole charade Hales you think you can do it?'

'Well we survived the wedding so what could be worse than that?' She joked rhetorically.

'Hang in there girlie and have some fun. Tell Nathan I said hi.'

'Brooke says hi.' Haley said as she hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed beside her. She sat up crossing her legs facing him then as she practically inhaled her first sip of coffee. 'So Brooke and Lucas aren't coming tomorrow they have to wait until the weekend.'

'Really? Why?' Nathan wondered.

Haley just shrugged. 'I didn't even ask she was actually a little worried I'd be really upset about it.'

'Are you?' Nathan asked then.

'Not too much we will still get to see them it's just I was looking forward to having a scapegoat from all the madness.'

'What about that boat trip Quinn and Clay were on about?'

'The one Taylor and Owen are also on board…no thank you.'

'Well its make the most of it and go on a mini cruise for a few days or stay here in this hotel with your mom and dad and the rest of the family.'

'Yea but I said no to that ages ago, they'll hardly have space…besides it's definitely not a cruise Nathan, more of a yacht.' Haley said rather amused.

'There's a mini bar on board right?' He joked to which Haley rolled her eyes knowing where he was going with this. 'So it's a cruise.' Nathan said.

'I dunno.' Haley said as she took another sip of her coffee. 'It means more days of playing the perfect couple.'

'Which we would be doing here with your parents..'

'Yea but we'd be on a yacht Nathan it's hard to get a moment like this to ourselves where we can just be us..'

'Everyone else will be so wrapped up in what they're doing they won't even notice; I think the hard part of all this is behind us with the wedding over.' Nathan said and he noticed the corners of Haley's mouth twitching a little. 'You want to go on the boat don't you?'

'It would be kind of fun.' She admitted biting her lip.

'And that's exactly what we need, it's like a little present to ourselves for surviving this shit storm.' Nathan teased.

'It's not over yet you know, we still have the afterparty to get through tonight.'

Nathan just nodded. 'So you say it to Quinn today, you're meeting them for lunch right?'

'Yea and we all have to wear white to honour the bride.' Haley said so unenthusiastically.

Nathan just chuckled. 'Well I'm joining some of the guys for golf so I guess we can meet back here later.' Nathan said before he noticed Haley scoff and put her hand to her mouth. 'What's so funny?' Although he knew exactly what she was laughing about.

'I'm sorry….I'm just picturing you playing golf.' She couldn't get her words out she was finding it so funny.

'I play sports what's so crazy about me playing golf?'

'It's just not you Nate, the little golf outfit….just everything.' Haley said wiping the tears from her eyes. 'Besides the fact you'll find it way to boring, you like fast-paced sports.'

Nathan huffed then a little annoyed by how amused she was by all of this. 'You think you know me? Well I've played golf before and I actually liked it.'

'Oh I know everything about you and mini golf doesn't count.'

'No real golf..'

'Oh you mean that trip you went on with Dan that you came home early from cause you hated it so much!' Haley goaded with a twinkle in her eye.

Nathan knew she was right. He didn't enjoy golf at all. 'I don't like you very much right now.'

'You love me.' Haley joked then as she pinched his knee.

Nathan bolted up. 'Oww I told you not to do that Hales, that shit hurts.'

Haley just chuckled as she hopped off the bed before he could retaliate. 'You're such a whimp Scott.'

'Whatever James…I'm not the one who rode a bike with stabilisers until I was like thirteen.

Haley turned around at him playfully opening her mouth in shock. 'Well that was your fault because the first time I went without them you pushed me.'

'Whatever you were such a whimp.'

'Yea well you look like crap.' Haley shot out before he heard the bathroom door close.

Nathan just chuckled as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and realised Haley wasn't far wrong as he was still in his clothes from last night and his hair was standing on his head.

**XXXXX**

'Well sis, you look very fresh this afternoon?' Quinn commented as Haley dropped down on the chair beside her in a white denim skirt with white a one shoulder style top, her blonde waves were tossed back in a messy up do.

Haley smiled. 'Yea we kinda snuck out.' She said it so casually not even picking up on what those words meant, after all she was so used to her friends completely accepting that her and Nathan snuck away from things all the time.

'I'll bet.' Quinn winked as Haley blushed and she didn't even know why she did because it really wasn't like that.

'Oh no…whatever you're thinking no.' Haley put a stop to it right away.

'What you saying you still haven't given it up?' Quinn teased. 'I get all this about really waiting for the right guy sis but in case you haven't noticed Nathan is the one.'

'Little deep Quinnie for 2 o clock in the day.'

'Oh I see his avoidance tactics are rubbing off on you.'

Haley just glared at her.

'Ok I won't mention it again but I can't wait until you two do it, like that's years of pent up feelings and emotions right there….god.' Quinn was just excited thinking about it.

Haley didn't even want them images to crop up in her head but somehow they automatically were and it was damn right disturbing. This was her best friend she was thinking about, it was just wrong. Damn Quinn and her big mouth.

'I actually think it will be a let-down, you've waited so long for sex it just builds it up to much.' Taylor said catching wind of their conversation as he joined her two sisters.

'Maybe for some people but not Nathan and Haley there's so much history there.' Quinn retaliated. 'It will be explos..'

'Ok can we not talk about my sex life? Please?'

'you're lucky because today I want to keep the topic of conversation on otherwise I wouldn't let you off the hook so easily.'

'Jeez thanks Taylor.' Haley quipped.

'So how glorious was my wedding?' Taylor said then as she crossed her arms and smirked at the two girls in front of her.

'It was magical Tay.' Haley said actually trying to be nice.

'I know.' She mused. 'But it's not over yet girls, we've got the afters tonight and then a few days out on the yacht and then the honeymoon..' She said dreamily.

'Speaking of the yacht can me and Nathan come along?'

'Yess you've changed your mind!' Quinn squealed.

'Sure but there's not a whole lot of space, me and Owen have the double room, there's only two other twins.'

'A twins perfect.' Haley shot out realising then how that sounded. 'I mean we can just shove the beds together right?'

Taylor just crinkled her eyebrows at her smirking. 'Sure.'

Haley actually felt herself getting excited for this now, even better her and Nathan didn't have to share a bed, they would have their own bit of space especially as he was such a bed hog and she had to thump his arm and leg multiple times last night when it came in her direction.

'So that settles that, what about tonight? What's happening?'

'Basically the hotel puts on an couples entertainment night every second Wednesday, we thought it be the perfect after party and we can relax a bit, no organising needed.'

'Sounds like fun.' Quinn said as Haley nodded in agreeance.

'Sure thing and I'll make sure everyone knows we are newlyweds, hell we might even get on stage.' Taylor said confidently and Haley held back the eye roll, of course there was a reason this event was chosen for their afters party.

**XXXXX**

'You ok?' Nathan said as he leaned over and whispered in Haley's ear, he was seated at a round table with Quinn, Clay, Haley's cousin Jeremy and his partner as well as another couple that were related to Taylor's husband.

Nathan was relived figuring they had got the good seats tonight seen as they dodged sitting amongst Haley's parents and Taylor and Owen but Haley seemed to be as agitated and uptight as ever.

'I'm fine, that bitch is just asking for it.'

'What happened to having fun?' Nathan said as he thought back to their little pep talk in their hotel room an hour ago. 'Don't let her do that to you Hales.' Nathan said softly when he noticed Haley was actually visibly upset by all of this.

'Do I have a small head?'

'What?' Nathan just chuckled at her and then noticed she was actually very serious. _Oh god._

'No you've a lovely head.'

'You would say that you're my best friend, you have to say that.'

'No I don't I told you that you have ugly feet you know that?'

He smiled then when he noticed the hint of a smirk on Haley's face but she held it back.

'Am I fat?' Haley said then.

'God no Hales you're not fat!' Nathan said completely flabbergasted that she could think that about herself.

There moment was interrupted then as a very enthusiastic guy stepped up the mic. 'Ok a little birdie told me that we have newlyweds in the house tonight..' Before he even called their names Taylor was standing up just waiting for everyone to gush over her. Haley just shook her head.

'So get on up here…' The man called out enthusiastically as the crowd erupted around them.

'Ok what other couples think they can take on our newlyweds tonight?' The man said into the mic as he flaunted about the stage pointing fingers at the crowd.

Haley tossed back the rest of her champagne in one gulp and she practically pulled Nathan out of his chair sending him stumbling behind her.

'We will.' Haley shouted out as she dragged a completely heedless Nathan behind her.

'Haley….what?' He whispered harshly as she didn't let her grip on them go. Damn for such a petite thing she sure could be rough.

'Wahey and we have our second couple in the house tonight, come up on stage..'

Haley bounded up with a smug smirk at her sister as Nathan came behind her shaking his head, he actually couldn't believe she was doing this.

'And what are your names?'

'I'm Haley and this is my boyfriend, Nathan.'

Nathan would have laughed at he not being under the spotlight, this had to be the most assured she ever was in their pretend roles.

'Nice touch.' He said sarcastically in her ear.

Yea I thought so.' Haley smirked.

'Now have we a third couple in the house tonight…'

Eventually two more couples took to the spotlight and the eight of them were pushed behind the curtain for the intermittence as they got the stage ready.

'Are you out of your mind?' Nathan whispered harshly as he pulled Haley away from the other couples.

'What? I'm showing her once and for all that she isn't getting centre stage for once.'

'Impeccable timing Haley, this isn't exactly what I meant by don't let Taylor dim your light.' Nathan spewed with an eye roll.

'What harm can it do, you're the one who said we need to have a little fun, here.' Haley said as she practically shoved an abandoned champagne glass backstage towards Nathan's mouth.

'Again not exactly what I meant.' Nathan huffed swallowing the champagne regardless, heck if they were going to do this he needed something in his system.

'Come on we will laugh about this for years; it'll be like that time we did the school play and we played Mary and Joseph.' Haley teased then softening a little.

'Yea and in case you don't remember I hated that school play and I hate going up on stage.' Nathan said running his hand through his hair. 'You do realise we are going up there as a couple right? What are we even gonna have to do?'

'Oh relax it's all platonic, it's a show for god's sake they're not going to have us stripping off.' Haley said rather amused at Nathan's fluster over this, usually she would be the one in a fluster, guess the need to knock Taylor off her pedestal a little won out over everything.

'I can't believe you're the one telling me to relax.' Nathan huffed out.

'Look if it gets too much we just quit!' Haley reasoned.

'You quitting…against Taylor?' Nathan said giving her that look that meant not a fricking chance in hell.

'If it involves groping my best friend then yes.'

'Fine.' Nathan said as Haley punched him playfully in the arm.

'Come on we can totally do this, we're in it together right?'

Just then the overly enthusiastic and annoying announcer's voice attacked their eardrums as he called them all out on stage.

'Bold move sis, try not to fade into the background like you usually do.' Taylor winked. Haley went to grab her only Nathan pulled her back by the hips. 'Oh it's so on!' Haley shouted back.

The four couples stood in their various places on the stage as the announcer told them and the audience what the first task entailed. Haley gulped as she met Nathan's gaze as the directions were explained to them. Between the two of them they had to pass the coconut that was resting between both their tummies up their bodies without using their hands and without it dropping.

'Purely platonic right?' Nathan goaded this time and he found himself actually enjoying the dread emancipating off Haley right now.

'Whatever, if you think I'm going to quit not a chance.'

Nathan just chuckled. 'Just don't let that coconut fall near my dick..'

'Eww..' Haley admonished at his crudeness. 'Well don't put it near my boobs and we're good.'

'No offence Hales it kinds of has to pass there.'

Haley just rolled her eyes. 'At least it stays between our mouths.'

'True.' Nathan smirked just as the buzzer sounded and each couple got to work.

Nathan and Haley shuffled awkwardly against one another trying to drive the coconut up.

'Ok….stay still and let me just bring it up to you.' Nathan said with pure concentration as he shuffled the ball up towards Haley's chest.

'Oh god I'm going to be scarred for life.' Haley muttered as the ball was semi resting and falling between her breasts.

'Haley watch it you're not concentrating..' Nathan fumbled as he pushed in closer to her afraid the ball was going to drop and they would lose it completely.

'Use every crevice you can..' The annoying announcer teased.

'Oh shut up.' Haley muttered. 'Will you stop pushing against me like that?' She grimaced then.

'Well if you'd keep the ball up there I wouldn't..'

'Wait…I got, it, I got it, I got it…' Haley said as she practically used her boobs to shimmy the coconut all the way up Nathan's chest.

'WOOOOO…' The crowd shouted as everyone heard one couple's coconut smash to the floor.

'Please say that's Taylor's' Haley mumbled as they paused with the coconut between them.

'Afraid not.' Nathan mumbled as they continued to shimmy the coconut up between them. Nathan was leaning back slightly now as Haley pushed it up his neck. 'Damn you being so tall.' She mumbled.

'Little close there Hales…' Nathan mumbled as he felt the coconut on his neck.

'Wanna trying helping me out?' She fought back.

'Honestly I'm afraid to move..' Nathan chuckled and she felt his laugh vibrating against her. Haley giggled along with him then. 'This is crazy..'

'OH OH OH…..our newlyweds nearly have it….'

'Dammit…'Haley mumbled.

'Ok shuffle…' Nathan said then as he moved his neck to the side so she could bring it closer to his face.

'What the hell do you mean shuffle?'

'Just move the coconut over Haley and I'll turn..'

Haley started to roll it with her mouth as Nathan turned and grabbed the side of it as they held it between them and begun to slowly stand up straight.

'Oh and we have a tie…' The man shouted zealously as Haley, Nathan, Taylor and Owen all got the coconut up at the same time.

'That was awesome.' He roared through the mike as the crowd applauded. 'Ok three couples go through to round two.'

Nathan and Haley dropped the coconut then and just laughed at each other. 'I guess that was kinda fun.' He shrugged and Haley just shook her head. 'I can't believe we did that in front of a crowd of people.'

'Ok you lovely couples ready for round 2?'

The whole crowd erupted again.

'In this round your partner will be blindfolded and you have to get them into a particular sex position without telling them what it is…' The man said teasingly as a series of ohhs and ahhs came from the crowd.

Haley felt her cheeks burning up, this was soo embarrassing.

'What happened to the oh relax its all platonic Hales?' Nathan teased

She couldn't believe he was actually enjoying this. 'You want to do this?'

'Yea the men get to wear the blind folds so at least one of us won't be scarred for life.' He countered smugly as he watched Taylor put on Owens's blind fold.

Haley begrudgingly took the blindfold from the announcer and tugged it roughly around Nathan's head.

'Try not to poke my eye out.' Nathan argued.

'Ok ladies turn around your card and go, you have 1 minute to get you and your partner into the position.'

'You've got to be kidding me!' Haley groaned as she turned the card around and saw the image for cowgirl.

'What? What is it?'

'I can't tell you that's the whole pint of this, just lie down…'

'Where?'

'Where you are, dammit Nathan we've already lost twenty seconds.'

'I can't see a thing Haley.' He mumbled as he went to lay down.

'And we have 20 seconds on the clock!'

Haley panicked then as she all but climbed over Nathan quickly getting into position.

'Jesus Christ Haley.' He shot out as she practically grinded down on his dick just as the buzzer signalled.

'And we have a winner for the quickest time this round, our newlyweds.' Taylor threw her hands up in the air squealing before sending her little sister a smug smile.

'Course she'd win this round its practically her career.' Haley spat out bitterly as Nathan tugged the blind fold off.

'Ok let's see which other couple will join our newlyweds in the finale. Boys hand those blindfolds over to your lassies.'

'Just great even after you practically climb all over me we still didn't get in.'

'Hey, do you know how disturbing that was for me?'

'I'm sure I'm about to experience it.' Nathan quipped back as he helped Haley put the blindfold over her eyes.

'Ok you guys you know the drill once you turn that card around you have 60 seconds to get into the position.'

The buzzer went and Nathan quickly turned the card around chuckling. Well this was going to be fun.

'Nathan why are you laughing?' Haley muttered nervously.

He turned her around then. 'Hands and knees.' Nathan said then and Haley just stood there limp. 'Down on your hands and knees Hales.' He panicked when he noticed 40 seconds left on the clock.

'Ok…god you could be a little clearer.

Not giving her any more instruction then Nathan got down behind her pushing her legs apart and pulling himself up close behind her.

'And we have a clear winner….' The guy said pointing towards Nathan and Haley. 'You two are through to the final round.'

Nathan pulled away then as Haley tugged the blindfold off before he held out his hand to her and pulled her up.

She smiled sheepishly at him then and he wanted to laugh at how embarrassed she was but saved it knowing now was not the time to embarrass her further, besides he just wanted to move swiftly along from this game and never think about it again.

'Ok are we ready to crown our couple of the night?' The crowd all erupted in cheers clearly they had gotten a lot more drunk since Nathan and Haley had first stepped up onto the stage.

'Our final round will be the kiss of death…' The man said in a low, moody voice through the mic.

Both Nathan and Haley actually froze as those words sent their blood cold.

'Ok let's see which of our couples can kiss the longest, you'll have to use all the tactics in the book but you can't break the kiss, once you do it's over…now let's get our newlyweds back out here.'

'Don't choke now sis.' Taylor snipped as she stepped out behind the curtain again.

'No…' Nathan immediately said shaking his head. 'I'm calling forfeit on this one…'

'If we forfeit everyone is going to know we're not really together….' Haley mumbled.

'You really want to take Taylor down that much that you're going to go through with this?' Nathan mumbled back heatedly.

'Ok couples it's time to start taking in some deep breaths…'

'Look we can make this as painless as possible with absolutely no tongue…' Haley said then actually grimacing at the thought of it.

'They'll be able to tell.'

'What does it matter? I can't have your tongue anywhere near my mouth or I'll throw up.'

'Well maybe you should have thought about that before you dragged me up here to…'

All too soon the buzzer sounded as the crowd wooed and Haley quickly captured Nathan's lips mid conversation as he stumbled back before steadying himself. The kiss started off rather reluctant and hesitant.

'Oh our newlyweds here are completely ravaging each other, get these two a room.' The guy announced before he glanced towards Nathan and Haley.'Aw this couple are taking it nice and slow….come on guys give us a little more than that, it's not your high school prom.' The crowd erupted in cheers at that egging them on.

Haley felt her temper flare at that stupid announcer's words not even noticing how Nathan's hands wrapped around her waist then as he pulled her flush against him, she involuntarily groaned against him feeling her body betray her as she moulded into him.

'Now that's more like it…we're past one minute on the clock and it looks like our newlyweds are still going at it hot damn….and our couple over here things are starting to heat up..'

Nathan was losing himself, he could feel it, what started off reluctantly and rather awkwardly was quickly growing in passion and as he heard Haley groan against him he all but lost it and all sense of himself and what he wasn't supposed to do as his tongue involuntarily snaked out and slipped between her lips the moment he felt her mouth slant over his.

He couldn't think straight, in fact he wasn't even thinking rationally anymore as his tongue danced with Haley's and the kiss just grew even more wet and heated, the two moaning simultaneously when they tasted each other. Haley almost keeled over in shock the moment she felt Nathan's tongue slide against hers, she had warned him but as he ravaged her mouth so hotly now she gave into it completely as her hands came up to wrap around his neck tugging at his thick, raven hair. Haley knew deep down inside of her somewhere she should be revolted, she should have wanted to push him away but the moans he was making as his mouth moved hotly over hers was completely turning her on and she couldn't believe not only was he making them sounds because of her but that she actually liked that he was making them because of her.

Haley felt the need to pull away to catch her breath building up within her, Nathan felt it too but the pair seemed to hold on, the pull to win this stupid competition completely washed out of their minds as the kiss completely consumed them. Yet reality came down on them again like a ton of bricks as the crowd starting chanting some count behind them.

7…8…9…10

The pair pulled apart then their breathing completely staggered as the crowd erupted in cheers around them.

Haley dropped her hands from Nathan's neck in a flash as though she had been burned and he practically pushed her away from him in shock.

'We have a clear winner 3 minutes and 10 seconds, hot dayum!' The guy shouted out through the mic not even noticing the disparity between the pair.

Haley should have been elated especially given the seriously pissed off look on Taylor's face right now who was clearly annoyed. But she actually felt like her body was going into shock, she slowly brought her hand up resting along where her lips still tingled from that kiss, her heart beating wild in her chest. She was waiting to feel it, the ugh feeling she should be feeling having kissed her best friend like that but it never came. _Oh my god, oh oh my god,,_ she began to internally panic before she was broken from her chaotic thoughts as the guy called Taylor and her husband up to claim their prize.

'But first lets gives a round of applause to our newlyweds.'

_What the fuck was that? Why did you…..dammit why did you kiss her like that? What is wrong with you? What the hell?_ Nathan felt scrutinised by his own mind as he tried to come to terms with that the fuck just happened between them. This was all his fault, he just went for it, he didn't even remember a split second during that kiss where the counter argument propped up in his head and told him not to do this or even better told him he didn't want to do it because this was his best friend and the very thought of it should….like Haley had said make him want to throw up. 'Oh god…' Nathan noticed Haley glance at him then before she quickly glanced away and he realised he had actually voiced that thought aloud.

'Ok my couple of the night come up here' The guy announced as Nathan and Haley just stood there as though they were stuck to the ground. 'Oh don't get all shy on me now.' He teased. 'Give them all a cheer guys…come on out here.' The guy pulled Haley to one side then as Nathan awkwardly joined him at the other.

'You have won a dinner for two in our most fancy restaurant and a bottle of champagne on the house tonight!' Nathan and Haley took their prizes and shuffled backstage.

'Who knew little sis was such a dirty kisser?' Taylor commented at Haley.

Nathan took this moment to walk on right past them for some fresh air. He couldn't even look at Haley right now.

'Oh save it Tay, it was just for fun, I was actually going to give this to you anyway.' Haley said as she handed the voucher over to her and pushed past her.

'Haley-bop you little fox.' Quinn teased as Haley joined them at their table where Nathan was sitting with a beer. She felt an unfamiliar, unsettling feeling, one she had never felt around her best friend before and it carried a strong message that they had just made a very big mistake.

'Seriously I did not expect that from you.'

'Someone had to show Taylor.'

'Oh I'm not talking about; I'm talking about you two mauling each other on stage…Haley you barely peck on the lips in public what was in that champagne?' Quinn joked.

'Excuse me.' Nathan muttered as he got up and left the table with not so much as a glance in their direction.

'Oh my god is Nate actually embarrassed?' Quinn goaded and Haley almost flinched hearing that familiar, platonic nickname fall from Quinn's mouth that all of a sudden felt very, very wrong.

'No. I think he's just annoyed with Taylor; she said some things when we got off stage.'

'Don't heed her Hales, she should be cheering you too on.'

'Yea. I'm pretty sure she is going to through me overboard tomorrow.' Haley mumbled as she glanced in the direction Nathan left in seeing no sight of him anywhere.

She sighed softly, maybe if he just disappeared for a while they could forget this? But who was she kidding? She was most likely delaying the most awkward encounter they were about to have _ever._

Haley begrudgingly walked towards their hotel room semi hoping Nathan was in here because then she wouldn't have to worry about where he disappeared to but also cowardly hoping he was not because then she wouldn't have to deal with humungous elephant in the room

She stallingly slipped her key card in the door walking quietly into the darkened room before she noticed him huddled on his side in the bed. She smiled despite the circumstances because she would have been worried had he not being here at near 3am. Haley had effectively distracted herself for the last 3 hours with the girls, she knew she was putting off coming up here until the last possible minute.

Hale sighed softly as she dropped her bag on the bed and leaned back against the headboard.

She felt her throat dry up; her stomach tighten as Nathan turned around from where he was laying on his side to his back.

'You're awake..' Haley whispered softly as she swallowed hard.

'You know I can never fall asleep until I know your safe.'

She closed her eyes feeling her heart clench, he was her bestest friend, her rock, there was no way some silly kiss which really was part of some stubborn, competitive game was going to destroy them.

'I'm an idiot.' Nathan admitted then and he glanced at Haley confused when he heard her chuckle lowly. He half expected her to come in shouting at him for sticking his tongue down her throat , actually he expected her to be angry at him but she was oddly calm.

Haley caught his curious look. 'Funny, I was just thinking the same thing as I came up here.' She met his eyes then and none of the awkwardness that was there between them on the stage immediately after the kiss surrounded them now and it was like a break in the clouds, everything felt normal, best friends., side by side, maybe this wasn't ruined. Maybe they were both completely over-reacting!

'It's my fault if I wasn't so persistent on annoying Taylor none of this would have happened, I can't believe I stooped to her level.' Haley muttered.

Nathan accepted her words, they made sense but it was him that stuck his tongue down her throat after she warned him not too. Wasn't that like breaking the rule of friendship or more like obliterating the whole code? It certainly felt like it. Nevertheless he couldn't bring himself to actually say those words to Haley because to do that would have him or maybe them both replaying that kiss in their heads and he refused to do that.

'I made it worse.' Nathan admitted then into the dark room.

Haley felt her cheeks flame up as the images evaded her mind, it was all so fresh, the taste of him, the sounds he made. _Fuck, stop it, you can't go there. This is Nathan, your Nate, you call him Scott for god's sake. This should gross you out._

'It was just a kiss right for some stupid competition?' Nathan said then when he was met with silence. The words sounded hollow even to him but he would repeat it a hundred times if he had to before he went to sleep that night so his mind would internalise it as just that and nothing else.

'Yea, we're both just two stubborn, I'm so competitive and you always like to win…'

Nathan chuckled at that although it was rather forced. 'Recipe for disaster.'

She knew that laugh was forced she could tell it a mile off, she'd heard that laugh from him a lot in the last few days amongst her family but never for her. That thought saddened her a little but she clung onto the fact that no awkwardness seemed to hang in the air around them and aside from the fact that they had kissed tonight, things between them actually seemed to be pretty normal.

Haley hoped they could just put this behind them and things would be ok in the morning.

Nathan turned around then back into the position he had been lying in and Haley pulled herself up from the bed peeling off her clothes as she slipped his t-shirt around her petite frame. She huddled into the bed then as she just stared at his back facing her.

'Night Nathan.' She whispered softly just needing to reach out to him for reassurance one last time.

'Night Hales.' He whispered back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Back with an update and it's a long one, enjoy! Thanks for all the feedback on this story so far. **

**Chapter 5 **

Nathan came into the hotel room running the towel across his face breathing heavily, he noticed Haley shuffling with breakfast stuff at the coffee table and smiled. 'You ordered in?'

Haley hopped up then giving him a shy smile. 'Yea figured a break from the family breakfasts would do us both good this morning.' She said and it wasn't entirely a lie but there was no way she was going down for breakfast and having them bring up their whole showpiece on stage last night. _Not a chance in hell._

'Where'd you go?' Haley said then as Nathan started untying his lacers.

'Just around the estate lands.' He huffed out. 'I need to shower.'

'Yea you stink.' Haley mused.

'Inventive Hales.' Nathan quipped back as he smiled at her.

'Yea it took me a while to think of that one.'

He just chuckled then smiling at her as he watched her fuss over the breakfast stuff. He really was so lucky to call her his best friend, he should have trusted and known how Haley would handle the silliness that was the kiss on stage last night so well. He ran off like a coward when he should have known that things between them were going to be fine.

It was _just_ a kiss for a silly competition and their friendship was protected because of that very fact; it was for the competition. He was pretty sure they would look back on this and have a good laugh about it.

'You're great you know that?' Nathan said then as he kicked his shoes off and got his stuff ready for the shower.

'If you're saying this because you want that almond croissant you can rethink your tactics.'

Nathan chuckled. 'No I'm saying this because I shouldn't have left you last night..'

'Oh I actually enjoyed the break from you I even got some attention from some Italian stallions.' Haley joked.

'I'll bet.' Nathan teased back.

'Besides it was just a competition right if anything we've really won them over that we are together now so maybe it has worked in our favour.'

'When you look at it that way.' Nathan shrugged. 'I didn't even get to enjoy Taylor's reaction, how bad was it?'

'Oh I thought he was going to deck that announcer guy.' Haley mused.

'He was really annoying.' Nathan reasoned.

'True.' Haley said and the two caught each other's eyes for a moment.

Nathan looked away then clearing his throat. 'Right I'm going to get in the shower don't start without me.'

'Hurry your ass up then, I want my croissant!' Haley called out as she watched him go. She smiled, everything between them was going to be just fine.

**XXXXX**

Haley dropped her towel down on the deck of the yacht beside Taylor. They had left a little over and hour ago now and were going to sailing off the coast of Italy for three days, spending a day in both Elba and Sicily with a final overnight stop in Amalfi.

'You know we originally planned this to be our honeymoon?' Taylor said as she lifted her sunglasses off her head glancing at Haley.

'This is so like a honeymoon if you took the yacht alone, how do you plan on topping this?' Haley said rather amused.

'Paris.' Taylor simply answered. 'Cliché I know.'

'You never struck me as a Paris girl.' Haley joked grateful for the reprieve between them the past few hours.

'I guess Owen brings out the delicate lover in me.'

'Oh god.' Haley said.

'What? I bet Nathan totally brings out the wildcat in you like he'd make you want to do very bad things.'

'If you mean bad things like wanting to throw my sister overboard then yea.' Haley quipped.

'You were always such a sarcastic little witch.' Taylor joked.

'And you were always such a bitch.' Haley tossed back as the two girls actually laughed for a change.

'Do you ever notice we seem to get along better without mum around?'

'Sometimes I guess.' Haley admitted honestly.

'What's that about?'

'I know mom doesn't mean it but she has this way of pitching us against each other to live up to this ridiculous self-image of our family she has created.'

'I know it seems like I love that whole self-image and public attention like mom does but..'

'Come on Tay you've always loved the spotlight…' Haley said softly.

'Well yea who am I kidding.' Taylor smirked. 'But what I mean is that's all I can live up to in mom's eye, being in the spotlight like that having the lavish parties.'

'What do you mean?'

'I'm not like you little sis, I was never sensible enough to settle down and work hard and get the good career. This wedding, it was my big moment, my big shot to make mum proud of me. You know you're the youngest but I've always felt like I had to live up to you'

'Taylor you could have any career you want, it's not about sense it's about working hard and going after what you want. It's never too late you know.'

Taylor just smiled then. 'Or for you sis.'

Haley laughed at that. 'After last night I'm pretty sure I'll never hog the spotlight off you again.'

'It is kind of funny looking back.' Taylor mused. 'I was such a bitch last night but holy hell you two 3 minutes and ten seconds…..ye are obviously reaping the benefits of this more than friends relationship.' Taylor goaded then.

Haley felt the anxiousness settle in her tummy, her heart pounding, she didn't want to be reminded of that kiss again.

'What was your first kiss like actually….was it awkward or?'

'It was kind of like last night.' Haley admitted softly as she swallowed hard.

'Nice.' Taylor smirked as she popped her sunglasses back on her eyes and Haley let out a sigh of relief as she didn't prod her any further on it. The girls lied there in silence for the longest time before Haley spoke up again.

'you know it's all appearances Tay, things aren't always as they seem.'

'What do you mean?'

'It may seem like I have it together and yea I told mom that I have potential jobs lined up but the truth is I haven't even properly applied for many yet….I'm just feeling a little lost.;

'sometimes that's no harm.' Taylor said then. 'sounds crazy right but I think you need to feel a little lost and confused at times to gain clarity again, it's life right?'

'I guess.' Haley said quietly.

'And not all of us have a Nathan to come home to.' Taylor said softly. 'I've been so lucky to find Owen but that boy Haley, I've seen him with you since you were kids, a love like that doesn't come around often.'

Haley swallowed hard, her throat feeling extremely dry at her words and she felt her heart almost leap out of her chest as that very person came up beside them.

'You two not pinching or pulling each other's hair that's a first.' Nathan teased as he sat down beside where Haley was laid out. 'Damn the wood is hot. Hales give us some of your towel.'

'No bring your own towel out.' Haley scoffed.

'Come on…my feet are burning.'

Owen walked out then and came around the other side of Taylor.' Hey baby.' He said as he leaned in and pecked her on the lips.

'Dammit Nathan..' Haley spat out as he practically pulled the lower half of the towel from under her putting it under the soles of his feet.

'Now my feet are going to burn.' Haley said actually annoyed with him.

'Stop making a big deal of it and just rest your feet here.'

Haley rolled her eyes as she rested her feet across his ankles so they were also on the towel.

Nathan felt his body react a little oddly as Haley's bare legs rubbed across him, suddenly he felt a sense of anticipation build within him that he couldn't understand.

'So I was thinking when we dock near Sicily tomorrow the four of us could go out for a fancyish dinner.' Taylor offered.

Haley turned to face Taylor. 'That sounds nice.'

Shaking his head trying to clear the fog he almost groaned out when Haley shifted her body to face Taylor, her smooth legs gliding against his.

Fuck. The groan that was building inside of him freaked him out and Nathan bolted up harshly.

'Oww…what the hell Nathan?' Haley admonished him as he almost kicked her legs off him.

Nathan didn't even apologise he was completely frazzled.

'Perfect.' Taylor said as she propped herself up not heeding what the two of them were play fighting about now. 'You two coming for a dip or what?'

'We're just going to chill here for a bit.' Nathan said.

'Suit yourselves.' Taylor replied as she grabbed Owen's hand and the two went over to the edge of the boat.

'Well are you going to sit down or stand there and look at me like I've suddenly grown three heads?' Haley teased as she watched him, he was looking at her as though he was trying to figure out something.

Nathan shook his head before he sat down on Taylor's towel the other side of Haley.

He could feel her gaze on him, fuck, she knew he was acting weird he needed to cop himself on. 'so you and Taylor made up after 23 years.' Nathan said amused with himself.

'Shut up.' Haley retorted bumping shoulders with him.

'You know I'm messing with you Hales, I was afraid to say it out loud but I thought she was being a bit nicer..'

'There's no excuse for some of the nasty things she said to Quinn and I yesterday but I'm just trying to understand where it's coming from you know just so I'm not carrying around all this frustration.' Haley admitted quietly.

'That's good Hales, I hate seeing you hurt so much.'

Haley just sent him a soft smile as she glanced at him before looking back at the ocean in front of them

'Do you think mum will ever be proud of me Nathan…like will it ever be enough?' Haley quietly admitted then as she tugged with the string of her bikini.

'Haley…' Nathan said almost defeatedly. 'Hey…look at me.' She met his gaze biting her lip. 'How could she not be? I know she doesn't exactly show it in the best way but she is Haley and even if she weren't you need to stop letting Lydia control how you see yourself, you're so much more than this unrealistic vison of the world Lydia seems to hold over your head.'

Haley just smiled at him actually feeling the tears prickle her eyes. 'How do you always know what to say?'

Nathan just smiled back as he threw his arm over her shoulder pulling her into him, all his previous weirdness forgotten. He really wished Haley didn't place so much of her self-worth in her mother's hands, it seemed to an extent all of the girls did and he couldn't understand how Lydia had such a force over them maybe more so in their adult lives.

'You're missing her a lot lately I can feel it.' Haley admitted so lowly then Nathan wasn't sure if he imagined it or not.

'Everyday.' Nathan said swallowing thickly.

'She would be so proud of you, you know that?'

Nathan found he couldn't even find the words to respond.

'I miss her too.' Haley said softly then just letting that sit with him knowing he always struggled to speak about her, it never got easier, she wished she could take the pain in his heart away. He hid it well but she knew he carried it every single day.

'She would be proud of you too Haley.' Nathan said then after a few minutes and he left a gentle kiss on her head.

For some unknown reason that kiss tingled more than others ever had.

**XXXXX**

Night was drawing in now as the ocean and the sky merged as one single unity of darkness. Haley could make out the twinkling of lights in the distance as they neared the harbour of Sicily where they would be exploring tomorrow.

Just as Haley turned from the window Quinn and Clay came bounding in giggling. Nathan and Haley both looked towards them questionably.

'Oh.' Quinn muttered grimacing a little. 'Tay didn't tell you?'

'Tell us what?' Haley shrugged as she tossed her hair up into a messy bun.

'We're sharing, all four of us.'

Haley laughed. 'Right, there are two single beds so how is that in all possible?'

'We're just gonna have to get cosy aren't we?' Quinn teased.

'You're kidding right?'

'You mean we're to share that single bed?' Nathan said incredulously as he pointed towards the bed in the corner of the room jacked in against the window.

'I knew that bitch was being nice for a reason.' Haley fumed. 'I'm going to kill her.' She stomped across the room like a girl on a mission before Quinn blocked her.

'Think about it Haley, you two weren't even coming until the day before, we had no rooms left, it's only a small boat…this was our only option. Besides Taylor said you two used to have sleepovers all the time and now you're dating so…' Quinn shrugged as if it was no big deal.

'How the hell are we supposed to fit in there?' Haley reasoned pointing back toward the bed.

'I have like 4 foot on you Haley you can't complain.'

'Oh stop being so dramatic you're not that tall.'

'Well you're tiny.'

'Oookay then…' Clay muttered as the two got completely caught up in their little faff. 'We will be back when you two get over this and we will see you for bed I guess.' He joked flatly as he and Quinn went towards the door.

Haley let out a frustrated sigh as she pulled back the covers and hopped into the bed.

'OH hell no you are not going on the inside Haley.' Nathan argued as he came across the room to the bed.

'Yes I am and I just did.'

'Haley I'm the tallest, let me in on the inside.'

'What does that matter?'

'It's just easier if I'm against the wall.'

Haley just looked at him struggling to make sense of that statement. 'I want to be on the inside.'

Nathan just shook his head at her. 'Why are you so damn stubborn?'

'If I'm on the outside you'll just push me off the bed we both know what you're like.'

'I'm not going to push you off the bed Haley.' Nathan retaliated 'but I might want to.' He mumbled a few seconds later as she just glared at him.

'speaking of if your legs are any other body part even comes close to me you're sleeping on the floor.'

Nathan rolled his eyes as he began undressing. 'You do realise how ridiculous that statement was? It's not like I'll have much room to stay back from you.

'Well I'm in as close to the wall as I can get.' Haley said.

Nathan sighed refusing to fuss over and back anymore with her and begrudgingly slipped under the covers immediately brushing against her. 'God I wish we had bunk beds like we used to.'

That finally got a laugh out of her and he smiled as he pulled the quilt over him.

'You were always afraid to go on top incase you'd fall out; you were such a whuss.' Haley giggled.

Nathan scoffed. 'I was not, you're the smallest, the smallest always goes on top'

'If that's your story.' Haley mused.

Nathan glanced over and shook his head at her, damn her and her petite body. He turned on his side then and couldn't help rubbing up fully against Haley given the pea size amount of space they were given to sleep in.

'Nathan your touching my ass.' Haley mumbled.

'It's not like I want to I'm pulling back as far as I can without falling off the bed Haley.' Nathan said back a little harsher than intended. 'Are you really going to fall asleep like that?' He commented as he watched Haley straighten herself out so she wasn't pushing back against him, it was unnatural how frozen straight she was. He wanted to laugh but knew Haley's wouldn't find any humour in this situation at least not right now.

'Yep, it's quite comfy actually.' Haley said stubbornly.

Thirty minutes had passed as the pair closed their eyes and actually tried to get some sleep until Nathan felt an almighty thump against is leg. 'Jesus Haley…' He let out pissed with her. 'What was that for? I didn't even touch..'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' Haley apologised profusely as she shuffled around in the bed to face him. 'I flinched.'

'you flinched?' He rebutted. 'If you're leg was any higher I would be in a very painful situation right now!'

'Well keep your dick away from me and that won't happen!'

'You think I want to put my…'

'Will you shut up, I don't really want to talk my best friend's dick or any other body part for that matter.

'You started it.'

'Guys can you try keep the foreplay and dirty talk down.' Quinn hushed out teasingly. 'Some of us actually want to get some shut eye.'

Nathan sighed as he leaned up on his elbow assessing the situation. Maybe they would sleep better like this, he could feel Haley looking at him questionably as he shifted up on the bed so his head was resting above hers and he could actually lie relatively comfortable as he rested his head on his elbow. Haley's was too tired to argue anymore and just followed his lead as she rested her head close to his chest in the space he had created. She curled her body into his feeling herself shiver from his touch which confused her; she certainly wasn't cold in the tight space they found themselves in, her whole body shivered and she hoped Nathan hadn't felt it.

**XXXXX**

Haley rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she shifted in the bed whacking back into the wall, she groaned at her clumsiness and then remembered the rather annoying situation they had found themselves in last night. Waking up she noticed Nathan lying flat on his back then practically taking up the whole bed and she smiled despite herself because even in his sleep true to form he had managed to take the entire bed off her and she somehow has ended up sleeping almost on top of him. At least he wasn't awake to bitch her out for that although really it was his fault.

Haley carefully pulled up then not wanting to wake him as she scrambled out of the ridiculously small bed smiling at the sight of Quinn and Clay cuddled together across the room.

She crept up onto the front deck and took in the beauty of the sunrise across the horizon. Walking over to the edge of the deck she glanced out at the calm waters below and just let the stillness of the morning wash over her, it was magical as the colours of the suns ascent cascaded across the water.

Nathan crept up on the deck smirking as he watched Haley pad over to the open gap where the steps led down as she looked over, he had woken up as soon as Haley had awkwardly clambered off that bed, she had always being a clumsy one, he smiled to himself at that and held back the evil chuckle that threatened to escape him at his master plan. Before he completely chickened out he ran up behind Haley grabbing onto her hearing her yelp out as the two of them barrelled into the water below.

Haley game up gasping for air and shivering as the icy cold waters swept through every bone in her body. 'Nat..than..' She shrieked in shock that he had actually gone and done that.

'Nathan's its freezing.' Haley stuttered out as she huddled her arms over herself. 'I can't believe you just did that.' She fumed at him.

He was actually getting himself geared up for a water fight or a retaliation somehow but he could see now that was clearly not going to happen. Nathan couldn't hold back his laughter anymore despite his own body quaking at how cold it was. He started chuckling softly and for some reason it sent a different kind of shiver up hr spine, his laugh was huskier, more gravelly than normal, it sounded different.

'Come here you whimp.' He joked as he rubbed his hands down her arms trying to warm her up.

Everything seemed to shift around them, the once disrupted waters began to level out again and the stillness evaded them , as the current within the waters ceased the current between them only grew in force neither understanding what this sudden static pull that existed between them was asking for.

Nathan's hands which were warming her shoulders slowed down considerably as he rubbed them softly shifting closer towards Haley in the water, Nathan knew he should have looked away, splashed her even like he used to when he got up close to her like this but as he locked his gaze on her brown eyes he saw no playfulness there, in fact he saw something completely unfamiliar, it was a flicker of emotion he'd never seen before and little did he know his own eyes mirrored the same response.

Haley let out a shaky breath then as Nathan's eyes darkened locking in on her, the way he was looking at her, it was almost _unrecognisable_.

It wasn't her Nathan; it wasn't her best friend.

Haley whimpered softly as she felt Nathan pull her closer towards his body in the water, she could practically feel the wet drops from his fringe against her forehead at their close proximity , his breath so warm fanning out across her mouth as he leaned into her…

A heavy splash erupted from behind them completely obliterating the stillness of the morning and that very moment as Clay ran his hand over his face. The water riveted around them then pulling them back to reality as Nathan and Haley pulled away from each other deeply unsettled and confused by what had transpired between them seconds before.

'I see you learned to jump in.' Nathan commented and it surprised him how laced with vexation his tone was, after all clay had just saved him from making a colossal mistake

He had been about to kiss Haley, what the hell was he thinking? Hell he clearly hadn't being thinking and he couldn't even remember the last few seconds it had been like an intense out of body experience, it was like this gravital force within him that just seemed to be pulling him towards her and by no means could he have stopped it despite the dangerous consequences he knew it would have.

'Hey where are you going?' Clay shouted as Haley began to swim back over to the steps.

'Shit.' Nathan mumbled as he noticed Haley climbing back up towards the deck, she was going to sit up there now and obsess over this. He knew his best friend and she would analyse this until she could make some sense out of it and that was the last thing he wanted her to do right now or ever for that matter.

'You proud of me man?' Clay goaded.

Nathan glanced back his way before rolling his eyes.

'Everything alright?' Clay questioned then noticing Nathan seemed a little on edge.

'Its fine.' Nathan snapped out. 'Why wouldn't it be?'

'Chill man you just look a little peaky' Clay defended. 'Did something happen with you two?'

He didn't even know how to answer that, it kind of happened but he was even more unnerved with how annoyed he was because it didn't actually happen, he should be relived and thank Clay for saving his ass right now. how was he going to make this right with Haley? Plead temporarily insanity and blame her family? She always joked that they made her insane right so maybe this was his moment?

'No.' Nathan answered defeated and was grateful when Clay didn't push it. They'd only really gotten to know each other this past week and already he knew Clay was going to be a good friend, he seemed to read him well and knew when to push on things and when to actually hold back.

'So when did you finally jump in?' Nathan asked then trying to redirect his thoughts on anything but this situation with Haley.

'Oh Quinn went skinny dipping the other night.'

Nathan just chuckled at that. 'Makes sense.'

Haley clambered onto the deck shivering as her little kami top and shorts clung to her body, she sighed realising of course she had no towel because he had pushed her in,, glancing down Haley noticed the two of them still in the water and she knew she had to act fast. She didn't want to be here when Nathan got out. she almost laughed at her tactics of escape. 'Not like you can hide anywhere on a yacht Haley.' She muttered to herself.

'I see you still worryingly talk to yourself.' Quinn teased as she came up on the deck tying her yellow halter top around her. She glanced at Haley then noticing something was a little off with her. 'You ok?'

'Fine. Na…Nathan pushed me overboard.' Haley barely got his name out. _Gosh, get a grip on yourself. _

'So what's new with you too fooling around.' Quinn commented before and then saw Haley biting her lip as she trembled a bit.

'You two have a fight or something?' She said as she threw her towel at her sister who was shivering

'No it's not that its….'

'What is it?' Quinn prodded softly; Haley seemed to be completely torn up about something.

'Nothing I think we might need a few hours away from each other.' Haley tried to tease but it actually came out quite the opposite.

'Please…growing up I always wondered how you never got sick of each other.' Quinn said as she came to sit beside Haley. 'He's like the only person you can be around 24/7.'

Haley was just mute and if Quinn wasn't mistaken she noticed Haley cower even more with her words and she couldn't understand it at all. 'Do you need me to have a word with him?' What in the hell had he done to have Haley so shaken up?

'Oh god no…please don't.' Haley all but shot back.

'Ok…I won't'

'It's nothing.' Haley reminded her which only left Quinn even further unconvinced. 'Come on let's get freshened up and will go and get breakfast without the guys, what do you say?' Quinn chirped up then knowing that was exactly what her sister needed.

**XXXXX **

It was hours later when Haley returned from the breakfast that had turned into lunch coupled with strolling around the beautiful historic town that was Sicily, it was just what she needed some alone time with Quinn and she was grateful that she had stayed away from the topic of her best friend. Haley wasn't sure what she needed; if it was the time to think or just the time to distract herself from that weird moment that happened between them this morning.

And just as she came back onto the deck spotting him standing by the railings she realised that despite herself she had missed him today.

'Hey' Nathan said smiling at her as he came up beside Haley.

'You look nice.' Haley commented as she drank him in in his khaki capri pants and navy three quarter length shirt.

He just smiled at her, it wasn't even a hesitant smile like she expected, it was his usual one. That both comforted and alarmed her, how could he remain so aloof after something weird had clearly happened this morning and they both knew they had no pretence to hide behind unless Nathan had somehow spotted Taylor staring out at them through the window which Haley knew not to be true, regretfully so.

'You two have fun?' Nathan said then.

'Yea sorry I didn't say anything we had actually planned to go for breakfast and we just got lost exploring, it's such a beautiful town.'

'You don't need to apologise Hales, I'm glad you had fun.' Nathan said although he couldn't help but wonder if she had been intentionally avoiding him, he knew that it was such a Quinn and Haley thing to do, go off exploring and lose the run of the day ….but the timing just seemed consequential considering the weird moment between them earlier.

And that very moment Nathan had decided was behind him and god he hoped Haley could put it behind them too, he knew it was cowardly but there was no way in hell he could have that conversation with her right now or possibly ever.

He failed to understand it himself and it's not like they rarely found a private moment on this tiny yacht to have such a conversation which was both a blessing and a curse giving their current situation. Maybe the best thing was to actually just brush it under the carpet, maybe there was nothing to it, tensions and emotions had been high these past few days and it was messing with them both.

'So not to dampen your spirits but Taylor has been demanding we leave as soon as you get back.' Nathan said then as he watched Haley slip off her flip-flops and tie her hair back.

'Oh crap the dinner, can you stall her? Just ten minutes.' Haley emphasised; she didn't particularly want to deal with a grouchy Taylor all through dinner either.

Nathan sighed as Haley hurried away, he leaned against the railings of the deck just looking out. He couldn't help but fixate on how horrible timing this all was, they were going to have to behave like a couple out with Taylor and Owen and he really didn't think he was up for it tonight not after earlier.

'Penny for your thoughts.' Quinn said softly as she came over beside Nathan.

Nathan smirked before it quickly dissipated. 'You'd quickly give it back.'

Silence fell between them then before Nathan spoke up again. 'So how'd did you get out of this dinner?'

'Ah…' Quinn said catching on then. 'We had ours with them before the wedding, Haley never mentioned the dinner tonight.'

Nathan wondered what she had actually mentioned.

'But FYI and you probably already know this.' Quinn smiled. 'Two is always better than one coming up against Taylor so whatever happened..'

Nathan looked at Quinn cautiously then.

'Haley didn't say anything to me I just figured something was off but maybe now's the time to make things right.' Quinn smiled .' Oh and good luck.' She teased as she walked back inside.

Make things right? Nathan couldn't help but scoff at that, all he seemed to be good at lately was royally making things worse.

**XXXXX**

The walk from where their yacht had docked to the restaurant was relatively short and filled with silence aside from the general 'that looks nice' and 'did you go in there today' kind of comments between the pair. Nathan and Haley were walking behind Taylor and her husband and they weren't holding hands. Nathan didn't make a move to take Haley's and she certainly didn't grab onto his.

Haley felt relieved when they stepped inside the beautifully adorned Italian restaurant, the waiter led them up a spiral staircase to the top floor where they were seated at an outside table that overlooked the harbour.

'Oh my gosh this is stunning.' Haley gushed as she looked out to where the sunset was emanating a blushful glow only adding to the romantic ambience of the setting. Nathan smiled as he watched her face light up, it was all Haley, the way she gushed and marvelled over the sunset like and not the lavish restaurant itself. Meanwhile, Taylor had already begun to browse the menu seemingly oblivious to their beautiful surrounding. It only marked how different they actually were.

'Hales..' Nathan prodded gently after a few minutes as he opened his own menu.

'Oh…' Haley jumped a little as his hand landed on her arm.

'Sorry..' Nathan said sheepishly and he didn't really know what he was apologising for, was it for merely touching her?

'Oh no…I was zoned out that's all.' Haley said sending him a soft smile.

Nathan smiled back before sharing the menu with her ad they decided what they were going to have.

Nathan and Haley were somehow spared the spotlight on their farce of a relationship as Taylor recounted the story of how her and Owen got together and she went into every detail. That story had taken their entire entree and as they were just finishing up their mains, Nathan realised it had taken the entire main meal too. And for once he wasn't complaining that Taylor was hogging all the spotlight tonight.

'That's something.' Nathan commented as he took a sip of his beer, he hadn't realised Owen had effectively met Taylor in some sort of stripper's club. Haley actually smiled to herself knowing the comments that Nathan really wanted to make but he couldn't. She knew it would be killing him.

'What about you two? Childhood friends so everyone has told me?' Owen commented teasingly then.

Haley's smile vanished as quick as it came and Nathan swallowed tersely.

'Yea ever since this egit hit me with a basketball across the head in the playground.'

'And we still haven't gotten over that.' Nathan quipped back as everyone around the table laughed.

'You got your own back.' Nathan smiled across at Haley then before looking back at the couple in front of him. 'She shoved me, pushed me over and told me if I ever came near her again she'd stab me with her plastic fork.'

'Yea clearly that worked.' Taylor scoffed

'How old were you?' Owen teased.

'7.' Nathan shrugged. 'And then our moms became friends.'

'And the rest as they say is history.' Haley smiled as she left her knife and fork down and took a sip of wine.

'Yea Taylor told me you lost your mom Nate, I'm sorry man that's rough.'

Nathan felt Haley reach for his hand under the table then giving it a gentle squeeze which sent a jolt throughout his entire body. 'Yea, it was during senior year.' He said rather finitely refusing to delve into this topic any further, there was just no way he was recounting that story.

'So Nathan practically lived at our house after that.' Taylor said then.

'You weren't even there.' Haley teased.

'What, Brenda thought you two were secretly dating at that time you know?'

'What?' Haley said as if it was the craziest insinuation ever.

'Yea I mean he was in your bed.'

'We stayed at each other's houses all the time.' Haley argued her point.

'Weren't you each other's firsts?' Taylor said with a devilish smile.

'Sorry? What?' The baffled pair across from her asked.

'First kiss.' She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, Haley dropped her hand from Nathan's in a flash.

Nathan inwardly groaned and actually felt his cheeks heating up which rarely, wait it never happened to him but could this come at a worse time?

'No we weren't.' Nathan said cutting Taylor a look because she already knew that. Hell he was beginning to think she knew what was going on inside their heads because she seemed to be out to make them even more uncomfortable.

'Oh yea I forgot little good boy Jake was Haley's, what were you doing with him anyway Haley didn't I teach you anything, there was a reason you two never hit it off before..'

'Why because of Nathan?' Simone said then trying to understand.

Nathan actually cut him a look then. 'No not because of me.' His answer came out more cutthroat than he intended but the annoyance and vexation were just simmering within him now bubbling to the surface. 'Nothing ever happened between us through high school or college for that matter.'

'Yea because you were a pussy.' Taylor teased.

'Taylor..' Haley warned.

Nathan snapped. 'No I'm saying that we're friends and there's nothing going on..' Haley thumped Nathan hard at his slip up under the table and he glanced over at her even more pissed off until he caught her look. _Oh shit._

'There was nothing going on..' He corrected himself sighing. 'Not when everyone thought there was.' God he had royally fucked up even more today if that was even possible.

'So what changed?' Owen said before his wife had another chance to retaliate, he knew from the last few days that she and Nathan could be quiet snarky around each other and he was trying to settle the high tension that seemed to be evading their space all of a sudden.

'Oh look our desserts.' Haley squealed out snapping her hands together enthusiastically distracting everyone away from the question at hand.

'The food here really is some of the best I've had in Italy.' Owen said then having decked then it was really time to move this conversation along. He didn't know Nathan and Haley all that well but he could definitely tell there was something going on there whatever it was.

Taylor just looked between the two curiously trying to figure out what had happened, she didn't hear them arguing at all on the boat so she figured it couldn't be that. Anyway, whenever Nathan and Haley did fight it was usually that annoying sickly play-fighting, she'd never really seen them have a major spat. Maybe they had sex. Nah couldn't be Taylor pondered to herself, if they had sex there would be all those stolen eye glances, stolen touches…the whole shebang,

And this was the complete opposite, it's like they didn't even want to be seated together at the table, each so close to their respective ends. There had been this tension between them all night which was very unusual for the pair. As they finished up their semi-uncomfortable dessert Taylor wrapper her arm around her husband. 'Fancy getting a special cocktail?' She hinted at him to leave Nathan and Haley alone.

Nathan and Haley were left in silence then just staring at the vacant seats across from them.

'You nearly ruined everything.' Haley said as she dropped her napkin down on the table a little harsher than intended.

Nathan couldn't help but notice the double meaning behind her words, not like it was intended but he'd been saying the same thing to himself all day and that was before the dinner.

'I know Hales.' He sighed then. 'Taylor…she was just..'

'You know what she's like Nathan that hasn't changed.'

'Will you just give me break…I'm trying ok!' Nathan gritted out as he ran his hand through his hair frustratedly.

Haley was surprised by the tone he used with her, she knew Nathan well enough to not be wholly surprised by the way he reacted to Taylor, he was a hot-head and almost always reacted before he even thought about it when he was angry. But it was very rare that he would use than tone with her and she wondered what warranted him to be pissed at her. Wasn't she the one that should be annoyed?

He was severely on edge she could see it as he leaned his elbows against the table now and maybe it was the wrong time to bring this up but she couldn't help it, it seemed connected to it somehow because his mood had turned sour since. 'Was this because Owen mentioned your mom?' Haley questioned tepidly despite knowing he was going to deflect this immediately.

'What….no!' Nathan got out as he dropped his elbow down and glanced at her, she could read the disbelief in his eyes that she had actually asked that question.

'You kind of just closed up after that..'

'Bravo Haley for reading me so well.' Nathan spat out.

'Stop being like that.' Haley snapped then; he was really testing her patience tonight.

'This has nothing to do with my mom and everything to do with Taylor fucking with us I knew this dinner was a bad idea.' Nathan huffed out then.

'Well correct me if I'm wrong but you told me on the very first night that nothing they say matters because we know what happened in our past, what happened to don't let them get to you?' Haley threw out the very words then that Nathan had told her.

'Whatever Haley I'm tired of this.' Nathan shoved his chair back harshly then before walking away.

Haley's heart was thumping in her chest as she watched him go before turning back to look at the view that was now completely shrouded in the black of night, how fitting she thought dejectedly.

Their friendship was crumbling.

She could feel it.

**XXXXX**

'You didn't have to leave.' Nathan said quietly as he sat down on the end of their bed and watched Haley gather her night stuff.

He'd only being stepping onto the peer where the boat was docked in when he caught Haley catching up with him.

'I didn't want to deal with Taylor's questions.' Haley curtly replied.

She was annoyed at him, he knew that. But this quieter and calmer version of her was scarier than the Haley that would usually just get it off her chest and let him have it.

'At least there's just 4 more days right seen as your so tired of this.' She quipped sarcastically. 'Not like it's affecting me at all.' She muttered frustratedly as she roughly tugged her washbag from the drawer slamming it.

Nathan grimaced at the sound. 'Hales…' He said a little dejected then before she interrupted.

'Don't. Just not tonight Nathan.' She said trying to calm herself before she turned away from him and went into the bathroom.

Nathan just sat there stoic on the end of the bed as the moonlight cascaded in cross their room. There was no denying the dissimilar feeling in the air between them, unlike anything before, it wasn't so much the tension that had him worried but the detachment he felt from her. It's like all of Haley's walls were up right now, guarded, and she was never that way around him.

How could things between them have gotten so muddled up in such a short space of time? 6 days. Tomorrow would be one week exactly since they started this whole thing.

Was this pretend relationship actually just screwing with their minds that much?

Gone was all their joking around this and in its place was an inexplicable disparity that Nathan didn't even know how to solve. And the worst part about this was the fact that they could both read each other so well and he was sure Haley could feel the apprehension just emanating from him as it did her. God, they just needed to get off this damn boat, hopefully being with Brooke and Lucas over the next few days would just automatically shift them out of this weird space they found themselves in and bring them back to their normal.

Haley was taking so long in the bathroom Nathan was beginning to think she'd fallen asleep in there and if she had he wouldn't blame her, it's not like being shuffled in close together in a single bed was the best thing for them right now.

Nathan changed into a t shirt then and shed himself out of his jeans as he pulled back the quilt and lay on his side on the outside of the bed, he closed his eyes knowing already that sleep wasn't going to come to him for a while.

Minutes later he heard the bathroom door open as Haley shuffled around the room. He felt the bed move beneath him then as Haley crawled up from the bottom tucking herself in before she pulled the quilt over the two of them. She brushed against him then as she turned around and he felt her tense up a little before she pushed away as much as she could.

Nathan opened his eyes to see Haley's back facing him and he sighed.

The silence between them was deafening.

They needed to talk; he needed this heavy fog that seemed to be circulating them to lift but somehow he couldn't see the way out of it. He wanted to say something, anything but words completely failed him. And as he watched Haley curl up facing away from in he knew there was no chance of her talking with him tonight and that hurt the most, there never was a time she shut him out, at least not until _now._

**Please review 😊**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews as always, lots happens in this one enjoy :) **

**Capter 6**

Haley stirred out of her slumber feeling Nathan pushed up right against her as his arm rested across her tummy, her automatic instinct was to pull away from him but as she lay there awake she found the feeling of being wrapped in his arms like this rather comforting considering how disconnected she felt from him yesterday.

Smiling Haley just allowed herself to relax into his embrace enjoying the stillness and familiar comfort of being with him until she began to feel Nathan stir behind her, she felt a strange sense of loss when he immediately pulled his arm away and detangled himself from her. Haley shuffled then as she turned around to face him and she caught his wary gaze. 'Sorry..' He smiled sheepishly feeling rather embarrassed for cuddling up to her like that, it's not like he knew what he was doing.

Haley found herself chuckling slightly then and Nathan crossed his eyes at her in confusion. 'What?' He said rather cautiously.

'Your hair.' Haley laughed as she ran her hand through it, it was going in every direction and looked a little crazy.

The gesture was so simple yet so comforting to him. 'Hales.' Nathan said softly then as he caught her gaze.

'I'm sorry…' Haley said as she dropped her hand from his hair and she rested it under her head. 'I was just being stubborn last night I didn't want to talk or anything...'

'You've nothing to apologise for.' Nathan mumbled then; his voice still thick with sleep. It anyone had anything to apologise for it was him but he couldn't do it, he couldn't bring up the near kiss now. He just wanted to move on and forget about it.

'I think we're letting everyone get to us.' Haley admitted wearily then.

'Yea.' Nathan replied rather quietly. That still didn't justify why he almost kissed her yesterday, could he really explain that away by reasoning that it was just people getting inside his head? Could that justify why his body was reacting to hers the way it did because that was certainly not how you should react to your best friend, maybe it was because they were hyper-sensitive around each other because of the things that were being said and the environment they found themselves it.

'It is day 7 though so we have survived a week.' Nathan said rather sheepishly.

'Barely.' Haley teased then.

'We've only got one more dinner with your parents to get through and then Brooke and Lucas will be here.'

Nathan could practically feel the sigh of relief Haley expelled at that.

'I actually can't wait to see them.' Haley said craving normality.

The two of them just laid there side by side in silence for several minutes then basking in the warm, comforting familiarity of being with each other like this without all the weird tension that had surrounded them last night, Nathan actually felt better about it all today and realised now the magnitude of his fears last night had been irrational and with Brooke and Lucas coming tomorrow he knew it would be easier for the two of them from here on out and then they would soon be back to their normal lives.

'Nathan….we're gonna be ok aren't we?' Haley mumbled as she glanced back up at him.

He swallowed hard as he caught not only the apprehension in her voice but the fear that resided there; it mirrored the very same fear he felt last night.

'Of course we're gonna be ok.' He tried to reassure as he smiled at her.

Haley simply nodded as she tucked her head down against his chest. Nathan just rested his head above hers feeling his heart pounding in his chest and he was sure Haley could feel it too.

**XXXXX**

'Oh honey you look stunning.' Lydia gushed over her daughter as Haley slipped on her gold bracelet around her wrist. She was dressed in a simple cream off the shoulder dress which hugged her curves, Haley had paired the assemble with nude heels and left her blonde locks down in loose waves, she opted for a natural brown smoky eye and a slick of nude lipstick. She and Nathan were going out for dinner in one of the estates' finer restaurants for a meal with her parents before they went back to Tree Hill tomorrow.

She hadn't really seen Nathan all day after they lay in bed for a while this morning, neither said much to each other but things seemed to be ok between them. A lot of the guests were leaving tomorrow after the week including Haley's parents and wider family as well as Taylor and Owen who were going on their honeymoon , Quinn and Clay were staying an extra night with Haley and Nathan.

'Where's your handsome man?' Lydia winked as she walked into Haley's hotel room.

'He's at the bar with dad.' Haley said as she walked back over to the mirror and spritzed herself with perfume.

'I wondered were my husband disappeared too.'

'You know them two will talk for hours when they get going.'

'Talk?' Lydia mused. 'I'm sure they're fighting over a match right about now, there's a reason they rushed down to the bar.'

'That sounds more like it.' Haley smiled. She adored how close Nathan and her father were ,she was so like her father, it's like his connection with him was bonded by that it was so natural and it warmed her heart.

'I know we've been teasing you two a lot honey but it is only because we are so happy for you both.'

Haley felt the familiar pang in her chest.

'And this isn't me being happy because you have a partner it's because you have Nathan as your partner, I could see it Haley long before you could and Karen saw it to.'

Haley felt her mouth go dry at the mention of Nathan's mom. 'What do you mean by that?' She choked out.

'I guess she just knew in her heart that her son loved you and I just wish she was here to see it.' Lydia said fondly.

'Best friends can love each other too mum.' Haley said her voice shaky.

'I know honey but love changes.'

God this expansive hotel room was beginning to shrink in around her and feel rather stuffy, her dress was sticking to her and she felt that unnerving feeling dwindle in the centre of her tummy.

Why couldn't they this romanticised idea of their past go?

Why was her mom trying to change it? Why would Karen say those words when they had never been an inkling from either her or Nathan that they were actually more than friends?

Haley was tired of fighting with the memories of the past as she knew it and the altered perspectives which were consistently being thrown her way these past few days and messing with her head.

'You ready honey?'

'Sure mum..' Haley said expelling a soft sigh. _Just one more dinner._

'So I guess a congratulations is in order for surviving your first James wedding.'

Nathan smirked at that as he held up his half empty glass of scotch and tapped it against Jimmy's.

'Now I need you and my daughter to elope off somewhere cause I ain't going through this again, its aged me by at least 10 years.'

Nathan just chuckled at that.

'How is my girl doing Nate?' Jimmy questioned then. 'You know I've talked to her, tried to get her on her own and all I'm getting is I'm fine and that little smile of hers.'

'Honestly she's been finding it a little tricky lately with finishing college.' Nathan admitted. 'And I know she was worried about coming here for the wedding.'

Jimmy nodded his head in understanding.

'But she'll be ok.' Nathan said then.

'I know she will, she's like me, pure feisty.'

Nathan smiled at that, there was no doubt about it.

'She has you too, I know she'll be ok.' Jimmy said heartily as he caught Nathans gaze.

Another stab at his chest. It's not like it wasn't the truth, Haley would always have him but Jimmy's words carried more emphasis than they ever had before.

'And you know you can take the door inside the house now when you come to visit.' Jimmy teased then, the seriousness of their conversation dissipating.

Nathan just rolled his eyes shaking his head.

'You're not the same scrawny boy so I don't think that branch will hold you up anyway.'

'What are you two joking about now?' Haley smiled as she rested her arm on the back of the stool next to her father, Nathan was sitting across from him.

'Oh just telling Nathan he can use the door to our house after 17 years.' Jimmy teased. Lydia tapped him playfully on the shoulder.

Nathan however had completely zoned out on everything that was happening around him the moment Haley came up standing beside them, everything blurred out and in his line of vision all he could see was Haley in that cream coloured mini dress, she was absolutely radiant.

'You…you look beautiful.' He almost choked on his words, shocking himself with the raw emotion behind them as he left his glass back down on the bar without moving his eyes away from her.

She watched as his yes roamed over her, feeling an inexplicable sensation rise and quiver within her and then their eyes locked and she saw a flicker of something so unfamiliar and yet seconds later it was gone and she wondered had she seen it at all.

Haley sent him a soft smile, a smile he had become so accustomed to seeing from his best friend, but now he felt like he was caught in some inescapable riptide between the girl that was his friend and the beauty that stood before him right now, it wasn't like he suddenly realised how beautiful Haley truly was, he had noticed particularly since the age of 14 he started to look at her differently but it wasn't something he felt he had to act on and that instinct rising within him now was deeply unsettling.

Nathan had to force himself to tear his gaze away from her as he stared back into his now empty scotch glass. He could hear Jimmy patting him and giving him a light shove but his brain wasn't relaying the words to him. He tried so desperately then to clear the fog from his brain…_what was he thinking?_ But he couldn't even grasp the straws of normality between them they seemed so far away.

For some unknown reason Haley was desperate for him to look her way again which he hadn't, the feelings that were stirring within her now were both exciting and completely alien; dangerous even and she knew it wasn't right. She felt like she was being pulled in every direction, from the young girl who just wanted to shove her best friend with her elbow and tease him for such a comment to the girl now who stood before him so desperate to see that look from him again, had she even seen it or was she imagining things? Her mind was incredibly foggy and she was afraid to even call out his name which was ridiculous, she knew that.

'Haley…' Lydia said tapping her lightly as she stirred her out of her daze. Haley hadn't even noticed Nathan and Jimmy begin to walk on ahead of them.

They had just being delivered their main meal having spent the last half hour chatting about the few days on the boat while Haley's parents filled them in on some of the places they explored around the estate. It was mostly Haley's parents that spoke with the odd appraisal and comment from either Nathan or Haley.

An odd feeling lingered in the air between them. Haley just hoped her parents couldn't notice He was jumpy. She was jumpy. Every time her arm brushed his she noticed him shuffle his chair an inch away. While they were eating their elbows kept brushing against each other so much that Haley was now eating with her elbows tucked into her sides which was as painful as it was awkward and she didn't even care how ridiculous it was because good grief every time she as much as brushed against him her body immediately reacted. She practically shivered from the touch. What the hell was going on and why was she reacting like this? Was it because of that happened in the water yesterday?

Haley hated to even go there but she was pretty sure she was going to have to talk to Nathan about it given the way they were behaving around each other since that stupid moment.

'So Nathan how are you finding your new role?' Lydia asked then.

'Good.' Nathan said as he took a sip of his beer. 'I mean the hours have been insane but it won't be that way forever.' He reasoned.

'You work too hard.' Haley admitted and Nathan sent her a small shrug. She was right, he had been putting in a lot of hours.

'There are a lot of interesting intern opportunities coming up so I want to get noticed.' He explained to Haley's parents.

'Karen was always a hard worker; I'd say you get that from her.' Lydia said sending him a soft wink. Nathan just smiled and quivered a little as he felt Haley's hand rub up and down the back of his shirt. He was nervous to glance at Haley in case she had felt his reaction to her because that wasn't a reaction he was supposed to have. God, he was actually going insane. He kept repeating to himself this was his best friend but it's like his brain was becoming immune to those words and his body was winning the war against it.

'And what about you Haley-bob, the teaching degree was all you ever wanted and now…' Lydia began, her tone wasn't scrutinising more curious and concerned.

'I just haven't found the right position yet.' Haley said not wanting to dwell on this any longer.

'I understand honey but is it the position or are you considering if teaching really was the right..'

Haley sighed inwardly. 'I've always wanted a teaching degree mom…'

'I know but getting the degree and then going out into the real world it's completely different honey it might not be what you wa..'

'I still want to teach mom I just don't want to teach in New York.' Haley interrupted feeling her patience snap with the direction this conversation was going in, there was no way she was letting her mom initiate that maybe teaching hadn't been the right career for her. It was all she had been hearing lately.

The words were out of her mouth before she even realised it and she felt Nathan completely tense up beside her.

Everyone at the table went silent.

'Well honey seen as you've just moved into a new place in New York I'd say maybe that's something you want to have figured out..' Lydia said quirking her eyebrow at her.

_Fuck fuck Fuck_. Haley wasn't sure where that even came from, those words just seemed to come out like word vomit, oh god why did she say that? She could practically feel the trepidation from Nathan seeping through her and she immediately removed her back from his back. 'I didn't mean I don't want to be in New York, I 'm just considering different teaching roles.' Haley flustered out only she knew then she had said too much and she couldn't take it back.

Her parents said nothing .

The silence was uncomfortable as Haley fidgeted in her seat.

Nathan cleared his throat. 'Uh…Haley has been looking into helping out in disadvantaged schools, it's kind of like being a visiting teacher she'd go around to a few schools helping children, there are quite a lot in the city...'

Lydia smiled. 'Something like that would really suit you, I just want you to find something your happy in Haley.'

Nathan had saved her with that comment. She reached under to grab his hand under the table to thank him but he pulled away from her harshly. Haley glanced across noticing he wouldn't dare look her way.

How had he even thought to say that? She hadn't even looked into yet, yes she had thought about doing something like that and she remembered mentioning it to Nathan once a few months back, she really shouldn't be surprised though, Nathan had always been one for picking up on the little things like that she said in passing.

Was he hurt because of what she said about New York? Haley didn't know now; all she knew was that she needed to talk to him as soon as possible.

'Take the time you need darling you're not supposed to have it figured out at 23' Jimmy said softly and Haley gave her dad that knowing thankful luck.

'If you'll just excuse me for a moment.' Nathan said as he stood up from the table and went out.

'I'm just gonna get some fresh air.' Haley muttered quietly as she watched her father wrap his arm around her mom and the two began talking between themselves about how lovely this week had been just as the waiter began to clear their table.

Nathan pushed through the double doors of the restaurant leading onto the first-floor balcony. He felt like he couldn't breathe, he felt like hitting something, or someone, hell he wasn't sure what he was feeling, all these conflicting emotions were pulling inside of him and he couldn't get one coherent thought out. His reality, their safe space in New York had been the only solace he was clinging onto for their friendship to survive the confusion of these last few days and now even that was distorted by her words.

And even more troubling was the fact that he had not seen it all along.

Haley didn't want to be in New York, she wasn't happy.

He had noticed her spark burning out and yet he had bypassed that, the guilt was bubbling within him because deep down he knew the reason why he had bypassed that very recognition that Haley wasn't happy. But to own to up that would be to admit something that he had buried deep inside of him a long time ago, buried so deep he'd forgotten the logistics of why Haley had ended up attending college in New York in the first place.

But the fact that she didn't want to be there still after all this time rattled him to his very core, his past was beginning to reclaim his present and he felt like he was suffocating with it all, had he really been the one, the person who vowed to always protect her that had actually stood by and watched her spark fade away.

And yet all he could do was bury the guilt deep within him along with that pact and in that moment all he could feel towards her was anger. He was angry that she couldn't be happy there like he had wished she would be in time; he was angry at himself and he was angry because she hadn't been honest with him this whole time.

_But you weren't honest with her_. A voice taunted him. He didn't want to hear it; he had shut that voice up a long time ago.

'Nathan…' Haley called out as she came through the double doors onto the balcony.

'Haley…not now.' Nathan gritted out afraid of what he might say or do , he felt completely demonised by his emotions and control was slipping away from him with each passing second.

'I didn't mean it.' She said softly then as she watched him. He was leaning over the railings now, his breathing seemed shallow and heavy, he appeared really troubled and it actually made her feel very uneasy. He couldn't be reacting like this because of what she said, there was more going on here. How could that one comment upset him so much?

'Nathan…' She began again. ' Look it just came out; I was aggravated and mom…she just kept pushing me and..'

'But you were speaking the truth.' Nathan snapped. 'When were you going to tell me? Why didn't you tell me?' He raised his voice then as he turned to face her.

Haley took a step back rather startled by his reaction, very seldom did Nathan raise his voice like that with her. 'Nathan…moving in with you was the one thing that made sense, it was the easiest decision I ever made.' She said honestly.

'Yea in a city you hate.' Nathan countered.

'I don't hate it there.'

'God Haley I knew something was up with you these last few months and it's been so fucking obvious all along.' He gritted out running his hand through his hair frustratedly.

'What do you mean?'

'You're not applying for jobs, anytime I brought it up you shut me down…hell some of your boxes of stuff are still sitting in your room and that's so unlike you because your so organised I thought you'd have those boxes in the recycling bins before we even got our keys to the place cut.'

'I don't know what to tell you Nathan, I've just felt confused.' Haley admitted.

'Why couldn't you say that?'

'I couldn't tell you because I didn't even know myself Nathan, these last few months since we left college have just been so confusing.'

'That's bullshit Haley, you still could have been honest with me and told me you weren't sure about all of it, you've led me to believe that this is what you wanted too.' Nathan snapped.

And for the second time that night she was shocked to her very core at his aggressiveness, he was never like this with her. He always tried to reason and understand. It was beginning to piss her off now that he couldn't take her honest answer.

'Well if we are talking about being honest maybe you should fess up' She snapped back at him just as harshly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Nathan's heart pounded hard in his chest as his stance faltered a little, there was no way she knew, never.

'What are you talking about?' The words came out a lot shakier than intended, something she had said had obviously stroke a chord.

'Did you think about it?' Haley spat.

'What? Nathan crossed his eyes at her.

'Kissing me yesterday in the water, did you think about it?' Haley was surprised with how straight edged those words came from her mouth, considering how reluctant she actually was to bring this up since it happened.

Nathan opened his mouth and closed it again, he hesitated…she could see it. She had completely blindsided him with that question and his ten seconds of silence really was her answer. He had been about to kiss her. Haley couldn't even let her mind go there now; it was easier to just lay all her frustration out on him for the way he was behaving right now.

Nathan clenched his fists in annoyance now, she was twisting this back on him and he hated the way she was bringing the kiss up like this now when she knew he was on edge. How dare she?

'Well.' Haley quipped; on the surface she was holding her ground but inside she was shaking.

Nathan just shook his head trying to calm the vexation running through his veins. 'No I didn't think about kissing my best friend, do you even hear yourself right now?' He retorted but those words left a hollow taste in his mouth.

Haley just crossed her eyes at him daring him to go further with that one. 'Don't stand there and lecture me for being dishonest with you when you can't even do the same right now.'

'I don't know what happened in the fucking water Haley ok!' Nathan shouted out.

'Just like I don't know how I'm feeling about living in New York right now, I'm entitled to feel confused that doesn't mean I'm being dishonest.' She raised her voice back at him.

'Dammit Haley your twisting my words, you deliberately hid how you were feeling from me there's a difference, you've been pretending to be excited about the apartment when this whole damn time you didn't even want to be there!' Nathan retaliated.

'I love it there Nathan I said to you before it's been the one thing that has felt right and I can't give you any more than that.' Haley admitted defeated then as she felt the tears prickle her eyes. She held them in. 'We can't do this right now.' She said as she glanced back in towards the restaurant. 'We need to get back.'

'To get back to acting right?' Nathan scoffed. 'Maybe you should consider making a career of it, you've been acting for months fooling me and now this stupid holiday...' He went to walk back through the double doors then and felt Haley grab onto his arm roughly, the action itself sending an electric current through his body.

'Don't you dare to speak to me like that Nathan Scott.' She glowered at him. 'I'm still your friend whether your angry with me or not that doesn't give you the right to be so spiteful, it hurts me .'

'Not as much as it hurts me.' Nathan said in utter defeat before he pulled away from her and went back inside.

'We were beginning to think you two strayed away for a quickie.' Lydia teased with a wink as they came over towards the table where Lydia and Jimmy were fixing their coats.

Nathan gave her as tight smile as she stood up to hug him. 'We've an early flight Nathan so we're going to say our farewell now but don't be a stranger I want to see you two in Tree Hill soon.'

'Absolutely Lydia we're due a visit, I really miss it.'

'And remember to use the door son.' Jimmy teased.

'You guys are leaving already?' Haley said as she approached them, ironically this was the moment she should be feeling relaxed and letting her guard down, she and Nathan had played their part of a couple so well that they had somehow managed to tear themselves apart in the process.

'Yes honey, besides we know you two don't want to be sitting with us old folk all night.' Lydia said as she pulled her daughter in for a hug.

'I love you kiddo.' Jimmy said then as he pulled Haley in for a hug. 'Use your head and follow your heart.' He whispered in her ear then so no one else could him and Haley clung to him for a little longer before pulling back and mouthing a 'thank you' crinkling her eyes at him.

Haley was so lost watching them walk away that she hadn't notice Nathan leave the restaurant until she caught him going past the front desk.

'Nathan don't you dare walk away from me.' She fumed as she caught him leaving the restaurant not caring about the obvious looks she was receiving from raising her voice.

She came upon him just as he was stepping into the lift.

'Nathan.' .

'Trust me Haley you don't want to push me right now.' He bit out as the lift door closed before she could get near it. Haley let out a groan of frustration before feeling the sadness override her anger at his behaviour. It upset her more than anything the way he spoke to her, his tone, he never spoke to her like that.

By the time she got to their floor Haley caught him walking briskly down the carpeted hall towards their room at the end.

'Nathan..'

He kept walking.

'Nathan…' She was unrelenting but this was Haley and he wasn't the least bit surprised.

'What?' He snapped as he turned around then. Haley felt herself trembling , her hard exterior that wanted to berate him for his behaviour was shattering around her as the worry and pain over what was occurring between them consumed her.

'Please can we just talk about this…' She pleaded.

'I can't' He all but gritted out and she watched him, his breathing was coming out staggered and heavy, he ran his hand through his hair frustrated before leaning it against the wall.

She failed to understand this version of him, it was all so confusing.

'What…you can't talk to me….' Haley mumbled.

He looked up catching those brown eyes swirling with fear before his gaze fell to her chest which was heaving from her running up the stairs, he watched mesmerised by its rise and fall before he shook his head trying to clear the fog again.

Haley watched him growing incredibly confused with each passing second, she glanced down at herself wondering what he was looking at before she looked back up meeting his now heated gaze which involuntarily caused her breath to hitch in her throat. What was happening?

She stepped closer to him then and he took a step back dropping his hand from where it leant against the wall.

'I just….I can't be around you right now Haley….you have to…' Nathan stuttered incoherently. 'You have to go.' He got out before turning on his heel.

She grabbed him harshly before he could pull away from her again feeling that questionable current zorb through her body and as Nathan practically flinched away from her she knew he had felt it too. Haley heard the shaky breath he expelled as it happened, it had unnerved him as much as it had her.

'Haley…' his voice came out as a choked whisper, he seemed dare she even say it…nervous?

'What's happening to us?' Haley whispered fearfully then as the tears prickled her eyes.

The raw vulnerability in her voice made him want to reach out and comfort her like he had so many times before but he was grasping for them straws of normality again and they were absolutely nowhere in reach.

He couldn't think of comfort in that moment, he couldn't respond the way he knew he should have …all he could feel and act on was this pure instinct that was coursing through his veins, this unrelenting need to surrender and take every part of her along with him.

Nathan watched the rise and fall of her chest just as he had earlier, his eyes darkened as they rose to meet her face…..her questionable gaze, the confusion, the fear, the need…all mirrored in his darkened orbs.

And he gave in.

And it was the most dangerous move he would ever make.

Nathan forcefully entered Haley's mouth as if in some way pleading with her not to retaliate with him on this as he pushed her back against the wall adjacent to their room door, he completely ravaged her. He heard her whimpering and moaning against him and it only spurred him on further as he kissed her with everything in him.

Haley couldn't help the moans that escaped her as she felt Nathan aggressively kiss with so much desperation. She clung onto his suit jacket feeling her knees could buckle from under her in any moment from the force of his kisses, he had never been so rough with her before. His calloused hands were everywhere as he kissed her with such force all she could feel was this searing fire race through her veins as her body ached and shuddered against his with anticipation; this unfamiliar, unrelenting need building and spreading like wildfire.

All he could feel was this unwavering need to have her; all of her as he kissed her so aggressively barely breaking for air. He pushed his body as close to hers as physically possible; the need only seemed to be dominating him even more, not drowning out in the slightest. He felt himself being pulled in a million different directions and yet all those directions were leading back to Haley and this insatiable desire to taste her and have her; every single piece of her.

'Nathan…' Haley whimpered breathlessly as he broke the kiss both completely lost for air as he dropped his head to her neck and began nibbling and sucking on her pulse point. That name shouldn't have sounded as good as it had falling from her lips like that.

She surprised herself with how huskily his name dropped from her lips and shocked herself even more when all she heard was his low growl in response which only seemed to make her achingly wet for him. Haley tried to rub her thighs together desperate for some friction but as she felt Nathan push further in between them she let out an embarrassingly loud moan as his hardened member rubbed against her.

Pulling them away from the wall Nathan slipped the key card from his pocket never breaking his attack on her neck as he swiped it through the door and walked them backwards in the room towards the bed.

Frightened by her desperate need to taste him again Haley tugged on his raven hair eliciting a groan from him as she pulled him back towards her and their lips met once more duelling together in heated passion and frenzy, no words were spoken between the pair as their bodies dominated them completely in a way which would bring them an unshakeable amount of guilt and shock come the morning.

Haley fell back against the bed pulling Nathan with her hearing his low husky groans against her shoulder as she began licking and sucking her way down his neck, the salty sweet taste of his skin was so delectable and as she reached his earlobe she licked it before biting down hard eliciting the hottest moan from him. 'Haley…' She smirked repeating the action knowing from full best friend disclosure that he loved when women did that and she was using it against him in the most erotic way. The way his name fell from her lips in that way was so empowering.

Nathan was delirious with pleasure from her actions, his body shivering and scorching up all at once as he pressed himself into her desperate for release, Haley felt just how hard he was, a reaction that should have knocked her stone cold out of this blissful haze but only served to make her want him even more as she looped her leg around his and began to involuntarily rock herself up and down against his cock.

'Fuck…' Nathan gritted out as Haley's actions, he could feel her soaking wet heat through her dress, he began licking and biting his way down her neck again marking her as his tongue worked hotly over her, he couldn't get enough of how sweet she tasted….it was something so inherently Haley and for a split second he wondered how he'd gone so long without ever tasting her before he let that thought vanish bottling it with the regrets of tomorrow. He brought his lips back to hers as his hands gently rubbed up her soft thighs.

She gasped loudly as she felt his finger lightly brush over her soaking wet centre up towards her clit and back down, fuck she was so wet and hot and he'd never craved being inside someone as much as he had in that moment.

'Nathan…please.' Haley whimpered desperately seeking more.

H paused his actions looking up as she called his name and their eyes met for the first time since their confrontation in the hall and one look from her told him all he needed to know as Nathan swiftly unzipped his trousers pulling them down with his boxers before he bunched her dress as high as he could giving him access to her glistening arousal. Haley was quivering with pleasure trying to alleviate the ache in her centre as she rubbed her thighs against each other before Nathan kneeled in between them spreading her legs further and hearing her whimper at his actions. He moved his body back over her one hand pumping his cock lining it up at her wet centre and it took everything in him not to just thrust himself inside of her in that moment.

He leaned in kissing her softer than he ever had before to ease the pain, their tongues caressing each other gently as he slowly began to push himself inside of her.

Haley moaned into his mouth as she began to feel the sheer girth of him stretch her and fill her completely, an unwavering painful pleasure washed over her as his thick length slowly filled every part of her. His name was falling in erotic whispers now as he began to pick up the pace and the pain gave way to inexplicable pleasure within her, the searing fire now a raging flame, their bodies slicked with sweat pressed against each other, Nathan had his forehead pressing against hers as he pulled out of her so gently and began to push himself back in at a faster pace that had her screaming out his name.

Nothing had ever felt so dangerously wrong yet so predestined all at once as though his cock was made to fill her for the first time like this and she couldn't understand the loss she felt every time he pulled out of her she needed him inside her once more. Haley involuntarily lifted her legs wrapping them around him then pushing him into her roughly begging him to pick up the pace.

'God Haley…' Nathan moaned completely defenceless in that moment as he felt her dig her heels into him pushing his length into her even more and keeping him there. Her name falling from his lips so defencelessly had her stomach tightening, the tingles that danced all over her now enthralling waves as her walls clenched around his swelled cock and his name fell from her lips in the most erotic way as her body completely surrendered to him.

Herning his name fall from her lips like that in the throes of passion brought Nathan to his release within seconds as his warm load filled her completely. Haley's legs fell from his as he collapsed on top of her, his fringe soaking wet on her shoulder, a sheen of sweat covered them both.

Their bodies had finally won a long battle of defiance, denial and resistance and within that victory lay a friendship that was on the brink of destruction.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for your reviews :) **

**Chapter 7 **

A persistent knocking drummed against the door to their hotel room, Haley grumbled sleepily from where her head rested on Nathan's chest as her body laid draped over his, their legs tangled together. Nathan moaned as the knocking grew more incessant, opening his eyes he noticed his best friend wiping the sleep from her eyes as she glanced at him rather confused…he glanced looked at her still in her dress from the night before and he in his shirt and he wondered how they'd ended up sleeping like this in their clothes,

And then it hit him _full force_ as the images came back to him…..

_Pushing her against the wall and kissing her forcefully…..falling onto the bed together…..how wet she was….plunging inside of her …her legs wrapped around his as she met him thrust for thrust_…

It seemed to hit them at the exact same moment as they then glanced at each other in shock and they couldn't separate themselves quick enough. Nathan scrambled away from Haley rather chaotically untangling his legs from hers in his sleepy state as he clambered off the bed looking for a pair of boxers.

Haley turned her gaze away from Nathan looking for anything to cover herself up with. Despite the fact that she was still wearing her dress she felt disgustingly exposed. She glanced down at her panties thrown at the end of the bed and she felt the bile rise in her throat.

_What had they done? _

In his semi-shocked state Nathan all but stumbled to the door not even fully dressed opening it ready to tell the room service that now really was _not _the time.

But what or rather whom he saw the other side sent his blood cold. 'J…Jake..?'

Jake shook his head smirking at Nathan who all but answered the door adorning his classic 'I just got laid look' his hair completely askew, his shirt undone and were those bite marks? 'Bad timing?' He joked alluding to Nathan's appearance.

Nathan found he was lost for words.

'So if you've some chick in there where's Haley?'

'What….what are you doing here?' Nathan mumbled out rather defensively as he held his hand between the door and the wall as if Jake even caught a glimpse inside he would just know.

'Well when Brooke and Lucas couldn't come until late I booked on with them, thought I'd surprise Haley…where is she?'

'You do know that everyone thinks we are dating here?' He hadn't meant for his words to have such a sharp edge.

Jake found Nathan's tone a little odd but shrugged it off, he clearly wasn't a morning person. 'I know man but Brooke said most of the family were heading home today and besides I just wanted to see her.'

Nathan could feel the guilt engulfing him entirely.

Jake was seeing Haley, he was one of Jake's closest friends since the river court days…what Nathan had done last night without so much as a thought for Jake, what did that say about him? And he knew the guilt over this was going to eat Haley up. 'Haley…am …she was with her parents last night it was their last night so she stayed with them.' He choked out extremely uncomfortably

'Ok guess I'll just see her at breakfast, Brooke was looking for you two. I can stall them for a bit with your girl Nate but it's Brooke and well you know how she can be' Jake said knowingly.

Nathan felt his whole world closing in on him and somehow his mouth formed the words to tell Jake he'd see him later although he hadn't really heard what he said, something about Brooke being excited to see them, he couldn't deal with it now.

He closed the door then leaning his hand against it as he breathed in a shaky breath. Her voice broke him from his thoughts then as his heart pounded in his chest. Why was he so afraid to look at her?

'Nathan…' Haley's voice was laced with dread and fearfulness as she called out to him.

Nathan turned rather reluctantly to see Haley pulling self-consciously on the hem of her dress.

Seeing her standing there in that tight dress from last night, her hair all messed up clearly sporting the just got laid look too had all his blood pooling south, _fuck what was happening to him? _He closed his eyes momentarily thinking of his friend at the other side of the door , thinking of his best friend and willing those unwanted thoughts away from his mind.

'That was….Jake.' Nathan barely got. A foreign silence fell between them as neither said a single word. He couldn't take it anymore; it was suffocating with each passing minute. Nathan walked over to her. 'Hales..' He reached out for her before recoiling away in shock as Haley slapped him hard across the face, the sound echoing severely in their empty hotel room. Haley pulled her hand back shakily clearly in shock herself for even doing that.

Nathan brought his hand up to his ever-reddening cheek the hurt clearly shining in his blue eyes as he glanced back at her. 'I guess I deserved that.' He mumbled as he bent down and practically stumbled into his trousers before grabbing his shoes.

His actions jolted Haley from her shock. 'Nathan…wait.' She tried to grab onto his arm but he was too fast and within seconds he was out the door.

She hadn't meant to slap him, it just happened.

Haley brought her quivering hand to her mouth feeling the heavy sobs threaten to engulf her whole as she dropped down to the carpet beside the bed, images from last night haunted her and she felt physically sick not over the actual act of what had transpired but because she felt those tingling feelings rise again in her body like a current and her mind seemed to cling to the memory of how he had felt inside of her, feeling completely tormented by her thoughts Haley ran to the bathroom dropping to the cool tiles dry heaving over the toilet seat.

It was all too much , what had they done? She'd just had sex last night with her best friend and even worse her body seemed to crave it again. And now Jake was here….what was he doing here? She fell back against the bathtub as she sobbed.

She didn't even hear the bathroom door open minutes later before her sister dropped to the floor in a hot second beside her. 'Haley, what happened?' Quinn panicked as she took her in sitting shaking against the bathtub as the sobs wrecked her body. She'd caught Nathan leaving the room rather distressingly and new immediately something was up.

'I've ruined everything.' Haley got you through tears.

'Haley…' Quinn said soothingly as she sat down beside her wrapping her arm around her shoulder. 'Talk to me.'

'I …..' She faltered. 'I slept with Nathan.' She choked out as she wiped her eyes .

'Isn't that a good thing?' Quinn said softly watching as Haley shook her head in utter defeat.

In that moment Quinn's instincts about them were confirmed.

'You two weren't together were you?' She said softly to Haley.

Haley just shook her head dropping it to her knees confirming Quinn's suspicions.

'Come on let's get up you up off the floor.' She practically pulled her sister from the floor bringing her back into the room and sat her down on the sofa adjacent to the window as she boiled the kettle. She watched her sister worriedly as Haley just sat there stoic, her body completely drained from crying.

Quinn handed Haley the warm cup of mint tea before sitting beside her on the sofa. 'What happened little sis…'

Haley spoke lowly, her throat dry with emotion. 'We were arguing last night and I just wanted to talk things through…he didn't so I kept pushing it and next thing he…..he kissed me.' Haley faltered then closing her eyes to the onset of the memories, she didn't want to recall it because to recall it would mean to feel it all again and she refused to think about how it had made her feel.

Quinn really wanted to ask her sister about the sex but she knew this just wasn't the time; she was pretty sure it would result in Haley running to the toilet to throw up again she was so shook by all of this. There was more going on here, that she was sure of.

'You don't seem surprised.' Haley whispered softly then.

'I had my reservations about you two..' Quinn admitted.

'Why?'

Because if you and Nathan were really together you'd be a lot happier than you've been the last few days little sis .' Quinn admitted and Haley closed her eyes painfully.

'I wanted to tell you but we just thought to make this believable we had to be all in or nothing, I'm going to lose him Quinn all because of this. I can feel it.' Haley choked out as the tears began to well up in her eyes again.

'Don't say that.' Quinn comforted her.

'I think I already have.' Haley muttered defeatedly.

It was about an hour later and Haley had showered and freshened up, Nathan hadn't even returned much to concern, he always bolted when he needed to deal with things so she wasn't surprised by that but right now their friends were here and were going to come looking for them and she was filled with dread over it all.

'Ok much better.' Quinn said as she fluffed Haley's freshly washed locks, she was wearing a simple pair of light blue jeans with a navy t-shirt and her blonde locks were down in loose waves.

'Thanks Quinnie.' Haley mumbled.

'That's what sisters are for.' Quinn smiled back at her through the mirror, while she was helping Haley get ready, Haley had told her everything, why she had asked Nathan here with her, why she felt she needed to convince their mother they were dating, the situation with Jake at home and the very fact he was here right now.

'It's going to be ok Haley, there's no need for this acting between you and Nathan anymore. It's over now and ye will work things out but I think you should talk to him before you talk to Jake.'

'This is really bad Quinn I slept with him..'

'It's not like you and Jake are official, loads of people dating nonexclusively and see other people… ' Quinn reasoned.

'I know you're trying to make me feel better and I love you for that but I can't take this back, I've done a horrible thing.'

'Would you…?' Quinn questioned and Haley met her eyes in the mirror. 'Sleeping with Nathan. Would you take it back?'

The question lingered in the air.

Before Haley could answer Nathan came through the hotel door and Quinn's heart sank for the second time that morning as she drank in his appearance, he looked as jaded and broken as Haley, the complete mirror image of each other; two souls paralysed by the fear of losing each other.

'Quinn…' Nathan stopped in his tracks swallowing hard. He didn't know what to say, he almost expected her to walk up and slap him too. She turned from Haley and walked towards the door stopping in front of him she sent him a sad smile and that in itself was far worse than any slap could have been. She was looking at him like he'd already lost Haley, as though she was worried for what would become of them.

Haley stood up from the dresser when she heard the door shut behind her sister, she knew Nathan was standing there, she knew it was pathetic but she still found it difficult to even look in his direction, as if it would stir up her memories again and she didn't want to think about it. She was afraid to remember it all.

'Hales…' Nathan choked out as he walked closer to her but she recoiled away from him.

He tried to hold onto her arm but she put her hand up stepping back more. 'Don't'

He swallowed hard, so he couldn't even touch her now. Was she really that disgusted by what they did?

'Lucas and Brooke want to meet us downstairs for breakfast in ten minutes.' He said quietly.

'And Jake.' Her tone was void of any emotion.

'Yea and Jake.' He swallowed thickly.

'You should take a shower, I'll wait here.' She said as she crossed her arms over herself and stared out the bay window.

Nathan hated how she seemed to be protecting herself from him, it broke his heart.

He gathered some fresh clothes rather mechanically as though his body was acting on auto pilot, his emotions running wild as he walked towards the bathroom door, he hesitated before looking back at her still standing there with her back towards him. 'Haley..' He said then so brokenly it actually had her turning towards him and she could see the raw emotion glistening in his eyes. 'I'm so sorry.' He said sadly before he left her.

**XXXXX**

'There you guys are!' Brooke squealed as she bounced over hugging them. Lucas came behind her. 'Hey man.' He said giving Nathan a slap on the shoulder before hugging Haley.

'Where's Jake?' She asked softly.

'He went for swim he'll be here shortly.'

'Ok so you're both still in one piece albeit looking a little worse for wear.' Brook teased.

'Thanks Brooke.' Haley mumbled clearly even Quinn's effort to make her up couldn't hide the actual mess she was. And she knew Nathan was a mess, he just looked scruffy and unkempt which was so unlike him.

'You know I'm kidding but seriously you two look beat .'

'Yea well it's been a crazy week.' Haley spoke up.

'So I assume everything went off ok with your family?' Lucas said then.

Haley nodded before immediately tensing as she felt Jake's hand land on her shoulders. 'Hi.' She attempted to say brightly as she turned and he gave her a peck on the lips.

Nathan tensed beside her; his eyes boring into the cutlery in front of them.

'Jake your girl is going to need some TLC it seems this week has been anything but a holiday.' Brooke teased.

'Was it really that bad?'

'No just a little mad that's all.' Haley tried to brush off.

'Nathan you're in need of a little TLC too I imagine.' Brooke winked.

Jake just chuckled and everyone glanced at him. 'Oh I'm pretty sure that's been taking care of.' He goaded.

Brooke, Lucas and Haley all glanced at him questionably.

'Well I rocked up to surprise you this morning.' Jake said to Haley as he threw his arm across her chair before he glanced at the others. 'And there was a girl in Nathan's bed.'

'Come out.' Brooke said with a cheeky smirk on her face.

'No joke he rocked up to the door boxers and a shirt…I'm just glad you remembered to put your pants on.' Jake goaded as he looked at Lucas knowingly.

'That was one time.' Lucas said with an eye roll.

Nathan wasn't laughing. Haley felt her cheeks flame up as her palms went all clammy.

'So are you going to introduce us?' Lucas teased.

'It wasn't like that.' Nathan gritted out definitely feeling like the universe was punishing him for his actions right about now.

'Well that's the first time I've ever seen you speechless little brother so she must have been something.' Lucas chuckled at how little Nathan was saying right now.

Haley began choking on her juice then and Nathan actually felt his throat closing up.

'You alright?' Jake said rubbing her back softly

'Perfect.' Haley squeaked wanting the ground to just swallow her up. 'So what have you been up to since we left?' She manged to ask swiftly moving this conversation along, she didn't dare glance in Nathan's direction.

'Well I had Rogue Vogue as you know the whole reason we couldn't come out here..' Brooke began.

'Oh yea how did it go?' Haley asked.

'Not what I expected.' Brooke pouted. 'You know how they promised me that I'd get to showcase some of my designs, well I spent the entire day doing coffee runs and pinning dresses to catty models.'

'I'm sorry Brooke.' Haley grimaced.

'We've all go to start somewhere eh, such is the life of an intern.' Brooke countered. 'But I be getting to showcase some of my designs at our companies next fashion show so you should all come along, it's an open bar.' She mused.

'How was the boat tour ye decided to go on? Did it make up for us not being here?' Lucas said then glancing between Nathan and Haley.

'You know what it actually did.' Haley mused. 'It was lovely we got to see some lovely Italian islands.'

'How about you Nate?' Lucas couldn't help but prod his brother who was uncharacteristically silent.

'What?' Nathan said then as he glanced up from his plate.

'The boat trip…'

'Oh yea…like Haley said…it was good.' He mumbled out.

'So I've took the liberty of booking us in for dinner at La Rocco tonight, it's meant to be insane and there's a salsa night there too which if anything should be entertaining giving how the Scott boys dance.'

'Hey..' Lucas retaliated

'Funny.' Nathan quipped. 'Look I actually need to run but I'll see you guys later for dinner I guess.' He tried to smile convincingly as he got up from his chair.

'You're going? You've only had coffee, you not staying for breakfast?' Brooke wondered.

'Not really hungry.' Nathan mumbled out before he left the table. Haley sighed to herself as she glanced after him.

'Ok is it me or is he acting very strange?' Lucas said then as Nathan left rather suddenly.

'Whoever she was has clearly affected him.' Jake joked as the others laughed.

Haley dropped her cutlery back down onto the plate rather sharply. 'You know I'm just going to check on him, I didn't really get to since last night and things got kind of intense with my parents.'

Haley berated herself for being so reluctant to even walk into their hotel room. _This is your best friend. Since when have you ever been nervous or apprehensive around him?_

Swallowing her nerves Haley swiped her key card in the door, Nathan seemed to be rummaging through his suitcase, he turned in her direction and she noticed then he was shirtless, clad in just his basketball shorts and runners. She quickly glanced away from his chest feeling the heat rise in her body. _You've seen him shirtless loads, cop on Haley._ She caught the look of surprise on his face then at her being here, he'd obviously expected her not to chase after him considering….everything.

'What are you…'

'What was that?' Haley interrupted.

'What?' Nathan feigned ignorance.

'You know what Nathan.'

'I'm sorry..'

'Is that all you're going to keep saying.' She got out as she ran her hands through her hair.

'I don't know what else to say to you Haley..' Nathan mumbled rather defeatedly.

The words were on her tongue but she quickly swallowed them. She just couldn't talk about what happened between them last night.

Haley sighed realising it was silly of her to chase after him when she didn't have the guts herself to even bring up what happened with him, she went over to grab her suitcase she had packed earlier.

'What are you doing?' Nathan said hesitantly although he already knew the answer.

'Everyone's gone home so we don't need to room anymore.' Haley said rather curtly.

Nathan gulped. 'You shouldn't have to leave, I'll go.' He reasoned.

'No, I need to leave.' Haley emphasised.

Her emphasis was her truth. It had been a mistake, she regretted it, Nathan could hear it in her words. So why, for him didn't it feel like a mistake? Surely it wasn't all one-sided, everything that had transpired was unlike anything he'd experienced with anyone before, that was part of the problem, he could remember every single thing and exactly how it had felt.

'Hales…' He said hesitantly as she went for the door.

His name had her pausing, her heart thudding in her chest. 'I'll see you later.' She said quietly before she left the room and left him standing there more confused than ever.

**XXXXX**

'So let me get this straight, none of it was real?' Clay said trying to wrap his head around this news. It was his and Quinn's last night so they decided to join everyone at La Rocca. They'd had a good few drinks in them now as they'd finished their main meal an hour ago and were just sitting around the table waiting for the music to start. Nathan and Haley had barely said two words to each other all night. 'Well I guess that explains the stag do.'

'Why? What did you do?' Jake chuckled as he glanced at Nathan.

'Nothing.' Nathan said frustrated that the conversation had seemed to direct back to him and Haley and this foolish fake relationship again.

'Let's just say Nate here was a little friendlier with the women than I was.'

Nathan rolled his eyes as they chuckled around the table.

'Oh god and you two had to share that tiny bed I'm surprised you didn't come clean then.' Clay said.

Nathan glanced at Haley to find her staring right back at him before they quickly averted their gaze.

'I forgot about that; it makes sense why you were so pissed.' Quinn said towards Nathan then.

'You didn't say anything about sharing a bed.' Jake goaded.

'So we shared a single bed on the boat, it's not like we haven't shared a bed before.' Haley said a lit harsher than intended.

'I'm only joking with you.' Jake teased as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

'So even the entertainment night?' Clay said then with wide eyes. 'I never would have guessed.'

Nathan bit his lip to prevent himself from firing back at Clay. _Whose bright idea was it to tell Clay this had all been a pretence between them? _He wouldn't fucking shut up now and it was getting on Nathan's nerves. The last thing he needed after what happened last night was to be reminded of every single moment they had on this trip.

'Clay…' Quinn hissed eying him to say he had said enough, it would do no good for Jake to hear what happened on stage that night even if it was all a ruse.

'Oh this has to be good.' Brooke cheered. 'What happened?'

'It was just an entertainment night, Nathan and Haley had to pass a coconut up their bodies without letting it drop to the floor.' Quinn supplied elbowing Clay's side.

Brooke's mouth feel open. 'Oh I would have loved to have seen that! Sounds innocent .' She goaded.

'It was.' Haley said back .

'That's got to have been awkward.' Lucas said cringing a little for them.

'Honestly the need to win against Taylor kinda took over.' Nathan admitted then as the others laughed. 'I'm getting another beer anyone want one?' He questioned as he pushed his chair back not able for anymore of this conversation.

'I'll come with you.' Jake said as he stood up.

'Ok.' Nathan said as his eyes met Haley's before they both quickly adverted their gazes _again._

'I think I made a mistake coming here.' Jake admitted as they waited for their drinks.

'Why would you say that?' Nathan asked as sat up on the stool at the bar, he had absolutely no intention of going back to that table anytime soon.

'Haley's just being so distant man, it's like she doesn't want me here, I can feel it off her.'

'Look, up until today Quinn thought we were together and I think Haley didn't expect to have to tell her about us and then about you too.' Nathan managed to get out.

'It's more than that man.'

The guilt clawed away at him again and he tried to wash it down with a gulp of beer. He couldn't listen to this.

'Maybe you should talk to her.' He said hesitantly.

Jake just nodded as he too took a sip of his beer, Nathan usually had loads of solid advice where Haley was concerned, he was her best friend after all. But Jake decided not to push it, Nathan seemed to be in faraway place all day too much like Haley had been.

'Are you alright?' Jake commented eying Nathan, he'd been working with him for months now and he'd seen him in the office on a Friday night with a mountain of tasks piling up and even then he'd never been this strung out.

'Yea.' Nathan replied a little too quickly for it actually to be believable. 'It's just…it's being a little complicated with Haley's family, I'm close to them, her father especially and it was hard to lie.' He conjured up then realising that was actually the truth and hoped Jake would believe that was the sole reason he was so on edge.

'You did a good thing for her though Nate.'

Nathan wanted to scoff at his words. 'You know what I'm going to cut out of here early tonight, salsa really isn't my thing.'

'Coward.' Jake teased. 'Well I'm using it as my excuse to get a little closer to Haley.'

Nathan dropped the bottle back onto the counter a little harsher than intended at his friend's words.

'Right well I'll see ya tomorrow Nate.' Nathan just gave him a nod as Jake walked away and he sunk his hands through his raven hair tugging roughly at the ends before drawing out a long sigh. It had been one painful day , all from surrendering in that split-second last night he knew he had not only potentially destroyed his friendship with Haley but he had also took her virginity , and coupled with that he was lying to another friend who trusted him so much that he was confiding in him about Haley

And to make matters worse they hadn't even resolved their conversation about New York, they needed to talk about that but how could he talk to her about that now with this mistake hanging over their heads?

He felt physically ill because the feelings that last night had evoked in him had been taunting him all day, he could remember so vividly how she felt , how she tasted..._everything._

He found he was _craving_ taking her in that way again.

It was probably the most dangerous instinct he'd ever had and like last night if he were to give into it he knew he would lose her for good.

At least right now their friendship still had a chance , if he could only explain this away as happening because of the week they spent here messing with his head and hope Haley would feel the same way , and those urges rising with him? Surely they would dissipate as soon as they got off this fucking island which was clearly messing with his emotions.

**XXXXX**

Haley was hurt when Jake came up to her earlier telling her Nathan had called it a night , in all their years whenever they were out together they always had let the other one know if they were cutting out even when they had respective partners.

It was their thing.

That was hours ago now and Haley had tried to forget, she tried to lose herself dancing with them all even laughing at the boys attempts at salsa but it was futile, her emotions were all over the place and she was so drained from it all yet she knew sleep wouldn't come easy either.

Sensing Haley's tiredness Jake wrapped his arms around her as he whispered in her ear. 'I think it's time we get you to bed.'

Haley pulled away from him rather quickly. 'You should stay and have fun.'

'Honestly I'm tired from the early flight.' Jake admitted. 'How about we go back to the room and talk?'

_Oh god that dreaded word._ Jake was the last person she wanted to talk to and she felt awful for it , she really wanted to see Nathan.

She missed him.

'Sure.' She mumbled reluctantly as he led her off the dance floor.

Jake's room was very similar to the room she shared with Nathan just that it was facing the other way, as she came inside she felt her heart pound in her chest as she came over to the bed and those images flashed in her mind from last night. All she wanted to do was bat away those unfamiliar sensations rising within her. she closed her eyes willing those unwelcome thoughts away and as she opened them she noticed Jake getting into bed. Haley couldn't shake how odd it felt when Jake snuggled up to her wrapping his arm around her. She'd never even shared a bed with him before. She tensed; she couldn't help it. It's not like they were serious and even if nothing had happened with Nathan she wasn't entirely comfortable sharing with him.

'Don't get mad at me but I know you two tell each other everything so I may as well tell you , I kind of spoke to Nathan about you earlier…' Jake said quietly then.

She was pretty sure he could feel her heart pounding in his chest

'Why?' Haley choked out

'Cause I was worried about you, he just said you've had a crazy few days.'

'I'm sorry Jake this isn't fair to you.' Haley mumbled. 'I know I've been quiet today there's just a lot going on right now.'

'I know I kind of feel like I made a mistake coming.' Jake admitted then.

He was met with silence then and he sighed as he pulled his arm back from Haley.

'Jake it's not that….I like having you here..' Haley found she was lost for words.

Minutes later she heard Jakes soft breathing behind her as he fell asleep, he was shattered from the jet lag, she wondered would he even remember this conversation tomorrow, she hoped he was tired enough not to notice her crawl out from under him as she left the bed.

**XXXXX **

Nathan turned for like the zillionth time in the bed , god this was torture being in this very bed when all he was trying to do was forget it all ,he was going to have to change rooms or something tomorrow because this was horrendous. It didn't help matters that the sheets had that lingering scent of vanilla; all Haley.

Seconds later he heard the door open and he frowned sitting up, the room was dimly lit from the moonlight, enough for him to make out her form. Haley came in and stood rather awkwardly in front of the bed fumbling with her fingers.

Before he knew what was happening she had crawled up to him on the bed and threw her arms around him holding him unmercifully tightly and his heart sank as he felt her tears soak through dampening his grey t-shirt. 'Hales'...he choked sadly knowing he was to blame ; she was crying because of him.

Yet the aching restlessness that was quivering within his body all day had finally ceased with her arms around him but he couldn't fixate on why his body seemed to almost fall into her in restful relief.

No, he needed to focus on his best friend and on how he could make this right.

She pulled back from him then and he reluctantly let her slip out of his arms before she sat facing him utterly broken , the tracks of her tears marring her face with remorse over what they did .

'What are we going to do? I can't tell him Nathan I can't' She choked out.

'I don't think we should' Nathan admitted hesitantly, he knew telling the truth would do more damage than good for all of them.

'What are you saying?' Haley mumbled.

'I'm saying that…' Nathan hesitated again , he didn't want to hurt her by saying it was a mistake when clearly it had to have been. They were friends, the best of friends, sleeping together was a mistake even if it didn't _feel_ like one. Why was it so hard to say them words? It should be falling off his tongue right now.

'You're saying that it was a mistake.' Haley admitted softly

Nathan swallowed hard. 'Hales…'

'Because it was Nathan…' She whispered brokenly.

Although she tried to think back to the very moment that the voice in her head shouted to stop it all from happening but that moment never came last night and that fact in itself was scary as hell.

'Haley…I' He wanted to explain but he couldn't, for the first time in all his years of knowing her he was honestly stuck for what she needed to hear from him. He didn't have the answers. He was lost for words as he glanced at her in those lacy pjs , she hadn't worn them since she got here and he felt a little perturbed realising it was probably for Jake and then he shook his head realising he never thought that way before with regards to Haley and how she dressed.

Haley felt those unfamiliar sensations flutter through her whole body under Nathan's heated gaze, it was there again that pull threatening to swallow her whole and drag her deeper into the aftermath of remorse and guilt. She couldn't, she had to fight it maybe harder than she had fought for anything in her life ,

He watched as Haley crossed her arms then cowering away from him almost. 'This is really bad Nathan.' She said shakily.

He knew that.

And yet he felt everything shifting around them again.

Nathan closed his eyes willing it all away reminding himself this was his best friend sitting here beside him.

He blew out a breath. 'Haley say if this had happened between us in school or something ..' He began swallowing thickly as she finally glanced at him again. 'We would have gone onto college nothing would have changed I know that, so what if it's happened a few years later? It was a ...mistake ' Somehow those words seemed to want to stay lodged in his throat. 'But it doesn't have to change anything.'

'But it changes everything.' Haley retorted clearly upset wondering how he could possibly say something like that.

'Only if we let it.' Nathan admitted hoarsely.

Could they really just go back to how things were? Would it be that they'd just get back to New York and their ordinary lives there and everything would feel normal, they would find their common ground again?

As she glanced up at him now she saw the mixture of apprehension and holding on mirrored in his blue eyes , they had to go back to how things were or else suffer a faith much worse; loosing each other completely.

Haley lied down on the bed then facing him and Nathan followed suit as he laid down on his back staring up at the ceiling. They lay in silence for the longest time but both couldn't escape how loud their thoughts were screaming.

Haley expelled a quiet sigh then. 'Nathan….' She whispered catching his gaze as he turned his head sideways. 'I was confused which I think was normal finishing college but I'm not going anywhere…I wouldn't have moved into that apartment if I was even considering leaving, my life is in New York, my friends are there and you're there.'

Nathan still found little comfort in her words.

'Yea we're all there but do you really want to be there?' Nathan questioned her then as he turned to face her cupping his hand underneath his cheek.

'Honestly I can say right now I do.' Haley admitted. She caught his gaze and it felt like he was looking right into her soul as though he was searching for more, maybe searching for something she hadn't even discovered yet.

'Will you please tell me if you're having doubts again?' He said concerned.

She felt her heart swell at his concern like always. 'I will…no secrets?' She teased recalling the ten-year-old girl that had first said that to him as a boy. He sent her a sheepish smirk as he she held up her pinkie finger to him just like she did that very day in her back garden.

'Can I stay here Nathan?' Haley whispered so quietly and unsure of herself that he wasn't sure he even heard her right. Nathan met her worried gaze then 'What about Jake? '

'I just ...I need my best friend tonight.' She admitted sending him a shaky smile.

He smiled back at her before leaning across and pulling the covers up over her.

They slept in that bed just like they did the night before. But now the people they had always been , their surface pretences were fighting back, the retaliation so strong in the hope that those two friends would never ignite their spark again for their friendship wouldn't survive it. Yet as she glanced at his form sleeping across from her in the dimly lit room now, the unease still lingered within her. How was she recognising that them having sex was a mistake for their friendship but yet it seemed to sit so right in her very core, the fact that he had been the one she slept with, in ways saved herself for seemed almost predestined.

How could she feel that way in her soul and externally feel perturbed by the fact she had slept with her best friend. She may not have had sex with guys before but she had experience and from what she knew foreplay and kissing and caressing had never made her body feel the things she had last night.

It was _inexplicable_ what had transpired between them and he had to have felt it too - it had shaken something _deep_ inside of her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

'Where'd you run off too?' Jake mumbled sleepily as Haley creeped back into the room. She noticed the small smile on his face and figured he hadn't actually noticed that she disappeared for the night.

She was feeling slightly better about it all but only slightly, she was fooling herself if she thought things could just be solved between them by admitting it was mistake and moving forward. But that was their friendship in a nutshell. She was always the over analyser while Nathan was much more at ease. He would make a decision and that would be it. She wondered if he could move on from all this so easily because it was hard for her not to think about it. And she didn't want to think about, her mind just kept going there; remembering. It's like everything he had felt was permanently etched in her brain to torture her for the rest of time.

Despite this silent understanding between her and Nathan of not to speak of what had occurred between them again Haley couldn't go on without being honest with Jake at least with where she stood.

'Jake…' Haley hesitated then before she sat at the end of the bed fumbling with her hands nervously. 'I don't know if I want a relationship right now.' She said honestly as she finally looked up at him.

He just smiled at her seemingly unaffected by her words. 'It's ok Haley, I mean we are just two friends seeing if things couldn't potentially go somewhere, we don't have to put a label on this.'

'I just don't want you to get hurt Jake.' Haley said earnestly. It's not like her and Jake were official that voice in her head countered but that did little to make her feel better about of this whole situation. 'Maybe we should just …'

'You're giving me the were better off as friends speech right? Jake teased trying to quell her nerves, she was awfully on edge.

Haley's lips twitched into a smile. 'I'm saying I don't want anything serious right now so yea I guess maybe I am' She shrugged

'Ok let's just take a step back enjoy today and tonight and see what happens when we're back in New York.'

Haley nodded feeling semi relieved that he was so relaxed about all of this

'You worry too much you know that ...was Nathan really that good of a pretend boyfriend that your calling it off with me?' Jake joked as he hopped out of bed then.

The joke fell completely flat as Haley felt that dread settle in her all over again , would this mistake , would this feeling she wondered ever go away?

**XXXXX**

'What did you do?' Jake said clapping Nathan on the shoulder as he waited in line for the tickets, the gang of them had come to the water park today all in agreement that a day of fun and literally being kids again was what they so badly needed.

'What?' Nathan said as he glanced over in Haley's direction, he was still rather rattled around Jake, he couldn't help it.

'With Haley man…' Jake joked. 'I mean one week with you and she's done with me. Were you that good of a fake boyfriend?' He jibbed.

'How about that bad that she never wants one again..' Nathan joked back struggling with the conflicting feelings arising in him over this news. 'Eh….What did she say to you?' He said scratching the back of his neck nervously, why he so on edge all of a sudden?

'She doesn't want to go out with me…not in those words but basically that.'

Nathan nodded; he really didn't know what to say.

'Did she say anything to you over the week about us?'

Nathan glanced overlooking to see if the girls or Lucas or anyone was nearby to rescue him.

'Nate I wouldn't ask only this just seems so definite, I know we weren't moving fast by an means but she just seems to resolute in this decision.'

'Jake I don't know what to tell you..' Nathan painfully replied desperately seeking anyway to escape this painful conversation.

'I knew I should have come as her boyfriend to this thing I probably would have been getting a lot more than the friends speech this morning.' Jake mused he was trying to play it off with humour but that comment just vexed Nathan , actually the thought of Haley having sex with Jake just threw him for a loop altogether.

'That was a joke, you know I care about Haley too much to rush things.' Jake implied as he looked at the scowl on Nathan face before he walked ahead to the ticket machine.

'You know water parks are usually fun.' Lucas joked as he came up after Jake noticing the scowl on Nathan's face.

Nathan just rolled his eyes.

'What's got into you man. Was her family really that intense?' Lucas said eying Nathan up.

'No It was just harder to lie than I thought it would be.' Nathan said shrugging it off, he could see Lucas really looking at him like he usually did when he tried to figure something out. Nathan knew he needed to get it together or at least pretend he had it together before the guys started hounding him for acting so strangely.

'You and Haley ok?'

'Why does everyone automatically assume there's something wrong with me and Haley when I'm annoyed.' Nathan spat out then

Lucas held up his hands defensively and there was his answer. 'Chill…you just seemed a little off yesterday I'm sure whatever it is ye'll sort out.' He reassured Nathan then as he too went ahead after Jake.

Nathan sighed as Lucas looked at him wearily before he walked away. He really needed to get it together. Thinking about Haley Nathan glanced in the girls direction then where they were lined up across from him and as if she had been also thinking about him in that moment she looked his way, she smiled at him crinkling her nose in the cutest way and that was all he needed. He sent her a soft smile back; everything was going to be fine.

**XXXXX**

'Nathan please.' Haley said throwing out her puppy dog face. 'No one else will do this one with me.' She whined.

Lucas just chuckled beside them knowing Nathan was already doing this before he even agreed, he was always a total goner when Haley used that face on him.

'Hales I'm tired.' He whined back from where he was reclined out his chair. They were all chilling by the pool now having spent hours on the different rides around the park. It was nearing 5 in the evening now and the crowds were dwindling out.

'Come onnn..' She pleaded.' When are we going to be at a waterpark again?'

'I don't know it's not like there's one is all of America.' He mumbled.

Haley rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. 'Yea but when will we be at one together?' She noticed Nathan slip his shades back on over his eyes as though that would make her go away, didn't he know her at all?

Haley smirked then. 'I'll bring you pastries tomorrow morning.'

He was silent for a moment before he responded. 'You're lying.'

Haley scoffed. 'I never lie about pastries you know that.'

That got a chuckle of him as he lifted his sunglasses off his head and glanced at her.

'I'll bring you a cinnamon swirl without the raisons.' She goaded.

there was silence for a couple of minutes as Nathan considered. Haley already had her hand on her hip smirking triumphantly. Oh the many things she had bargained for with this.

'Fine.' Nathan expelled as he popped up from the chair meanwhile Haley jumped up and down giggly. Lucas joked. 'Loser'

'Says the one who could only go on kids rides.' Nathan quipped.

'I don't like heights its nothing to do with the water.'

'Whimp.'

Haley shook her head and the usual banter between the pair.

'Come on Hales.' Nathan said as he smugly walked away from Lucas.

'You two are terrible.' She commented as they walked up the steps to the rides.

'He is such a whimp.' Nathan wouldn't let up.

'Do we need to mention the armband situation?' Haley said with a cocked eyebrow.

'You said you'd never mention that again and that's twice this trip.' Nathan reminded her.

Haley just chuckled and Nathan smiled, it was nice that things felt just right between them, he had missed this.

'You're like a kid Hales I don't know where you get all your energy.'

'I don't get why people come to waterparks and want to lie out by the pool we can do that at home.' Haley mused.

'These people come and use the rides and then like to lay out..its called relaxing.' Nathan retorted playfully.

'Whatever this is way more fun.' She quipped.

'So am I going to have to put you down for a nap before tonight?'

'Shut up.' She jibbed elbowing him in the side. 'Ugh I don't know how I feel about going to a club on the last night.'

'It might be fun we haven't really got to do anything like that.' Nathan said.

'I guess.' Haley mumbled as they came to the top of the steps. She grabbed the double dingy then and Nathan came around to help laughing as it almost swallowed her whole.

'Maybe it would be easier with two singles.'

'The last two rides are doubles only and Brooke wouldn't do them with me.'

'Ah so you were using me to get what you wanted.'

'Oh shut up you know you're going to love it.' Haley goaded as Nathan smirked. 'They do look fun.'

Holding the dingy between them Nathan and Haley stepped up into the pool area before their turn to go down the slide. Nathan dropped the dingy in the water before sitting into it his legs stretching out at the side as he motioned for Haley sit between him. Haley stepped her toes in grimacing a little at the cold water that had seeped its way in before sitting down. She gasped a little as she felt Nathan grab hold of her waist and pull her back flush against him.

'You ok?' Nathan asked as he heard her gasp.

'Y…yea..' Haley replied shakily. 'It's just a little cold.

'Wait until we come out the other end.' Nathan goaded.

Haley felt her heartbeat skyrocket as those images evaded her mind, her whole body was suddenly like a livewire from his touch and she closed her eyes willing them away from her mind, trying to calm herself.

_Haley tried to rub her tights together desperate for some friction but as she felt Nathan push further in between them she let out an embarrassingly loud moan as his hardened member rubbed against her._

_she felt him everywhere moulding into her._

_She tasted him everywhere, on her tongue, on her neck, his hands were callous and rough as he caressed her. _

What sort of sick joke was this? Here she was having fun with her best friend, doing something they had done loads of times before even as kids, even as teenagers and now she was thinking about sex.

Nathan held back the groan as he felt Haley in those ridiculously skimpy white bikini bottoms practically rub up against his cock in his swim pants. He closed his eyes willing those thoughts away feeling his heart thump wildly in his chest, completely disturbed over his reaction to her right now given the situation. He almost let out a sigh of relief when he felt Haley pull away from him before the confusion took its place.

Haley jumped up without a second though, she was aware the people in the line behind them were staring at her, she knew the lifeguard was looking at her rather bemused, she couldn't care all she knew was she couldn't sit there a second longer with Nathan pressed behind her like that, it had _completely freaked_ her out.

'Hales…' His confused tone broke her out of her trance then as she looked down at him and found her eyes trailing his body. _Fucking hell, eyes to face Haley, on his face….best friend, best friend, best friend_. She chanted to herself desperate to break this hellish spell that seemed to be cast over her mind.

Nathan watched her eyes and he cursed to himself, he'd obviously got a hard on and freaked her out but as he glanced down he noticed he hadn't. So why had she jumped up? And why was she looking at him like that? 'Come on sit down.' He found himself saying then unsure of why it was him convincing her all of a sudden seen as she was the one who wanted to do this.

'Sorry..I can't it's…it's too high.' She mumbled and she skipped out of the water basin just as it was coming up their turn.

Nathan hopped out dragging the dingy with him before dropping it by the slide much to the lifeguard's display as he ran after her. Haley was high tailing it down like two steps at a time.

'Haley…' He called her but she just kept going.

Haley got to the bottom of the steps feeling the beads of sweat dripping down her neck, she heard him calling her and she just hoped when she turned around it was her best friend she saw and not someone else standing in his place. Her mind seemed to be caught between two different Nathan's now, the one she had always known and the one she was seemingly craving and it was frightening, she was actually going crazy.

Reluctantly turning around Haley expelled a deep breath as she saw her best friend coming towards her with that look. _Yep I am going crazy._ But the spell was broken. It was Nathan, her Nathan and nothing more.

'What the hell?' Nathan said when he came up towards her completely baffled.

Haley shrugged at him sheepishly. 'It was too high I freaked out ok.'

'Freaked out?' Nathan retorted. 'Freaked out Haley is oh god Nathan I'm not sure if I can do this…you practically high tailed it out of there down 3 flights of stairs.'

'Oh quit over-reacting you didn't even want to do it.'

Nathan just stood there with his mouth agape, he honestly did not even know how to process this, she wasn't making any sense whatsoever. 'And you're the one who practically pulled me out of my chair to do it, the slides you were on were just as high as that Haley and you were on your own!'

'Those ones are the highest.' Haley said. 'Come on let's just go back to the pool.' She said refusing to get into this little tiff with him because he was right for how he was acting now, she knew she completely confused him but there was no way she could actually voice what was really concerning her, in fact she didn't want to think of it again.

Haley walked on ahead the as Nathan just stood there. 'What the hell just happened?'

**XXXXX**

'I feel like we haven't gotten any girl time this trip.' Brooke mused as she curled her hair. 'It's a shame Quinn and them weren't staying tonight she seems really nice Haley.'

'She is just like you when clubbing.' Haley joked.

'What dropping low and picking up slow?' Brooke teased.

'Exactly.' Haley jibbed.

'Listen Haley I'm sorry about Jake, it is totally my fault I practically told him to book with us, he was so unsure and I kept telling him how are you supposed to get the girl when you're acting like a pansy…'

'Please tell me you didn't say that.'

Brooke shrugged.

Haley sighed. 'He's lovely Brooke. I mean I went to school with the guy I always knew he was nice but I'm not sure if it will be anything more.'

'Well maybe if you had some sneaky foreplay you might find out.' Brooke teased.

Haley just rolled her eyes as she brushed her blonde locks out, Brooke had straightened them with a light curl in at the ends, she looked different but she liked it.

'I'm sorry though I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.'

'you don't need to apologise. He still wants to take me out when I get back to New York.'

'Well I'd never say no to free food and drink..'

The girls just laughed then. 'You're terrible you know that?' Haley joked rhetorically.

'So I've been told by Lucas….in bed….nightly.'

Haley slapped her as Brooke giggled. 'Stop with the mental image.'

'Oh come on Haley, you can't tell you haven't had least thought about it once when you were growing up, he's hot…'

'Please he's like my brother…' Haley huffed.

'What about Nathan?'

'What about him?' Haley quipped remembering having a very similar form of conversation the first time she met Brooke.

'I mean you'd have to be blind to not think he's hot, tell me you've at least thought about it.'

Haley rolled her eyes fixing her dress as she felt her cheeks burning up.

'The silent treatment I get it.' Brooke mused. 'But if he's anything like Lucas I bet he's hung like….'

'Brooke that's my best friend you're talking about.' Haley admonished as she skitted out of the bathroom to the mini bar.

'What?' Brooke played along smirking after her friend. 'You can still appreciate.'

Haley felt her cheeks heating up as she pulled out a mini bottle of wine for the them to drink while they were waiting to meet the guys.

'Oh we need to get like college level tipsy tonight and forget all our problems back in New York.' Brooke mused then and Haley laughed, for once it didn't sound like such a bad idea.

**XXXXX**

Haley actually felt rather buzzed as she got to the bar ordering herself a gin, or a vodka? What was it? God she was struggling to remember at this stage.

They had come to the Grazia bar and nightclub across from the hotel for the night which was in a stunning setting jutting out onto the lake, a far cry from the usual nightclubs in the city that Haley preferred to stay away from.

She had spent most of the night dancing with Brooke, not a whole lot with Jake he was being really respective and she knew he felt a little awkward around her now given the weird status they found themselves in and well Nathan, she'd barely seen him, he was most likely off with some girl considering it was the first night he was free to do so. She didn't know why but that seemed to unnerve her a little considering they had slept together the other night.

It's not like she was jealous, she couldn't possibly be, it was more an uncomfortableness that she couldn't shake off.

She hadn't thought back much over how she'd lost her virginity, it's not like Haley had been saving herself for the perfect moment, she just didn't want to do it until it had felt right and despite how wrong it had been for their friendship it had still felt right that night so she didn't regret the way she lost it but she was equally troubled by that fact.

And now this unsettling feeling in her tummy only unnerved her even further, its partially why she just wanted to let go and enjoy a few drinks, she was so tired of it all. She thought these strange feelings and second guessing would just magically go away the moment they sorted things out, it was done now, she had sex she could move on and maybe have it again with someone else. But somewhere deep inside of her that thought just didn't sit right.

Sighing Haley took her vodka or whatever it was at this stage and gulped it back.

'Woah….easy there.' His husky voice washed over her then, it's was like all her senses were on high alert, everything about him was different; his voice, the smell of his aftershave which she was so familiar with just smelled so damn sexy and the way his shirt was messily crumpled up at the sleeves, _holy god._ There was that spell again.

Nathan watched as Haley licked her lips before placing the glass down on the bar and he felt his cock twitch in his pants. _What was wrong with him?_ She did that all the time but now she just looked like such a temptress as he watched her eyes slightly glazed telling him she'd had maybe a little more than was usual for her. Almost involuntarily his eyes scanned her body drinking her in, she was standing there in a little black mini dress that seemed to accentuate her shapely figure, her blonde locks were unusually straight falling over her shoulders with a slight kink to the ends and damn if she didn't look utterly ravishing.

Haley whipped around to him then breaking him from his trance and that sweet scent that was so familiar yet surprisingly provocative evaded his scenes so much so that he almost groaned.

'So where is she, we both know you don't come to the bar to get a girl a drink unless she is hanging off you.' Her tone wasn't insinuating more playful and jokey like it always was regarding Nathan's attempt to find a woman when they went out clubbing.

Hating how his control seemed to be slipping around her and afraid she was going to pick up on that Nathan retaliated a little cheekily. 'Careful Hales, people might think it's you considering how close you are.' He teased as he grabbed his beer and winked at her before walking away.

Haley stood there with her mouth agape. What the fuck did he think he was playing at? Sure they had banter like that loads of times before but Nathan was playing with fire acting that way considering what had just happened between them, it actually annoyed her that he seemed to have the upper hand and he was enjoying it.

She felt herself slipping and falling under that spell even more and it just wasn't fair, was she really alone in this? Had Nathan come out completely unaffected?

Haley knew she too was playing with fire now but there was only one way to find out and put her mind at ease. If her mind was being plagued like this there was no way she was going through it alone. Maybe it was the drink in her system heightening her boldness, she didn't care, she could have some fun with this.

She wanted to see him squirm.

Nathan was trying to hold back his eye roll as the brunette girl..Alicia, Alexia..Alex or something like that dug her nails into his arm. It's not like he was after some girl but a little bit of distraction in the club would be no harm, anything to quell his mind from thinking about Haley in ways he shouldn't be. He had been doing so good coasting along like nothing had changed between them and then he sees her in a fucking black dress which he had seen millions of times before and all of a sudden he seemed to crave her. When he was at the bar alongside her all he could smell was her and it ignited this desperate need to taste her again, his body was craving her he knew that, his mind was reeling over that fact and slightly tormented by it because this was his best friend.

He felt like he was been punished, he'd never had this type of craving from sleeping with a woman before, he usually could move on from it, it was just another reason he didn't last in relationships, the sex wasn't even a staying factor but god did he crave Haley , surely this was some sick and evil reprimand for having crossed that line in the first place.

And it's like his body just screamed out in relief when he felt her grab onto him pulling him from the group of strangers he found himself with before she pushed him back against the wall.

'Haley what are you….' Nathan couldn't help the low moan that escaped him as he felt Haley's tongue tease his neck so lightly sucking and biting. Her hand travelled down his shirt so delicately which had him whimpering before she cupped him outside his jean pants.

Fuck…Jesus Christ what was she doing, was she really that drunk? His body just seemed to give into it completely and he unwillingly bucked himself against her hand seeking more despite the fact it was Haley doing it to him.

Haley smirked against his neck, she'd gotten the response she wanted, the response she needed to realise this wasn't all her. He could have pushed her off right away without a second thought but there was something so empowering feeling him react this way because of her touches.

It should have been enough; she'd gotten her answer and it was time to pull away from him but she was struggling with that fact. Maybe if she could just give her body a few more blissful moments, he tasted so god damn sexy…his neck had a light coating of sweat, and the saltiness mingled with the taste of him was enough to have her throbbing.

'There's a guy over there….at the bar.' She got out as she licked up his neck and whispered in his ear.

_What guy?_ He wanted to say, this was usual for them, they'd often use each other on night's out, pretend to be each other's partner to escape unrelenting pursuers which were usually after Haley but god they never played the role this damn good.

Actually the pair of them were usually disgusted by it.

He strained to see the bar where the guy was but everything was clouding over him, she was so god damn intoxicating, her hair tickled against his neck, the way she was sucking down on him as her hand delicately cupped him and stroked him ever so gently had his cock growing painfully hard and the desperation was building within him again.

This couldn't be happening, they had to stop, they were in a club for god's sake and anyone could see them, he knew Haley would be completely embarrassed by this in the morning. Just as he opened his eyes his body immediately felt the loss of her as she pulled back looking at him through slightly glassy eyes before pulling away from him completely.

And he knew he should have let her go, she was right to pull away when she did, effectively saving them but Nathan was always one to react in the immediate moment and right now he hadn't had enough.

She needed air to break the spell that had been clouding over her mind and she desperately sought something to take her back down to earth. Bolting out of one of the side door which led to the bar's daylight sunbathing area Haley paced down the brown decking steps until she got to the grassy area overlooking the lake.

The anticipation of the most delirious form of pleasure that she knew she could receive was still racing through her veins and she tried to will it away, she could still taste him on her lips and if she hadn't so much to drink she wouldn't have thought twice about jumping into that lake and washing this all away from her.

God those thoughts had completely sobered her up now and she found herself struggling to retaliate against her body which seemed to be betraying her because she was achingly wet for him.

'Hales..' Nathan said semi breathlessly as he caught up with her, the way her nickname fell from him had the tingles shooting up her spine. She was afraid to turn around, she didn't want him to see the desire in her eyes because she knew it was wrong to be feeling like this.

Nathan was in desperate need for more and he knew deep down somewhere again this move was wrong, that it wasn't the right move to make but the craving seemed to be his only locus of control right now, his cock was still painfully hard from her ministrations and he knew she felt it from the low gasp that escaped her as he came up behind her pushing himself into her; he wanted her to feel it.

He pulled her hair back to one side dancing his fingers in feather light touches around her neck as he kissed her so gently sucking on her skin there. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he felt her sink back against him. 'Nathan…what are you…oh god.' She whimpered out as she felt his hands slowly lower and dip in between her dress, her thighs were so hot and damp he groaned against her neck already sensing how completely soaked she was.

'Oh god…' Haley whimpered out as one finger brushed up against her panties so delicately while he continued working his tongue against her neck, that coupled with the feeling of his hard cock had Haley completely delirious. 'You have to stop…' She moaned out not wanting him to stop at all, this felt so deliciously good and wicked at the same time.

'I can't…' Nathan mumbled against her neck and as if to prove his point further he pressed his thumb hard against her clit in a ferocious circular motion building up his pace moaning as he heard Haley's moans coming fast and heavy…'Jesus Nathan…ugh….oh my..' She was practically gyrating on his cock now as he continuously worked over her clit at such a ferocious rhythm it had that tingling feeling building to combustion all too soon as her orgasm completely took hold of her. 'That's it.' Nathan said so seductively against her ear as he slowed down his thumb hearing her whimper mercifully.

Nathan slipped his hand from under her dress then turning her in his arms as he plunged his tongue into her hot and awaiting mouth without warning, both groaning in complete satisfaction at the taste of each other again. It was confusingly addicting for them both, Haley could feel it, she was losing all sense of herself as she completely gave into the kiss arising those insanely lustful sensations within her.

Nathan began to walk Haley backwards never breaking the kiss before he guided her down onto the grass, his mouth attached to her neck as he continued to lick and suck his way down to her pulse point thoroughly enjoying the lustful whimpers that's were falling from her lips. Haley was mildly aware of where they were, but only mildly and just like the last time everything external outside of themselves just seemed to fade away against the submissive pleasure that was coursing through her veins. She moaned out loud again feeling Nathan's hand dance teasingly up her thighs right towards her centre before he pulled his hand back down and she whimpered in frustration hearing his husky chuckle vibrating against her neck.

God when did his laugh actually make her feel even more aroused? Haley couldn't help but smile because despite what was occurring between them, him annoying her and laughing at her like that brought her a calming sense of familiarity, a warm flow rushed through her veins. As he continued devouring her neck Haley brought her hands down slowly hearing his breath hitch as she popped his button and slid down the zipper before slipping her hand inside and cupping him. 'Fuck Haley.' Nathan struggled to get out as he almost lost all sense of himself, she hadn't touched him like that the last night and god did her petite hand feel so good wrapped around his length, it shouldn't have felt that good. As Haley started running her thumb along the tip of his cock Nathan couldn't help the low moans that escaped him as he completely paused the ministrations on her neck.

Clearly he hadn't been expecting that giving his reaction and Haley smirked, it was most likely the alcohol consumed adding to her boldness tonight but there was no way she was letting Nathan have the upper hand teasing her like that. She began pumping a little faster delighting in the moans of pleasure coming from him and she too found herself throbbing. she actually needed him inside of her and she didn't want to think too much about the implication of that thought, it was simply her body craving it.

'Haley….I'm not gonna…last…' He barely got out as he began sucking on her neck again trying to distract himself from the need to cum in her hand, he had to be inside of her.

Haley paused her ministrations as her hands went to the hem of her dress and she sat up a little pulling it off her, she watched his eyes darken even more like the black of the night surrounding them as he drank her in. Leaning in Nathan kissed her softly his body covering over hers then as he felt her pushing down on his boxers and jeans until he was completely shed of them. He gripped Haley's panties pulling them off her body before he buried himself inside of her resting his head by her shoulder he began to pick up the pace knowing it really wasn't going to be able to hold off long tonight, hell he was ready to explode as soon as her warm hand had encased him.

God she felt so incredible, her warmth just wrapped around his cock clenching in with each thrust inwards, her name was fallen from his lips in breathless whispers as he continued to drive into her feeling her legs stretching out ad she wrapped them around him digging him into her more and more. 'God Hales…'

'Nathan…' Haley whimpered as she felt herself pushing towards the merciful brink of pleasure. He was hitting that spot within her every single time he was so big, seconds later Haley felt her whole-body quivering beneath him as her orgasm completely consumed her. The combination of Nathan's member pounding into her, the warmth of his body against the cool spikes of the grass beneath her brought a pleasure that was so wicked she craved it even more. Watching Haley ride out her orgasm like that, completely succumbing to the pleasure had Nathan letting go right after her as he released his load inside of her collapsing his head on her slick shoulder trying to regulate his breathing.

The pair laid like that for several minutes, all that could be heard in the stillness of the night was their heavy almost sinful breathing from their impassioned lovemaking.

Seconds later Nathan felt Haley's hands pressing against his chest as she pushed him. Moving off of her Nathan noticed Haley wouldn't even look in his direction as she leaned over grabbing her dress quickly pulling it on her.

'Hales…' He began rather cautiously then only she shook her head as if signalling she couldn't hear him speak, not like that, not after what they did _again._

She scrambled to her feet in a state of distress pulling her heels from the grass.

'Haley…please don't go.' Nathan got out his breathing still a little ragged.

She turned to face him then catching his eyes before she looked down at herself. 'I'm sorry…I can't'

Haley ignored the prying eyes as she slipped on her heels and walked around the decking outside the bar before down to the ground floor outside. She could feel the tears threatening to spill but she fought them so hard, she wouldn't cry again when she had put herself in this situation again. She quickly crossed the street to their hotel slipping off her heels as she came in the door going straight for the lift. When the doors slid open revealing an empty lift she leaned back against the mirror and finally allowed the tears to escape. What was happening to her? To them? How could they let it go so far? Why did it feel so damn good? Why couldn't she stop it? Why was she craving him?

Did their friendship mean nothing? Doing this was like a one-way ticket to its destruction and yet Haley felt powerless to stop.

She wanted to get off this god damn island and fast.

Nathan wasn't sure how long he sat on the grass for in the peaceful moonlight, he glanced at his phone again feeling the sickness swarm in him as the screen stared back at him mockingly. He tried to ring her knowing she wouldn't pick up.

Who was even at fault this time? To give into it again was like going down a path of self-destruction, with every kiss and caress he was surrendering his best friend to the wicked pleasure that enveloped him but it was too much, too overwhelming and he knew in that moment if it happened again, if he so much as got a taste of her again he would be powerless to stop it.

Sighing Nathan opened up the boarding pass on his phone grimacing at their early flight time, they wouldn't be able to hide out forever that was for sure and for the first time since coming here Nathan felt that going back to New York wasn't going to be there one saviour after all.

**So the next chapter will be them trying to adjust to all this as they get back to their lives in New York. Thanks so much for all your reviews, there is lots more to come in this story! :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much for all your reviews I love reading them :) :) **

**Chapter 9 **

Sharp, quick, flighting, small semi chirpy greetings and farewells , closed bedroom doors ,,,that pretty much summed up life for Nathan and Haley since they had got home from New York on Monday. It was now Friday night.

So now they seemed to be caught up in the avoidance game, drawing against each other, each team tied.

No one desiring to win the battle or even lose because either way that would force them to actually come to terms with what had happened.

They had sex _again_.

Nathan wasn't even sure what normal was for them anymore. Normal would be to go back to a place before this wedding had occurred and their lives were just starting here. Nathan willing himself to believe that Haley was happy here and her fading spark was just momentary.

But that place was completely unreachable , he wasn't sure it even existed anymore .

Was Haley really going to stay in this city and if she did what did it mean for them? Could they really just put all this behind them and continue on as normal?

It was usually in those silent moments before sleep that these thoughts would taunt him with the big question boring into his brain, had he feelings for her? He didn't he decided it was just _really good_ sex which maybe wasn't surprising considering how well they knew it each other but he still valued their friendship more, he just didn't know what to do about it.

Hell he never thought he would find himself in this situation, they had survived the raging hormone years, the college years where respective boy and girl friendship usually did evolve to something more if it was ever to happen and now here they were.

They were caught in the crossfire.

'Bill on your ass again?' Jake's teasing broke him from his thoughts as his hands wrung through his raven hair

Great now this was all steeping into his work life , he was actually going stir crazy , Friday night. 5 days since they got home and he just had to speak to Haley, he had to.

'You could say that.' Nathan lied expelling a deep sigh.

Bill was head of the financial department they worked in and he was a royal pain in everyone's ass, he was completely unforgiving , his personal aroma never seared into his business realm and because of that he was unprofessionally hard and condescending .

'What's got you so chirpy?' Nathan said then as Jake was smirking to himself as he tidied up his desk

'It's Friday and unlike you I'm actually going home from work.' Jake goaded.

Nathan just shook his head at him.

'In all seriousness Nate don't be that guy.'

'It's only cause I've just started I want to make a good impression.'

'It starts out this way and before you know you end up like them, married to your job. Trust me there's more to it than all this.'

'It sounds like you're speaking from experience.' Nathan commented.

Jake shrugged. 'My dad never realised he had a family, still doesn't.'

Nathan nodded in understanding. 'You got plans tonight?'

'I'm surprised Haley didn't tell you.' Jake said as he threw his briefcase bag over his shoulder.

'I haven't seen Haley much since we got back.' Nathan mumbled then.

'Well I'm gigging down in Saunders tonight, Haley and Brooke are popping in. Anyways I'll see ya at Brooke's show tomorrow, don't stay to long.'

'C ya Jake' Nathan said but he was already out the door. He sighed as he glanced at the computer screen, was it even worth staying on when his head just wasn't in the right frame of mind? He knew he had to talk to Haley before Brooke's event tomorrow and even if the event wasn't on he couldn't continue like this.

He just couldn't have another week like this.

**XXXXX **

Coming into the foyer Haley threw her coat off and hung it behind the door as she heard the faint sound of the tv coming down the hallway. She came into their living area smiling at Nathan's form completely sprawled out on the couch still in his work clothes, his tie loosely hanging from his neck. Why did he just flop down and watch tv in his work clothes, she always had to change into comfies to the extent where she wouldn't watch a movie with Nathan unless he did too.

She sat at the corner of the couch where his feet rested pushing into them a bit. 'Nathan…' She half spoke and whispered.

He mumbled a little as he came out of his hazy slumber and smiled sheepishly at her. All weirdness and avoidance between them seemed to be forgotten in that moment. 'Hey..' He said a little raspy and Haley just shook her head at him.

'You know usually I'm the one that falls asleep when the movie is on.'

He pulled himself up into a sitting position then as he really looked at her. Haley's hair was tied up in a stylish messy ponytail, she had a on a burgundy dress with a low neckline and ¾ length sleeves, it was simple, elegant but absolutely stunning on her.

'You look nice.' He said then smiling at her.

Haley smiled back at him as she found her heart thumping in her chest. He always told her she looked nice but still it sat with her differently. 'Thanks.' Haley mumbled as she bent down to slip off her heels.

'Did you have a good time?' Nathan said then as he lowered the volume on the movie a little.

'Yea it was fun, Brooke is still there she was drinking a lot. I just couldn't stay out any longer I've been out almost every night this week' She sighed softly as she tossed her heels aside and sat back up glancing at the tv trying to figure out what movie Nathan was watching.

'I figured when you weren't around when I got home from work any evening' Nathan said. 'It's not like you.' He added on quietly then and she met his gaze as he spoke.

'Well in case you haven't noticed I haven't really been acting like myself lately.' She said softly before she turned back towards the telly.

Nathan swallowed hard at her words.

He sighed. 'Hales….are we ever going to talk about this?' He forced them words out as he waited with baited breath, he never remembered been so nervous and apprehensive around his best friend.

'What?' she questioned stupidly, anything to hold this off any a second longer.

'All of it.' Nathan mumbled a little sadly.

She finally looked his way then and she really looked at him, the worry lines etched across his forehead looked permanent at this stage, she was sure he'd worn them all week, under his eyes were sunken in and darker than usual. She wanted to reach out to him but she held herself back. 'It's no one's fault, we both made a mistake…twice.' She sighed why were those words so difficult to get out. The mere act of talking about it had her remembering, she had to peel her gaze away from him in that very moment.

Nathan felt those words sting more than the first time and he didn't know why but he chose to push on from that temporary reaction and push forward with what he knew needed to happen with all of this; forget and move on. 'I don't want things to ever be weird between us Haley, we've never gone days without speaking before..'

'We;; technically we did when you were 15 and I told Theresa we were dating because I didn't like her…' Haley said smiling at how annoyed Nathan had become over that.

Nathan chuckled then, the laughing breaking the heaviness between them. 'Ture but I think it was 4 days because I was flumping calculus and I had to talk to you during that tutoring session.'

Haley smiled back at him then her nose crinkling at the memory. 'You were so petty that morning.'

'And you had no right!'

She chuckled; he had said those exact same words to her that morning too. 'I saved you a visit to the STI clinic and god knows how many more.'

Nathan chuckled then; his laugh so gravelly it had the hairs standing on her arms.

'Come here.' Nathan said as he shuffled towards her pulling her in for a hug. She hugged him tightly as he rested his head in the crook of her neck …_he guided her down onto the grass, his mouth attached to her neck as he continued to lick and suck his way down to her pulse point thoroughly enjoying the lustful whimpers that's were falling from her lips._

Haley felt Nathan completely tense seconds later and she pulled back looking at him rather oddly seeing those worry lines etched across his face again. 'You ok?'

He was completely rattled by the images pooling in his mind as he pulled away from her, her familiar perfume mixed with her own scent that he knew tasted so god damn sweet attacked his senses. _Fuck._ Haley was looking at him strangely. 'Yea…sorry.' Nathan stuttered then as he pulled back so her arms dropped completely from him. He needed air.

'I just thought of something I was mean to have handed in before Monday I forgot it.' He lied.

Haley looked at him sceptically and he held his breath. She rolled her eyes and he expelled a sigh of relief. He knew he'd opened a new can of worms with that comment but it was easier that dealing with the former problem.

'Can you just promise me that you'll work 9-5 next week?' Haley said, she didn't want to start into him about how late he'd worked tonight or any other night this week for that matter, he was tired and a little on edge all of a sudden, it was never a good combination.

'I can't promise but I'll try.' Nathan admitted and sent her a small smirk.

It didn't reach his eyes and that made her feel sad.

'Let's get to bed.' She said then as she pulled herself up from the couch. 'We've Brooke's fashion show tomorrow so I thought we could get her something nice to remember her first show by.'

'Sounds riveting.' Nathan said and Haley just elbowed him. 'You love shopping with me, don't deny it!'

**XXXXX**

'Nathan…' Haley whined. 'You're not helping me, the yellow or the black?' She said stomping her foot like a petulant child.

'The yellow.' He answered back to her as he continued hanging all his dry-cleaned work shirts up without so much as looking in her direction.

_God he was infuriating._ 'You didn't even look.'

'Haley I'm a little busy here.'

'Well I can't do my make up or my hair for that matter until I know what top I'm wearing unless you suggest I go naked to this thing.'

Nathan just chuckled at how over-dramatic she was being.

'Stop laughing at me.'

He rolled his eyes good naturedly. 'Hales I think you should go take a bath and relax for a while…' He reasoned.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' She quipped as she still held the two tops in her hands. She was mildly aware she was snapping at him a little but her patience was waning when he kept laughing at her.

Having spent the last 3 hours sniping at each other like a god damn married couple while shopping for their apartment, Nathan's laid back, careless attitude was grating on her. She knew he was only doing it to wind her up.

He peeked his head out from behind his wardrobe then. 'Is it safe? You're not going to throw one of those at me are you?'

Haley smiled despite herself. 'Can you be serious for like a second?' She pouted.

'Hales you're serious enough for the two of us right now!' He goaded.

'Fine.' She admitted in defeat, she knew she hadn't let up all day. 'You know how I get about these things.'

'And I told you, you can decorate the apartment as you want as long as it's not pink.'

'I would like if you had an opinion on something.' Haley lamented.

Nathan hung up his last shirt then as he strolled over to her and rested his hands on her shoulders. 'Yellow, without a doubt.' He smiled as she mumbled a shy thank you and smiled softly at him. 'Is there something else? You seem really tense..' He commented softly then as he rubbed her shoulders softly.

She felt his caresses sparking every part of her body like a livewire, it's like her body was responding to him in a completely different way now every time he touched her. When her eyes met his it was like they were caught in some weird reverie.

Nathan dropped his hands from her shoulders as if she scorched him and he immediately took a step back as one hand went up to scratch the back of his head. She bit her lip as she watched him. What had they even been talking about? Why were things suddenly so weird between them again?

'I'm….' Haley berated her voice for coming out so shaky. 'I'm going to go get ready, Brooke said to be there for 7.' She said then and watched as he nodded at her before she quietly left his room.

XXXXX

'You look gorgeous.' Brooke squealed as Haley and Nathan came up towards her. Haley was dressed in black skinny jeans with a yellow halter top and yellow heels. Her hair was styled in a sleek ponytail. Nathan was dressed in a black shirt and dark jeans.

'What about me?' Nathan goaded to which Haley rolled her eyes playfully.

'You know you look gorgeous.' Brooke teased back.

'Fair enough.' Nathan said.

'I'm so nervous.' Brooke squealed even louder then and Nathan grimaced. 'No kidding.'

'Nerves are good right and you've nothing to worry about your clothes are great.' Haley said.

'Yea it's more so if Serena finds out I showcased my clothes at this I don't know what's going to happen.'

Brooke's clothes were being shown at a fashion show for emerging designers, while she was interning for fashion company she didn't design for them.

'This is a good thing Brooke; they'll want you to keep you or if they don't like that you did this well this will be proof that you can do it alone.' Haley said then.

'Thanks girlie I really needed that.' Brooke smiled. 'And thanks for being here, you too Nathan.'

'Oh I just came for the models.' He teased.

Brooke rolled her eyes at him. 'Your best friend could be a model.'

'That's true, she's just a little short.'

Haley gave him a dig in the side. 'You're mean.'

'You love me.' Nathan joked as he grabbed onto her arms pulling them back so she couldn't hit him.

'Nathan let go..'

Brooke eyed them strangely. 'I swear you two are just like a married couple minus all the hot sexual tension.'

Their laughing abated immediately. Nathan let go of Haley's hands.

'What?' Brooke said amused. 'You two are looking at me like I've never said that comment.'

'I'm gonna get us a drink.' Nathan said then as he left the girls.

'Haley!'

Haley turned around at the familiar voice and squealed as Peyton came towards her. 'Oh my god what are you doing here?' The girls gave each other a big hug as Brooke smiled at them. 'You knew.' Haley said to Brooke as they pulled apart.

Duh I invited her.' Brooke teased as they laughed.

'I rang Brooke yesterday and said I was coming in she told me about all this.' Peyton explained. 'I wanted to surprise you.'

'This is such a nice surprise.' Haley smiled.

'You're designs make me look even hotter if that's possible.' A red head girl spoke smugly as she strutted out from the back area and came up beside Brooke.

Peyton gave Haley a look.

'Girls this is my model Rachel.'

'Holy fuck…' Rachel cursed as Nathan came into view and came up beside them. Before he even had a chance to acknowledge Peyton she had her hand out to him. 'I'm Rachel and you're almost as hot as me.'

Nathan scoffed. 'Nathan….and thanks.' He said as he looked up to where to source of laughter was coming from. 'Peyton….' He said wide-eyed as he pulled her in for a hug.

'Long time Nate.' She smiled as they pulled back.

'So what is this some school reunion or something?' Rachel quipped.

'You could say that.' Peyton said. 'I went to school with Nathan and Haley and they met Brooke in college.'

Rachel shrugged. 'Whatever, guess I'll see you later.' She said pointedly towards Nathan before she sauntered off back into the dressing room.

'Your model is a bitch.' Peyton said.

'Says you.' Nathan chuckled as Peyton slapped him on the arm.

'Yea but she looks good in my clothes so you win some you lose some.'

'How long you in town for Peyt?

'Until Wednesday.'

'Sweet.' Haley said. 'I'm so glad you're here.' She pulled her in for another hug then and Nathan smiled, he knew how happy Haley was that Peyton was here. She had missed her so much when they moved away to college.

**XXXXX**

'And that's why I'm here, I just needed a break Haley….I don't know if I want to stay in L.A but it's the best place for Julian's work and it's like all of a sudden we have this big decision to make.'

'You two will figure it out Peyton, you'll make it work.' Haley said resolutely.

Peyton nodded in agreement as they both knocked back their second shot. The show had ended about an hour ago and everyone was enjoying a few drinks, the girls had snuck away to a quiet corner. 'So what gives girlie…I've rambled about Julian for an hour and you're being super quiet which is…'

'I slept with Nathan.' Haley said super-fast and she grimaced then.

'WHAT..? Hold on…you and Nathan….you had sex….WHAT?'

'Will you shush?' Haley admonished as she looked around self-consciously.

'Haley you can't just tell me that and then tell me to be quiet…we've been sitting here and hour!' Peyton's mouth was wide open in shock.

'No one knows…' Haley mumbled as she glanced at Peyton whose mouth was still wide open.

'Well how was it?' Peyton finally asked.

Haley filled the shot glass again knocking it back.

Peyton smirked. 'Oh my god…..that good huh?'

'Peyton stop!'

'Oh no Haley you cannot just tell me you've not only gave it up but with Nathan of all people an then leave me in the lurch…this is HUGE!'

Haley's grimace turned into a sad pout as she idly played with the shot glass on the table.

Peyton's surprised smile soon faded when she caught the look on Haley's face. 'OH no…'

'What?' Haley said as she glanced up at her then.

'You have feelings for him..' Peyton gasped out.

'What? NO! What would make you think that?'

Peyton gave her an obvious look and Haley just rolled her eyes. 'You just seem different that's all.' She supplied then.

'I don't have feelings for him I promise, I still look at him as my best friend….maybe that's what's weird you know, god I've been driving myself crazy since it happened.'

'Well did you two talk about it?'

'Kind of….not a lot, we just seemed to have glossed over it.' Haley sighed then.

'Well it sounds like you two need to actually talk about it properly.' Peyton said as she filled up her shot glass.

'What are you drinking for now?' Haley said shaking her head.

'This….I need a drink.' Peyton teased then as she lightened the conversation. 'God Haley I always thought you two might in school but I never expected it now. Can I ask how it happened?'

Haley filled up her shot glass again before glancing back at Peyton who was smiling at her knowingly. 'We got into a fight , things had been tense between us before that…I think we were just letting what everyone was saying about us get inside our heads anyways one minute we were arguing the next he kissed me and you know the rest…' Haley begrudgingly supplied as she knocked back her shot. 'Please stop smiling.' She mumbled then.

'I'm sorry it's just….wow.'

'So this is where you two have been hiding?' Nathan said then as he popped up beside the girls, both of them looked like they had been caught doing something very wrong.

Haley felt her cheeks flaming up.

'Okaay…..why do you two look like you're sneaking drink into the place like you used to do in Tric?'

Peyton just smirked. 'We're hiding from Rachel.'

Haley smiled at her relieved she had some answer because she was coming up with nothing right now.

'She's not that bad.' Nathan chuckled.

'You would say that.' Peyton goaded. 'I'm surprised she isn't hanging onto you; she was practically undressing you with her eyes earlier.'

'Nah I've already got the hottest girl on my arm leaving this place…' Nathan teased as he saddled in beside Haley not noticing how tense she was.

'Oh I bet.' Peyton said with a cheeky smirk.

Haley glared at her.

Nathan noted the odd interaction between the two of them.

'I could punch that Nick guy.' Lucas said rather unamused as he sauntered up to the table. Nathan smirked, he knew his brother well and as much as he had convinced him that he fine doing this non-exclusive thing he knew he liked Brooke too much, his pouting and pissed off face right now said it all to clearly.

'You need to tell her man.' Nathan said all too simply.

'What's wrong?' Peyton asked then.

'We are still very much non-exclusive.' Lucas sighed. He and Brooke had begun dating if that was even the word their senior year of college, it was fast approaching a year now and they still seemed to find themselves caught in this warped dating game of cat and mouse.

'Have you spoke about it?'

'Kind of, I mean it's working for us so why mess with it?'

'Clearly it's working for you.' Peyton said as she too noted Lucas obvious annoyance.

'It's seriously messed up man.' Nathan piped up then.

'Says you.' Lucas teased.

'I only sleep with girls I date.'

'Is that so?' Peyton quipped with a smile earning another glare from Haley.

'Exactly that's what I'm doing.' Lucas retorted ignoring Peyton's comment.

'Yea but you're dating Brooke and possibly others as is she so basically you're sleeping around.'

'I haven't slept with anyone else.'

'So doesn't that completely void the non-exclusive scenario?' Nathan chuckled which just earned a glare from his brother.

'Well I'm glad I amuse you.'

'Just tell her man.' Nathan said.

'If only it were that easy.' Lucas mumbled.

'It is you just have to end the nonexclusive crap and if she doesn't want to there's your answer.' Nathan tugged on Haley's arm then. 'Come on let's go before he starts crying.'

Haley digged him in the side. 'Stop being so mean.'

'It's ok I'm used to it.' Lucas quipped.

'Something tells me this is going to come back and bite him in the ass.' Peyton said as she watched the pair leave together.

'What do you mean?' Lucas asked.

'Nothing.' Peyton said softly. She had a sneaky feeling things were about to get a whole lot more complicated or everyone.

**XXXXX**

'Jeez how much did you drink Hales?' Nathan laughed as she grabbed onto his waist tightly, his arm draped across her shoulder as the pair walked, or more or less stumbled along.

'Me and Peyton were doing shots.' Haley giggled before gasping. 'Nate…I'm sorry.' She laughed again despite herself.

'Dammit Haley my toe….'

'I'm sorry.' She pouted.

'For the life of me I don't know why you wear such ugly high heels.' He complained. 'You know we'd be home ten minutes ago if you wore normal shoes.'

'But look at my shoes they're so pretty…tell me they're pretty.' Haley goaded then as she purposefully pointed her foot out causing them to stall.

'Haley I just want to get home..'

'Tell me my shoes are pretty.'

'Fine you're shoes are pretty.' He ranted out as he pulled on her again.

'Nathan you didn't even look.' She admonished as she pulled away from him wobbling a little before she stood her ground.

He couldn't help the smile that came across his face then as he watched her standing there like a petulant child. 'Fine, you're shoes are lovely Haley and that's only because you're the one wearing them.'

A bright smile illuminated her face then as she all but jumped into him. 'Thank you best friend.' She beamed

Meanwhile Nathan tried to ignore the unwanted sensations stirring within him from holding her like this, her legs were wrapped around his waist tightly and I she moved up an inch she would pressing against his cock. Just the thought of that had him dropping her without warning.

Haley wobbled as her heels dropped the ground and she glanced at Nathan catching the dark look in his eyes. It had her swallowing hard. She had been about to give out to him for dropping her to the ground so heedlessly but now….

She watched as he lifted his arm up flagging down a taxi. Wasn't he the one that suggested they walk?

Whatever, Haley was too tired to even argue that point now as Nathan clambered into the taxi and faced out the window on the far side.

'Is everything alright?' Haley asked then as the taxi pulled away from the kerb.

'Perfect.' Nathan said all too easily as he caught her gaze before looking out the window again.

Haley just shrugged not fixating too much on his sudden change in mood giving her slightly buzzed state. She smiled then as she scooted over to him and rested her head on his shoulder. 'I'm really glad Peyton is here.'

Nathan smiled at her words. 'Yea I'm not sure you're going to be saying that come the morning.'

'I need water.' Haley grimaced at the thought.

Nathan chuckled beside her. 'I'm glad Peyton is here too.' He said as he rested his head back and looked out the window. And he was glad, he knew Haley wouldn't admit it, she tried to be strong but she needed Peyton these past few weeks, someone outside of their life here, someone from home.

Nathan was just fixing them a glass of water each when he heard his phone vibrating on the counter where Haley was perched.

'Oh would you look at that…Rachel.' Haley said amused.

Nathan turned around in a flash to see Haley standing there with a mischievous grin on her face as she dangled the phone.

'Haley give me my phone.'

She bit her lip playfully. 'And you told me you wanted to leave,'

'I did want to leave, she put her number in my phone and then I practically ran away from her….don't answer that.' Nathan came over to her then in two quick strides to grab his phone and Haley ducked before she skipped out of the kitchen into their open plan sitting area.

He rolled his eyes, she always got like this when she had a few on her. Nathan was a messy drunk whereas Haley, she was a giddy drunk. 'Haley..' He warned.

'I'm not going to answer her but maybe you should text her.' She goaded.

Nathan rolled his eyes. 'You're annoying you know that?'

'Hi Rachel….I'm sorry I was too shy earlier to talk to…'

'Don't you dare send that Haley…' Nathan paced over to her then and she ducked under him but he caught onto her waist before she could bolt away from him. Smirking Nathan started tickling her weak spot. Haley giggled, her breathing staggered as he tickled her relentlessly. 'Na…na….th….an stop….please…'

'Hand over the phone.' She was squirming against him now, he smirked smugly to himself, didn't she know from the many times before she was way too small to fight off his strength.

Seconds later he heard his phone drop to the floor, both of them reached out to grab tripping into each other in the process. Haley was lying flat on the floor as Nathan leant up on his elbows beside her. She started giggling before Nathan put his hand over her mouth signalling her to shut up as Rachel's voice sounded out through the loudspeaker on the phone. They both held in their laughter then as she kept saying hello before clearly huffing and deadening the call.

They both started laughing then at how plain childish and silly this situation was. Nathan glanced down at her then smiling, her hair was fanning out across the rug, her cheeks flushed, it had been so long since things were like this between them and yet at the same time the whole situation felt alien to him as if it wasn't Haley he was looking down at, at all. It felt strange to be caught between such familiarity yet such foreign instants. Both their laughter was long abated now as Nathan stared down at her, he was pretty she had just said something but he didn't even hear it.

'What?' Haley mumble self-consciously then as she caught Nathan staring down at her. Her heart started thudding in her chest and she wasn't even sure why, maybe because everything suddenly felt dissimilar. Maybe because Nathan looked different, there was something so endearing about his laugh, that childlike laugh she had heard for years and yet right now it seemed to be in conflict with the handsome man that was staring down at her. Her heart started thudding in her chest as she continued to gaze up at him, her breath hitched in her throat as she felt his lips leave lingering delicate kisses along her neckline before running languorouscircles along her pulse point. 'Nathan…' She gasped as a low moan escaped her and involuntarily she turned her head giving him more access.

It was like he didn't even have control of his own body anymore as his mouth worked its way hotly over her neck sucking, licking and biting down on her pulse point he could feel Haley squirming with pleasure beneath him. He moaned as her hand came up raking her nails through his hair holding him there. Nathan felt her tugging roughly then as she pulled him to face her and crashed her lips against his, the pair moaning simultaneously as their tongues slided hotly against each other. Nathan pulled back not breaking the kiss as he guided Haley up with him onto the couch.

His hands were roaming her body and everywhere he touched left a fiery spark in its wake and she felt it all building quickly inside of her, the pleasure and anticipation, all of it just completely overwhelmed her and all thought over the fact they really shouldn't be doing this again was vanished, Haley gasped as Nathan pulled away from her mouth and slipped his finger down her jean pants stroking her clit ever so softly, it was tortuously thrilling and she bucked her hips up against him wanting and needing more.

His fingers moved lower rubbing against her saturated folds towards her centre as he felt just how wet she was for him. 'God you're so wet.' Nathan moaned against her neck as he pulled his hand away much to Haley's loss and began to tug on her jeans, it all seemed to pick up motion then as Nathan pulled on her clothes precariously, his hands were rough, his movements urgent they were both naked in seconds and he wasted no time as he plunged his thick throbbing member inside of her making her moan louder than she ever had before. 'God…Hales.' Nathan moaned out as he heard her loud cries, she was so fucking wet and warm and every time he was inside of her like this is just felt absolute as though he was made to fit her like this. He couldn't dwell on how wrong and dangerous that thought was not now when she was raising her hips up to meet him every time he pushed himself inside filling her to the hilt. Her cries were breathless, hot whimpers now as he picked up the speed and plunged unmercifully inside of her, he knew he really couldn't last long tonight ad he needed Haley right there along with him.

'OH god…..oh god.' She kept shouting, Nathan had never been so rough with her before, ever. Her pleasure was quickly building to its brink , her tummy tightened, she just wanted to hold onto to this blissful edge before her body completely crumbled and surrendered to him crying out his name as she came down from her high. She felt Nathan jerk into her one last time releasing his load, her name falling from his lips in choked whispers as he too found himself coming off that edge of unsurpassable pleasure. His body collapsed beside her, his member still inside of her as their staggered breathing broke through the silence.

Nathan pulled out of her then all too quickly feeling the loss of her warmth as he pulled back. He noticed Haley tur over immediately so her back was facing him and he bit his lip once again feeling completely off kilter around her because he really didn't know what to say now.

How had they gone form their laughing, jokey friendship banter in a matter of seconds to surrending to these compelling, impulsive urges that seemed to be completely unforgiving.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

Nathan woke to the sunlight streaming in through the living room, he rolled over onto his back cringing as his legs cramped up from the way he was lying on the couch. he sighed softly as the events of last night came back to him. How had they even ended up on the couch? Just like the previous two times it all just seemed to happen so fast like. Was Haley going to be more pissed? He initiated it he knew that. His mind plagued him with worrying thoughts that only latched on to this never-ending barrel of doubt inside of him.

He knew one thing for sure though. His friendship with Haley still felt the same, there were no weird feelings there so if this was purely physical they could move on from it in similar fashion as he did to other people he slept with and harboured no real feelings for.

And while sex some may argue could destroy a friendship, he only felt it could where there were real feelings involved. Which just wasn't the case.

_Not at all. _

With newfound resolve, Nathan got off the couch quickly pulling on his boxers, not seeing any sign of Haley he decided to take a shower and just hoped she was in her room and hadn't actually left. Twenty minutes later Nathan came into the kitchen inhaling the glorious smell of coffee.

'Hey…' He said rather shyly then as he came upon Haley pottering about, she was wearing stylish light blue jeans which synched in at her waist with a black belt and a little white tank top. Her blonde hair was tousled up in a ponytail with a fluffy scrunchie. He smiled at that; he'd got her that scrunchie years ago. Such a simple thing which gave him the push to do this.

'Hi…' She said back rather shyly too as she poured him some coffee. 'I thought you left.' She didn't mean her words to sound like she'd wished he had left but they did.

Nathan grimaced a little watching as she pushed his coffee over to him rather than hand it to him like usual. _Are you really going to overthink every little thing now?_

'Hales…'

She sensed where this conversation was going immediately with his trepid change of tone.' Do you have feelings for me?' Haley all but blurted out and she drooped the dish rag then shaking her head at how blasphemous she was been. But the thought had been tormenting her head all morning so much so she'd got up cleaned the kitchen and dressed herself for the day all by 10am.

Nathan smiled, they were so in sync and Haley being true to form really wasn't going to beat around the bush with this. It was one of the many things he found so endearing about, her spirit. 'No I don't' He answered easily, _too easily_ almost. 'And I was about to ask you the same thing.' He teased.

'You were?' She said as she turned to face him then biting her lip a little.

Nathan just shrugged. 'Look how would you feel if I came over there and kissed you right now?'

'Please don't'' He laughed at her panic.

'Exactly.' Nathan conceded. 'See…..what happened, it happened Hales but it was just in the moment…maybe it needed to happen.' He wasn't sure where them words came out of.

'Why would you say that?' Haley said crossing her eyes unsure of where he was going with that statement.

'I don't know, I guess it sort of solidifies the fact that we're friends and nothing is going to change that, not even sex. You don't feel any different, I don't feel any different so I think we can just move on from this without it being such a big thing….'

She allowed his words to sink in as she smiled and then let out a small laugh. 'Solidifies is a big word for you…'

Nathan just glowered at her playfully. 'Funny aren't you?'

'What? I'm impressed, my tutoring paid off even after all this years.' She quipped as that boyish grin adorned his face. 'But it shouldn't happen again…' Haley reasoned softly then as she pulled on the ends of the dish rag left on the countertop.

She was met with his silence for what felt like hours before he spoke up again. 'But if it did….' Nathan hesitated a little then when he caught Haley's surprised face.

'Are you saying what I think you're saying…Nathan you couldn't possibly be thinking that we..'

'Ok just hear me out before you panic…' He interrupted her mid-ramble.

Haley bit her lip already getting a bad feeling about all of this before he even spoke.

'Look the sex is good, _really good_ in fact…'

'Nathan…' Haley admonished feeling her cheeks flame up.

He smirked at the tint colouring her cheeks, usually he'd call her out on it but now was definitely not the time for that. 'I think if either of us had feelings well we wouldn't have slept together 3 times and feel like nothing has changed…'

'But do you hear what you're saying? You're proposing if we were to do this or let this happen again….Nathan we can't..'

'It's kinda like what Brooke and Lucas are doing only better cause there are no feelings involved.'

'Yea and you're the one that was saying their little nonexclusive thing was ridiculous.' Haley fired back.

'Yea because Lucas is in love with her, it's different for us Haley…'

'I actually can't believe we are having this conversation.' She said then shaking her head.

'Well the hot sex last night might have something to do with that.'

Haley went to hit hm with the dish rag but he put his hands up. 'I can't believe you're making light of this Nathan, what we are doing or what we are about to do…I don't even know anymore…' Haley rambled. 'This could end really badly for us!' _How could he not see that?_

'I'm not suggesting that we just decide we have to do it..I'm saying if it happens it happens and we shouldn't be making ourselves feel guilty for it, we could have a bit of fun….'

She could see where he was coming from, it would ease her plaguing mind every time it happened, maybe by both willingly letting themselves off the hook almost it would actually make things more normal between them again.

'But what about…' Haley pondered softly then before shaking her head. She really couldn't even put it into words, he would probably laugh at her for it. It was laughable really.

'What is it?' Nathan said softly then.

His concerned tone at her glancing across at him. 'But what if one of us…' God she couldn't even say the words but she noticed the flash of recognition in his eyes, he knew where she was going with this. 'It's just you hear that all the time….'

'The moment that happens I'll let you pick the movie every Friday night and every time we go the cinema for the rest of time.' Nathan smirked.

Haley just scoffed. 'You could never do that; you spend every other Friday night pouting when it's my turn.' She teased.

'Exactly I'm saying that because I know it won't happen Hales, we've had sex 3 times now and I feel the exact same don't you?.'

'Well yeah but you hear all these stories about friends doing that and it always ends badly Nathan.' Haley just couldn't push that niggling voice away.

'And you know we've always beaten the odds.' He reasoned as he came over towards her dropping his coffee cup in the sink before he leaned back against the island across from her.

'And you're just like every other man desperate for sex.' She mused.

'No unlike almost every other man I won't just go around getting it off any girl, this could work in our favour for a while Haley and then if either of us meet someone in the meantime we can knock it off…'

'Just like that?' Haley said with a raised eyebrow.

'Yea, Haley I wouldn't say this if I thought or if I even had an inkling it was going to end badly, I trust in us enough to know we're going to be fine. But if you think we should just stop it now then we will.'

A lingering silence fell between them as she observed him, he looked so cool and collected about all of this, it made her feel like everything was going to be fine.

'Let's just see what happens.' Haley said softly then. 'But if we were to do this it means we still date and everything…'

'Of course, the moment it starts getting serious with someone we won't need it because one of us will be getting it and the other will just have to make nice with themselves for a while.' Nathan winked

'God eww…' Haley said slapping him playfully on the arm.

The two chuckled then. Haley smiled despite the voice niggling in the back of her mind, right now things felt good between them, it was like all the weirdness that had followed them home from Italy was clearing and they were back to being Nathan and Haley. It was enough for her to justify disregarding that niggling feeling altogether.

'So what does your day look like?' Nathan said then sensing they both needed to move on from that particular conversation right about now.

'Well I'm meeting Peyton….ten minutes ago.' Haley mused as she glanced at her watch. 'We're doing some touring and then we're going shopping with Brooke before dinner.'

'Peyton is willingly going shopping with Brooke?' Nathan said with a raised eyebrow.

'She doesn't know it yet.' Haley smirked. 'So yea I guess I'll see you for dinner with the gang later?' Haley said.

'You're ditching me for the whole day I'm hurt Hales.'

'Don't act like you're not gonna get the guys over and fire up the PlayStation.'

'Yea I might have to stain guard the couch first.' He wiggled his eyebrows at her and laughed when her mouth dropped open.

'You're unbelievable.' She berated him feeling her cheeks heat up again and she grabbed her bottle of water before she practically stormed out of the kitchen.

Nathan just chuckled as he watched her go.

**XXXXX**

'It's really beautiful around here you know…,' Peyton smiled as the two girls strolled through Central Park.

'Yea..' Haley agreed. 'I guess we take it for granted, this is my favourite part of New York.'

'Green space.' Peyton agreed. 'You know for two girls that supposedly didn't want to live in the city we sure ended up in two of the largest ones in America.' She joked.

'I guess life has ways of surprising you.' Haley mused.

'It sure does, you know I always thought I'd meet someone in school or college even, I really didn't think I'd meet him as an intern in a dodgy box room crying over a paper jam….'

Haley chuckled at her words. 'I do love how you and Julian met; I think it is romantic.'

Peyton just shook her head. 'What about you girlie, is it going anywhere with Jake?'

'You know I don't think I really gave him a chance.' Haley admitted. 'We are going to go out again so maybe.' She shrugged.

'Maybe you should go into work and jam the photocopier.' Peyton teased. 'Seriously though, Jake is a nice guy Haley…I just think if you two didn't hit it off at all in school why now…I mean of all the guys in New York why Jake?'

'I don't know, I guess I know him and he's…' She faltered a little then before Peyton spoke up.

'He's safe.' She said softly.

Haley glanced at her not really sure where she was going with that comment but knowing all the same.

'Just don't settle Haley, not for anyone but most importantly not for yourself.' Peyton said with small smile.

Haley smiled back. 'I missed this so much, any chance you and Julian want to move to New York?' She teased.

'Speaking of boys, what happened with our boytoy that stole your virginity?' Peyton winked.

'Actually I take that back when are you going home?' Haley jibbed.

Peyton just shoved her. 'Well girlie did you two talk when you left?'

'We did and everything's fine.' Haley said.

Peyton noticed she did seem more carefree today, she could visibly see the change in her. 'Just like that?' She implored.

'Just like that. We're friends Peyton, nothing is going to change that.'

Peyton nodded. 'I know, this just seems sudden compared to last night…'

'You were right last night we just glossed over what happened, we spoke about it and we just got everything out in the open.' _So yea maybe they'd had sex again and then they'd spoke about it while also deciding this was going to possibly continue?_ But there was no way she could tell Peyton that not when she was coming to terms with it herself. This was strictly between her and Nathan.

'So you're just going to move on?' Peyton said.

Haley nodded. 'Yea, there are no feelings there so…'

'Ok good because honestly I was a little worried…'

'Why?' Haley pondered.

'Just when you said you slept together I thought maybe it had been going on and trust me that's when things get complicated.'

Haley felt her throat go dry at her words. It was like that repressed niggling voice was snickering away in the back of her mind. A subtle reminder, but a reminder, nonetheless.

'But even if it had Peyt its still platonic between us…' She choked out.

'Can you really say that when sex is such an intimate gesture?' Peyton said then.

_Ok she so did not need to be hearing this right now._ 'See the word intimate is something that makes me flinch when I think of Nathan…'

'Yet you slept with him…' Peyton goaded.

'Whatever so its sex without the intimacy…'

'I think you're spending too much time around Brooke.' Peyton joked.

'Haha.' Haley deadpanned.

'Ok I'll put you out of your misery and move on from this topic of conversation..'

'Thank you.' Haley sing-songed.

'One more thing though, was he good?'

'OH my god now who is like Brooke? Seriously Peyt.'

'Come on Haley you guys are best friends this is big….like was it hot sex or gentle sex…'

'I can't talk about it.'

'Nathan is always so gentle and caring with you so I'm betting…' Peyton caught the look on her friend's face then and she gasped. 'Haley James you dirty minx…it was rough wasn't it…?'

'This conversation is over.' Haley said finally then as she just ignored her and continued walking faster on towards the gates of the park. The sooner they were out of there the sooner they were in Brooke's company and they wouldn't speak of this again.

**XXXXX**

Haley smiled as she glanced around the table at her friends all chatting animatedly and sipping on their drinks, it felt like an age since the lot of them were here together like this. She was sitting directly across from Brooke with Lucas beside her and Nathan across from him. Peyton was on her other side and Jake had even joined them and was sitting across from Peyton.

'So cheers everyone…' Brooke squealed as the waiter finished taking their orders. Everyone held up their glasses clunking them together. 'Here's to surviving our first few months in the adult world..or not.' She teased as they all chuckled. Haley smiled, all of them aside from Brooke around the table had gone to high school together and yet it seemed like they had known Brooke years, she slotted right in so naturally.

'So where is my fellow outsider?' Brooke teased Peyton then not missing the fact that her smile slightly faltered from that question. Julian usually joined them alongside Peyton the rare times they got together like this.

'He's under time constraints with this move script so…' Peyton shrugged not loving the fact she was under the spotlight. Haley sensed her apprehension. 'Well there's just an excuse for us to take a trip to L.A.'

'I do love any good reason for a holiday.' Brooke smiled.

'I would know.' Haley mused as they all laughed.

'Hey, I didn't force you…' Brooke scoffed.

'I would say nicely persuaded….' Nathan said rather amused.

'Am I missing something here?' Peyton said then as she looked between them.

'You know how I brought Nate to the wedding, her idea…' Haley teased.

'And it was genius if I do say so myself, we all got a holiday out of it and you got your mother off your back.'

Peyton laughed. 'Why does that not surprise me?'

'So Julian is missing out on all the fun.'

'I guess don't get me wrong but sometimes a break is nice.' Peyton mused.

'We could all do with a break from our boyfriends from time to time.' Brooke teased.

'Boyfriend?' Haley said then with a quirked eyebrow.

Brooke bit her lip but it still didn't stop the beaming smile from spreading across her face. Haley glanced at Luke then and he was practically gleaming. She caught Nathan's eyes then and they smirked knowingly at each other.

'We made it official last night.' Lucas said happily then.

'Finally.' Nathan said only to receive an elbow from Brooke. 'Come find me when you finally have a girlfriend!' She goaded.

'That's great you guys.' Haley said earnestly then.

'I admit I was wrong.' Brooke said then as Lucas chuckled.

'About what?' Haley said as she took a sip of her wine.

'Being non-exclusive, I thought it would be easy all the fun without the feelings but it's only a matter of time before sex becomes more than well….just sex.' She said so overtly and easily then. Haley almost choked on her drink as her whole body went rigid, she couldn't raise her eyes to meet Nathan's. Damn this would be so much easier if he wasn't sitting diagonally across from her.

'What you act like you're all so surprised?' Brooke mused.

'You just never admit you're wrong.' Peyton teased.

'Actually it depends on who you're with, obviously you had feelings before this thing with Lucas began that's why it was so ridiculous.' Nathan said rather defensively.

Haley finally tore her eyes away from the table in front of her in shock at Nathan's words, why was he speaking to Brooke like that and why the hell was he so angry?

Brooke didn't know where that came from, she was actually rather shocked by his response. He seemed irritated almost. 'Who rattled your cage?' She quipped.

'I'm just saying it doesn't always work like that.'

'Yes it does, sex is never just sex.' Brooke retorted. 'Unless it's a one-night stand kind of thing but if you know the person that's different.'

'Well I think you're….'

'Okaaay….' Lucas said breaking the pair apart from their weird tiff. 'Can we stop talking about this in the restaurant…'

'We're just having an adult conversation Luke.' Nathan replied.

'Sounds like it.' Peyton quipped quietly beside Haley. Haley glanced at her and she caught that knowing look on her face, she knew exactly what she was thinking about then.

'Why do you even care?' Brooke wondered then.

'I don't'

'Could have fooled me.' She muttered just as the waiter came back to the table with their mains.

Haley let out a sigh of relief as she glanced across at Nathan who was staring directly back at her, she quickly looked away.

'God that was so good.' Peyton said as she dropped her knife and fork down.

'Did you get the seafood pasta?' Brooke said.

She nodded. 'I'm so full I need more wine.'

Haley laughed. 'Solid reason.'

'So while we are all here I was talking to mum last week and she's considering doing a fundraiser at the end of November for victims of road traffic accidents, it's the anniversary of Trics opening and she figured it would be nice way tom mark it.'

Nathan felt his heart pounding in his chest why was Lucas bringing this up now, why ruin a perfectly good night ?

Haley smiled. 'That sounds like a lovely idea Luke I'd love to help actually.'

Oh course Haley was being a martyr and wanted to help with this Nathan sighed inwardly. He didn't want to be there for the anniversary of Tric it was just another painful reminder and he certainly didn't want to be surrounded by victims and relatives of road traffic accidents.

'What do you think Nate? I know mum was pretty nervous she's hoping you'd like the idea.' Lucas said then.

'Sounds perfect.' Nathan barely choked out.

Haley noticed he was clenching his jaw and she sighed softly , she knew this was the last thing he wanted to be talking about.

'I'm going to take Brooke home to tree hill that weekend so it would be nice if you could make it.' Lucas said.

'Will be there.' Haley said and Nathan caught her gaze then and she could have sworn he was softly pleading with her to just drop this

'You know what I might see if I can get Julian to come then too he hasn't being to Tree Hill.'

'That would be great Peyton.' Lucas smiled.

Nathan excused himself from the table then just as the waiter began collecting their plates.

Lucas had a sombre look on his face. 'I wasn't sure if I should have brought it up or not.'

'No you did the right thing you know how he is ; he's probably just digesting it that's all.' Haley reasoned as she patted Lucas' arm softly.

'Karen sounds like she was a lovely person.' Brooke said sadly then.

'He has all her heart and her warmth but he doesn't see it.' Haley said with a sad smile in Nathan's direction.

'How long has it been?'

'4 years.' Lucas said. 'But it still feels like yesterday.'

Haley nodded in understanding. 'I'm just gonna go…' She nodded in Nathan's direction.

'You ok?' Haley said softly as she came up to the bar beside Nathan. That jaw of his was still clenched and he was leaning over the bar in his navy shirt and grey slacks , his hair styled purposefully ruggedly , she noticed a few girls down the way eying him up and giggling and shook her head , she was used to this when she was out with him.

'Yea why wouldn't I be?' Nathan mumbled back as he waited for his drink she noticed he didn't even bother to make eye contact.

'Because it would be ok if you're not.'

'It's a long time ago Haley.'

'Not that long and that doesn't mean it's not going to affect you Nathan.'

'I know that but I'm fine alright, what are you drinking?'

She sighed as she looked at him, his eyes were beseeching but the sadness in them told another tale , would he ever let her in? It had been 4 years and he still remained so shielded.

She heard Nathan ordering her a vodka from the barman then before she'd even had a chance to answer.

'So you'll go?' Haley said softly then.

'Yea.' Nathan said rather finitely as he drummed his fingers impatiently against the bar.

God it was like drawing blood from a stone when he got like this but she knew there was no point pushing him on it now , Nathan had closed this conversation off the moment he'd left his seat from Lucas penetrating gaze. 'Thanks Haley.' said as he handed her the drink.

'You look lovely tonight.' Nathan said honestly as he took in her appearance , Haley was wearing a slinky cowl neck sleeveless dress that stopped mid-thigh, the deep teal colour was just beautiful on her and really accentuated her blonde locks which were down in her signature loose waves.

'Thanks.' She mumbled shyly. Nathan just shook his head at her. 'What?' Haley implored.

'Still after all this time you can't take a compliment.'

'And still after all this time you expect me to change.' Haley teased back.

'I'm still wondering how you actually became friends with Brooke that girl eats them up.'

'We were roomies don't you remember seen as I recall you spent half of college sleeping your drunken ass on our floor.' Haley quipped jokingly with a smug look on her face.

Nathan just chuckled at her and watched as her eyes crossed at the incriminating tray of shots coming towards them. 'I figured it would stop Brooke whining about the way I acted earlier.' Nathan said then.

'What was that about anyway?' Haley said as she eyed him.

'Well you know what they were talking about?' Nathan said as he rested an elbow on the bar beside the tray of drinks. Haley looked at him as if to continue and he rolled his eyes, its not like he wanted to spell it out to her.

'I know they were talking about their little nonexclusive thing but why did you get so defensive?'

'Because we're…' Nathan began only to hesitate then. 'You know what, ,ever mind it doesn't even matter now.' Clearly the thought hadn't even crossed Haley's mind and he was over-thinking the whole thing between him and her comparing it to Lucas and Brooke's situation. Nathan smirked at the irony of the whole thing; he usually wasn't the overthinker in this friendship. 'Come on let's get this back over to the table before we give Brooke another thing to complain about.'

**XXXXX **

'Nathan..' Haley giggled as he attacked her neck with a series of short succulent kisses, pinning her against the cubicle door

'We...can't ...do ...this…..here.' She got out breathlessly as she ran her hands through his hair , god it was wicked how pleasurable just his kisses on her neck felt.

'Why not?' He smirked knowing she was enjoying this just as much as he was.

'Because ..'...Haley bit back her moan then and she felt Nathan smirk against her skin before he sucked down on her weak spot. 'Our friends are out there…' she got out weakly, friends or not her body had long surrendered to his advances.

'So it's not like they're going to come looking for us everyone's drunk.' Nathan mumbled against her sweet salty skin.

He did have a point they were all pretty merry from the drinks they consumed throughout dinner and after , but this was just so wrong. Haley whimpered as she felt Nathan biting down on her weak spot as his hands danced along her bare arms leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. Everything about her was intoxicating, her touch, her smell, the sensuous taste of her , he couldn't get enough of it, as he pulled away and glanced at Haley staring right back at him breathing deeply he felt himself shudder , he couldn't be craving her , it wasn't her he was craving it was just sex : _really good sex_.

That smouldering look in his darkened orbs had the heat blistering inside of her, how could one look have her so desperate to feel him pounding into her? How could that look from him above anyone else do so much to her? Haley pulled on his shirt then pulling him into her as their mouths crashed together slanting open their tongues teased alongside each other sensuously both moaning as their kiss grew more frenzied , within seconds Nathan had Haley lifted up, her legs clenching around his waist as he pressed her back against the door again.

'Owww' Haley cried out as she broke away from his lips and Nathan pulled back from her immediately.

'Did I hurt you?' he said slightly concerned then.

She sent him a shy smile. 'No…it's my hair.' She brought her hand to try and tug it free.

Nathan crossed his eyes at her 'What?'

'It's caught Nathan.'

'Seriously?'

'What do you mean seriously ?'

'We're about to have sex and your stopping me because your hair…'

'It hurts' Haley cut him off then.

He shook his head at her as he ran his hand through her blonde locks pulling it softly from the hinge in the door where it got caught 'You're something else you know that.' He smirked at her. 'Only you would get stuck in this situation Haley James.' He teased

The way he was teasing her now had a warm rush flowing through her veins , a simple reminder than even in this situation their connection as friends was just the same, she couldn't help but laugh softly then.

'What are you laughing at?' Nathan couldn't help but smile.

'I guess this isn't as sexy as it looks in the movies you know..' Haley mused.

The two chuckled then despite the situation.

'Definitely not.' Nathan agreed and they caught each other's gaze then as their laughter died down and silence evaded them

Haley watched her heart thudding widely in her chest for some reason as Nathan leaned in slowly , maybe it was because every other kiss between them had been heated and quick and this one just seemed to be moving in slow motion as she watched him lean into her , seconds later he captured her lips softly as he began exploring her mouth ever so gently , she kissed him back seeking the wet warmth of his mouth as they made out softly for several minutes.

Haley gasped as she felt Nathan's hand softly grazing up her thigh , he groaned into her mouth feeling how wet and ready she was for him as he pulled off her matching teal lace panties , he felt Haley's small hands unbuckling his slacks then pulling them halfway down his legs with his boxers.

'Haley' Nathan sighed contently as he pulled his lips away from hers relishing in the feel of her soft hands wrapped around his hard length. 'Oh god.'

She smiled at his reaction she really wasn't been doing much , she'd only grasped onto him and started pumping her hand up and down his hard length as she guided her wet heat over him.

'God you're so wet.' Nathan groaned huskily, he could practically feel her dampness on the top of his cock and within seconds he plunged himself inside of her letting out a deep moan as her slick warm walks clenched around him so perfectly, no one had ever felt this good, not even close, the intensity of this feeling was increasing every time they joined like this.

'Nathan.' Haley whimpered in pleasure as he began to pull out and plunge himself back in , one hand was leaning against the door now as he upped the pace of his thrusts. Her legs were gripping onto him as tight as her inner walls every time his length completely filled her. 'Fuck Haley..' He moaned at her actions.

'Keep going….faster.' She pleaded as he pounded into her, he knew if she kept saying things like that and whimpering like she did he wouldn't last a minute longer , he felt her nails raking down his sweaty back and he knew she was close , he began to lazily graze his finger against her clit as he continued his deep thrusts smirking in satisfaction from the gasps of pleasure emitting from her in breathless whimpers. She began pushing herself into his finger and clock simultaneously , every move every action rapidly led to their simultaneous combustion as Haley's orgasm completely washed over her, her whole body shuddering against the door as Nathan found his release alongside her , he rested his head in the crook of her neck and she could feel his damp hair clinging to her scorching skin , both of them breathing heavily

After several seconds Nathan pulled out of her as he carefully lowered Haley's legs. He was just pulling on his boxers and slacks when she spoke rather hesitantly 'Sometimes I just wish you would let me in with it all' Haley mumbled softly then and she watched him tense up a little before he went back to fixing himself as though she hadn't said a word.

He glanced at her then rather taken aback by the vulnerability in her tone ' What do you mean?' He said softly , he couldn't take his eyes off how different she seemed all of a sudden , the vulnerability in her demeanour laced in with the afterglow of their passionate encounter had his mind in a frenzy of confusion. He just wanted to kiss her but he couldn't do that not after they had sex. That wouldn't make any sense at all, still as he looked at her he felt the overwhelming urge to do just that. Nathan bit his lip as though it had a mind of its own and turned away from her earnest expression, it was doing strange things to him.

'With your mum I know you said it's fine and you want to go to this thing but I just wish you'd talk to me Nathan because I want to know when you're not ok, that's what I'm here for.'

'You know me better than anyone Haley.' Nathan said earnestly. 'I am fine I promise.' He said as he turned to face her again trying to quell the disconcerting impulses he was having.

She felt her lip tremble a bit and she didn't know why she was so emotional all of a sudden , she nodded at him not trusting herself to speak at the moment.

Nathan didn't say anything more as he closed the small distance between them pulling her into a hug , she didn't know why but her eyes welled up as he held her and she could feel a sense of desperation as though the way he was holding her now gave way to the words from him that she would never hear.

**XXXXX**

'Nathaaan…' Haley bellowed from where she was chaotically throwing some of her clothes back in the wardrobe rather muffled. 'Dammit why have I nothing to wear….where is he?' She mumbled before calling out for him again. It was Friday night and she was going out for dinner in less than an hour.

It had been two weeks since she'd actually properly being out and that was the night they'd all went out for dinner and since she'd began this whole friends with benefits situation with Nathan. They'd had sex twice since that night, the sex was amazing there was no denying that and it was like because of this agreement they had decided on there was no more unspoken tension in the air or lingering apprehension between them.

Things were finally back to normal and the sex hadn't changed a thing. She should have known it would take a lot more than sex to come between them.

They'd slept together 6 times now and there was absolutely no weirdness between them.

'What?..' Nathan rushed into her room looking a little dishevelled, his hair was askew and his grey t-shirt was all covered in damp spots.

'I have nothing to wear.' Haley pouted.

'Seriously Haley you were shouting me for this.' Nathan rebuked.

'This is serious Nathan I look fat in everything.' She said a little dramatically.

'Trust me you're not fat.' He said shaking his head at her as he stepped into the room. 'Where are you going?' He said then as he crossed his arm and leaned against the doorframe.

'If you must know I'm going out with Jake.'

'Jake huh?' Nathan said raising his eyebrows.

'What's that look for?' Haley implored.

'He just never mentioned it in work that's all he must not be too excited.' Nathan teased and smirked as she glared at him. 'So you're giving it another go with him?' Nathan said quietly then.

'Yea I think I was very quick to shut him out with everything that happened in Italy I freaked out.' Haley admitted. 'Besides we said we were going to date right?' She said then catching his gaze.

Nathan simply nodded as he glanced at the current mess of her room. 'Maybe you should wear that teal dress worked wonders for me.' He teased her then as he dodged the cushion she fired his way.

Haley scoffed. 'Nathan you can't say things like that it's disturbing.'

'We're sleeping together Haley.' He shrugged.

'But you can't allure to me looking attractive or anything of the sort cause that will just freak me out.' She rambled as she began to put all the clothes she pulled out back into the wardrobe.

He couldn't help but chuckle at her.

'Can you be serious for like a minute?' Haley reasoned as Nathan stood there laughing at her door.

He pushed himself away from the door then as he walked over to her eying the dresses hanging up in her wardrobe before pulling out the prized item. 'I am serious, wear this.' He said with a soft smile as he handed her the dress.

Haley let out a soft sigh, it was so Nathan to go from all jokey to heart-warmingly sincere with her in a matter of seconds. 'Thanks.' She said with a small smile. 'I'm sorry it's just being a long week and you're leaving tomorrow.' She said sadly.

'It's just 7 days Hales.' He reasoned. 'And besides you're starting your new job so you'll be so busy it will fly.'

'I guess.' She agreed. 'So have you any plans tonight?'

'Well once I fix our broken pipe I'm going to bed, I've to leave at 7 in the morning.'

'I'll make you breakfast before you leave.' Haley said then as she hung up the rest of her clothes.

'You don't have to do that besides if you have a late one I know you'll want to sleep in.'

'I can just go back to bed it's no big deal.'

Nathan smiled at her. 'Ok well I'll let you get ready, have fun tonight.'

Haley just gave him a small smile back as she watched him leave. She glanced at the clock beside her bed then. 'Crap.' Of course she only had like 15 minutes to get ready now.

**XXXXX**

'I had fun tonight Haley.' Jake said as they casually strolled along the sidewalk back towards her apartment complex. They'd gone for dinner in a more casual spot in Brooklyn and the whole night just felt so relaxed and easy. They mutually agreed they were just going to see where things go without putting a label on anything at least for now.

'Me too.' She smiled brightly. Jake couldn't help but smile back at her, she seemed so carefree lately like a weight had been lifted.

'So I'm going to take your advice and maybe perform one of my own songs next weekend.'

'You really should Jake, they seem good if you ever want to run more by me I love reading your stuff.'

'Thanks Haley, it's not an easy thing to share.'

She nodded in understanding as they paused outside of her apartment complex. 'So I guess I'll chat to during the week, let me know if you want to do something I know Nathan is gone all week so if you're bored.'

'Sure that might be nice.' Haley said softly, he came in closer to her and pressed his lips against hers softly, the kiss was gentle and chaste. 'Night Haley.' Jake said rubbing her hand softly before he pulled completely away from her.

She stood there outside her apartment building long after they parted ways, her fingers feeling her lips but it was like she hadn't even being kissed at all. It left her with nothing.

Haley sighed softly to herself as she quietly came into the apartment, she glanced at Nathan's closed bedroom door longingly before she forced herself down to her room. Shedding herself of her dress she slipped on a baggy t-shirt before dropping down onto her bed, she couldn't even think now if she'd ever really felt anything with Jake before, she must have. Now everything seemed to be clouded and they weren't the fluffy passing kind, they were the heavy ones that draped across the sky so thickly they were almost impenetrable. All she could think about was how he tasted and she needed it so bad. She didn't want to think about why she needed it, as though tonight was lacking in something and somehow going to his room right now wasn't even an option, it was what she had to do. The urge, the impulse was to strong.

Haley pulled herself off her bed and padded quietly down the hall until she got outside his door, the urges simmering in her veins were too much for her to even feel nervous for doing what she was about to do. She knew it wasn't normal for them, the last two times they'd had sex in this apartment it had happened in each other's rooms and even after that they went back to their respective room. She didn't even know if that was going to happen, all she knew was she needed to feel him.

Nathan stirred out of his sleep as he felt Haley's soft warm hands scrape ever so lightly up his chest. 'Hales…' He mumbled confused as he felt her weight on top of him. He was just about to ask her what she was doing in here when he gasped as he felt the tip of her tongue circle his cock. A low guttural groan escaped his throat and all logical questioning was completely wiped from his mind as he felt her take his cock inside her mouth. 'Fuck…..Jesus Haley…' Nathan barely got out coherently as she began taking him all the way in before pulling out and running her tongue languorously around the tip.

Haley smirked confidently as she began to take him in her mouth again moaning at how hard and big she was, she felt him jerk against her from the vibrations of her moaning against his member. She knew she had completely taken him by surprise, hell she'd shocked herself but as soon as her hands found his naked chest the urges within her seemed to completely overwhelm her and she wanted to taste him so bad, every part of him. She felt Nathan's hands on the back of her head seconds later guiding her down onto him as she raked her teeth against him as she came back up relishing in the erotic moans that were escaping him.

She ran her tongue along the tip again driving him pure delirious with pleasure before pulling her mouth off him completely, she gasped as he pulled onto her hips and flipped her down onto the bed so wildly, his hands were everywhere all over her rubbing roughly as his mouth descended on her breasts sucking and nipping hard at her nipples, his movements were feverish and frantic and they had her whole body blazing with uninhibited desire for him. She cried out loudly pleading with him for more as she spread her legs for him. He continued sucking on her breasts as his hand trailed to her centre and instantly his fingers were drenched. Fuck she was dripping.

'Nathan….please.' Haley said erotically as she tried to wrap one leg around his and alleviate the throbbing between her legs.

He pulled away from her breasts then raising his eyes to meet hers for the first time that night as he pushed his whole girth inside of her slick heat. She was watching him through darkened desire, he'd never seen this look on her ever not during any of their previous encounters, he felt it though. He knew what it was like to be so compelled by this unrelenting desire to the point it completely consumed every part of you.

He began pounding into her then, everything about their movements felt frenzied, his merciless thrusts, the way her heels were digging into him, her nails scraping his back, his mouth biting down on her neck marking her so rawly.

In a matter of seconds Haley's whole body was shuddering beneath him, as the desire which had been harbouring within her all night completely consumed her, his name falling from her lips in pure devotion of the deep rooted rapture that was coursing through her veins, she felt falling right alongside her, she felt his warmth spill inside of her as her name fell from his lips in the same way, it was strikingly different to his usual tone of affection. It was an exaltation that consumed his entire being.

Nathan pulled off of her then leaving a gentle kiss on her forehead as he brushed back her slick baby hairs. He sent her a soft smile then and it had her heart thudding in her chest. He lied on his bag as he silently stretched his arm out behind Haley pulling her into his side, her head resting on his chest.

She wasn't really sure what to make of it, it's not like they'd ever cuddled after this happened before, at least not voluntarily. She wrapped her arm around his naked chest and she smiled as she felt him quiver a little from her touch. It wasn't long before she was lulled into a steady sleep in his arms.

**So everything seems normal for them now but how long will that last ;) **** Thanks everyone for your reviews and messages on this story, as always I really appreciate it. :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 **

Haley glanced at her watch for like the zillionth time as she continued to stir the mince and to know surprise not much time had passed. The excitement was bubbling within her. Nathan was going to be home shortly after what had felt like the longest week since he left last Sunday morning. It was now Sunday night and she had decided seen as she never got the chance to cook him breakfast the morning he left she was doing a nice dinner for tonight.

A nervous energy bubbled within her veins and had her a little more jumpy than usual. She wasn't really sure why she felt nervous about seeing him, was it because things had been so intimate last Sunday morning? Haley really didn't want to think about that. They'd slept together both literally and figuratively. Sure it's not like they hadn't shared a bed before but willingly sleeping in the same bed after sex was a different story. Was she really over-analysing it though? It didn't have to mean anything, right? She had been telling herself that the past 7 days.

They had laid in each other's arms for an hour when they woke up that morning before Nathan had to leave. Not much was said between them then but the sense of loss she felt with him going was much heavier than she'd ever felt it before. so much so she found herself thinking way too much into it, the silence that permeated the apartment this week really hadn't help her escape her overactive mind.

'God why must you analyse everything?' Haley gave off to herself as she left the mince to simmer while she went to rummage for the pasta sheets.

'I'm only gone a week and you're talking to yourself.' Nathan mumbled amused as he leaned against the kitchen door his arms crossed at his chest.

Haley turned around in shock having not even heard him shuffling with his luggage through the apartment. 'You're back…' She beamed as she all but ran over and lept into him. Nathan chuckled as his arms came up to hold her to him, he breathed in her comforting scent and smiled to himself; she smelled like home. The seemed to hold each other for a little longer than habitual for them but neither realised. 'God I missed you.' Nathan mumbled against Haley before he pulled back.

'Oh my god your hair.' Haley acknowledge then as she finally noticed, his usually raggedy raven locks were completely cut into a buzz cut.

Nathan ran his hand his head. 'Oh yea it was a guy thing, the story is kind of gay actually.' He mused. Haley was still looking at him rather oddly. 'What?' Nathan said cautiously then but she turned away from him not before he caught her biting her lip, what was she being all apprehensive about now?

'Nothing.' Haley squeaked as she went back to stirring on the mince.

'That's not your nothing face.' Nathan countered.

'It's nice.' Haley said, she didn't know why she was feeling so embarrassed all of a sudden about saying that but she was. It's not like she hadn't complimented him before.

'What?'

She rolled her eyes, why were men so clueless sometimes? 'Your hair.'

'Oh.' He said rather awkwardly then.

'I just haven't seen it like that since we were in high school and it reminded me of junior year.' Haley smiled feeling like she had to back up that comment with some platonic comment. There her mind was going again over-analysing every little thing.

'That feels like a lifetime ago.' Nathan said as he came over to peep into the pot. 'Are you making lasagne?'

The childlike gleam in his eyes knocked her out of her thoughts and she couldn't help but laugh at him realising she was just being plain ridiculous analysing every little comment she made now when in reality everything was the same for them. She realised there no point even dwelling on those intrusive thoughts any longer, after all she wanted to have a nice relaxing night with her best friend, it's all she wanted after this crazy week. 'So I'm about to dish this into the oven and lasagne will be served in 30 minutes. 'Haley smiled as his eyes lit up even more.

'You're the best.'

'You don't have to butter me up I'm already making your favourite dinner.' Haley mused.

Nathan chuckled. 'No honestly Hales the fact that you're making lasagne for dinner has made my day.' He beamed. 'I'm gonna go shower and fresh up.'

He grabbed his suitcase then going down to his room and Haley smiled as she stood there breathing in the scent of his aftershave lingering in the air around her, god she had missed him so much.

'Hmm that feels so nice.' Haley mused as her head lay across Nathan's lap as he massaged her scalp softly.

He chuckled. 'You did make me my favourite dinner so…'

'So worth it.' Haley mused with her eyes closed, they'd eaten over an hour ago and the pair had spent some time catching up properly mostly talking about their working week.

'So will things settle a little for you this week?'

'Yea.' Nathan said. 'I put in a lot of extra time so I actually don't have to be in the office as much this week.'

'that's good you deserve some time off Nathan; you know I haven't seen you play basketball since we left NYU you should start playing again.'

'I will it's just been a crazy few weeks you know…'

Haley nodded her head in understanding. 'Yea but you should always make time for the things that make you happy.'

'What about you? Are you feeling happier here…?' There was an air of caution lingering in his question.

Haley pulled her head up from his lap then looking at him. 'Yea I fell more settled you know.' She said intently as she cuddled into his side resting her head on his shoulder.

'I'm glad Haley I was really worried.' Nathan admitted.

'You don't have to worry about me.'

'I'm always going to worry about you, you know that.' He said softly.

Haley reached down for his hand then lacing their fingers together. That simple touch sent sparks daggering up his arm like crossbows to a target. He tried so hard not to let the feeling consume him but it felt like a thick fog had suddenly blanketed the room cloaking in with this stifling yearning. 'Hales…' Nathan said softly then surprising himself by how dry his voice suddenly sounded.

'Hmm…' She mumbled from where her head rested against him. When Nathan didn't answer Haley pulled her head away and glanced at him curiously, his intense stare had her breath hitching in her throat, she was suddenly very conscious of their hands enjoined and subtle yet significantly heightened sensation of his thumb running against the palm of her hand, as if reading her thoughts she glanced down as Nathan's thumb circled the inside of her palm before he unlaced his hand and began to run it so delicately up her arm as her whole body quivered. She felt her cheeks blush over slightly embarrassed from that reaction and she was grateful in that moment that the only light permeating the room was from their abandoned movie. She felt Nathan's arm reach the back of her neck as he shifted closer to her, brown met blue and yet he didn't shift nearer like she so desperately needed him too. Haley wetted her lips hoping the action would silently communicate with him what she desired as she observed his eyes glance down at her actions before he caught her gaze again, he leaned in then tortuously slowly, his warm breath mingling in the air with hers and finally their lips touched, she sighed into his mouth contentedly as their mouths slanted, tongues teasing slowly together, the kiss was long and sensuous, she could feel her body begging for a breath of air but equally wishing she would never deny it such a kiss for so long again.

Had she really missed kissing her best friend?

Haley hadn't a moment to ponder what was a strictly forbidden thought as she felt Nathan's cold hand seep under her cotton tank top rubbing the small of her back, the chilling, callous sensation of his hands against her balmy skin had her body quivering with anticipation. She broke away from his lips then squirming a little under his firm grasp, his hands had snaked around to her sides and were rubbing purposefully against the sides of her ribs where he knew she was extremely ticklish, Haley couldn't help but giggle a little as she glanced up at that signature smirk of his, he knew exactly what he was doing. 'S..stop..' She squirmed as she caught his heart-warming smile.

'What?' Nathan goaded as he paused while his hands still grasped her waist firmly.

His smile had a weird sensation stirring in her stomach. She found herself gazing up at him searching for the distinctive sign that something was different about his smile and yet she was coming up empty. The caught each other's gazes, the smile left Nathan's face as he watched her so intently. Haley was looking at him with a rather mystifying expression. He swallowed hard as he watched the changing emotions on her face wondering what the hell she was thinking about and why they had suddenly stopped what they were doing. He leaned in again only to notice Haley had pulled away.

He was leaning in; she could see it and she berated herself for once again falling victim to inspecting every little thing when she was with him now like this. The whole reason they were doing this was for fun and pleasure, now just wasn't the time to fixate on things about her friend that just seemed noticeably different. It's like her mind was playing tricks on her. She could sense the confusion coming from Nathan as she stalled them and she licked her lips again boxing away those ruminating thoughts in her mind focusing solely on the anticipation flowing through her veins.

Nathan was just about to ask Haley if something was wrong until her lips collided with his rather forcefully, he moaned into her mouth at her sudden wave of aggressiveness as she straddled his lap pushing him back against the couch. Their kisses were hot and wet, lips parted as Nathan began devouring her neck licking the delectable saltiness of her sweet skin. 'God I missed you.' He mumbled as he kissed back up her neck joining their lips again, his confusion over her temporary stall completely washed away with this all-consuming desire to take her.

Haley pulled away teasingly as she began to lick and nibble at his neck up to his ear. 'Hmm did you miss me or miss this?' She said coyly as she grinded herself into him enjoying the whimpering moans that escaped him.

'You..' Nathan barely got out as she began to gyrate her hips against him while she tugged on his ear. Fuck. 'That's not fair…' He mumbled and Haley smirked. She knew exactly what he was referring to.

'What?' She teased then as she bit down on his earlobe while rubbing herself in this deliciously tortuous rhythm against his jean covered member.

'You know what.' Nathan said as he closed his eyes trying not to focus on his cock exploding before they even got to the main event.

Haley smiled. 'Want me to stop?' She whispered hotly. Of course he had told her from full best friend disclosure what he loved girls doing and she enjoyed using it against him now far too much.

'No…' Nathan groaned before he stood up from the couch in one quick sweep taking Haley with him, her legs grasped around his waist. She gasped loudly. 'Nathan…'

He went directly down the hall into Haley's room as he dropped her to the bed and threw off his t-shirt. 'I'm sorry Hales I just I need to be inside you now.' He admitted shamelessly as his body crawled overs hers. His hands gripped onto her tank top pulling it from her body groaning as her nipples puckered up to the cool air. Haley felt the soaking wet heat pooling between her legs from his words coupled with his piercing gaze now. Seconds later his hands were pulling her shorts and panties down her legs as he leaned in kissing her roughly as he finally pushed his cock inside of her both of them relishing in the level of pleasurable relief they felt in that very moment. 'God you feel so good, you always feel so good.' Nathan whispered hotly against her ear as he began nipping and sucking the top of her chest all the way down to her tantalising breasts. Haley withered, gasped and moaned beneath his fevered touches as his cock filled her so wholesomely. She brought her knees up dropping them wide as he began to push into her even deeper and further. 'Fuck Hales.' Nathan groaned as he watched her open herself up for him completely and he began to thrust into her heavily desperate for his release but wishing he could stay on this blissful edge of anticipation for as long as possible.

He needed her right there with him, he knew he wasn't going to last. It had been so long. 7 days. And his body was ready to come down the moment her mouth and her hands had teased his skin earlier, he'd never been so close to coming in his life just from a woman's hands on him.

Yet in the throes of pleasure now his mind couldn't even fixate on that thought enough to realise how strange that truth was considering that woman's hands belonged to his best friend.

'Come on baby.' Nathan said as he pounded into her.

Those words and the way he said them had the waves of elevated pleasure taking hold of her as her whole body found its release right alongside him, both of their names falling in breathless cries from each other's mouths as their bodies fell into each other like a tangled mess. Nathan rested his head in the crook of Haley's shoulder trying to calm his breathing for several seconds before he pulled himself off of her and lay on his back beside her. The silence from their almost sinful lovemaking filled the air between them.

Nathan had never been more turned on and more desperate for a release in his life. One minute he'd being on the couch with her and the next they were here in her bed. He was caught in this giant paradox. Every moment like this felt so external from himself and their reality and yet at the same time he felt even closer to Haley. He found himself battling with keeping that fact of who she really was in his head as a reality. His best friend.

Haley glanced at Nathan biting her lip watching as he stared at the ceiling. God she was being ridiculous. It's not like he could read her thoughts. It's not like he knew that she somehow in some disturbing way had actually wanted to kiss him so bad and still did.

She _hated_ this. He was probably thinking about what he was going to make for lunch tomorrow now and who is first client was in the morning. He was a guy. There was no way he was in one bit analysing any of this. At least they were in her bed so it wasn't her that had to move back to her room. Was he even to going to move back to his bed? After all she had stayed in his the last time they had sex which hadn't being intentional. Haley sighed inwardly to herself as she turned to her side so her back was facing him. It was in her typical nature to over analyse things despite telling herself she had to stop doing it when she was with Nathan in this way, but how did she think this situation with Nathan would be any different? Friends with benefits right? Just that, no complications and yet everything between them was becoming hazy.

There should still be a fine line between their friendship and their benefitting but Haley couldn't distinguish it anymore and that thought alone terrified her.

Maybe Peyton was right, maybe sex was just such an intimate gesture that even though they held no real feelings for each other it still had the capacity to screw with their heads.

And Haley felt it was doing just that.

For the first time in maybe her whole life it was the one thing she couldn't go to Nathan to talk about, how would she say this without it looking like she suddenly developed feelings? Surely he would take it that way and then everything would be extremely weird between them for the rest of time. She was officially screwed.

She heard Nathan's steady breathing beside her then and sighed, of course he had fallen asleep so easily because there was no way he was ruminating over the subtle changes shifting between them every time they were together like this. She had to find a way to put a stop to this and simultaneously spare herself the embarrassment of admitting that something had changed with her.

**XXXXX**

Haley's grumbles were muffled against her pillowcase as a piercing beeping noise infiltrated every dark space within her bedroom. She groaned as the noise only got more incessant reluctantly opening her heavy eyes as she made out Nathan's shape fumbling over something on the floor.

'Turn it off.' Haley mumbled sleepily.

'Hales you've to get up soon.' Nathan reminded her as he pulled his phone from where his jeans were throwing on the floor and hit the alarm off, it's not like she wasn't working anymore.

Haley groaned. 'Nathan it's like the middle of the night.' Eventually the sound went off much to Haley's relief as she closed her eyes again.

'It's half 6..'

'Exactly the middle of the night.'

Nathan chuckled at how grumpy she sounded; she really never was a morning person it was actually quiet entertaining. Deciding he'd let her continue sleeping, or full well knowing he would never win this battle anyway Nathan quietly left her room and headed for the shower.

It was over half an hour later when he came back into her room all dressed for work adorning a brown paper bag and coffees. Haley instantly inhaled the smell of pastries. 'You went to Davina's?' She practically beamed as she jumped up in her bed. Nathan chuckled at her.

'Not so grumpy now are we?' He teased.

'I wasn't grumpy, I don't start work until 9 Nathan I don't need to be up at 6.' Haley reasoned. 'But thank you.' She said softly as he placed her coffee and almond croissant on her bedside table. 'I wish every Monday could start like this.'

'Don't get your hopes up. But that dinner last night was amazing' Nathan smiled at her. 'Right I'm going to get going, I'll see you later.' He leant in as if on autopilot and gave her a gentle lingering kiss on the lips before he pulled away and she watched the realisation dawn on his features.

Haley would have laughed had she not felt awkward given the situation, she'd seen her Nathan be a lot of things but never bashful.

It was _unrecognisable_ on him.

'I'm sorry…I…' Nathan fumbled then not knowing what the fuck just happened those past few seconds and why he did that.

She never seen him stuck for words. 'It's okay.' Haley sent him a soft smile desperately seeking to relive them both from this uncomfortable moment. She had actually found the kiss quiet endearing but surely she should be disgusted by that fact?

'Force of habit I guess.' He muttered uneasily as he pulled back.

She got a waft of his familiar cologne then, it was overpowering. Haley closed her eyes trying to shake those thoughts from her head and when she opened them he had turned away from her. 'Bye Hales.' He said shifting on his feet a little before he left her room.

Haley leant her head back against her headboard as she blew out a breath, the subtle taste of him still lingering on her lips.

_Dammit you idiot what the hell?_ Nathan had repeated those same words in his head reproachingly as he rode the subway to work. It wasn't even that big of a deal he kept convincing himself but what if he had done that in front of their friends, that surely would have sparked interesting accusations. _Why had he kissed her?_ They only kissed when they were having sex, making out wasn't part of their benefitting, it just wasn't. He strictly remembered both of them expressing how grossed out they'd be if he randomly kissed her in the kitchen back when they had started this whole thing. _So why had he fucking kissed her?_ Thankfully Haley hadn't completely recoiled away or berated him for it, he was already ready to die of embarrassment which wasn't an emotion he often if _ever_ felt. She had clearly picked up on that or else she was equally as taken aback as he was by the whole thing.

Nathan typed in the keycode to his office building sighing to himself as he made his way towards the lift to his floor grateful for the reprieve a busy day at work would allow him. He decided then there was no point even given this any further thought, it happened and that was that. He was an idiot. It wouldn't happen again.

'Hey Nate.' Jake greeted him as he came in and dropped his briefcase on the desk. 'How was San Fran?'

'It was good man.' Nathan said as he shed himself of his suit jacket and tossed it over his chair. 'How bad was it without me here?' He goaded then.

'Hardly even noticed you gone to be honest.' Jake retorted.

Nathan just rolled his eyes. 'Yea, yea.'

'You're going in two weeks aren't you?' Nathan said then as he began glancing at the files that had built up on his desk.

'Yep, looking forward to it to be honest it's always good to actually put faces to the names you know.'

Nathan nodded. 'Yea Sandra, totally not what we were thinking.' He joked then.

'Come on her voice is like hot…don't ruin that for me.'

Nathan grimaced then. 'I'm telling you; you won't think that way when you see her.'

'You're awful man.'

Nathan smirked. 'Wait and see. So much happening around here?'

'Nah man it's been quiet with half of the team away; I got that presentation done up for the Bernstein account meeting so we're all good to go for Thursday.'

'That's great, I might just take a look…'

'I can assure you the font is all the same.' Jake teased and Nathan just rolled his eyes.

'I meant so I have an idea what I'm going to say you ass.' He joked back. Jake and his friends were always ripping the piss out of him about how apparently OCD he was with this work which he wasn't even. It was he type of job he needed to be organised and efficient for when would they ever learn that?

'Oh I think I should have gathered this from how irritated you get when your desk is a mess or the font is incorrect but man you have it bad….' Jake goaded.

'What are you talking about?' Nathan mumbled as he read through the files not really listening to what his friend was saying.

'Your room is like no one even lives there.' Jake commented.

'What were you doing in my room?'

'I stayed over in your place Friday night, not in your room by the way. Haley did say you'd be able to tell if your bed was so much as touched.' He joked with him.

Nathan crossed his eyes at that as those words filtered into his brain. Stayed over as in….he didn't even have the heart to ask, he couldn't. Why all of a sudden did he get a very bad feeling? 'Oh so you and Haley went out then?' He barely got out.

'Yea she came to support me at Saunders, I performed some of my original stuff.'

'That's great.' Nathan said not wholly convincingly.

'Yea.' Jake said. 'I think I'm going to try and do it more from now on.'

Nathan just nodded as he continued to read over his papers but the words were all just jumbling together and his mind was a flurry of thoughts, he couldn't possibly be feeling agitated by this could he?

**XXXXX**

The day had dragged on since the morning and as much as Nathan had tried to push his irritation down he was still feeling rather on edge, he knew he wasn't the best company today, he' barely spoken a work to Jake all day luckily Jake knew he had a lot of work to catch up on and figured it was because of that. He had wanted to ask Jake more about why he stayed over Friday night but he couldn't really do that without it coming off as being largely over-protective which he really didn't need to be considering Jake was his friend. Nathan was also afraid that towards Jake he couldn't hide this unsettling vexation he was feeling about the whole thing which really he wasn't supposed to feel at all was he?

Nathan sighed retrieving his phone from his briefcase switching off silent mode as the incoming message popped up on the screen.

'_Hey thanks for the pastries this morning did I or did I not tell you it made my Monday? remember our deal to be home for 5, dinner is on me (isn't it always :P) H xx _

It was around lunchtime when Haley had sent that text however Nathan had only opened it now grimacing has he noticed the time: 7:11 pm. He knew it was childish but he hadn't wanted to speak to her for the rest of the day he felt like she'd deliberately gone behind his back somehow even though in reality she hadn't done a thing wrong. It still _felt_ like it. The moment he was gone from the apartment she'd had Jake around. The confusion whirling within him over how bothered he felt by that only latched onto his agitation even more.

Nathan walked into the oddly quiet apartment throwing his tie off his neck and leaving it on their table beside the door. The light in the corridor was on but the place seemed very quiet and he wondered if Haley was even here at all.

'So I take it you didn't get my text or else you just blatantly ignored it.' Haley said calmly from where she was perched at the kitchen counter on the high stool, she seemed to be correcting over some papers.

'Hales I'm really not in the mood.' Nathan commented tiredly not wanting to get into this topic of conversation when the whole reason he had to stay late was because he couldn't concentrate all day. He didn't want to snap at her, he just hoped she'd softly drop this. It had been a long day.

'A message would have been nice; a you know maybe a by the way I'm not going to be home for dinner Haley.'

'You're right I'm sorry Hales.' Nathan said then biting his lip, the annoyance was there just simmering underneath his skin. Her clipped tone just beckoning it to come out. 'I didn't check my phone until late.'

Haley just nodded. 'I just thought with you being away last week that you didn't have to work as long hours this week…'

'What is with everyone's problem and me working past fucking 5 in the day?' Nathan let out then rather harshly, his willingness to stay calm deflating with every tense second that ticked by on the clock. 'Seriously it's not even like 9-5 is a real thing..'

'Woah ok there's no need to attack me over this, I was just concerned…' Haley admonished him shaking her head at how on edge he seemed.

'Well don't be its pissing me off!' Nathan retaliated then.

'Excuse me?' Haley said as she crossed her arms over the countertop. How the hell had it gone from him being the one pissed at her? 'Did I do something to annoy you?'

Nathan was silent then as he turned away from her scrutinizing gaze and went to pour himself a glass of water, he knew he needed to calm down, he didn't want to get angry with Haley. Hell he was confused by his own reaction at this stage.

'You know aside from cook you dinner and try and check in on you…'

'Sometimes you just need to lay off Haley ok…' Nathan gritted out with his back to her as he left his glass back down rather harshly.

'Ok you're making absolutely no sense right now Nathan..' Haley retorted as she went back to correcting given up on this whole conversation.

Nathan just shook his head before he turned to face her again. It's like he couldn't stop his mouth from spewing the words. 'It seems I need to report to you if I go 1-minute past 5 o clock and yet you didn't even have the decency to tell me that you had Jake here for a sleepover the other night.'

'Jake….what? ….wait what?' Haley said clearly flabbergasted by the sudden change in conversation. 'What has Jake got to do with any of this?' She recovered.

'Did you sleep with him?' Nathan said rather challengingly then. He'd gone straight from one end of the swinging pendulum to another in a matter of seconds, to not mentioning this whole Jake at all to her and now finally blurting out the words that had been tormenting him all da.

Haley's mouth dropped open at his words before she closed it again, he watched her eyes cross like slices cutting through him. 'How can you even ask me that? You can't be serious?' She retorted disbelievingly.

'Did you?'

She couldn't get over how ignorant he was being right now. 'No I didn't sleep with him, where is this coming from?' Haley stood up from her chair then, she wanted to laugh at the actual ridiculousness of this conversation but she was too annoyed from earlier and by the looks of things Nathan was extremely agitated.

'Well he came in to work today grating me about how tidy my room was oh but he didn't forget to mention the fact that he didn't sleep in there.'

'Jake slept on the couch not that it's any of your business, he wasn't even in my bed.' Haley retorted.

'It's my business when I'm sleeping with you.' Nathan retaliated just as fast.

'Do you even hear yourself right now?' Haley scoffed.

'Yea I do Haley and I find it funny that you've never had a guy stay over and as soon as I'm gone you do and then hop straight into bed with me as soon as I'm back, it's starting to look like your sleeping…'

'Don't you dare finish that sentence.' Haley spewed just daring him. She grabbed her books hazardously off the counter then before purposefully shoving them into him as she walked past him. 'You know what you're really being an ass right now Nathan.' She said rather upset as she stormed off to her bedroom.

It was nearing 11 o'clock at night now and Haley hadn't come out of her room since she'd stormed in there 3 hours ago. Nathan sighed as he past her door before knocking gently, when he heard no reply he quietly peeped his head into the dark space. 'Hales….are you awake?'

There was nothing for a few moments before he heard her soft sigh. 'Yea…' She said almost reluctantly. 'You know I hate to fall asleep on a fight.' She couldn't help but notice they seemed to have argued more recently than they had in all their time of being friends.

If that wasn't a warning sign, she didn't know what was.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you and I shouldn't have said them things.' Nathan admitted then as he walked over to her bed.

Haley reached across turning on her bedside light as she pulled her body up. 'So why did you?'

'I just….I'm just looking out for you that's all.'

'I'm not 17 anymore Nathan I can handle myself.' Haley reasoned.

'You'll always be the girl I have to protect you know that.'

She felt him carving into the stone walls etched around her heart since earlier. But she was still so confused. None of it explained how irritated he was. 'I get that, but you were so pissed at me Nathan since you came in the door….'

'It was just a really long day at work and I took it out on you.' Nathan said regretfully hating himself right now for being that person.

_But you've had loads of long days at work and this never happens_. She wanted to shout those words out but she didn't. She was so self-aware of the fickle changes in their relationship that it terrified her. There was a reason Nathan had been so pissed, he thought something had happened with her and Jake and he was annoyed, but didn't their friends with benefits ruse protect them from feeling anything of the sort?

'Nathan….' Haley began softly then as she met his gaze before she glanced down at her hands fidgeting with the comforter. 'I don't know if we should do this anymore.' She mumbled.

He knew exactly what she was talking out the moment those word left her lips and the sense of let-down almost floored him. 'Because of Jake?' He choked out. After all that's when they said they would stop this, when it was potentially going somewhere with someone. He just didn't expect that to be _so_ soon.

_Because of us_. Her mind roared at her. 'Maybe..' Haley muttered. 'I don't know..' She said weakly.

'Okay.' That acceptation was like a blunt razor blades scraping up throat. Painfully hard to contend with. Disturbingly so.

'Okay?' She didn't know why but she had expected a counterargument from him, the fact she didn't get one allowed a rather bewildering disappointment settle within her.

'Well yea if you're having any doubts at all we need to end this.' Nathan said. 'It's what we said right, we need to be honest with each other?'

'Right.' Haley mumbled, why was she now feeling even worse than before?

Nathan slapped his hands against his knees before standing up. 'I better get to bed it's late.'

A rather unwillingness settled in the air amongst them, neither really desiring to leave the other alone for the night but both contending with the cold truth of what was; they were best friends and cuddling each other in bed for the night just didn't happen unless they could hide behind sex. And they certainly weren't having sex tonight.

'Night Nathan.' Haley said softly then.

'Night Hales.'

**XXXXX**

Nathan pushed out the revolving door from his office glancing at his watch grimacing, he was supposed to get back to the apartment where Haley had the housewarming gift and go from there. They were heading to a gathering in Brooke's new apartment tonight which had begun over an hour ago and he knew he was already over half an hour behind schedule.

'Rushing somewhere.' Haley teased as she watched Nathan stumble out of his office a little dishevelled as he shook his wrist trying to get a glance at the time.

Nathan came to a halt when he heard her voice as he glanced across noticing her leaning against the building in a dressy black duffle coat, he noticed that teasing smirk on her face then and he really looked at her; she was definitely made up for the night.

'Haley…what..' Nathan said confused then.

'I know we said we'd go from the apartment but Lucas took the gift in the car earlier and I figured you might be here a little later.' She shrugged.

Nathan walked over to her then. 'You look nice.' He commented softly as he sent her a small smile. The contrast of her red lippy against the black coat was striking, her lips were so tantalising, the sheer glass illuminated a taste he knew was so succulent.

'Thanks.' Haley said as she eyed him oddly wondering what he was doing, he was looking at her strangely. 'What….' She touched around her lips hesitantly. 'Don't tell me its smudged already…' She said.

'Huh….' Nathan said not catching a single word she just rambled to him.

'You're looking at me like I've something on my face.' Haley said self-consciously.

Nathan shook his head of his thoughts; he really shouldn't have been thinking about kissing his best friend. His mind was a haze and he was completely frazzled from work, he allowed himself a moment of complete idiocy.

It's not like he even knew where he stood with Haley and their situation, on Monday night she'd sort of suggested they she thought they shouldn't continue sleeping together and he'd said okay but there didn't seem to be a degree of finality to that conversation.

It felt more like a sweeping cautious consideration.

Neither of them had seen much of each other this week to even talk about it. Nathan berated himself for even allowing his thoughts to go there in a perfectly normal situation, Haley had many a times met him from his work like this for a night out. 'I'm sorry I just didn't expect to see you that's all.' Nathan recovered then as he ran his hand over his head rather fazed.

Haley smiled softy at him before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him leaning her head against his chest.

'What's this for?' Nathan said as he rested his chin on top of her head, her actions doing nothing to ease the rather dissimilar feelings swarming inside of him.

'I just missed you that's all.' Haley said as she breathed in the scent of his familiar cologne, and for a split second she felt the sudden urge to snake her nose up his neck revelling in that musky scent further, the thought of doing just that had a sudden sense of anticipation pooling in her belly. Haley pulled back then frowning at how unconventional those thoughts were given their situation; they'd hugged many times like this before.

'What's on your mind?' Nathan said then as he noticed the frown lines etched on Haley's face semi-relieved she had pulled away from him because he felt he needed to distance himself from her for a while to clear his head.

'Oh nothing…' Haley said then as she cajoled herself, now was so not the time to be pondering why she had such unexpected urges from a simple hug.

'You sure…'

Haley nodded her head really hoping now wasn't one of those times Nathan would try and pull it out of her. She smiled relived when he put his hand on the small of her back as they began walking away from his work building. 'So is there going to be a big crowd at this thing?'

'I don't know, Brooke said she was only inviting a few from work alongside us.'

Nathan nodded. 'How was school?' He said then wanting to hear about her day because he knew he wouldn't get the chance to chat with her properly once they got into this place.

'It was good, today was the first day I really felt like I've made the right decision going down this route with teaching you know.' Haley smiled then as she linked her arm in with his as they walked along.

'Good I'm glad Hales.' Nathan smiled down at her.

'What about you? Were they happy with the presentation?'

'I think so I mean there were some things when I looked back on it I could have added but…'

'I'm sure they were impressed.' Haley interrupted softly and she couldn't help but smile. It's like herself and Nathan switched persona's when it came to their working lives, he was the worrier, the over-analyser, the perfectionist almost and she was much more laid-back, teaching felt so natural for her. Whereas in real life Haley was the over-analyser and Nathan was much more laid back. In a way the crossover complimented them perfectly.

'What are you smiling at?' Nathan teased.

'I'm sorry you just always tease me about being so uptight about some things and well with work…'

'I'm not uptight I just want things to run smoothly.'

'Yea and you get nervous and jumpy if you don't think they will and if you look up uptight in the dictionary you'll find those exact words.' Haley rebuked teasingly.

'Yea yea whatever Miss James you know you're not my tutor anymore I don't have to listen to you.' Nathan joked back.

Haley scoffed. 'You better listen to me.'

'Or what?'

'Or I'll never make you lasagne again.'

'Well Milani do pretty good lasagne.' Nathan shrugged like that was no big deal.

'But mine is better.' Haley mused as she glanced up at him to find him smirking at her. It was that smile that made his eyes crinkle, it was deep and heartful and it made her feel warm inside.

'That's true.' Nathan relented, after all Haley's lasagne was a recipe she'd gotten from his mom and it was the exact replica of her one from the café.

**XXXXX**

'Brooke you know you're giving everyone that enters a shot..' Haley said rather amused.

'Yess…' Brooke squealed as though it was simply the best idea in the world.

'And you are doing one with them every time?'

'Hmm….let me tell you…yea.' Brooke said making a face.

'Okaay….this is for you.' Haley said as she filled up a shot glass with water and handed it to her friend.

'You're the best.' Brooke beamed.

'And you're going to die tomorrow.' Haley said.

'At least I'll die in this beautiful apartment isn't it beautiful Haley?'

'It's really beautiful Brooke.' Haley said for like the hundredth time that night but she couldn't help but smile.

'Pretty girl you might want to take it easy, it's only 11 o clock.' Lucas grimaced as he came into the kitchen grabbing more beer out of the fridge for the guys.

'I won't be taking it easy with you later.'

'TMI…' Haley scoffed.

Lucas just chuckled.

'At least I only talk about it Hales, Rachel seems to want to give everyone a full show.' Brooke said quirking her eyebrows. 'Check this…' She said firing her glass up in their direction where sure enough Rachel was scraping her nail down Nathan's chest, one of her knees was pressed in-between his legs, she was practically throwing herself at him. 'I think he's the only reason she came here tonight.'

Haley laughed then. 'Oh god Nathan's face.'

Lucas chuckled. 'Maybe we should rescue him.'

'Nah let him stew.' Brooke mused as the girls smirked.

'You're both so evil.' Lucas joked.

'Hey, the amount of times he's laughed at me when a really annoying guy hit on me at college parties.' Haley said defending herself.

'You're forgetting he did end up knocking most of those guys out.' Lucas said with a knowing smirk.

'That's true but I'm afraid Rachel will slap anyone that tries to pull her off him.' Brooke implored and they all nodded in agreement.

'Oh she's going in for the kill!' Brooke said her eyes twinkling as though she was watching some unseen hot teenage drama on tv.

Haley scoffed as she looked across at them and she was rather surprised to see Nathan actually willingly leave with her as they stepped outside the sliding door onto Brooke's balcony

'Playing hard to get..' Rachel teased as she came up to Nathan running one of her fake nails down his navy shirt.

'How about not playing anything..' Nathan commented with a smirk as he brought his beer bottle to his lips, he could feel Rachel's eyes on him the whole time. The girl was persistent, he'd give her that and she was helping him somewhat. He just needed a distraction from this whole situation with Haley, it's like ever since they had semi called quits on the entire thing he craved her more which was completely fucked up because he was the one that said they could end this anytime they wanted. No feelings involved so why was he so desperate to take her on every surface in this entire apartment?

'Good cause I'm not playing anything either, I want what I want and that's it.' Rachel's slinky voice interrupted him from his rather invasive thoughts as he glanced at her watching as she took the beer bottle from his hands sucking on the top so expertly he knew she'd obviously used this ploy on men most Saturday nights.

She dropped his bottle down onto the floor beside her then before she pulled him out onto the balcony and shoved him back against the building rather roughly as she began her assault on his neck before meeting his lips, he could hear her groaning as Nathan kissed her back rather harshly, she liked it but he was only doing so to force those unwanted images from his mind, images from the last night he was in a similar position with Haley were evading him creating a rather disturbing juxtaposition as he desperately tried to focus on what Rachel was doing to him as opposed to the simple fact that her smell wasn't heightening his senses in the same way nor did he crave her taste like he did Haley's.

He pulled away from her then, fire in his eyes, annoyed at himself for even creating such comparisons, what the fuck was happening to him? Why the hell was he thinking about her now with another girl? This had never happened before, ever. Was it simply because it wasn't going to happen between them again?

He watched as Rachel's eyes sparkled with delight acknowledging his aggression towards her as some sort of lust for her which couldn't be further from the truth. A sheen of sweat rising on his skin from his pure mental panic alone.

He just needed to rinse Haley from his mind completely.

'Do you want to get out of here?' Nathan found himself saying. It was unusual for min, he usually didn't just sleep with a girl, the aftermath wasn't worth the momentary pleasure of a one-night stand, sex was never just sex even though he did a good job convincing himself of that very fact with Haley. Rachel's eyes were full of triumph and she wasted no time pulling them both out of Brooke's apartment.

Before they even left the apartment complex she had pulled him back into a hidden grove and began unbuttoning his shirt. It was pretty dark but there was a chance of anyone catching them, she obviously didn't care. He felt her nails raking down his chest and he pulled her face to his in a rough kiss hoping it would finally break his stupid inability to feel any sort of desire from this.

Eventually her hands tugged on the buckle of his jeans and he pushed her away stalling himself. Rachel looked at him completely confused.

Nathan couldn't believe he was saying this. 'I'm sorry….I….I can't.' He mumbled completely vexed with himself over why he had to stop this.

'Nice!' Rachel goaded with an eye roll. 'Another girl?' Shew threw out as she fixed her mini skirt and blouse.

Nathan shrugged helplessly.

'The hot ones always have issues.' She mumbled as she straightened herself out.

'What?'

'Nothing.' She shook her head as she looked at him. 'Look just call me when it doesn't work out because giving how quickly you gave in tonight, let's face it it's not going to.' Rachel quipped before stalking away from him.

Nathan thumped his hand against the wall behind him as he let out a heavy breath, those intrusive thoughts were completely overwhelming him and he tried so hard to repress them but they came back in full force, Nathan closed his eyes trying to quell the torment inside of him before opening them again, the alcohol lacing through his veins made him much more vulnerable to his thoughts he knew that but he couldn't erase this smothering need for her away. Maybe if he just had her one more time?

**XXXXX**

Haley was waving her dollars around the back of the taxi.

'Haley I got this.' Lucas said as he wafted her hand away from the taxi-man.

'Thanks Luke you're the best.' Haley said as she got out of the taxi. She hadn't even realised Lucas had followed her until she felt his presence looming over her. 'Luke I can get the keycode into my apartment I didn't even drink that much.'

The two of them were interrupted then as Nathan turned back from where he was walking inside wondering who the hell was coming in behind him at this ungodly hour.

'Nate…' Lucas said then rather surprised as he came through the gate with Haley to see his brother standing there. Haley felt his gaze linger on her and she glanced away afraid he could possibly read what was going through her mind, she didn't want to see him again tonight. Those unwanted images of him in and Rachel in bed together flashed through her mind. She needed more time to deal with this and knock herself out of it, afraid he'd pick up on the fact that it had actually bothered her.

'Where's Rachel?' Lucas said amusedly.

'That didn't really work out.' Nathan said.

'What she ask you to be her boyfriend or something' Lucas goaded.

Nathan shook his head at him. 'What you doing here anyway aren't you staying at Brooke's?'

'I've got a flight in like 4 hours from now so I figure I've more a chance of making it going now.'

Nathan grimaced. 'Good luck with that.'

'Anyways I need to go, I'll see you guys next week.' Lucas said as he left the two of them standing there. Haley cleared her throat before walking on ahead of Nathan as she keyed in the code for the main entrance. She pushed through the door as Nathan followed behind her, both of them went straight for the elevator. Waiting for the lift to open Haley couldn't help but feel the tension clinging to the air around them. As the door opened Haley stepped in and finally leaned her body back against one side of the lift as she slipped off her peep toe heels.

Nathan smiled as he watched her, such a familiar action warmed him. 'You always wear those shoes heels despite how painful you know they are.' He teased her softly.

'They're pretty Nathan.' Haley mumbled her same reply clearly not backing down on the fact that it justified any level of pain. His husky laugh sent shivers right down her spine.

'So did you have fun?…' Nathan asked.

'Yeaaa…' She drawled as she kept her eyes closed hoping it would somehow disguise how perturbed she felt. She was angry at herself for feeling so bothered by it all. She was the one that had expressed them seeing other people while benefitting would be a good idea and yet here she was feeling troubled by the thought of him with Rachel tonight. But then again she was troubled by the thought of him sleeping with her which she could justify right? Because she had been sleeping with him. _You ended it Haley._ Her mind taunted her. Haley sighed.

'What happened with Rachel?' Haley asked then she couldn't help herself, it's not like her asking Nathan about a girl after a night out was anything new for them. And yet tonight as she waited to hear his answer, her stomach was in knots. She opened her eyes glancing at him.

'Nothing I left her at Brookes.' Nathan said as he looked Haley in the eye.

She didn't want to feel that solace of reassurance warm her insides but the realisation that nothing may not have happened did just that.

'Why?' Haley found herself asking rather quietly.

'Because of you.' Nathan teased as he sent her that cheeky boy smirk and her eyes met his in surprise then at his words. She could tell he was slightly merry but not enough to talk absolute and utter nonsense which was what had just come from his lips. Had he really just said what she thought he said?

He didn't know what it was but the tension that seemed to be surrounding them since earlier had somehow followed them into the lift and it was stifling, Nathan took a step closer to Haley rather enjoying the fact she seemed to flinch a little from his smouldering gaze. And hell he couldn't justify what he was doing, what he had just said, he knew it was wrong, dangerous even to do this considering how things were left and yet the desire, the impulse was too powerful, once again rendering him completely indisposed to her.

He watched as Haley began to bite down on her lip. 'Nathan….' His words fell from her lips rather shakily as he took that final step closer to her effectively boxing her in. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and he smirked grateful that she seemed to be effected by him as much as he was by her tonight.

He lowered his mouth to her neck then leaving a trail of gentle kisses before nipping and sucking on her pulse point. 'Nathan…what are…ohh…' Haley moaned then despite herself as he found her weak spot.

'Nathan….we shouldn…'

'I want you.' Nathan said interrupting her then not wanting to hear the end of her sentence and he pushed himself into her so she could feel _all_ of him. 'Can't you feel how much I want you?' He whispered huskily in her ear.

Haley could only moan in response as she felt his hard cock pressing against her thigh, she found herself desperately wanting to feel that cock pounding into her and all reservation she had surrounding them seemed to render her completely merciful to this flaming desire she had for him. The feel of how hard he was for her already had the heat blistering in her belly chasing the flame of erotic pleasure only he could ignite within her.

The lift came to a halt then on their floor as Nathan pulled back from her neck grabbing Haley by the thighs he hoisted her up as he smashed his lips against hers before walking them out towards their apartment door, within seconds he had her pushed back against the door as they kissed ferociously.

They pulled away when air became an issue and Nathan found himself growing impossibly harder at the sight of her smudged red lips and tangled hair from him running his hands through it, she looked so beautifully alluring and he felt that one look from her sending tremors throughout his whole body. He refused to even question how profoundly his body was reacting to the look of her right now.

Haley watched, her lips parted, breathing ragged, the changing emotions in his darkened orbs. His eyes were a mix of the black ocean, dotted with the faintest hint of moonlight and amongst the lust she felt his affection seep into her bones stirring up a myriad of unfamiliar sensations in her, Nathan had never looked at her before the way he was looking at her now. She tugged on his shirt collar then pulling him back to her in a heated kiss as he pushed them through their front door. She relished in the taste of him, the hot wetness of his mouth and the feeling of his hard cock beneath her as she began unbuttoning his shirt before she even knew where she was she felt Nathan pull back pulling her dress of her completely as he dropped her down onto his bed, the heat in her belly was spreading to every part of her body as she watched him drink in her body laid out on his bed. Nathan peeled off his shirt and the rest of his clothes before he crawled over her.

'You're beautiful.' He said softly then as he pushed her blonde locks away from her face. Haley held his gaze swallowing hard at his words, he'd called her a lot of things before but never that, what was happening?

She whimpered as she felt Nathan kiss his way down her tummy before hooking his fingers into her panties and sliding them down her legs.

'Nathan…' Haley whimpered then as she felt his finger delicately glide over right where she needed his cock to be. It was unnerving how much her body seemed to crave him but right now the pleasurable anticipation overruled any other coherent thought in her mind. She gasped out loud then as she felt his mouth on her drinking up her juices. 'Oh god….Nathan…' She cried out lout as his tongue began tantalising her clit in a teasing circular motion that had her feeling incredibly fuzzy. 'Oh please…' Haley begged deliriously as he kept up his slow tortuous pace.

God she tasted phenomenal he wondered why it had taken him so long to take her like this. 'What do you want Hales?' Nathan said huskily as he lifted his head up relishing in the fact that he had her acting so inebriety to his advances.

'More…I need it faster.' Haley whimpered and moaned contentedly as she felt Nathan's tongue on her again this time he began to build up a ferocious rhythm as his hands spread her legs, his thumbs leaving gentle caresses against her tights, his mouth working over her fiercely. Haley felt the blistering heat build to an inferno of pleasure as her tummy tightened before her body began to shudder and quiver from the force of her orgasm. She whimpered mercifully as she felt Nathan continue to suck on her until her body began to still. She lay there completely stunned from the force of her orgasm and she cried out softly as she felt Nathan climb back up on top of her, his hard cock pressing against her.

'Haley I need you.' Nathan whispered hotly against her neck as he kissed her softly there, his cock was painfully hard at this stage having watched her succumb to him like she had moments before. He continued to slowly and gently kiss her neck as his cock glided inside of her soaking centre. Haley gasped beneath him as he rested his head on the crook of her neck and began to thrust in and out of her building a steady rhythm.

She raked her nails softly up and down his back as she felt him drive himself into her building up the intensity of his thrusts every time, she found she loved the feeling of his body resting almost completely over hers like this, he completely covered her and he was co close to her it was like his cock was packing into her even more in this position.

'Ugh you feel so good.' Haley moaned as Nathan groaned in response to her words against her neck. He continued to drive into her as he laid his head against her neck relishing in the feel of their slick bodies so moulded together in every way. Their moans and low grunts of pleasure filled the room as she met him with each deep thrust inside of her.

This time as Nathan pulled out of her he drove into her harshly building to a relentless pace as he felt his cock twitch inside of her…'Hales I'm…..god.' He groaned aloud as he felt his orgasm completely overwhelm him, her walls clenched around him simultaneously both of their bodies quivering with immense rapture as they found their release together.

Haley continued to run her nails softly up and down Nathan's back as she felt his breathing even out on her neck. After several seconds he pulled off her then before laying on his back beside her.

Haley sat up then tugging on the covers tossed at the bottom of Nathan's bed as she pulled them over the two of them, she snuggled into his side then and felt his arm draw her in closer to him.

They laid in silence for a long time, neither saying anything.

'Nathan…' Haley said softly after a significant amount of time had passed.

'Hmm…' Nathan sighed contentedly.

'You know Tree Hill is next weekend.' She said softly. She didn't know why but being here with him like this in this moment it felt like the right time to bring it up.

She felt his body tense beneath her and she began to draw soothing circles across his chest. 'I know…I told you I'm going Hales.' Nathan mumbled out as he focused on the soothing feeling of her touches against his chest.

'Well I've decided to go on Wednesday because I'm helping Deb with organising the event, I thought we could take a few days together…' Haley said biting her lip as she glanced up at him trying to gauge his reaction to this. He was frowning somewhat which didn't settle well with her.

'I'm not sure I can afford to take time off.' Nathan said then.

'But you were away and you said things would quieten down after San Fran, besides I think a few days away would be good for you.' Haley reasoned softly. She pulled her hand off his chest then and leaned up to glance properly at him.

Sending her shift above him Nathan opened his eyes to catch that knowing look on her face. 'What?' He said rather reluctantly.

'Is this about work or is this about you not wanting to be there because of your mom?'

He swallowed hard, her tone was soft and cautious, her brown eyes shone with worry for him. He could lie to her knowing she would see through it regardless and he'd insist she'd let it go. But somehow tonight lying wasn't as option, he didn't know what had changed but something had, Haley always looked at him concerned but there was something different about how that look made him feel tonight.

'I don't know if I can handle it.' Nathan admitted quietly as he turned his face away from her.

She wasn't sure what she expected but it wasn't that admission, the fear in his words laced with the troubled look on his features had her heart constricting. 'Don't do that.' Haley pleaded softly as she ran her hand along his stubbled cheek pulling him back to face her. She leaned in leaving a gentle kiss on his lips, they made out softly and she felt Nathan slanting his mouth open for her as her tongue slid in gliding in against his, the sound of their hot, wet kisses filled the empty space before Haley pulled back, brown met blue and they both seemed to be transfixed by this enticingly dissimilar pull between them.

'I'm going to be there it's going to be ok.' Haley said assuredly.

She watched as Nathan shifted around then lying on his side before he pulled Haley down gently so she too was on her side and he cuddled her close to him. Haley felt his arm wrap around her waist holding her tight and she felt the tears well in her eyes for him, the way he was holding her now it took her back to that night when he clung to her with the only strength he had left, they were 19 at the time and now at the age of 23 like back then she wished she could make it all go away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks so much for your reviews I love reading them **

**Chapter 12 **

'Haley I can't thank you enough for all this.' Deb commented softly as she dropped the last two boxes by the café doors ready to be brought over to Tric. It was the day of Tric's ten-year anniversary and to commemorate Karen all proceeds were going towards a local charity supporting victims of road traffic accidents and their relatives.

'You know it's been nice being back here again.' Haley smiled as she threw the dish cloth over her shoulder, while Deb had been extremely busy prepping for tonight the past few days Haley had covered for her at the café.

'All you're missing is Nathan running through the door with a basketball and it would be just like old times.'

Haley's smiled faltered a little at the mention of her best friend.

'I'm sorry have you still not heard from him?' Deb said then as she came around to the coffee filter pouring herself a cup.

Haley shrugged. 'He just doesn't seem to want to hear about any of it even though he insists he is fine.'

Deb nodded her head in understanding. 'He's never really spoke about her to me.' She said softly.

Haley smiled sadly. 'He doesn't speak about it much to anyone.'

'Even you?'

'Barely.' Haley admitted. 'I have threaded so carefully Deb but this has been going on for years and I feel like it's just become this thing we've silently agreed that we won't talk about.'

'Well it might be you that needs to give him the nudge to change that.'

'Trust me I've tried he puts up the Berlin wall.' Haley said.

Deb smiled knowingly at that. 'That's the Nathan I know.' She said.

Haley sighed. 'I just don't know what to do about tonight, he's not answering my calls that's if he even comes.'

'He'll come.' Deb said reassuredly. 'You can only do what you've always been doing Haley just be there for him. I know you might not see it but you've helped him more than you know I see so much of Karen's gentle grace in you and I guess Nathan always has..'

Haley felt her eyes watering slightly as she listened to Deb's words. 'I wish she could be here for this.'

'I know hunny but in a way she is at least she better be cause I've been telling her all week to make this thing go smoothly for us.' Deb teased lightly then lifting their low spirits.

Haley laughed then despite herself. 'You know you've done a really amazing thing here Deb keeping this place open all these years.'

Deb smiled. 'Yea being in here its like a piece of her is still with us.'

Haley smiled as she went over to the boxes she'd brought in getting them organised for later, as much as she had worried that the whole homey essence of this café would be lost with Karen's passing she felt a sense of warmth reside within her that it was in fact just the same, she glanced at the familiar sign hanging over the door and smiled. Not all was lost, she just wished Nathan could feel that.

**XXXXX**

'I didn't realise Karen was your mom you know I heard you were Lucas' brother so I just assumed..' Chase hinted and Nathan nodded. 'Yea that's a pretty messed up story man.' Nathan commented as he pulled himself up onto the bar stool.

The event had been going on over two hours now, a few acts had taken to the stage and there had been an interlude where some victims who worked with the charity spoke of their experiences. It was during that time he felt the urge to bolt so strongly but he persevered knowing it would only lead to further inspection from everyone especially Haley down the line, it was easier to remain here and force his mind to go elsewhere; focus on anything else.

_Haley_. He could focus on her, only the warmth he usually felt fill him up when he thought about her was actually only making him feel even more bitter about everything. Jake had been around her for a good part of the night and she wasn't exactly leaving his side.

He was just feeling incredibly bitter. His mom should be here for this moment, she should be here to celebrate a dream that turned into a reality, he remembered running in the door with his rucksack slinging off him, that beat up basketball and his mom was there planting this vision on her board someday promising she would make it a reality. He was 13 at the time and he looked at her like she was crazy; a nightclub taking off in a small town like this.

But her dream had come to pass and yet time so evilly had stolen her away.

It wasn't fair. The stories that others had shared tonight _didn't help_ him understand, he didn't feel better knowing they could collectively empathise with each other.

_No,_ he only felt worse.

'Still I'm sorry man.' Chase said then breaking Nathan from his despondent thoughts.

It was a very thin line between telling someone to fuck off or stay quiet about this matter right now but as Nathan glanced at Chase he realised it was actually easier to stay quiet. He liked him, he could sense there was no bullshit where he was concerned, he wasn't from Tree Hill and he didn't care to know every detail of the town's inhabitants lives, there was no pity or remorse just I'm sorry and that's it. 'You know what make that a double.' Nathan said eying the whiskey Chase was currently pouring him.

Chase pushed the drink across the bar and Nathan knocked it back in one hefty dose. _To mum_, he thought hopelessly. He rolled his glass back over to Chase and no words were even needed before it was back in his hands again.

He was sipping slowly away on his third whiskey when he felt her presence near him before he could even see her, her sweet scent was pooling in the air around him, he tensed as he felt her hand come up to graze his shoulder.

'You doing ok?' Haley said softly as she pulled herself up on the stool beside him. She'd wanted to give Nathan some space tonight knowing if she was latching onto him checking in with him every minute it would do more harm than good. Still she'd been watching him from a distance as he sat at the bar and she just couldn't keep her distance any longer. She felt this strong pull to be close to him. The moment his familiar cologne filled her senses it was like the restlessness in her body was appeased.

That was until he spoke.

'What do you think? 'Nathan said coldly without even looking in her direction. He was bitter and angry, the ugliest of emotions were consuming him. Nothing else seemed to want to come out, he couldn't _feel_ anything else.

Haley bit her lip from retaliating, she knew this night was stirring up a lot of buried emotions for him. She didn't want to snap at his irate behaviour so she tried hard to suppress her own irked feelings towards him for not even answering the phone to her since she'd left New York. Aside from a few texts their first bit of contact was when he'd came into the café with Lucas today and up to that point it had been a 50/50 chance he'd even walk through that door.

Haley ran her hand up and down his shoulder soothingly until she felt Nathan shrug her off as he pulled up off his stool.

'Nathan…' Haley began as she tugged on his hand.

'What Haley?' He bit out and pulled away from her. She swallowed hard catching his darkened eyes then, the frustration oh so evident but also the slight flicker of pain which she knew he was trying to shield from her. 'Why don't you go back to laughing alongside Jake and stop pretending to be sad just because I'm here. I'm not sad ok so drop the concern.' He bit out before he turned away from her.

Haley glanced to her left catching Chase's sympathetic stare at her before she pulled away from the bar. She followed after him noticing he was making his way towards the back exit. 'Where are you going?' Haley said as she came through the back-exit doors behind him. Nathan was already making his way down the steps. 'Nathan.'

'I'm going home Haley I'm done.' He said as he finally stopped and turned to face putting his hands up as if to shield himself even further from her. She _hated_ when he did that. Did he not know her well enough by now to realise that was never going to work?

Haley stalled in front of him then swallowing hard at the burning rage in his eyes. 'Look I know this is hard for you but you don't have to be so…'

He scoffed interrupting her then. 'How would you know?' He spewed at her.

Haley crossed hey eyes at him not really sure where he was going with that one. _How wouldn't she know?_ She'd lived through this pain too and of course his was way beyond her comprehension but it's not like she didn't carry that day, that moment with her like he did. 'Nathan I was there….'

He laughed sordidly at that; the sound had her stomach twisting painfully. 'You've spent the entire night laughing with Jake like a pair of fucking teenagers and now you're saying that this night is hard for you…'

'Of course this is hard on me Nathan, Karen was like a mom to me you know that.' Haley retaliated feeling the anger she previously squashed beginning to seep through the cracks of her calm exterior. 'And if you must know we were laughing about all the times Karen embarrassed herself when she used to stand up at the mic.'

'Whatever it looked like more than that.'

Haley gasped at his unusual hostility towards her. 'What's this about Nathan, you got a problem with Jake now?'

'No I've got a problem with you Haley, I needed my best friend tonight and you couldn't even come near me.'

'I tell you I'll be there for you and you ignore all my calls since Wednesday, I give you space and you tear me down for not caring…..I'm not a damn mind reader Nathan.' Haley said feeling exasperated with it all.

He knew she was right and he swallowed thickly, he couldn't make sense of why he was feeling this way, so angry at her for not being with him, it was a strange sense of desperation pulling within him.

Haley watched as Nathan took a step back his gaze turned downward. This was certainly not how she had envisaged bringing this up with him but her emotions were running so high completely overriding her rational mind right now and everything she had been harbouring just came spilling out. 'I mean….I'm trying so hard to give you space to deal with this but it's been four years Nathan and I wonder if you've ever dealt with it at all.' She watched the flash of disbelief flicker in his eyes as he glanced up at her again.

'I deal with it every single day.' Nathan bit back defensively as he cut his eyes at her. He couldn't believe she had just said that now given how emotionally charged he was right now. Haley should know not to bring _it_ up like this.

'Did you go and visit her today?' Haley said softly then.

'Haley…' He warned her his eyes seeking hers but he wasn't daring her to continue, he was silently begging her to quit it now.

'I said did you go and see her; did you go to the grave?' His look nearly had her crumbling but she pushed past it, she could read the silent pleading in his eyes.

'Why are you bringing that up, I'm trying to talk about us Haley…'

'Don't you see it?' Haley pleaded sadly. 'It's the same thing.'

When she got nothing from him she glanced at him noticing the rage in his eyes had lessened , the pain had somewhat taken over. It was enough for her to speak up again. 'I think you avoided that grave today because you can't deal with it.'

'Stop it Haley..' It was almost like he was begging now.

'No I've tiptoed around you enough Nathan and you wouldn't do the same for me…this wouldn't even annoy you so much had you dealt with it, look at you…' Haley admonished as she watched his temper flare again, it seemed to be battling against his pain, his breathing was coming fast and heavy as he turned away from her. 'I'm worried Nath…'

'God Haley what do you want from me?' Nathan blew up then cutting her off completely as he turned back to face her watching as her hand flew up to her chest not expecting him to shout at her like that.

'You want me to tell you that that night still haunts me….cause it does, I still have dreams about us in that car playing that stupid fucking game.' He seethed his eyes a fiery merge of anger and torment. 'Hell I've dreams where it's not you takes the call but it's you that dies.' He cried out, flecks of sorrow now breaking through the fury.

'Nathan…' Haley whispered brokenly.

'It haunts me every day I live my life Haley and wake up and realise that she is still gone, I'm constantly replaying all the things she missed and will miss..' His eyes were watering but he swallowed the sob down before it threatened to suffocate him whole. 'And no hearing other's peoples stories doesn't help me, none of it _fucking_ helps because of none of it will _ever_ bring her back…..so you tell me how do you deal with that?' He look was cutting, full of disdain as though he hated her for giving so much power to his pain.

'Nathan…' Haley pleaded sadly and she was wasn't sure how all of a sudden she was the one pleading with him now, as though his words were too painful for her to hear. He turned away from her trying to collect himself but she pulled him back into her launching into him, throwing her arms around his neck as she claimed his lips, she knew she had taken him by complete surprise as it took him a few seconds to react but when he did she groaned into his mouth as he forcefully slid his tongue into her mouth tasting her and kissing her so earnestly.

He felt all the coldness from those ugly emotions seep away from him as his mind became clouded with the familiar warmth her presence always gave him expect it had magnified to such intensity seeping into every part of him, his whole body burning up begging for her to stay near him.

Haley pulled back then all too soon and the cold truth of who they were and where they were nestled into his bones again. They couldn't be doing this here. They _shouldn't_ be doing this. Haley just rested her head against his pounding heart breathing him in.

'Hales…' Nathan mumbled as she pulled back, a heartfelt expression on her face sending another sweeping wave of emotion through him. He felt her tug on his arm then pulling him away from Tric and he glanced at her curiously.

'Come on…' She said. 'There's something I want to show you.'

**XXXXX**

Nathan and Haley walked in comfortable silence as the familiar path toward the café stretched before them, the streetlights created a calming ambience, the nostalgic feeling of it all; them walking side by side like this not lost on either of them. And yet that nostalgia was too laced with a dissimilar feeling that neither could pinpoint. As though they had grown out of who they once were and yet were holding onto it all the same.

Nathan smiled as Haley routed the key out from her bag. 'Just like old times you breaking and entering.' He said fondly. Her eyes sparkled at his playful tone and he found himself being completely absorbed by her spirit, despite how hard he knew today was for her too she still managed to dissipate the weight of it all from them both. And he wanted to tell her how much he adored her for that reason alone and yet as he watched her he felt himself clam up which was unusual for him period but especially around Haley. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, why all of a sudden he was feeling nervous he didn't know.

'Please I practically lived here more than you.' Haley teased breaking Nathan from his thoughts as she opened the door. She grabbed onto his hand then trying not to let the current she felt zorbing through her body from his touch affect her outwardly as she pulled him towards the stairs.

As they came to the rooftop area Nathan glanced around at the multi-coloured fairy lights Haley had decked the place out with and smiled as he noticed the pile of cosy blankets and cushions thrown down in the fake grassy patch on the roof. They had lights just like this up for years when they were younger and often came up here. 'You did this?' He said in awe as he glanced around.

Haley smiled softly. 'I planned to show you tomorrow but I think you may need it tonight.' She said as she hugged him from the side.

'Hales…' Nathan choked out.

'No it's ok you don't have to say anything.' She said then as she left a soft lingering kiss on his cheek before she pulled away and walked over to where she'd all the cushions thrown out. He watched her sit down Indian style as she gazed up at the sky and he followed her throwing off his shoes and jacket as he sat down beside her. They sat there for the longest time just allowing the nightfall to soak up their contemplations.

'Haley I know tonight was hard for you, I didn't mean to…'

'You don't have to explain yourself Nathan I understand.' She said softly.

'No I do, I was angry….I am angry Hales and I know that all of this is hard on you too' He hesitated as he blew out a breath. 'I just never want you to think that I don't care about how it affects you because I do even when I don't show it.'

She smiled sadly at him as she moved closer resting her head on his shoulder like she had so many times before when they used to sit up here. 'I know you do.' She said as she cuddled into his side. 'I just wish you didn't hold all this resentfulness Nathan, being bitter at the world…it's not going to change what happened, it's only going to eat you up.'

'I don't know how else to be Haley; it make sense to be this way.' He admitted shakily.

'Not for your whole life, Karen wouldn't want that for you.' Haley said as she ran her hand up and down his arm in a soothing manner.

'She should be here tonight; I keep imagining this parallel universe where she is here and god it hurts Haley to even think about…' Nathan faltered a little. 'I miss her so much.'

'I know.' Haley said her voice breaking with the emotion of it all. 'I know you do.'

'It's perfectly normal to think of what could have been but you can't keep doing that to yourself' Haley said softly. 'Should have been or could have been is only going to bring you more pain Nathan and I don't want that for you.' Haley reasoned soothingly. She felt Nathan shift beside her slightly as he pulled back to face her.

Nathan let her words wash over him, seeping into him, they filled him with hope, everything that his best friend as a younger girl had always been to him; hope. He realised that now he would have never survived losing his mom had she not been there just like she was here for him now.

But she wasn't that young girl anymore, instead she had grown into a graceful and captivating young woman. He'd always been mesmerised by her, even as young boy she had captured something in his heart, of what he wasn't sure but now that fondness he had once being mesmerised by was altering to something much more profound.

He felt like that young boy in the playground again smiling at her seeking something but not really knowing what that something was.

Only this time his lips captured hers gently in a soft kiss.

Haley felt Nathan's lips land on hers rather hesitantly at first as the kiss carried a gentle grace, enough for her to feel the whirling magnitude of change within her body; their usual fast pace considerably slower. She moaned as she felt Nathan's cold, callous hands snake up the back of her blouse as he pulled her further into him and he finally snaked his tongue into her mouth desperate to taste her. His mouth was warm and inviting, she whimpered against him as he sucked on her tongue. They parted breathing ragged as Haley met his gaze, feeling the pull of something inexplicable inside of her as he looked at her so longingly, his eyes flickering with something unfamiliar and yet so familiar all the same. She gasped as Nathan's hands rose further brushing the underside of her bra as he peeled her blouse completely off her. Nathan's hand danced along her bare arm then sliding her bra straps off so slowly as he leaned in leaving gentle kisses across her shoulder. The feeling of his hot breath on her neckline mingling with his tender touches had her whole body ablaze. She felt his hands unclasp her bra pulling it from her body as his head dipped down sucking slowly and succulently on her perked nipples. Haley threw her head back, crying and withering beneath him as he took her nipple in his mouth sucking and biting down on it. Desperately craving contact with his skin Haley's hands went to his shirt as she began to undo the buttons, Nathan pulled his head away from her breasts his eyes on her fingers as she pulled his shirt down off his shoulders and raked her hands slowly down the groves of his chest smiling as his breathing hitched from such a simple action. She reached his jeans running her hand softly under the waistline noticing him quiver from her touches, glancing up through lustful eyes she found his gaze on her again and they slowly moved forward lips touching again, their mouths warm and inviting, the warmth of their bare chests providing a delectable contrast against the frigid night air.

Without breaking the kiss Nathan laid Haley down back against the cushions as he began to pull her skirt and panties down her leg feeling her hands shuffling with his jeans. Haley whimpered as Nathan's naked body crawled back up hers again feeling his hard cock pressing right against her thigh, god the anticipation from their slow movements was slowly killing her and yet she wanted to hold onto this moment between them for as long as possible as his eyes met hers; the yearning so palpable.

Haley let out a loud whimpering moan as she felt his cock penetrate her so slowly she could literally feel ever single inch of him moving inside her. Unlike the times before when he rested his head on the crook of her neck or closed his eyes, his eyes stayed on hers as though he had locked her into his gaze, she couldn't look away and for all the pleasure and immensity his slow thrusting pace brought her it had nothing on the way he looked at her now and how it was making her feel.

'God Nathan…' Haley whimpered as he began to push into her again keeping that slow controlled pace which was both torturous and yet the most stimulating sex she'd ever experienced. Nathan moaned in response to her words feeling her drive her hips up in a slow rhythm meeting his deep thrusts each time, he couldn't take his eyes off her relishing in the glow that saturated her face, the look of awe in her eyes for how he was making her feel and the surprise each time he pushed himself inside of her so deeply.

He bent his knees up as he pushed in again hitting her even deeper then. 'God you fit in me so perfectly.' Haley cried out, he was sure she didn't even know what she was saying as her mind and her body simultaneously succumbed to the pleasure rapturing in her. But god did her words nearly send him over the edge, his heart pounding, the feelings she was evoking him in were so foreign to him they completely took him by surprise he felt himself pausing as he pulled out of her attempting to recollect himself.

He was looking at her so curiously as his movements stalled. 'Nathan please…' Haley whimpered not even caring how desperate she sounded then, she needed him back inside of her and as soon as she pushed into her again, she felt her whole-body shudder and succumb to the sheer force of her orgasm. He felt her slick warmth clench around his cock the moment he pushed back into her and that coupled with the uncontrollable way his name fell from her lips had his body finally giving in to the rapture building inside of him since the moment they had locked lips.

She delighted in the way her name fell from his lips as his body collapsed on top of hers like a warm blanket, his cock still wedged inside of her, his hot breath coming out in deep pants beside her shoulder. Minutes later she felt Nathan pull out of her and the loss was so instant it pulled her straight back to their reality all too soon. She glanced up at night sky as he lay beside her the gravity of this whole situation weighing heavily on their mind. What had just happened, that encounter between them was anything but ordinary.

As she lay there on the rooftop that held so many memories of their childhood she felt juxtaposed between the warmth of the memories this place held for them and the boundaries it represented; a friendship between a boy and girl.

_A friendship and nothing more. _

The fact it was their friendship and nothing more was the one thing that had given her solace months ago when they had slept together so why now in the aftermath of something so amazing was it causing her so much pain?

Nathan lay beside her not knowing what to say for he could practically hear Haley's thoughts screaming at him. He sighed audibly after a few more silent minutes lingered on between them. He couldn't lie here in silence with her a moment longer, it was that deafening silence which carried a heavy sense of unease. 'Are you ok?' Nathan choked out then, grimacing slightly at such a stupid question because that just opened this whole thing between them up to discussion and he didn't have the strength to contend with that tonight, he didn't even know how. He couldn't be that friend for her right now, the one that was going to promise her that everything was ok…..that everything was the same.

Haley nodded silently as she bit her lip. How could she voice what she was feeling when she didn't even understand it herself? How could she be feeling sad over an agreement that was in place to protect them, to protect their friendship.

'Yea…' She said softly as she turned on her side pulling the throw up to cover their naked bodies as she watched him.

She sounded so relaxed he couldn't tell is she lying to him or not and that completely threw him off centre because he always knew with Haley. He always knew. The fact he couldn't read her right now was as unsettling as the unease that seemed to surround them the moment they came down from their high.

He sighed softly as he spoke. 'Do you remember the last time we slept up here?'

'It was the night your mom died.' Haley whispered softly.

Nathan swallowed hard. 'Yea.' He said. 'I don't remember much from that day Hales but I remember everything about that night.'

She felt him tugging on her then pulling her into his chest much like he had that night, only then they had been fully clothed. And right now it only served as another stark reminder of how far over that line they had crossed, she wondered if they'd ever make it back safely?

She felt Nathan kiss the top of her head then and her heart rocketed. She was suddenly scared for them; she was very scared.

**XXXXX**

Nathan had just poured himself a coffee when he heard a tapping on the café door. Turning to see Lucas he sighed inwardly to himself as he came to open the café door. 'What are you doing here so early?'

'Well top of the morning to you too little brother.' Lucas goaded as he stepped inside. 'Haley said she'd be here.'

'Eh yea she nipped out she'll be back soon' Nathan said as he went back over to the counter avoiding Lucas' scrutinising gaze hoping he wouldn't question it any further.

'Did you go back to Haley's?'

This is the exact conversation he'd wanted to avoid having. 'Yea she insisted I stay up and talk you know how Haley can be.' Nathan mumbled.

Lucas smiled at that. 'I'll bet you loved that.'

Nathan shrugged. 'So what did you need her for?'

'Actually mom said to come down and let her off the hook, she's done the last few mornings. Mom isn't opening it until 12 today she's just doing lunchtime hours.'

Nathan was just about to respond when Haley come through the café door, her blonde hair was tied up in a messy pony and even dressed in a simple pair of indigo denim jeans and a white scoop neck top she looked so radiant. He caught her gaze then smiling rather hesitantly towards her before she turned to look at Lucas.

'As if one Scott brother isn't enough in the mornings.' Haley teased as she popped behind the counter hoping her voice sounded semi-normal and she came across that way, she could feel her cheeks heating up just from Nathan staring and she couldn't bring herself to look back at him right now _God, Haley get a grip_. Last night and how it made her feel was still weighing so heavily on her mind.

'Well at least now you're getting the nice one as well.' Lucas said easily.

Nathan scoffed. 'Still trying to make up for all them years you were a dick?'

'Nathan..' Haley admonished him then and he couldn't help but smile at her as he watched her behind the counter, that image all too familiar.

Ignoring his brother's comment Lucas continued. 'I'm actually here to tell you to relax and leave this here mom has it covered.'

'Well I was just getting everything set up.'

'Its fine honestly she said she doesn't want to see you working here today in the nicest way possible.' Lucas mused.

'Fine…' Haley gave in with a smile as she leaned against the counter in front of the two of them.

'Right I better get back I'm giving Brooke the official tour of Tree Hill today.'

'Enjoy.' Haley called after him as he left.

She glanced up at Nathan then just as he was putting his coffee cup back down on the counter and he gave her a rather timid smile.

It was equally bizarre as it was endearing.

Ever since this whole sex thing started, after random nights they'd share together Nathan would sometimes be rather shy the next morning, which in her case was something she was really not used to with her best friend. Nathan had never been shy in his life. It was a trait she'd never seen in him until now and for some reason she really adored it maybe for the simple fact that it was her that made him feel that way.

'I tidied up the blankets and stuff upstairs, I put them in the back.' Nathan said then breaking the silence.

Haley poured herself a coffee as she came around sitting on the stool next to him. 'Yea I actually came down to bring coffees up to us but then Jake rang and…'

'Jake?'

'Yea and…' Haley paused for a moment. 'We've agreed to stop seeing each other…again.' She said with a shake of her head. 'He had had early flight this morning and he wanted to see me before he left.'

Nathan nodded rather unsettled by the reassurance her words brought him. How could they bring him so much solace? 'It's not like he won't see you in New York though it seems odd he had to tell you that here.' Nathan said trying to distract his mind from those unsettling thoughts.

Haley shrugged. 'I guess he just needed to say it'

'Are you ok?'

Haley smiled at his concern for her. 'Yea I mean it's not like it was going anywhere, it was like two friends dating without the chemistry so….' Haley pondered as she took a sip of her coffee.

Nathan frowned at her words. _So they were effectively two friends not dating with a ton of chemistry._ The yearning, the pull between them, the anticipation, the release all of it seemed to be driven by this stifling chemistry between them. And Nathan had been telling himself that was because they were such close friends all along but now …now he just felt completely disorientated with it all.

'What?' Haley said then noticing the frown on his face.

'Huh?' Nathan said as he glanced at her realising he'd completely spaced out on her, he needed to quit analysing their situation right in front of her. It just wasn't healthy. Haley could read him too well and she would tune into it immediately.

'Nothing…,,I was just….it's nothing.' Nathan fumbled pathetically.

Haley nodded quietly observing him for another few seconds before she let it go. Last night had been burdensome for obvious reasons and Nathan had actually opened up to her a little more than he had in the past few years and she wondered had sex a part to play in that.

It certainly had her feelings all in a jumble, its like everything she was feeling was suddenly amplified and laced with an unyielding yearning which she knew herself was incredibly dangerous. Because sex like what they were having was not supposed to be about connection or longing, it was supposed to be about fun. Fun like they have as friends.

Haley watched as Nathan hopped off the counter then and went around to rinse out his coffee cup. The silence between them now wasn't uncomfortable by any means but it was a different kind of silence, there was a change in the air. _Could he feel it?_ For Haley it felt like it would be impossible not to feel it, to the point where if someone else came into the café now she'd be afraid that somehow they would figure something had changed between her and her best friend.

'Nate…' She called out then grimacing at how odd his old nickname sounded on her lips.

'Yea Hales..' He said as he turned to face her wondering why all of a sudden she seemed so adrift. 'What is it?' He prompted her when she didn't continue.

Haley sighed. 'It's nothing.' She said repeating his earlier words wondering why all of a sudden they seemed to be in some form lying to each other. 'I'm just, I know yesterday was pretty rough on you I'm glad your ok.' She said softly.

Nathan sent her a soft smile not really knowing what to say which was really irking him as he noticed that seemed to be occurring a lot with Haley lately and she was always the one person he could be completely upfront with.

How was it that when they were sleeping together he felt so connected to her, like they were closer than they'd ever being and yet right now it was also beginning to feel like they were drifting apart? He was so far from okay and that wasn't even because of reasons she thought it might be, it was because of her, of them and the fear that maybe, just maybe he had completely misconstrued how their friendship was going to remain so unaffected from all of this.

When in reality it was _already_ falling apart.

**So certain things from their past will unfold in time, I know I alluded to something Nathan knows that Haley doesn't and also I have wrote a chapter set in the past when they lost Karen. Will hopefully have an update again in the next week please let me know what you think. :) **


	13. Chapter 13

**I want to say a big thanks to anyone that is reading and continuing to review or message re this story, it honestly means so much to me I can't tell you enough! I love writing and will always write for myself but to hear people enjoy it is a major bonus. :) **

**Chapter 13**

Haley pushed down hard on her suitcase struggling to zip it up as she noticed Nathan's caller id flashing across the screen. 'Hey, I'll be down in a sec.'

'You're having trouble zipping it aren't you?' He teased through the phone.

Haley rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see her. 'No.' She said rather prickly hearing his laugh at her tone. 'Nathan it's going to be cold I needed to pack a few jumpers.' She reasoned.

'And yet you'll end up wearing the same one the entire weekend.'

'Would you like me to sing on our long drive to New Jersey?' Haley goaded smiling as she could just imagine his facial reaction to that lovely idea of hers.

Nathan groaned relenting on his teasing not quiet fancying listening to Haley's car karaoke for the entire drive which he knew she would stubbornly do. 'Do you need help with you bag?'

Haley smirked to herself, she knew him too well. 'no it's ok I've got it, are you sure you have everything?'

'Yep.' Nathan said popping the p.

'Perfect.' Haley said as she rolled her mini suitcase out of the room. 'Be right down.' She chirped as she ended the call.

Haley really wasn't sure if the impending weekend was the best thing for them right now. It's not like things were weird between them but they certainly weren't normal either. It had been two weeks since they were in Tree Hill and they hadn't slept together since that night. Although that hadn't been purely intentional, life had just gotten very busy and she really hadn't seen much of her best friend.

And now here they were packing up for a weekend in a log cabin for thanksgiving with her family and she was feeling so anxious over it all. But in the end she didn't want her best friend spending thanksgiving alone and despite their current situation Haley always felt more at ease around her family when Nathan was there so she was choosing to push the niggling, anxious thoughts aside.

'Oh look one bag.' Nathan teased as Haley came up beside his car rolling her eyes at him. 'I can sing all the way to New Jersey you know.'

Nathan just chuckled as he put her suitcase in the back and came around opening the door for her. She took a minute to soak in his appearance standing there in a navy sweater and blue jeans, his hair was now slightly grown out from the buzz cut, he looked rather handsome.

'Like what you see?' Nathan teased Haley's obvious appraisal of him.

Haley gave him a shove as she sat into the passenger seat. 'I was just making sure it was you seen as you're never such a gentleman with me.' Haley teased cajoling herself on the inside for blatantly seizing him up like that. It's like he was getting more attractive looking with each passing day and that was just _so_ messed up.

Nathan scoffed. 'I'm the perfect gentleman Haley.'

Haley rolled her eyes but smiled, nevertheless. 'I missed this.' She said then as he pulled the car away and began driving.

'What? Me being right.'

'No us…I feel like I haven't seen you at all this past week.'

'I know it's a good thing we have this weekend right?'

'Are you sure you still want to come?'

Nathan sighed. 'Hales I was sure when you asked me Monday, Wednesday morning, when you rang me Thursday at lunchtime, last night and now.' He teased her.

'I did not ask you that much Nathan.'

'You did and besides I don't fancy spending the weekend in Tree Hill again especially with Lucas not being there. It would be weird.'

Haley nodded her head in understanding. 'It really is serious between them you know him going to Brooke's'

Nathan smiled. 'I'm happy for him he's being pining after her for years.'

'Is that you trying to be sweet?'

Nathan chuckled and she felt the hairs raise on her body from such a simple, familiar sound.

'So how were things with Jake since?' Haley asked then and she noticed the look of bewilderment on Nathan's face.

'Honestly he barely spoke to me today Hales, I don't know what's going on with him it's weird because I'd understand if you broke it off with him but he' the one that…' Nathan trailed off then not really understanding why his friend was so offbeat lately.

'I don't know maybe something else is going on.' Nathan reasoned. 'Jake's always been an open book you know he's not one to really deal with stuff alone.' He drummed his fingers against the wheel. 'Anyways we've got to figure out this weekend first.'

'What do you mean?' Haley said.

'Well what's going on with us?' He said as his blue eyes met hers then and they both found themselves looking away from each other rather quickly then, the double meaning behind Nathan's question not lost on either of them. Nathan cleared his throat then rather awkwardly …'I mean are we still together for your family or…'

'I didn't expect to have you here for thanksgiving so…'

'You were going to tell them this weekend...' Nathan said softly recalling that Haley had told him of her plan last month.

Haley nodded. 'I thought the news of me getting that job would make it a bit easier if mom heard we had actually broken up..'

'You know you're always thinking of your mum's feelings in all of this.'

'That is how this whole thing started..' Haley sighed as she blew out a breath.

'We could have like a really dramatic break up this weekend.'

'Careful now my dad does have a shotgun in the log cabin.' Haley joked as Nathan laughed.

'On second thought.' He mused as they both laughed at that.

'Look I'm here for your Hales, whatever you need but we both know the longer this goes on the harder it's going to be to stop.' Nathan reasoned softly then.

She knew his words were meant for her situation with her family but they resonated so much with their own current situation she wondered had he even realised how poignant his words were, Haley swallowed hard and almost jumped out of her seat when she felt his hand land against her thigh rubbing her softly in a soothing manner. But it did very little to calm her and she wished she could make everything she was feeling go away.

**XXXXX**

'Oh my goodness Lydia this looks wonderful.' Haley's aunt Bessie gushed or rather slurred as her mother and Haley carried out the plates of food from the kitchen. It was later in the evening now, Nathan and Haley had arrived around lunchtime and Haley had found herself in the kitchen since, not that she minded. It was the one time she actually truly bonded with Lydia as she was the one of her two sisters that enjoyed cooking.

Haley restrained herself from rolling her eyes as she noticed her aunt's wine glass. 'You ok?' Haley came up resting her hands over Nathan's shoulders rubbing them softly. He seemed tense.

'Can we swap places because I swear if your aunt cops a feel of my leg one more time I'm gonna be seriously disturbed.' Nathan mumbled under his breath to Haley. She couldn't help but giggle.

'I'm serious Haley this isn't funny. Where's David?'

'They're going through separation hence the drinking and the copping you a feel.' Haley teased.

'Funny.' Nathan deadpanned.

'Here this should do it.' Haley mused teasingly as she came around and sat on Nathan's lap giggling at the look of surprise on his face clearly that was the last thing he had been expecting. He held her by the waist then smiling at her, he adored when Haley got all spontaneous and playful. She had been extremely quiet in the car on the way and he figured she had been stewing over this weekend with her family. But now she seemed to have perked up which he was grateful for.

'So when are you two going to give Lydia some gorgeous grandchildren?' Her aunt said with a wink as she eyed the pair of them.

'Shouldn't you be asking Taylor that?' Haley said with a raised eyebrow. 'She did just get married.'

'Well she's not here yet is she darling, besides it would give you two some time to get started. You always were the over achiever.' Her aunt teased. Haley rolled her eyes, she really shouldn't be surprised, her family never did have a filter why start now? She felt Nathan's thumbs rubbing slow gentle circles into her waist rather soothingly and she had to bite back the moan from escaping her mouth. He hadn't touched her like that since that night in Tree Hill and she found herself missing being this close to him , as he leaned forward to whisper in her ear his extremely sexy aftershave assaulted her senses to the point where she found herself biting back another deep moan, god what was going on with her he'd being wearing that aftershave since he was 20 and now all of a sudden it was extremely sexy and manly and had her mind going straight into the gutter.

Haley felt the heat rush through her cheeks from his breath combined with his touches and she lept out of his lap refusing to even look back at him to see the curious look Nathan had on his face.

Nathan looked after Haley as she practically ran into the kitchen , he hadn't done much only tried to relax her a little he knew how tense she got being around everyone , had he overstepped some mark? He didn't think he had by doing that and she was the one being all playful sitting in his lap like that , they're family thought they were together after all. Sighing Nathan ran a hand through his short hair before he peeled himself away from the table walking into the kitchen where Haley was wafting away some smoke from the oven

'Everything alright?' Nathan said.

'Perfect.' Haley chirped all too fast.

Nathan just nodded.

She turned around from his puzzled gaze then. 'I just nearly burned the stuffing that's all.' Haley lied as she rolled the tin foil back from the in fact 'perfect' stuffing. Typical, she figured to herself. On instinct Nathan walked over to her and slipped his hand around her waist all too easily , Haley shoved the tin foil back on the stuffing roughly so he wouldn't see as she felt his hands encircle her waist. He practically groaned to himself as he inhaled her sweet evocative scent from their close proximity.

God he was so close to her, his stubbled cheek was scratching against her neck in the most enticing way as he breathed her in and she felt this warm flow sweep through her which she had been trying to fight off moments before. 'Nathan…' Haley tried to shrug him off her. 'I really need to do this' She mumbled emitting a breath of relief when he pulled back from her , _god what was going on with her?_

Nathan was really confused now, she was acting like she had been in the car earlier, cowering away from him. Her changing emotions were not only giving him whiplash but were very unusual for Haley, she was never really this strung out even when it came to being around her family. Haley turned around facing his rather sheepish face then and she smiled lightly at him, he really was only trying to make her feel better she knew that but what he was doing , grazing her neck like that and cuddling her….shouldn't he only be doing those things in front of her family ...didn't they only need to act like a couple in front of them? The Nathan and Haley from months ago never would have done that in the kitchen had no one being around.

'I know you're trying to help..sorry.' Haley said softly then.

Nathan just smiled at her despite not being able to shake the feeling there was more going on with her , he just hoped she'd open up to him later.

'So Nathan how are you enjoying your first thanksgiving away from home?' Haley's Uncle Tim asked.

'Well the food is incredible.' Nathan said as everyone hummed in agreement.

'You picked the right family to marry into for these kind of events..' Bessie nudged him on the arm.

'Bessie we are not engaged.' Haley said for the millionth time.

'Didn't Nathan propose when you were 9?' Lydia teased now having had a few wines as a few of her family members chuckled.

Haley flinched as she felt Nathan's hand land on her thigh rubbing softly against the skin not covered by her boots or her dress. She tried not to think too much about how it was making her feel. She tried not to think about her mother's words and how they seemed to be latching onto those feelings and how she felt like she was losing all control of herself.

'You know they had a pretend ceremony in the back garden' Lydia gushed 'our Quinn came running in screaming that Haley knocked Nathan's tooth out'

Some of her family including Nathan laughed at that. For some reason it bothered her how unaffected he seemed by all of this.

'Was it the fake ring?' Her uncle's partner Beth said to the pair across from her.

'No I tried to kiss her.' Nathan teased as he wrapped his arm over Haley's chair playing his part to utter perfection which months ago she would have praised him for, now she just wanted it all to _stop._

'I'll bet you have a completely different reaction now eh baby girl.' Her aunt goaded as they all looked at the two of them rather wistfully.

Haley dropped her fork to her plate trying to steel herself, she couldn't fall apart now. She tried to laugh alongside them but it was extremely forced. She was grateful when conversation swayed away from them to the topic of Christmas and she slid away out of her seat and from Nathan's prying gaze to get some fresh air. She didn't even offer to tidy up like she usually would.

Haley pulled back the sliding door out onto the wooden deck of their log cabin breathing in the crisp night air. She felt a slow tear escape from her tear duct and she wiped it harshly annoyed with herself for being such an emotional mess right now.

'Haley..' his voice was soft and full of concern and just latched onto the tremors of something so both warming and alarming that seemed to evade her every moment he was close by her.

'Are you crying?' Nathan said rather worried about her now, apparently letting it go and not talking about things earlier hadn't being the right thing to do. He should have pushed her to open up to him then. Something was wrong.

'No, no I'm fine…I'm fine.' Haley tried to convince him as she turned around , she was able to urge the rest of those tears to retreat back into her body for another time although she was pretty sure when they did eventually fall it was not going to a be a pretty image.

He hesitated then as he took a step closer to her and she could see the concern shining in his blue orbs.

'It's nothing.' She said meekly.

'It doesn't seem like nothing.' Nathan said softly.

'I just need some ...' She faltered then realising what she really wanted to say was she didn't want him here right now; she couldn't have him here right now it was impossible to organise her thoughts with him standing right across from her looking like that. Nathan's dark blue shirt was cuffed at the sleeves, his hair was beginning to grow out again just how she liked it and that damn aftershave was carrying in the cool breeze around them, her mind was incredibly fuzzy again.

'Come here.' Nathan prompted unaware to the inner turmoil Haley was feeling because of him. Within seconds he had her in his arms as he ran his hands down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

She had never wanted to hold on so tight and yet simultaneously let go in all her life, caught between the person she's known all her life; her best friend and the man she was with now, _how could everything just feel so intensely different?_

Haley pulled back then catching a glance at Nathan's eyes, the eyes of her best friend who just seemed so concerned. She'd seen that look from him many times before but now she was straining as though she was searching for more, for a sign or something in those eyes that his emotions were as turbulent as hers now and when she couldn't see it she realised she was in fact going crazy. The way she was reacting to him wasn't healthy, it wasn't right and it went against everything she ever known when it came to the two of them

Even as a teenager she'd never had to grapple with the fear of falling in love with him.

That thought alone had her feeling incredibly nauseous and she pulled away from him rather abruptly creating space between them.

He glanced at her trying to make sense of her actions; she was so hot and cold today. Haley closed her eyes expelling a deep breath as she leant against the porch glancing out at the back garden. She needed to get a handle on her emotions. She was being ridiculous. This was Nathan, her Nathan, the one person in the world she felt the most comfortable around. _It wasn't supposed to be like this._

'Haley we can tell them at any time, I'll go in there and do it right now..' Nathan began sensing this whole charade was really getting to her because she seemed as though she could combust at any given moment. She seemed both agitated and upset and he really didn't know which side of her he was going to get right now and where this was all coming from but it all seemed to start since they'd got down here.

'No…no …it's not…it's not that.' Haley rambled out as she ran her hand through her blonde locks.

'Then what is it?'

This was Nathan and when it came to her being upset he was completely unyielding.

'I just miss Quinn being around that's all.'

Nathan sighed as he slipped his hands into his pockets. 'Come on Hales don't shut me out.'

She shook her head as his words washed over her. Of course he'd see right through her lie. And he wouldn't budge until she told him the truth but she was pretty sure if she even voiced the rather peculiar thoughts going through her mind now about him he'd run for the hills.

'I'm not it's the truth.' The stubborn part of her fought back.

'Ok.' Nathan said quietly knowing when to push her and when to actually take a step back. 'How about I help your mom tidy up and then we can go down the lake or something, get out of the house for a while?'

'I kind of just want to be alone for a while.' Haley said quietly. He said nothing more and it wasn't until she felt him placing a gentle kiss on her head lingering there for a little longer than necessary did she realise that he was doing as she wished. She looked back after him feeling incredibly confused by the yearning within her to pull him back towards her and kiss him. Her hands gripped the wooden deck harshly as she tried to quash the urges inside of her.

**XXXXX**

Haley smiled to herself as she came into the room they were sharing spotting Nathan laid out on top of the covers, his grey sweatshirt all crumpled, his nose crinkled a little in his sleep and he actually looked adorable. Her need to be close to him completely consumed her and she found herself crawling onto the bed before she could even stop herself. Haley bit her lip softly as she watched him, on instinct gracing her knuckles against his stubbled cheek she could tell he hadn't shaven for at least two days which in some strange way was kind of a turn on, her smile widened further as he stirred out of his sleep.

Nathan opened his eyes noticing Haley smiling down at him, her blonde locks cascading over her shoulder. 'Hey you.' She said so attentively as she watched him for some reason it had his heart noticeably pounding in his chest. Nathan swallowed his all too dry throat as he mumbled back a sleepy hi to which she only smiled further at. This was all a little confusing, the way she was looking at him now was like she had missed him dearly and yet going off how she had been earlier on that day he had actually toyed with the idea of packing his bag and going.

Haley could tell Nathan was rather confused, not that she could blame him considering earlier. But she actually had time to clear her head on the drive to the airport. Even though things had never been very serious between her and Jake she figured them calling it off for good may have stirred up a sense of loneliness and longing in her despite him not being the guy for her and maybe that's why her emotions were all over the place all of a sudden around Nathan, it wouldn't be the strangest case of transference would it considering they were actually sleeping together? She kept telling herself that at least.

Haley knew it would pass and until then she'd just have to bury her emotions because she couldn't not have Nathan here, she needed him here. And she hated how it seemed like they were drifting from each other.

'How are you?' Nathan mumbled softly then breaking Haley from her pondering.

'I'm good.' She said as she laid out on her side facing him resting her elbow under her chin. 'Nathan about earlier…' She began quietly.

'Haley I know you didn't plan on me being here and you wanted to tell them about us…' Nathan began. He'd had plenty of time to think about the today and the only conclusion he came to, that made sense of Haley's actions was that she had planned to tell her family about them this weekend and she regretted continuing on with this charade.

'No I want you here.' Haley said resolutely as she met his eyes hoping her resolve would show. 'I'm glad you're here actually.' She said softly as she met his hesitant smile then. 'I was just feeling a little overwhelmed with it all, I promise I'm ok.'

She watched as his eyes searched hers for a moment and expelled a soft breath when he didn't question her any further.

'So how was hurricane Taylor?' Nathan mumbled sleepily.

'A bitch as always.' Haley teased and they both laughed at that. 'She spoke about her honeymoon on the whole car journey back at least it will take the attention of us again..'

'Unless we're going to any shows and you want to get up on stage.' Nathan teased.

Haley just whacked him in the side playfully.

'What you were crazy that night Hales.'

'I was not crazy.'

'You were I still can't believe you kissed me.'

Her mouth dropped open at his blatant teasing, she felt her cheeks flame up just from thinking back on that moment and how hot and heavy that kiss had been. 'I can't believe you're bringing that up.'

Nathan chuckled at the blush covering her cheeks and decided to spare her more embarrassment. 'At least we can laugh about it now right?' He smiled.

Haley smiled back at him as their banter suddenly abated, a rather unfamiliar calmness surrounded them. It didn't feel like the usual comfortable silence they sat in when Haley was making the dinner and Nathan was working away at the counter or when she was reading on the couch and he was sitting next to her.

No, this silence felt weighted, she felt like she couldn't catch a breath of air and was suddenly very aware of his hot breath mingling in with hers. Had he moved closer or was she imagining things now too? Nathan swallowed hard as Haley's curious brown eyes met his and he wondered could she feel the swift change in the air around them, so strong it was pulling him in towards her. He shifted closer rather hesitantly trying to gauge her reaction, she had to be feeling it too because for him this pull was incredibly strong and he was completely defenceless amidst its power. He shifted in closer grateful when she didn't pull back, for some reason he felt the nerves flutter in his tummy as though he was about to kiss a girl for the first time and even back then when he was 12 he hadn't been this nervous. He had been cocky and confident, for some reason right now he felt rather squirmy, _what the hell was going on with him?_

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she watched Nathan shift closer to her, his breath fanning out across her mouth now teasing her, he seemed to be looking at her so curiously and his slow movements were killing her, it was desperate how badly she wanted him to kiss her and if he wasn't going to do it she knew she'd have to herself. She whimpered rather embarrassingly when his hand grazed her arm softly.

Her whimper did it for him, god he loved that sound from her, he loved that it was him that evoked that reaction from her. He shifted towards her on the bed again finally claiming her lips as his hand came up holding the back of her head, the kiss was slow, soft and gentle and everything she hadn't expected. Nathan didn't seem to push for more as he kissed her so delicately without tongue.

Haley had never experienced a kiss like it and especially not with her best friend, as pleasurable as it was tasting him, she felt this kiss right inside of her soul; it carried all the intimacy and affection of their friendship and yet it didn't feel wrong because of that. Nathan pulled back then grasping for air as he sent her a small smile barely catching a breath before he leaned in again, she heard him moan softly as her hands came home scraping at the nape of his neck. Their kisses quickened and yet he wasn't making any other move which she found rather strange, sure they were in her parent's place but it was after 10 at night and everyone had retired to bed for the evening, why wasn't he initiating anymore? They only kissed like this when sex was involved.

Haley felt Nathan pull back from her again and she frowned as he got up from the bed. 'Where are you going?'

'Wait here I'll be back in a few minutes.'

He was grinning at her obvious bewilderment as he left the room, Haley sighed as she lay back down on the bed feeling her lips tingling from where he'd kissed her.

Haley wasn't sure how long it had been before Nathan came back in the room, she'd changed into her strappy pyjama top and shorts and had Nathan's cosy navy sweatshirt thrown over her.

Nathan smiled as he took in her appearance. 'How many jumpers did you bring beautiful and you find yourself in mine.' He teased.

She didn't even care to respond with her usual snippy comeback because what he had just called her and the casual way he said it was replaying in her head over and over again, her insides felt like velvet; soft and warm. He never called her that, maybe he had said it once during sex when they'd both being caught up in the moment but not now, not like this when she was wearing his sweatshirt; something she had been doing for years. Actually stealing his sweatshirts was something that used to piss him off greatly as a teenager.

'Eh Hales…' Nathan cajoled her wondering why she was looking at him like she was about to solve some great mystery.

'What did you…..I mean what were you doing?' Haley said fumbling with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Now was so not the time to be fixating on what he had just said when clearly he hadn't even noticed his mistake…..if that's what it was.

'Come here and I'll show you.' Nathan said. 'Oh and by the way I want my sweatshirt back.' He goaded.

Haley smiled remembering what he had been teasing her about in the first place. 'You know your ones are always warmer than mine.' She said as Nathan stood letting her out the door first guiding her into their sitting room area.

Haley gasped as she came into their cosy living room, Nathan had the logs burning on the fire, the couch was covered in her oversized tartan throw with all the cushions throwing over it and from what she could tell a Christmas movie was paused on the telly. On the small table in front of the fire was some popcorn with Maltesers mixed in just how she liked it. 'You did this…' Haley said in awe of the little set up. It's not like he didn't pull spontaneous surprises like this on her growing up but right now it was everything she needed and more.

Nathan smiled, her reaction to this cementing what he had assumed would be what she really needed tonight.

'If we're going to spend thanksgiving together we might as well make the most of it.' Nathan said smiling at the childlike admiration on her face. 'Well don't make it look like I've never done anything nice for you.' He teased her then.

Haley just cuddled herself into his side then. 'I really needed this tonight.' She mumbled rather vulnerably.

The raw emotion in her voice seemed to cling onto something inside of him as he left a gentle kiss on her head. She glanced up at him, the adoration specking in her brown eyes and he felt himself being pulled again, somehow this time he was stronger than the emotions that threatened to overtake him. 'Come on let's watch the movie.' Nathan insisted trying to break the fog that was clouding over his mind, the last thing he wanted to do was ruin a perfectly nice night with his best friend by acting all weird.

Haley grinned as she bounced over to the comfy loveseat grabbing the bowl of popcorn immediately munching on it, Nathan smiled at her as he joined her on the love seat and pressed play on the movie. Haley glanced across at him wondering if she should before deciding she wasn't even going to ponder those questioning thoughts any further, it's not like she was doing anything wrong by simply sitting close to him, it's not like that went against the rules of friendship. So she wanted to be near him. She shuffled closer cuddling into his side again as she placed the popcorn in front of her. Nathan smiled to himself as he felt her snuggle in beside him as he rested his arm around her.

They were well over an hour into the movie by the time Haley had dozed off beside him not that it was no surprise, she rarely ever lasted through the whole film. When he was younger he used to wake her up every time that happened enjoying how she'd run off crying out of the room. Luckily for her he wasn't' so mean anymore, Nathan smirked at that as he stared down, her head now resting on his lap. He practically had to dig his hands into the couch to stop himself from reaching out and rubbing what he knew was such delicately, soft skin but he didn't want to wake her. Besides he wasn't fully sure Haley would appreciate him waking her for that or if it would freak her out.

He really felt like he was trying to keep his balance on extremely uneven ground around her lately. He knew he had confused earlier by just kissing her and not pushing for more but it just felt right, how could that be when by the laws of their friendship that move was so wrong?

He couldn't admit to himself that sleeping together wasn't as clear-cut as he had initially thought it could be because clearly the boundaries were becoming obscured, he wondered could Haley feel it.

There was no way he could admit that because to do so would break his promise to her and that was just inconceivable.

Nathan sighed his full attention being diverted from the movie as his current situation with Haley plagued his mind. He smiled then as it dawned on him, he knew exactly what they needed tomorrow. A good old school day out as best friends and nothing more. A gentle reminder of what they had always been and still were. Nathan rested his head back rather pleased with himself as he thought about what exactly they could do.

Just as he felt himself dozing of he heard low steps trudging into the room. Nathan stirred gently not to wake Haley unable to hide the surprise on his face.

'Well not all us old folk go to bed at ten o clock.' Her dad grumbled as he acknowledged the pair with a smirk. He seemed to be worn out as he dropped down to the chair beside the couch. 'You two knuckleheads still up watching movies through the night.'

'And Haley is still falling asleep halfway through the first film.'

Jimmy chuckled. 'I remember ye use to sneak down when you thought everyone was asleep, 12.30 like clockwork.' Her father mused.

'You knew about that?' Nathan said shaking his head at him.

'Course I did, I just never bothered I mean Haley just falls asleep anyway.'

Nathan smirked knowingly as a comfortable silence fell between them. Jimmy rested back against the single armchair beside Nathan. 'She was worried about you know.' He said as he glanced at Nathan noticing he looked away from her father's perusal. Nathan didn't say anything.

'I wish she wouldn't worry so much.'

'She takes after her mom that way.' Jimmy said quietly. 'You're the same with her you know, Karen… god she used to say if you worried half as much about school as you did about Haley…' Jimmy smirked at the memory.

Nathan felt his heart tighten, the pain twisting in his veins in the same way it always did at the mention of his mother.

'It's ok to move on with your life kiddo, it doesn't mean you miss her any less but that level of pain you're carrying around …it's not healthy.' Jimmy reasoned.

Nathan swallowed hard at his words, Haley was so like her father in many ways, the way he spoke to him now echoed the many times she tried to comfort him. He found himself wanting to lean into it but simultaneously pull himself away from the entire conversation. 'I am trying.' Nathan mumbled quietly then, maybe he could lean in a little.

Jimmy nodded knowingly. 'That shit about it getting easier, it doesn't. But you can learn to manage it better. And no going to the grave won't always be your saving grace, those poetic pledges about visiting and letting go there it's not always the case. '

'Sound likes you're talking from a lot of experience.' Nathan said appreciating Jimmy's honesty.

He shrugged then. 'Haley never knew her grandfather, my dad. I lost him when I was 21.' He said. 'Haley is always telling me to go to that damn grave and she didn't even know him.' Jimmy said with a fond smile on his face.

Nathan smiled at that. 'I know she was disappointed when I didn't go last time but she didn't say it.'

'Don't get me wrong it can help but it's not the only answer. You can work on healing yourself first and then go there; Haley does love her poetry though.' Jimmy mused then.

'You know she carried that picture of you and Karen around like a zombie for days after it happened. You were in that grey hoodie you never took off.' Jimmy scolded him lightening the conversation a little before he spoke again. 'She threw it against her wall one day in pure anguish she was absolutely broken for you I'll never forget it.'

Nathan felt his heart constrict at his words as he stared down at her sleeping peacefully on him. Those days after Karen's death were such a blur to him he couldn't even recall the anguish on her face and it made him feel even worse, how much she had been hurting for him and he hadn't even realised it.

He wanted to ask Jimmy why he was bringing all this up now but the words couldn't seem to form coherently in his brain, he was suddenly very aware of Haley lying on him and how much he needed her. And he didn't exactly know what that thought entailed, he was just so completely overcome with yearning for her and deeply confused by where that was coming from.

'You know I think it was then I realised her feelings ran much deeper for you, to watch her heart literally break like that when you lost your mom.'

'mom and Haley were really close..' Nathan choked out, talking about his mom was always a sensitive subject but coupled with Haley right now….he felt like he was losing all locus of control. He needed to reign it in.

'I know son.' Jimmy said catching onto the slight unease in Nathan's tone. 'You know she would be happy for you, your mom, she would be happy for both of you.' He said fondly as he pulled himself up from the couch deciding that was enough heavy conversation for one night.

'Now don't stay up all night like you used to.' He teased lightly as he gave Nathan a pat on the shoulder and walked away.

Nathan felt the toil of that conversation completely consume him and yet the one emotion coursing through his veins that seemed to quench everything else was this unrelenting need for her, it was growing in strength with each passing second and relinquishing every thought in his mind that tried to battle with the fact that he had to distance himself from her and just go to sleep. But he physically couldn't. Her dad's words seemed to cling onto the yearning inside of him. As though he had no control over himself Nathan began to run his hand softly down Haley's arm relishing in the touch of her soft skin. He shifted himself on the couch then as he turned off the telly and picked her up bridal style carrying her into the room they shared as he pulled back the covers on the bed. Haley mumbled incoherently as she semi came out of her sleep as Nathan slipped in beside her, he could literally feel the solace seep through his bones as his body came into contact with her, a subtle relief from the pungent yearning that had been burning within him.

He leaned into her then kissing her neck softly before he pulled at his sweatshirt lifting it up over her tummy where he left a series of delicate kisses against her abdomen.

Haley moaned rather confused as she came out of her sleepy haze feeling Nathan's hand gripping onto her hips in a rather vice like way as his mouth sucked and kissed her stomach. 'Nathan…' She choked out already feeling her body begin to respond to this actions and yet while they had never really called off this deal they had going on she was still confused by his actions. They seemed so desperate and abrupt.

He could sense the confusion in her voice despite her breathy moans but he didn't pause his actions, he couldn.t' He couldn't stop and he sure as hell couldn't explain himself. He groaned as he ran his hands further under his sweatshirt on her to find her naked breasts beneath it, bunching it up further he swirled his tongue along her nipple before sucking down on it as Haley arched her back off the bed from the erotic feelings he was evoking in her. She gasped as his other hand came up twirling her other nipple between his fingers. 'Fuck…' Haley breathed out at his actions. 'Nathan…' She moaned as an addictive painful pleasure simmered inside of her.

Lifting her arms up as he threw is sweatshirt off her she felt a shiver go down her spine at the intensity of his gaze. Nathan pulled off his t-shirt then before leaning into her both simultaneously moaning as their bare chests touch and they fell back down onto the bed. His hands were everywhere, unlike the last time, his touches were fraught and rugged as though she could escape him. But they had her burning up inside for him; to feel him pounding into her. 'God Nathan…' Haley whimpered as his calloused hands seared every part of her he touched. He met her lips then in a passionate kiss groaning as she unexpectedly turned them around so she was on top of him. Pulling away from him Haley left a series of soft, wet kisses down the planes of his chest before teasing her tongue against his lower abdomen relishing in the way he shivered beneath her. Her delicate hands went to his jeans then lifting her hips as Nathan tugged them now, their movements slowing considerably as Haley hovered over him.

He could practically feel her wet heat surrounding his cock but she wasn't sitting down fully and god he needed her too or he wouldn't be able to control himself pounding into her. Nathan let out a shaky breath as his eyes met Haley's. She was looking at him differently. That look, it shook something deep inside of him. 'Haley…please.' He choked out not caring how desperate that sounded, he needed her so bad, in very single way. Couldn't she get that?

Haley couldn't believe right in the middle of all this she had found her mind wondering again, looking at him so differently but she couldn't help it as she looked into those familiar blue eyes of her best friend and saw a man that in many ways was not familiar at all. Everything felt strangely displaced and yet she felt completely anchored all the same, how could that be? She whimpered slightly then as she let Nathan push up against her, not even realising she had been unfairly teasing him she sunk down onto his throbbing cock moaning all too loudly as his length filled her so wholesomely from this position. She couldn't help but groan out his name.

'Fuck…Jesus Haley.' Nathan gasped in response to the lustful way his name had fallen from her lips as she began to rock herself up and down on his cock. He knew he wasn't going to last at all tonight with the image of her on top of him like this. This felt phenomenal. It's like she was pushing herself down so hard so he'd fill her right to the hilt. She was moaning heavily now and Nathan shifting himself slightly so he was sitting up on the bed still keeping their slow, passionate rhythm.

'Shh baby…we don't want them to hear us.' He said huskily in Haley's ear as his hands gripped her waist guiding her movements a little quicker on him knowing he really didn't have long.

Haley bit her lip, fuck she hadn't even realised and she'd probably die from embarrassment in the morning at the mere thought of them being heard but as always she was so caught up in the moment, too much to even care. She moved her mouth onto Nathan's neck sucking there gently to stop the loud moans from escaping her mouth which was proving extremely difficult as she felt his hand reach down between them stroking her clit off at a ferocious pace. 'Oh god….' She mumbled against the slick skin of his neck as she felt herself pushing into his hand all the while his cock continued to thrust into her. The sensations coupled with the new wave of intensity and closeness she felt to him in this position had her whole body blazing with the sheer intensity of her climax. Haley clung to Nathan as the immense pleasure overwhelmed her groaning as the warmth from his load filled her completely, her name falling from his lips so endearingly.

She felt his hands comes up rubbing her back soothingly as their ragged breathing filled the air around them. Seconds later Nathan shifted back, his arms still around Haley as he brought her back lying on the bed with him. Haley pulled off him then resting into his side her breathing still coming out in deep, shallow breaths.

She glanced up at him then catching his rather timid smile which she found wholly adorable considering what had just transpired between them. Haley reached up leaving a lingering kiss on his check before she pulled back and snuggled into his side. She felt herself being pulled into a heavy sleep when he spoke again. 'Haley…' Nathan spoke out into the darkness of the room.

'Hmm…' She mumbled contentedly against him.

'I wish I could have been there for you…' Nathan said softly not really understanding where these words were coming from but powerless to stop them from spilling out. 'When mom died I should have been there for you like you were for me.'

'Where's this coming from?' Haley whispered softly as she gazed up at him not being able to read his face as their room was shrouded in darkness.

Nathan shrugged beneath her. 'I never want to be selfish with you.'

She didn't really understand and was equally surprised by how he was bringing this particular conversation up. She smiled softly against him grateful he felt he could bring it up in some way with her even if she didn't necessarily agree with what he was saying. 'You could never be selfish with me.' Haley whispered as she cuddled into him hoping somehow it would ease all this anguish he seemed to be holding onto.

If only she knew….Nathan's mind taunted him but the past was the past and he'd burned that bridge a long time ago.

**XXXXX**

'Nathan this is not a race slow it down.' Haley rebuked beginning to feel the strain in her upper arms.

She caught the knowing smirk on his face and she rolled her eyes. 'You're doing this on purpose.' She pouted. 'This is for all them times you tell me I should be using that silly gym in our complex.' She mused.

Nathan chuckled at her dramatics. 'I'm not doing it on purpose I can't help it.'

'Well this is supposed to be a nice and relaxing activity. Don't you remember?' Haley teased catching is gaze, Nathan smiled at her, of course he remembered, they used to do this every summer when they broke up from school when they were kids.

'How could I forget you moaned and whinged the whole time then aswell?' Nathan goaded her.

Haley riveted the paddle roughly then attempting to splash him. 'I'm not whinging a moaning; you're forgetting the size of my arms compared to your muscly ones…'

That annoying smirk was on his face then. 'Oh so you noticed my arms then?' He teased her.

It was a little over the line of platonic teasing for them and for some reason it caused her cheeks to flush which made her even more embarrassed. God dammit why was she acting like a young schoolgirl? The thought of his lean taut arms as he hovered over her in the bed last night came into her mind and she desperately just wanted to throw herself into the lake to cool down.

Nathan could see the light flush tint Haley's cheeks and for some reason he rather liked it, enjoyed that she was affected by what he had said somewhat because her reaction had affected him but he really didn't wish to ponder on why that was so especially given his reason for coming out here with her. This day was for them as friends and nothing more. They hadn't had a day like this together in ages and he really couldn't cope with it feeling any different to the many days they had spent in this way when they were younger.

Deciding he needed to swiftly move along from his teasing Nathan finally rested his paddle down as Haley followed his lead. 'This place is amazing.' He commented as he took in the expansive lake around them surrounded by towering forest tree that steeped high into the foggy sky, there was something so sheltering about being out here like this. Nathan felt a sense of calm he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Haley smiled at her best friend, the placidity within him now taking her right back to the young boy she had always known. It warmed her heart.

'what are you smiling at you goof?' He teased her because of that silly beaming grim on her face.

'You.' Haley said easily. 'You just seem happy that's all.'

'I am.' Nathan shrugged as though it really wasn't a big deal. 'Being here with you it's like those summers in Tree Hill.'

Haley smiled fondly. 'Yea.' She pondered quietly as a comfortable silence fell between them.

'Do you ever wish you could go back?' The words were out of her mouth before she even realised it and she grimaced knowing that question was the last thing she should have been asking.

'Sometimes for obvious reasons.' Nathan answered honestly which surprised Haley. 'Do you?' He found himself asking.

Haley shrugged unsure if she should say it before realising Nathan was the only person she could ever voice the often-complex thoughts in her mind and he never judged her for that. 'Sometimes I feel this longing I don't know if it's to go back but it's like I'm missing something or someone I don't know…that doesn't even make any sense.' Haley rambled as she tore her gaze away from the lake back to him.

'You know I already know you're crazy.' Nathan teased her lightly as she playfully rolled her eyes. 'You know how you were telling me that I should be playing basketball again?' He said to her then with a knowing look in his eye.

'Yea…' Haley said unsure of where he was going with this.

'Well I think it's the same for you with your music Hales, I haven't seen you play guitar since we were in high school you used to love it.'

Haley sighed knowingly. 'It just happened that way I never intentionally stopped.'

'I know that.' Nathan said softly. 'But I also think that it might help you find some of the answer you're looking for or at least make sense of it all.' He said earnestly.

Haley just smiled at him feeling a calmness wash over her, for some reason she couldn't peel her gaze away from his baby blues, she felt herself being pulled into hi affectionate gaze and suddenly her lips felt far too dry.

Nathan swallowed hard as Haley's tongue's subtly sneaked out moistening her lips which were now glistening in, he let out a shaky breath then as he the desire to taste her surged within him. The thought in itself caused his body to shudder and he dropped the paddle down onto the boat rather harshly breaking them boat from the static pull between them.

Haley felt the air around her clear almost as Nathan quickly grabbed onto the paddle saving it from tumbling right into the lake, she looked at him rather cautiously then wondering had he felt what had just happened or was it all in her head?

He began to peddle again rather forcefully and she heard him a mumble something along the lines of them getting back before it got dark out so she padded alongside him neither really knowing what to say.

'Oh thank god…' Taylor let out as she ran over to where they were setting out of the kayaking boat.

Nathan glanced up surprised by the interruption and when he saw her there all raggedy looking and eyes clearly desperately holding onto tears he felt his heart stop in his chest. Suddenly he got a very bad feeling. 'What is it?'

'It's dad…he….he had a heart attack.'


	14. Chapter 14

**Back with an update - enjoy :) **

**And thank you for all your kind words on my last update! **

**Chapter 14 **

Cautious whispers, silent sobs, monotonous ringing of telephones. All of it pretty much summed up their time spent waiting. Just waiting. Nathan sighed as he glanced across at Taylor sleeping on Owen's shoulder and Lydia the other side of him. She wasn't asleep but she wasn't really awake either.

Another creeping wave of nausea washed over him and he pulled his heavy body up from the plastic chair. He felt like he could hurl. He hated this place and he knew it's not like it was anyone's favourite place to be but he could barely cope with the anxiety it made him feel. He knew he had too though, he would for Haley. _Only for her._

Nathan walked out pressing the button for accident and emergency where Haley was standing outside leaning back against the wall just staring into thin air. It hurt something deep inside of him, 'Hales…' He said softly as he came up to her. She barely registered him.

'How about we go back inside everyone is resting now they won't bother..'

'I don't want to.' She mumbled unemotionally as she stared off into the distance.

'It's cold out here Haley….please for m..'

'I said I don't want to.' She repeated, her determination showing signs of weakness as her voice cracked.

'Haley….' Nathan began sadly and she turned away from him them but he latched onto her.

'No, no…' She mumbled out in unintelligible cries.

'Hales….' Nathan began sadly still holding onto her and within seconds she gave in as she crumbled in his arms sobbing into his sweatshirt.

'I can't lose him…I can't.' She cried out against him, her breaths escaping raggedly between her heavy sobs.

'You're not going to.' Nathan said holding on to her so tight.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there clinging to each other but it was a long time, Haley was crying herself to the point of exhaustion, as more tears came the weaker she became to their attack. 'It's going to be ok.' Nathan whispered against her as his hands continued to run soothingly down her back and through her hair.

'You don't know that.' Haley said brokenly feeling Nathan pull back from her slightly. She could barely make him out through clouded vision, feeling his strong hands on her shoulders steadying her. She just wanted to fall, collapse into him and make it stop.

Nathan tried so hard to hide the anguish on his face but he was fighting a losing battle, seeing her like this was absolute torture for him. Despite steadying her he felt Haley falling into him again and he held onto her as guided them back inside, Haley no longer protesting in the slightest.

'Any changes?' Nathan said softly as he sat down across from Lydia his eyes carefully watching Haley as she slid into the plastic chair beside him.

Lydia shook her head signalling no. 'He's still in surgery.' She said weakly. Nathan took hold of Haley's hand then encasing it in his much larger one as he ran his thumb in soothing circles against her palm.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, the time they had come here until now all seemed insignificant, the day in itself blurred into the night, it was as though they were held captive to the unknown, waiting for the outcome and everything else just didn't matter. It was a little over a while ago that Nathan felt Haley's head fall on his shoulder but he knew she couldn't sleep, her constant fidgeting against him told him that. Lydia looked shook as she sat across from them resting her head on her palm, she seemed to be drifting in and out of reality, every so often a nurse would come and she'd bolt awake in hope or dread….he wasn't really sure.

And Nathan just watched it all feeling his heart ache for the girl on his shoulder. He couldn't help but feel angry, how was it that Haley had to endure this after everything she'd endured by his side when he lost a parent? It was just unfathomable. And yet she was the strongest person he knew but he worried she wasn't strong enough for this. As such upsetting thoughts swarmed his mind Nathan held her hand that little bit tighter hoping in some way he could give her some of his strength, he leant down as he did so leaving a gentle kiss on her head feeling her on instinct huddle in closer to him.

'Excuse me…Mrs James.' A friendly looking male doctor with dark hair approached them as Lydia arose from her seat, 'I'm doctor Copeland, your husbands surgeon…' Nathan felt Haley pull away from him , the loss immediate and she jumped up beside her mum as the doctor led them through the door to the emergency ward.

Over half an hour later Lydia came through the emergency room doors but even seeing her and the look of relief on her face did little to settle his unease without Haley around.

'What's happening mum is he going to be ok?' A now awoken Taylor asked her as Lydia came towards them.

'He had a blocked artery; they've operated but he is unstable he has to be kept in the coronary care unit for a few days.'

'What does that mean…will he wake up?' Taylor panicked.

'We hope so honey.' Lydia said soothingly.

'I want to see him.' Taylor said as she walked towards the doors her mum came out from.

'Nathan..' Lydia called. 'Come with us, she's looking for you.' She smiled knowingly at him.

**XXXXX**

2 days had passed since Haley's dad went into hospital. 2 long, distressing days. Nathan was supposed to be back in work yesterday but had waited on although he knew he wouldn't be able to take any more days after tomorrow. He just couldn't.

It was looking like Haley and her family were going to be staying put in New Jersey for a little while. He felt rather aggrieved about having to leave her especially like this.

She'd cried a lot the last 24 hours but she'd come to him, she leaned on him that was until this morning when Nathan had actually agreed with Lydia that Haley needed to go home for tonight and just spend some time away from the hospital.

And that's what they were doing now, a painfully silent drive back to their log cabin. He knew she was muffled by the fact he had sided with Lydia on this one but that wasn't the real reason Haley was angry, he knew she was just beginning to feel the effects of that anger he felt when this all happened; the anger that was born out of the injustice of this entire situation.

Nathan slowly drove up the gravel driveway cutting the engine as he glanced over at Haley, she was staring straight ahead but she biting her lip and he knew she was anxious about being back here since….everything.

Sighing softly to himself Nathan hopped out going towards the front to open the door, he could feel Haley's footsteps lagging behind him. 'How about you take a nice hot shower and I'll put the fire on.' Nathan said softly then.

Haley didn't say anything as she stepped inside the house. Sighing Nathan realised he might not actually get anything out of her tonight but at least she was here and she would be warm and rested. Just before Haley reached their room she paused and turned around. 'You know what Nathan…..I expected you to understand, you didn't want to leave either you remember that?' She said sadly.

He felt his heart pound at her words. His automatic reaction when anyone brought that night up was to deflect, shut down with anger or better yet abscond from the situation. But he knew he had to bury that reaction now for Haley's sake. He couldn't be weak. 'Haley…' Nathan hesitated. 'That was different….mum she died there.'

'And you remember what that did to you? Not being there…' She choked out, her eyes pooling with tears again.

'Haley…' Nathan had to stop her; he couldn't hear this.

'You know what it feels like…you know Nathan.' Haley said as the tears escaped her eyes then.

'Haley he's not going to die.'

'You don't know that.' She cried out; her face full of anguish.

Nathan took a step towards her but she stood back creating more distance between them.

'No…' She shook her head brokenly. 'If he doesn't wake up and I'm not there….' She crumbled almost before pushing into the bedroom closing the door shut behind her.

Haley tossed and turned her bed profusely; she'd been in the room since they'd gotten back earlier having locked the door and not come out once. Nathan had called her for food some time ago, it could have been two hours she really didn't know, she hadn't looked at the clock nor did she even know what day it was at this stage. She'd being feeling so numb the past few days ever since her entire world as she knew it had come crashing down around her in the worst way imaginable and now that numbness just gave way to a crushing combination of anger and sorrow. She was also feeling absolutely horrible for how she had been with Nathan, he had been everything to her these past 48 hours and she'd just thrown it all back in his face in the worst way imaginable.

The warmth swirled in her belly at just the mere thought of him and she felt slightly vulnerable by how much she craved him to be close to her, as though this situation with her father had only exposed her need for him. But she was too exhausted and worn out to even question it or to even care at this stage. She just needed him.

He was the only person that could make this go away and she realised he possibly could only ever be that person.

Haley pulled herself off of the bed padding towards the door opening it quietly as she tip-toed down the hall. The living room was shrouded in darkness and she felt her heart sink in her chest as a silver of glow from the fire he'd put on barely burned. The guilt pinched her for not even coming out here when Nathan had put the fire on.

She turned then glancing down the hall as she walked quietly towards the closed door opposite their room. Opening it up she grimaced as it creaked slightly, a showing sign of their quant surroundings. She could make out his form lying on his side in the double bed as she tip-toed over to him not wanting to wake him but aching to be near him all the same. Haley slipped beneath the covers cuddling up to Nathans back feeling the pain subside to a dull ache as his warmth surrounded her.

Nathan shifted coming out of his sleep, feeling Haley cuddled up against him he turned rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

'I didn't want to wake you I just…' Haley whispered softly unsure how to voice how much she needed him.

'It's ok…I'm glad you did.' Nathan mumbled his voice thick with sleep as he propped his head up under his arm while draping the other across Haley.

She smiled hesitantly at his actions coupled with how adorable he looked in that moment as her hands played with the hem of his grep t-shirt before she ran them up the planes of his chest almost moaning at how his skin seemed to burn under her touch. She heard his sharp intake of breath and brought her eyes up to find his looking into hers unsure of himself for that reaction. The fact her touch could do that to him alone had a swirling knot of anticipation in her tummy just waiting to be completely unravelled. Biting her lip softly Haley continued to rake her nails across the planes of his muscular chest as she leaned in kissing his neck so delicately.

Her wet lips barely brushed against his skin and yet his whole body shuddered as his chest scorched everywhere she touched. Her actions had his body just begging for more, completely surrendering to her. And despite feeling he was losing himself completely to her he called her name unsure if this really was the right thing to be doing right now.

Haley heard him calling her name rather apprehensively but she couldn't stop and from the low guttural groans emitting from him coupled with his hard cock pressing so achingly against her thigh she knew he wanted this as much as she did. 'I need you Nathan.' She whispered softly in his ear as she sucked on it before biting down emitting the sexiest grunt from him.

'Haley…I' Nathan tried but he was losing the battle between his rational mind and the place that Haley always brought him too so far removed from reality and everything in their lives. The place where it was only them, where the past and who they had been maintained no hold on them and where it all just seemed to make sense. With her like this.

'It's ok…' Haley said as she pulled away from him then, it was sweet how much he was trying to rationalise this situation, she knew he was worried about her but couldn't he feel it too? How right this was? It was the only thing amidst the chaos that was making sense right now.

Nathan watched as Haley pulled back looking at him so earnestly, the light shining in her once vacant brown eyes and he gave in like he did that very first night, he gave in completely to her as his lips met hers in a fervent kiss; mouths opened for each other, tongues colliding, tasting, sucking and relishing in each other's warmth and solace.

Pulling back Haley felt her heart thud even harder in her chest at the intense look on his face, she didn't know what came over her as she took hold of his hand and placed it to her beating heart. 'Feel this..' Haley said, her voice thick with emotion. His eyes lightened in awe and she watched as he visibly swallowed hard at her actions and it only had her heart pounding even harder knowing he could feel it.

'Hales…' Nathan choked out.

She waited watching him, confusion seemed to mark his features then as though he had spoken before he had even figured out what to say.

'Just kiss me…' Haley pleaded softly not even caring how desperate or even how unconventional that sounded given who Nathan was to her. None of that mattered now.

Nathan didn't waste another second as he leaned into her, his lips claiming hers ever so softly as the kiss quickly built in intensity, he groaned as Haley kissed him back so hotly as her legs intertwined with his, Nathan ran his hands up her thighs and under his t-shirt she was so sexily wearing and he moaned again into her mouth as he felt absolutely nothing underneath the shirt. He could feel Haley smirking against his lips at his realisation and he pulled back.

She felt the throbbing between her legs ache even more at his heated look now.

'Turn around.' Nathan ordered huskily.

She looked at him rather confused then, both of them panting heavily from their making out.

'Trust me..' Nathan said softly then as he caught the look of befuddlement on Haley's face.

He didn't need to say anything more as he watched her turn over so her back was facing him, he knew she didn't want to turn away from him. He felt his cock grow even more painfully hard, not thinking that was possible just from the thought of taking her from behind in this way. He'd actually never had sex in this position before, it had just never being something he wanted to do until Haley. He shuffled closer to her then slowly lifting the t-shirt up exposing her creamy back to him. He felt Haley shiver as he began to place a series of intimate kisses right down her spine until he reached the small of her back leaving a gentle kiss over the little butterfly tattoo smiling at the memory that image represented. Haley smiled as she felt his lips linger on her tattoo, they'd got them together when they turned 16 and for some reason now that gesture felt more intimate than anything she'd ever experienced as it gave way to a flush of overwhelming feelings inside of her.

She barely had time to ponder that thought to heavily when she felt Nathan press himself up against her separating her legs with one of his own as he slowly began to push his hard member inside of her from behind.

'Oh god….Nathan…' Haley gasped aloud as she felt his cock penetrate her walls so slowly, how was it every time they joined together it seemed to fill her even more, god she could literally feel every part of him inside of her from this angle and he was hitting that sweet spot almost immediately as he thrusted into her causing her to gasp and cling onto the mattress at the side of the bed.

Nathan's moans merged with Haley's as he pushed himself inside her inviting, wet heat. 'Feels good doesn't it?' He whispered huskily in her ear as he pushed himself inside of her again keeping the slow, tortuous pace relishing as she pushed her body back onto his cock almost involuntarily every time.

'It feels so good.' Haley moaned hotly as she pushed back on his cock again. Nathan groaned in response to her words. 'God Haley you always feel good.' He let out between hot breaths that fanned out so deliciously across her slickened shoulder as he kept his steady, deep thrusts. His words coupled with his warm breath on her neck and his deep girthful thrusts had her reaching her climax all too quickly, her breathing had become incredibly staggered now, her gasps echoed throughout the room, her body rocking against his beyond her own control. 'Oh god….oh god…..Nathan…' She cried out as her whole body combusted from the tingling rapture that had building inside of her since they kissed.

Hearing her name fall from her lips like that so erotically had him thrusting inside of her once more before he surrendered himself completely to the feelings building within him, allowing them to completely consume him in the most pleasurable way possible, his breathing just as ragged as Haley's as he rested his sweaty forehead against her slick back. He couldn't understand it how every time they came together like this it was just feeling more amazing, it was just sex he tried to keep telling himself but somewhere along the way it felt like it was no longer about sex at all.

Nathan pulled out of her slowly entangling their legs and he smiled softly as Haley swiftly turned around and cuddled into his chest. He rested his chin on top of her small head his arms encircling her, holding her as he rubbed her back softly.

'Nate….' Haley whispered quietly from where she was resting against him.

Nathan frowned. All of a sudden that name just sounded so wrong coming from her like that, it just felt so far removed from where they were and _who_ they were.

'I didn't mean what I said, I know you're just trying to help. ' Haley continued quietly. She felt him squeeze her then and smiled softly knowing he understood completely, of course he did. He always did. 'I really don't want you to go.' She said softly.

'Hales those words are going to kill me.' Nathan choked out. Haley never did that, she never asked for help, she also tried to carry everything on her shoulders. The fact that she had even said that to him was huge. 'Maybe if I….'

'No I know you have to go; I just wish you didn't.'

'Me too.' Nathan mumbled back to her as he left a kiss on her head.

**XXXXX**

'Just tilt it a little lower will you?' Nathan gritted out as he held onto one side of the shelving unit. 'Lower Lucas not higher for god sake.'

Lucas went ridiculously lower with the shelving then pissed off with his brother's attitude which only earned an even harsher glare from Nathan 'Just let it down Nathan.'

'I'm trying to put the fucking thing up not let it down.'

'Let it down Nathan.' Lucas ordered then.

He may be only older than him by 4 months but Nathan knew that big brother voice that left very little room for retaliation, he rolled his eyes as he turned away from him knowing if Lucas seen that he'd just give out to him even more.

'Ok what the hell is your problem?' Lucas badgered him as they left the unit back down on the floor in Haley's bedroom.

'Nothing I should have just called a handyman seen as you've clearly no idea about this kind of work.'

Lucas just rolled his eyes. 'You're deflecting my question!'

Nathan scoffed. 'No I'm not.'

'Yes you are just like you do with Haley, you do it all the time.'

At the mere mention of Haley's name Nathan seemed to flare up. 'It's none of your business what I do with Haley.'

Lucas raised his eyebrows in interest, he'd obviously just hit the nail on the head without realising. So this was about Haley.

'It is when you're acting like such a jackass what's going on…did you two fight or something?'

'No we didn't fight Lucas; her father just had a blooming heart attack.' Nathan spat at him.

'Well then what is it…. ' Lucas pried. 'You're acting all weirded out anytime I bring her up, you're extremely jumpy and on edge….you're like….' It dawned on him then as he paused. It couldn't possibly be….he was pretty sure that even if he said it Nathan would pummel him to the ground at such a ridiculous notion but the way he was behaving…

'It's nothing just drop it Lucas I've enough to deal with right now.' Nathan said breaking Lucas from his pondering.

'I' not going to drop it, you've been acting like an ass all week…is this because your both lying to her family?'

Nathan sighed; Lucas was almost as relentless as Haley but he usually would concede in his battle much faster so Nathan knew he just had to get out of here until Lucas did so. Lucas watched his brother clench his jaw properly pissed off now as he left him standing there in Haley's room. He waited a few minutes sighing at the mess all over the floor before he followed Nathan into the kitchen where he was sipping on a beer at the counter. Wordlessly he pushed one over to Lucas.

'Haley is staying in Tree Hill until Christmas now.' Nathan said relatively calmly trying to keep his emotions in check.

Lucas nodded. 'Ok well that's understanding.'

'I know that…it's just.' He faltered then as he met his brother's awaiting eyes. He placed the beer bottle back down on the countertop wondering if he could even say it, if he did there was no going back, it would be like this thing that was happening between them would be somehow brought out from their imaginary realm into the real world, as though it becoming public knowledge even if that was only Lucas could give it more power somehow. But the silence in this apartment since he'd being here was slowly tormenting him, he was overthinking every little thing about them and this situation.

'You miss her…' Lucas supplied easily catching the torn look on Nathan's face then.

'We've been sleeping together..' Nathan blurted out as he leant his hands on the kitchen countertop bracing himself for the reaction, it didn't matter thought because next thing he felt an almighty slap across his face echoing harshly in their empty apartment. 'Oww…god damn Luke.' Nathan faced him, his eyes infuriated.

'You're an ass.' Lucas said overtly shaking his head at him.

'I know…I know ok.' Nathan got out, his anger quickly fading to remorse.

'You miss sleeping with her….don't tell me what this is about?' Lucas spat then, he couldn't quite believe this. This was the last thing he had expected. Sure he had an inkling there was feelings involved from the way his brother was behaving but sex…..Haley had lost her virginity to Nathan?

'No Luke this isn't…'

'I can't believe you Nate.' Lucas was going off on one now. 'I mean after the way you came down on me for doing the exact same thing with Brooke and now you're…..with Haley….she lost it to you didn't she?'

Nathan could only nod.

'Dammit Nathan…' Lucas said then. 'And what now you're pissed off cause you're not getting any…'

'It's not about the sex..' Nathan bellowed out tired of Luke's holier than thou attitude right now.

'Then what's it …..' Lucas paused then as it all stated to make sense. 'Holy shit.' He recovered after a few silent seconds.

Nathan looked at him like he'd just gained another head, and supposedly he was the one acting strange?

'You have…..oh my god.' Lucas said then as he eyed his brother carefully for his reaction. 'You have feelings for Haley….you like her.'

'Luke…' Nathan warned him. That statement was all kinds of dangerous, he didn't want to flesh that out or allow it into reality at all.

'Oh my god it all makes sense now.' Lucas said completely careless to Nathan's warning.

'What are you talking about?' Nathan couldn't help but ask.

'You…' Lucas said throwing his hands up at him. 'You're edgy, uptight, your place is a tip which is so unlike you and you're…..you're a mess Nathan.'

'Well thanks for such an enlightening chat Lucas.' Nathan spat then with an eye roll, how was his brother looking like the cat that just got the cream? Hadn't he being pissed off by all this a hot second ago. 'I'm not a mess.' The words sounded hollow even to his own ears, his whole life felt like it was in chaos these past few weeks and every week that passed he felt like he was slipping deeper.

'Are you in love with her?' Lucas said then.

He felt his body tremble a little at his words but he tried not to show it. 'Luke, Haley is my best friend.' Nathan warned him again.

'I know.' Lucas said unrelenting. 'And I asked are you in love with her?'

'Do you even hear what you're saying right now?' Nathan shot back rather defensively.

Lucas sighed, his brother was completely deflecting again but he caught that look in his eyes; amidst his anger was a flicker of fear there and that told him that there was at least a possibility he could well be in love with her and was very scared by that fact. Noticing how tense Nathan had become Lucas gave in, knowing it wouldn't be fair too push him on this when Nathan obviously hadn't figured it out himself. 'How did it start?' He said quietly then hoping his brother would open up to him at least a little.

Nathan let out a breath of relief realising Lucas wasn't prodding him an further on that ridiculous topic of conversation. 'When we were in Italy…' He said back hesitantly.

'Fuck its being going on that long…' Lucas let out.

Nathan nodded silently.

'But like has it just kept happening , have ye talked about it? I mean Nate she's got to be feeling confused…'

'We agreed to do it Luke, like a friends with benefits kind of thing..'

'Like me and Brooke?' He said with a raised eyebrow.

'The whole reason I was on your ass doing it with Brooke was because you loved her and you two should have been dating in college.'

'And now you're…'

'I'm not in love with Haley…' Nathan said almost too easily. He stared harshly at Lucas just daring him to retaliate with him on that.

When he didn't Nathan continued. 'People do this all the time Luke..'

Lucas scoffed at his words. 'But look at you…whether you admit it or not this is obviously affecting you Nathan and it has to be affecting Haley too.'

'I'm just I…' Nathan struggled with his words then, he struggled to voice his confusion as though it would give power to Lucas thoughts about them. 'We just need to end it now.'

'Are you sure that's the right thing to do?' Lucas pondered hesitantly.

'This is all my fault, I initiated this and I'll be damned if it messes us up, I'm going to fix it.' Nathan said resolutely before he pushed himself off the counter and out of the kitchen. Lucas feared for the two of them, he feared it was already too late to fix whatever had become so broken.

**XXXXX**

Haley continued to fluff up the blankets ignoring her father's usual disgruntlements. He was home in Tree Hill now, they'd all being here almost a week now. After 5 days in the coronary care unit in New Jersey her father was admitted to the general ward and then brought to Tree Hill hospital closer to home for a final week. The last 2 and a half weeks had been so emotionally draining but she'd been given hope. Her father had been given another chance and she knew that was the real reason she hadn't fled somewhere far away from this place like her instincts had told her too.

'Shouldn't you be at home with Nathan fussing over him like this?' Her dad grumbled albeit teasingly.

Her heart fluttered at the mere mention of his name as it always did recently. God she missed him more than was normal, it physically ached not having him around. 'Nathan wants me here daddy looking after you.' She scolded him lightly.

'I'm sure he'd also like you at home with him.'

'I am home daddy.' Haley replied easily.

'Hello Mr. James…' Peyton said with a smile as she bounced into their living room.

'Do me a favour and take my little girl out for the day I need a break from her fussing.'

Peyton just giggled; Jimmy said the same thing every day.

'Dad you just had a heart attack if I want to fuss over you you're going to let me fuss.' Haley reasoned and her dad looked at Peyton like the girl was crazy.

'My heart attack was 3 weeks ago honey.'

'And your recovery is going to take 3 times as long.' Haley fussed.

'You know what how about we go out for lunch?' Peyton said.

'That sounds wonderful, Karen does the best sausage sandwiches.'

'You're not meant to have any greasy foods, that's like the worst thing you can e….' Haley paused as her dad and Peyton snickered. 'Great how can you find this funny?'

'Oh honey if I don't laugh I'll cry.' Her dad goaded. 'Go and have a break will you before you give me another heart attack.'

Haley rolled her eyes before standing back up as Peyton linked her arms with hers. 'I promise to have her back by midnight My. James.' She teased.

'So a boozy lunch is what you were thinking?' Haley said with raised eyebrows as they slid onto the stools at one of the high tables around Tric.

Peyton smirked knowingly. 'Come on, you need a drink after these last few weeks and I most definitely need a drink.'

Haley caught the disappointment in her eyes despite her rather tough exterior. Two people in her lives were nursing broken hearts for completely different reasons, each very painful to watch. 'So it's really over?' She said softly.

Peyton nodded. 'For good Haley, I guess I got caught up in the romance of it all, new girl, new city emerging executive producer bats you an eye…' She shrugged.

'It was so much more than that.' Haley reasoned.

'I know.' Peyton said quietly. 'I think the hardest part is how right it feels to let him go.'

Haley reached for her hand then giving it a gentle squeeze. 'You're going to be ok, in fact you're going to be better.'

Peyton smiled at her. 'Ever think it's like meant to be that both of us are back here at the same time?'

'Absolutely.' Haley smiled.

'And it's just a bonus for me no Nathan around I get you all to myself.' Peyton joked before her teasing smirk dissipated and a silence fell between them. 'So did you tell him yet?'

'Peyton…' Haley warned slightly, she'd only being back 3 days and she'd immediately probed Haley about her benefitting situation with her best friend.

'Haley I'm not trying to say I told you so…I actually think it's kind of great if you did have feelings…'

'I don't….' Haley said cutting her off. 'Not in that way.' God it was pathetic that she couldn't even said the word 'feeling's or 'like' without her whole body anticipating something, of which she wasn't sure.

'but things have changed…' Peyton urged softly.

'I guess..' Haley relented knowing she couldn't lie about that. 'The sex has…' She shrugged.

Peyton nodded knowingly.

'I mean that's normal right that it would feel more intense…' She searched for the right word to explain their last few times together…'or intimate you know when you're going through some difficult stuff…'

'Yea Hales but when the whole point of this thing was no feelings involved…' Peyton reasoned softly.

'I know.' Haley said painfully. 'How stupid am I?'

'You're not stupid.' Peyton scolded her. 'What about Nathan?'

'Nathan promised me nothing would change and we could just knock this off the moment we wanted to and to be honest I think he still could…'

'But you couldn't…..' Peyton supplied knowingly just as the bartender left two rather menacing looking cocktails down at their table.

She felt the cocktail being pushed in front of her and she tried too hard to pull herself from the depths of her mind into the place around her, the place she grew up in, where her teenage years were spent with a charming boy, a head of wild raven hair, a boy who was childlike, impulsive and yet so doting.

She had watched him become a man, strikingly handsome, that same raggedly hair that looked unforgivingly sexy as he got older, he had matured so steadily, he could still be impulsive yet completely head-strong and god did she love him.

She was so desperately in love with him.

Had she not being gripping onto the table it would have floored her. Haley gulped her throat incredibly raw, Peyton's informal conversation with Chase filtered out in the distance around her and she was so attuned to her heart beating heavy in her chest. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to realise she was in love on a fresh day in March, kissing under the spring sunlight with her lover or maybe lying in bed watching him sleep. But not like this. Not sitting on a high stool in Tric drinking cocktails before 3pm realising at the tender age of 24 life just never was how she envisaged it to be, all them dreams; Stanford, falling in love on a spring day hell even teaching none of it was how her 19-year-old self-imagined, when she had the whole world had her tips.

Now she felt like she was sinking, she was in love with her best friend and she wondered if he could ever feel the same or was she the one holding the flame that would torch their friendship for good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi guys back with an update thanks for all the love on this story, I hope you've all had a lovely Christmas if you celebrate it. :) **

**Chapter 15 **

Lucas pulled the car up outside Haley's family home. 'Nate…' He expelled in a soft breath just waiting for his brother to snap at him. It had been a week since he'd told him what had being going on with Haley and Nathan's form only seemed to be getting worse, he was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

'Luke now's not really the time…' Nathan began, they'd travelled down from New York together and he hadn't said a word to him and now he was choosing to talk about this situation when they were parked outside Haley's house.

'No I know I was just going to say give it a few days with Haley, I know you want to end it but ending it won't make things go back to the way they were.'

'I've had weeks to think about it Lucas nothing has changed.'

Lucas just shook his head; his brother was so damn stubborn or else too scared to really admit what was going on. Something had changed, he could see it so clearly now. The two of them almost jumped out of their seats when they felt a thumping against the window on the driver's side. It was Haley.

Nathan couldn't help but smile at her scrunching her nose up at the pair of them sitting there. Not a second later Nathan had opened the door on his side as Haley ran around and practically jumped into his arms her legs wrapping around him, his whole body hummed contentedly as he held her tightly. 'God I've missed you so much.' He said breathing in the delicious magnolia scent of her shampoo.

Haley felt the tears prickling her eyes but she held them in as she felt his much larger frame envelop her smaller one, it felt so right here like this, she had yearned for this moment. As scared as she was of her feelings she couldn't deny the longing inside of her either. She breathed in his musky scent, so inherently Nathan and she felt so content in that moment.

Meanwhile Lucas watched the pair curiously, holding onto each other much longer than habitual for them, even the way Nathan's hand stroked through her hair as her legs gripped his waist. He wondered how he hadn't spotted the subtle changes before or was it so gradual that even they themselves were so oblivious to it. Lucas got out of the jeep then clearing his throat finally breaking the pair apart. Haley slid out of Nathan's embrace a little awkwardly as she looked back at Lucas, suddenly very aware that they weren't alone and she was forgetting their place in all of this. Best friends.

'Hey Luke.' She mustered up as casually as she could as she gave him a friendly hug.

'How's your dad?'

'He's good he's up and walking more now.'

'That's great Hales.'

'You coming in?' She motioned towards the house.

'I'm actually not staying but tell Jimmy I'll call over; I take it your coming to see The Honorary Title tonight?'

'Wouldn't miss it.' Haley smiled.

'I'll see you guys later.'

'Bye Luke.' Nathan said as he walked around casually taking Haley's hand as he walked up the front porch with her. They walked into the house together stepping into their small living room.

'Hi Mr. James.' Nathan said at Haley's dad who was sitting on the couch making a disgusted face at the carrots and hummus that had obviously being left for him.

'Nice to see you around here son although I was expecting you sooner to take her back with you.'

Haley just shook her head at him.

Nathan chuckled. 'I think I'd have to move my company here before Haley would come back. How are you doing?'

'Fine now that you're here I might have something decent to eat.'

'Dad you need more food like this, you can't just go back to how you were eating.' Haley said shaking her head at him not surprised, they'd been having this same squabble every day.

'Still a bacon sandwich would be nice…will have one Nate one of the days over the holidays.'

'Sure…' He began only pausing when he caught Haley's glare.

'There will be no bacon sandwiches in this house.'

'But Hales….' Nathan began to reason.

'No.' She chirped, no room for argument.

'I'm sure one would be fine…'

'See darling…' Jimmy said siding with Nathan

'Here have a carrot…' Haley said shoving one of the carrots into Nathan's mouth effectively shutting him up. 'Show dad how nice they are.' She said sending Nathan her best do as I say look.

Nathan pulled it out grimacing at her. 'Ugh…'

'See tastes just like bacon doesn't it…' Jimmy grumbled.

Nathan couldn't help but chuckle as he sat down beside Haley's father. 'So what game are we watching?'

She smiled despite herself watching the familiar scene in front of her not realising how much she needed it.

'Please don't tell me you've been like this since I left.' Nathan said as he walked out onto Haley's front porch. He'd stayed for over an hour watching the match with Jimmy and keeping him company while Haley left them to it. He had missed her though, missed being close to her and found himself questioning how needy he had gotten since they were apart.

'How else do you expect me to be Nathan? He's on a programme now he needs to follow it..'

'One bacon sandwich…'

'Do you hear yourself?' She scoffed. 'This is exactly why he wanted you here.'

Nathan smiled. 'I'm just thinking I'm sure he is finding it really tough right now and maybe a little bit of what he enjoys might be nice for him.'

Haley sighed softly. 'I know just….'

'You're worried.' He supplied for her as she nodded.

'I hate to break it you Haley but your dad has to begin to look after himself too it's not your job, you're not going to be here every minute to see if he's shoving those dry ass carrots into his mouth.'

'My carrots aren't dry.'

'I didn't appreciate it by the way you shoving that in my mouth.'

'Shut you up didn't it.' She teased him.

Nathan just crossed his eyes at her playfully as he walked over her watching Haley catch onto the glint in his eye. She went to duck underneath him but he boxed her in against the wall and began tickling her ribs. 'What did you say Hales?' He teased her playfully.

She was giggling uncontrollably now, her breathing staggering. 'Naathan…pl….ease…stop..'

'Say it…' He paused a little before he began his attack again laughing alongside her as she squirmed so hard against him, it never worked she was just too small..

'Sorry….' She squealed out breathing heavy as she finally stopped, she was completely flustered her hair disarray around her face.

'I don't think one measly carrot warranted a full-on attack.' She said trying to catch her breath.

Nathan just chuckled as he fixed her hair noticing how long it had gotten since he'd seen her last.

She was suddenly very aware of his husky laugh and the feel of his hands caressing her hair, glancing up into his blue eyes she caught the pensive look on his face, his hot breath mingling in with hers, god she wanted to kiss him so badly.

He was losing himself in her again, drowning in her beautiful brown eyes, his hand that had been caressing her hair slowly moved toward her jawline rubbing his thumb softly across it he heard her breath hitch in her throat at such an action and he smiled softly at her before he leant in capturing her lips so gently at first, both adjusting to the feel of each other again, both relinquishing to the yearning within them, he groaned as Haley pushed for more sliding her tongue against his lips into his mouth wrapping it against his so seductively and teasingly.

Haley felt him pushing himself against her so fully she could feel all of him and god she didn't think she could want him anymore than she did in that moment, the ache in her stomach was almost painful at this stage. Pulling back from the kiss breathless Haley whimpered as he pressed his body against hers, she was backed so hard against the wall she could feel it prickling into her back.

'I want you so bad…' Nathan mumbled as he rested his forehead against hers, their breathing staggered. He was trying to quell the yearning inside of him but it was just so overpowering. Pushing away from her completely Nathan rested his hands on his tips attempting to calm himself, he caught the confusion on her face. 'I just…..If we go any further I won't be able to stop.' He said his breathing ragged.

Haley nodded in understanding as she straightened herself out. She wanted to talk to him about them, now seemed like the perfect time and yet as she stared at him all her courage left her. She found herself afraid, afraid he'd wonder why she was even questioning their situation in the first place when he just said he wanted her, clearly for sex. So he still wanted this but she didn't know if she could go on anymore, if there was any possibility for her to fall out of love with him and save their friendship she needed to end this and distance herself from him entirely.

But that thought in itself was excruciating. And that's why she wanted to put this conversation off for as long as she could. It was stupid she knew; she was only delaying the pain maybe even making it worse.

'Hales…' Nathan prompted then catching her staring at him but not really looking at him either.

'Hmm…what?' Haley said his voice breaking her out of her thoughts.

'I better go I told Lucas I'd catch up with him and the guys at the river court but I'll see you tonight?'

'Sure.' She said feeling rather shy all of a sudden as he came towards her. He left a soft kiss on her cheek smiling so sweetly at her before he pulled away.

**XXXXX **

'So did you do it?' Lucas said casually as he slid into the chair at the bar beside Nathan. He had expected to see Nathan at the river court earlier but he'd never showed so Lucas figured maybe he had actually had the chat with Haley.

Nathan rolled his eyes trying not to snap at his brother. He knew Lucas was only trying to help but telling him had obviously being a big mistake. It was only adding to his frustration over all of this, he'd had three weeks away from Haley and he still couldn't get a handle on his emotions. Actually it's like they'd only skyrocketed since he'd actually seen her this morning and he was battling with what he knew he needed to and what he didn't want to do. He knew he had to end this messy benefitting situation between them and yet he didn't want to. He didn't want it to end he realised that and he was pissed with himself because of that. He should be able to end it. It shouldn't be this hard, it wasn't supposed to be.

'Are you taking some time…'

'Jesus Christ Luke.' Nathan interrupted him then. 'You're worse than Brooke you know that, stay out of it!'

'I'm only trying to help and don't diss my girlfriend.'

'Oh that's what you're finally calling her these days.' Nathan spat at him.

Lucas crossed his eyes. 'You're one to talk!'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Nathan said as he stood up from his chair and shoved him.

'Hit a nerve Nate…' Lucas couldn't help it; he knew he shouldn't push him like this but god he was asking for it. He was getting so fed up of his surly attitude.

Nathan shoved him roughly back into the high table behind him.

'Hey…' Haley came up to the boys looking on completely surprised. 'What the hell is going on with you two?'

'It's nothing…' Lucas said holding his hands up. 'We're just fooling around.'

'Didn't seem like nothing.' Haley scolded them, she actually felt like she was in sophomore year again when the two brothers used to be at this all the time.

'It's nothing.' Nathan repeated cutting her off and Haley looked at him rather surprised by his venomous tone.

'Luke can you give us a sec?'

'Sure, you should talk to her Nate.' He said sweetly.

Nathan stepped forward again only Haley rested her palm against his chest halting him. 'What happened? You've being jumpy since you left me earlier….' She reasoned softly.

'Lucas is just being a dick that's all…' Nathan gritted out.

'Well is it anything I can talk to him about?' She said trying to reason with him feeling rather confused, Nathan just seemed to be so volatile tonight; she'd sensed it off him immediately and it only seemed to be getting worse. She couldn't think of a single thing that had set him off unless something had happened back in New York.

Nathan wanted to laugh. _Yea you._ His mind taunted him. He glanced down at the concern pooling in her brown eyes and he felt horrible. He hated being like this; completely victimised by his emotions. Nathan sighed, he knew Lucas was right and he was all over the place, he couldn't help it; the conflicting emotions arising in him; both battling with ending this thing with Haley and not actually being able to were really beginning to bother him.

He was always so level-headed, he made a decision, clear-cut that was it. It had always been that way. Until now. Now his brain just felt like complete and utter mush and as he looked at her it only seemed to become even more opaque. He wanted to be near her but once again found himself conflicted; staying away from her would be better for his cause which was to convince himself that everything was normal but the longing to be with her was quickly overriding every little rational thought and justification inside his mind.

He was usually able to keep a lid on it but right now he just felt like he couldn't control a damn thing. 'No….I'm sorry….'

'You don't need to apologise I want to know what's bothering you.'

'It's just Lucas being annoying as usual…' He said lamely and watched her expression sink a little; a clear sign she knew he wasn't entirely truthful. 'Come on let's go watch the band.'

Haley joined Peyton and Brooke dancing sighing softly to herself as the moment Nathan brought her over there he'd gone from her again, what was going on with him? She'd hadn't seen him for weeks and he was just completely distancing himself from her.

'You might wanna keep your mouth shut Haley is catching on.' Nathan warned Lucas as he came up to him, he was leaning against the bar watching the band. Lucas shook his head at Nathan. 'Nathan everyone is going to start catching on if you don't pull yourself together look at you…'

Nathan sighed; he knew there was an element of truth in Lucas' words. 'I don't know what to say to her….' He began to admit.

'How's Haley doing?' Jake said as he approached the two at the bar catching the surprised look on both of their faces. Jake had been away in San Francisco with the company so Nathan hadn't seen him for two weeks, he didn't even know he was around Tree Hill for the holidays.

'Better now.' Nathan replied not really knowing what else to say. The ball was in Jake's court, he was the one who sort of dropped off from socialising with everyone.

'I'm actually surprised you stayed away that long.' Jake commented rather rudely.

'What that's supposed to mean?' Nathan said a little edgy.

Lucas cursed inwardly, considering how prickly Nathan was now was so not the time for Jake's smart comments which he himself was surprised by, what was with this night?

'Nothing…just where Haley's concerned you're usually joined at the hip that's all ..' Jake mused rather drunkenly.

'What the hell is your problem?' Nathan wondered. 'You've being a dick for weeks Jake so if you have problem out with it.'

'Nathan you need to calm down.' Lucas elbowed him.

Jake just smirked as he glanced back at the girls. 'Haley sure does look fine in that little dress.' He goaded Nathan.

'You dumped her Jagelski remember?' Nathan said not sure what the fuck he was getting at now.

'Yea I'd say that was around about the time that you fucked her.' Jake spat at him watching Nathan's whole face just freeze over.

Lucas almost spat out his drink and Nathan felt his blood run cold.

'Wh….what?' He stumbled pathetically.

Jake just chuckled. 'And you two thought you were being discreet….tell me when did it start Nathan before or after I came to you for advice?' Jake said looking at him disdainfully.

'Jake…' Nathan started not even knowing what to say now. 'We didn't….'

'Don't lie to me I saw you!' Jake said as he shoved into him spilling some of his liquor down Nathan's shirt in the process.

'Woah ok….' Lucas said stepping between them knowing this was about to get nasty. 'Now is not the time Jake.'

'You knew didn't you?' He cut to Lucas then. 'I can see it all over your face.'

'I only found out.' Lucas said.

'So it's true you have been fucking her?'

'Jake it's not what you think…' Nathan began.

Jake just scoffed. 'You know…you I expect it from.' He said cuttingly. 'But Haley she's got to be feeling pretty used now giving it up to you…'

'Screw you.' Nathan bit then feeling all his remorse swirl into anger.

'No clearly that's your job always had a thing for virgins didn't you Nate…' Jake began before he was pummelled to the ground as Nathan punched him in the jaw feeling all the vexation simmering inside of him explode.

The girls turned hearing the eruption break out behind them.

'Oh god…' Peyton let out as she noticed it and Haley looked on is disbelief as Nathan practically pummelled into Jake on the floor.

'Hey….' Haley shouted as she came over towards them, she'd never seen him beat on a guy like that before.

'Stop…come on.' Lucas tried pulling Nathan off receiving a few elbows in the side before he eventually pulled him back gripping onto him harshly. 'Cut it out both of you.' He fumed as Jake went to lay into him again only for Haley stepping in between.

'What the hell is going on?' She cried out in disbelief.

'Oh we were just getting a few things out in the open…' Jake said swiping the blood from his lip.

Haley swallowed hard as she caught the look of contempt of his face; the flecks of disappointment in his eyes inescapable.

'Jake…' Haley began hesitantly. She swallowed hard not even knowing what to say fully aware of Nathan standing behind her with Lucas holding him back and Peyton beside them.

But he spoke before she even had the chance. 'Seen as we're sharing all our secrets it's about time I told you some of mine…huh Nate?' Jake said so calmly. Haley crossed her eyes at him feeling very confused. What the hell was going on?

'I think we should go outside and just cool off.' Peyton reasoned as she tried to grab onto Jake.

'There's just one more thing I have to say.' Jake said.

'Jake….' Nathan's voice warned him now as he stepped in front of Haley. She caught a look pass between them..,'Well would one of you like to tell me what the hell is going on?' She said harshly then fed up on this game of tennis that seemed to be ensuing between them.

For the first time all night Nathan backed down from him, let his defences drop as he practically silently plead with him not to go there. Jake was staring him down; he knew exactly the power he held in that moment. Nathan felt it, everything shifting on its axis like it did that very day Lydia had found him in the graveyard, he had been presented with a choice and he took the one he selfishly needed at the time, burying it ever since so deep within the gravel and he had promised himself he would never think about it again. Yet lately it seemed to be unleashing itself, like a root growing out of the ground destined to destroy and unravel.

Haley, like Lucas now glanced between the two of them with growing impatience.

'I'm not the only one who was lied to.' Jake gritted out as he looked at Haley.

'Jake stop it.' Nathan warned.

'You want to know what really happened about Stanford Haley why don't you ask your best friend here?' He snapped.

And automatically as always, she immediately became defensive of Nathan. She could see the hurt on his face, the way Jake was tormenting him. 'You need to stop.' Haley said to Jake then. 'We hurt you, I hurt you I get it and I'm sorry but this isn't the way to go about it.'

'You don't believe me…. ask your mom Haley..'

'Ok you've said enough.' Peyton gritted out then angrily this time seeing how much this was hurting Haley as she pulled Jake away.

Her mom, what had her mom to do with this? 'Nathan…' Her voice shuddered with a dreadful anticipation that clung on to his despair. When he glanced her way she gasped, his face was full on anguish and it only served to panic her.

'Hales…' His voice was shaky and raspy.

'What was he talking about?' She clipped out then as her dread turned to impatient anger.

'We can't do this here…'

'You tell me right now Nathan…'

There was a gaping silence in the air between them, it seemed to linger forever, their friendship at one end of that line and its destruction at the other.

'You did get into Stanford Haley but…..' He spoke quietly, hesitantly his tone void of any emotion and yet his face was flittered with fear.

'But what….' Her tone was ice cold, like he'd never heard it before, ever and he caught her gaze again he found her once speckled hazel brown eyes were black like the night. He felt that look inside every part of him. 'Your mum….she…she wanted them to detract the offer and I helped her.'

Her once impatient anger turned to hurtful indignation as she shoved him incredibly harshly. 'How could you?' she cried out completely uncaring to the few people that were amongst where the scene was taking place. 'Oh my god…' She brought her shaking hand to her lips as everything around her turned to dust, the once level ground she stood on, the past as she knew it was laced with lies and betrayal and her present was only an extension of that.

And so she fled.

Nathan went to bolt after her before feeling two pairs of hands pulling him back and grabbing onto him again. 'Lucas what the hell?' He shouted through pure adrenaline.

'Give her some time you need to calm down.' Lucas gritted out annoyed when Nathan continuously bucked against him.

'Let me go this is Haley man.'

Lucas grimaced in pain as Nathan kneed him in the side before bolting it out of there.

**XXXXX**

He was gasping, his legs tightening in pain as he came to a halt in front of her porch, adrenaline had carried him all the way there and he caught the look of shock on her face at his form but that wasn't what almost sent him crumbling to the floor, no, he could see the makeup smeared on her eyes as she wiped them harshly not wanting him to know how truly broken she was but he had broken her, he could see it.

'Hales..' He rasped out between breaths feeling like he could choke at any given moment.

'No I can't….' She sobbed as she turned away from him. 'I can't even look at you.' She spat at him hatefully as she went to put the key in the door. But her hands were shaking too much and her efforts proved futile. 'Dammit.' She shouted as she whacked her hand harshly against the door.

Nathan grimaced as he cautiously walked closer to her giving her a moment as she placed in the lock again trying to calm her shivering form and turned the key successfully.

'Please just me let explain..' He pleaded with her as he raced in behind her then pushing the door when she pulled it back on him. 'Haley please…'

'Let you explain?' She bellowed as she turned on him just as she was about to mount the stairs. Even with her make up smeared, teardrops dotting her dress she was a beautiful mess. It made his heart ache. 'You lied to me for 4 years and now you want ME to let YOU explain.' She cried as she turned on him again going up the stairs to her old bedroom. He was hot on her heels again as he followed her into her room, the fact that she was running away from him into her old bedroom and him chasing after her only added an air of aching nostalgia to their current situation.

'Haley I made a mistake ok..'

'A mistake…' She scoffed as she hazardously dropped her clutch bag onto her bed. 'A mistake Nathan is forgetting we had dinner reservations….as mistake is me choosing to believe that pinky promise we made years ago actually meant something.' She spewed bitterly. 'You lied to me and what's worse is you've done it for years…' She said standing a few steps away from him as she crossed her arms protectively across herself.

'At the time it felt like the right thing to do.' He admitted despondently.

Haley leaned back against her dresser; her previous rage replaced now with the crestfallen realisation of what lay ahead for them. 'And what about after that huh? What about all those nights I came to you wondering how I'd so narrowly missed out my dreams…you knew Nathan, you dreamt it with me ever since we were kids.' She caught his eyes then with those words and he glanced away from her, it was too much. Her disappointment was too much to bare. 'God and this whole time.' She broke down then as the words falling from her mouth were too much for her to even comprehend.

Nathan stepped into her room fully then. 'Haley I was vulnerable ok, I just lost my mom, I was in a very dark place….Lydia she told me she felt it in her heart Stanford wasn't right for you, she was afraid you would go and leave us all behind and wouldn't be happy there.'

'Do you even hear yourself right now?' Haley choked out. 'what happened to me and you against them? God Nathan she always tried to control my life; she still does…she never wanted me to go there….'

'Maybe….maybe that was why you wanted to go because she didn't want you to…' Nathan panicked trying to grasp at anything to make this situation better.

'No….No…' Haley cried out. 'You don't get to do that not now, don't throw this back on me to justify your lie.'

'I'm not Haley…I'm so sorry.' Nathan said pathetically then and he felt the heavy emotion of despair take hold of him. A sense of abandoned hope crawled inside of him and it was even more dreadful than he ever could have imagined it been.

'I can't believe you've lied this whole time…' She said feeling so sick at the thought as the tears slowly trailed down her cheeks. 'What else have you lied about?'

'Nothing….Haley please you've got to believe me.' He pleaded desperately with her then seeking to kill the dreadful despair that was simmering inside of him. He had to find a way out of this. 'I was selfish ok, I was afraid of losing you, I just lost my mom Hales and I know that doesn't make this right but when Lydia came to me and said that I just held onto It I couldn't imagine my life the next year without you in it.'

'But that wasn't your decision to make..'

'I know...' Nathan said remorsefully.

'God Nathan I always knew you were selfish….but never with me.' She got out through tears. 'That's one of the things I love about you….growing up you were never selfish with me.' She choked out regretfully.

He felt his eyes fill with tears and he tried to blink them away, but he was struggling to hold back the emotion any longer, it was too heavy, it was screaming to be heard, it was consuming him like it was her. The tears threatened to escape him then as the mistakes of the past felt like two hands clinging onto his throat ready to suffocate him full.

Because what she loved about him wasn't true, he had been ruthlessly selfish with her and the way he treated her these past few months only stood as a testament to that very fact.

'I know you lost your mom but you should have told me how you were feeling, you held me back with you and now because of it I'm the miserable one.' She glanced at him then and felt a piece of her heart break at the desolate boy standing before her, there weren't many times in their lives she had seen Nathan like this, maybe only once…and it took everything in her not to throw herself in his arms. And that hurt even more, despite what he'd done, despite the lies, it killed her to see him on the verge of tears. There she was simmering on the edge of despair and anger again but her fury was the only thing that would stop her from seeking to comfort him. Her fury was the only thing that would distance her and she needed to distance herself from him completely.

She loved him; she was so desperately in love with him but now it just felt completely tainted.

How could it be that her heart was completely broken before she'd even said those words out loud?

'Don't say that.' Nathan pleaded as he wiped at his eyes and looked down towards the ground, she knew he hated anyone to see him get upset, even her. It just wasn't him.

'What? That's why you got so mad at me that night in Italy right?' She bellowed then. 'It all makes sense now….you got so angry with me about that New York comment, you wanted me to be happy to ease your own guilt.'

'I always want you to be happy Haley.' Nathan looked up at her then, tear tracks finally escaping him and she couldn't bear to look at him.

'God it all makes sense now…' Haley let out a sigh as she ran her hand through her mass of blonde hair and peeled herself from the dresser. 'You were spiralling so bad….'

He knew what she was talking about, the days after Karen's death were a haze to him now, he couldn't even remember, all he knew was that he had been in the depths of darkness and it was as if Lydia had offered him a way out.

'I was so worried about you and then you just went back to normal….how could I not have seen it?' Nathan didn't even know if Haley was talking to him anymore or if she was battling with her own thoughts. She shook her head despondently as all the pieces of a puzzle she hadn't even realised was broken were finally being put together.

'It's because I had you..' Nathan croaked out then through teary eyes. 'I've always had you.'

Their eyes met with that realisation. 'Yea…' Haley agreed disheartened. He didn't waste another second as he pulled her into his chest then holding her tightly, breathing in her sweet scent. 'I'm so sorry, I can't ever lose you.' He whispered brokenly and she felt his arms grip her even tighter as those words fell from his mouth.

'But what about trust?'

Those words had the cold seeping into his bones again as she pushed away slightly grieved from how weak she had been just falling into his arms like that. 'Did you not trust in our friendship enough to know that we were stronger than it all? Because I did.' Haley said. 'I knew that even if we were miles apart you would still always have me…'

'Of course I did but I couldn't physically be without you Haley don't you understand that?'

'And that makes this right?'

He was fighting a losing battle, he knew it. 'No of course not, it doesn't make this right….but I was 18 ok and at the time it felt like the right thing to do.'

'I'm such an idiot.' Haley mumbled.

'Please don't say that.' Nathan reached out for her again but she took a step away from him as she stared out her bedroom window into the black of the night.

' I'm a dreamer right, you said you loved that about me and you took it from me.'

The tears were escaping from his eye ducts again and he couldn't even cower away from her. Not this time, not when he felt her slipping away from him, every part of her. 'Haley please, we can figure this out I know we can…'

'Yea..' Haley said sarcastically. 'Me and you against them and look how that turned out, who knew you had actually made a deal with the devil all along.'

'Haley please I love you.' Nathan softly pleaded with her his voice full of emotion, so raw, unlike she'd ever heard before.

'You need to leave.' She choked out turning to face him then.

'I can't do that..' Nathan said as he took a step closer to her and she stepped back again.

'Nathan please..' She said again.

'No Haley you don't understand….' He choked out. 'I've been holding this in for a really long time…I'm….I'm….in love with you….' He emphasised stirringly.

Silence fell between them, everything seemed to hold still as his words hung in the air.

But not the heartfelt kind of silence, that should have followed such an admission. The silence was lamentable. Haley's tear stained eyes met his, so raw, so full of love it was tragic.

Why was he looking at her like this? 'Wh…what….take it back.' Haley panicked. What cruel twisted fate was this, he couldn't possibly be..? he just couldn't, her mind raced with all those times she looked for a sign that things were changing for him as much as they were for her and she'd never found it, he just couldn't possibly be in love with her…

'I can't …' Nathan said so vulnerably

'You can't say that to me not now after everything…' Haley took another step back afraid to be so close to him. Afraid of everything he was stirring up inside of her in that moment, she tried so desperately to cling to the lie that existed between them, anything to stop him from breaking through his betrayal.

'Haley I know you've felt it change between us…that last night in New Jersey….' Nathan began only she cut him short as she bellowed out.

'Stop.' Haley cried refusing to let him break her like this. He was the one that lied and so she retaliated knowing exactly where to hit him the hardest. 'You promised me nothing would change….you promised Nathan.' She said shakily then. 'Your just full of lies.'

Her words were met with a very painful silence.

. 'Haley please….' He tried to grab onto her but she brushed past him so fast, the slightest touch had his whole body but quivering and aching to hold her close. She opened her bedroom door holding it open. 'You need to go please…' Her breathing was hard, he could tell she was fighting back more tears.

'Haley I don't want to go.' He said brokenly.

Haley turned around her eyes glistening with regret. 'I can't do this anymore. ' She held his eyes emphasising the meaning her words before she left herself.

**XXXXX**

Haley stirred out of her sleep groggily peeling her body off the bed, her eyes felt dried up, raw and painfully sore from crying herself to sleep. She wasn't sure what time it was her body had evidently gave up and succumbed to the emotional exhaustion of last night. She grimaced as she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt the pain slicing through her just thinking of him. Thinking of it all. Stanford. The lies. Their friendship. His confession.

He was in love with her. She let the warmth from that seep inside of her before quickly pushing it out.

Nathan he couldn't be in love with her….he was just confused, part of her wondered would he even have said it had she not found out about Stanford? And it really pained her to think that because despite the lies, despite how hurt she was she was so in love with him she just couldn't put her heart on the line like that not now and not like this.

Haley sighed as she heard rummaging in the kitchen downstairs, she glanced at her phone to the side of the bed before reluctantly picking it up noticing a realm of missed calls from Peyton, some worried messages, a text from Lucas and nothing from Nathan. She wasn't sure if she disappointed or relived by that. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

'Oh honey what happened?' Lydia said concerned as her youngest daughter came into the kitchen in a plain grey t-shirt with jeans, her blonde locks tossed into a messy bun and there was no mistaking her puffy bloodshot eyes. 'Did you and Nathan have a fight?' She cajoled softly wondering what had her this way, the image strikingly similar to how she was as a kid after they would argue.

Haley scoffed at that laughing rather cuttingly which shocked her mother. 'Me and Nathan are over mom its done.' She said so evenly it was actually beginning to freak Lydia out.

'What happened honey?'

Haley bit her tongue, her soothing voice only serving to irritate her further given recent confessions and there was that anger again inside of her arising from their betrayal. And she couldn't keep it in anymore, she was so taken aback by the fact Nathan had lied last night and then by his admission she hadn't even had time to comprehend how the Stanford thing had even come to fruition.

'Well you see last night I found out that the person I trust most in the world has actually being lying to me for years….' Haley said as she grabbed the carton of orange juice from the fridge filling her glass, her back turned to her mother.

It didn't seem to click with that Lydia. 'Haley I'm sure it wasn't as serious as…'

'I know about Stanford mom.' Haley said before she turned to face her watching her mother's face drop with the realisation in the same sickening way Nathan's had. 'Yea pretty serious don't you think?' She sniped out angrily.

'Oh Haley….'

'No..' Haley said. 'You don't get to do this, not now, I don't want to hear your excuses I just want to know why.' She said, her eyes welling up again and she couldn't understand how there were any more tears left to leave her body.

'Honey please don't blame him….'

'You're both at fault…'

'I was doing it for you…' Lydia said softly then trying to diffuse the tension in the room.

Haley sighed. 'For years you told me not to pursue that school because I had a slim chance of getting in and then I actually get in and you kept that from me, you led me to believe that I was wrong all along to believe I actually had a chance.' Haley said sickly.

'Honey its only because you were 17 and you were young, naïve and maybe didn't know what was actually best for you, I always thought you'd be better off going to college with your friends….it was never about you not being worthy enough, you've always being worthy….'

Haley scoffed. 'But it made me feel like I wasn't worthy…..you know how crushing that was being rejected when I worked so hard, god mum you don't know what that did to me but how could you? It was never about me was it, it was always about you….it's always being about you.' Haley cried out hating herself for crying again right now. She turned away from her mum then wiping her eyes.

'I only want what is best for you honey….'

'At what cost mom?...' Haley said so tired of it all. 'Everything I've done has always being to keep you happy, to keep you off my back…god …'

'What are you talking about?'

'Nathan….mom I'm talking about Nathan we're not even a real couple, it all one huge fat lie' Haley said, the words just unleashing from her mouth now like she had no control over them anymore. She heard her mom gasp and she couldn't stop it. 'I did it all for you…to keep you happy because every time I'm home you remind me of what I don't have, the career, the boyfriend and I see that look in your eyes like you're disappointed…..and I couldn't take it anymore I just wanted you to be happy and not worry or maybe I didn't want you to look at me that way anymore and now because of you I'm in lo…' Haley stopped herself then choking back the words with her sobs realising what she was just about to admit and she stopped herself watching as her mom's eyes filled with tears. She looked both shocked and incredibly upset at her daughter's revelation. There were no words to say, she was completely lost for words.

Realising she had already said to much Haley began to leave the kitchen only halting momentarily as her mother called out to her, she could hear the cracks in her voice as though she was on the verge of tears herself. 'Honey, I am sorry for a lot of things but please don't push Nathan away, this isn't his fault, please don't take this out on him.'

Nathan blew out a breath feeling his heart thud in his chest as he knocked on the door even the knock itself felt heavy and filled with dread. He didn't even know what he was going to say, all he knew was he had to see her, to make sure she was ok. He'd barely slept a wink, tossed and turned on the couch at home all night, he'd even dragged himself to the beach in the early hours of the morning just sitting there. He couldn't even remember that now, it's like his body was moving but he wasn't really there at all. He felt void, numb ad deeply detached from everything around him.

Lydia opened the door for him and he noticed her visibly gasp at his appearance, he hadn't even looked at himself but if he looked half as broken as he felt he wasn't purely surprised by her reaction. No words are passed between them and he hated in that moment how they seem to be so connected by the heaviness of their hearts, of that mistake they made.

'I think you should wait out here.' Lydia says softly, there was no hardness in her words just caution and Nathan had never felt so unwelcome in somewhere so familiar to him ever since the tender age of 7.

Lydia sighed sadly taken in his appearance standing there in jeans, a white t-shirt with a grey jacket throwing over it messily, his hair all matt, his eyes as puffy as her daughter's. Haley came down the stairs then catching onto the look on her mother's face immediately.

'Please just talk to him honey, whatever about me just make it right with him.' She said softly worried for her daughter.

Haley stepped outside then her heart clenching tightly in her chest at the sight of him. She just wanted to wrap herself up in him but she couldn't.

'Hey…' Nathan croaks out, his voice raw like her own suffocating with the emotion of the night before. His shyness only had her craving to reach out for him even more and despite how unkempt he appeared; he was still so devastatingly handsome. 'Nathan….' Haley warned softly ringing her hands together in front of her.

Nathan caught onto her tone immediately, she didn't want him here, it was too soon. He could hear it in her voice and he could see it in her actions now, she couldn't even look at him. But he continued despite her reluctance. 'Haley we need to…'

'There's nothing more to say I told you I can't.' She halted him immediately as her eyes met his, her defiance burning bright.

'You can't what…' Nathan couldn't help but snap and he heard her gasp at his audacity to be snappy with her given the way they had left things. 'You can't talk to me…you can't look at me…'

'I can't be around you.' Haley snapped back as she walked to the end of the porch creating distance between them.

'Haley…' He attempted then softening his tone a little as the watched her cross her arms over herself.

'It's just too hard…' She said the sorrow so evident in her tone.

Nathan stepped towards her but she put her hands up signalling him off and he hated that. 'I meant what I said…..every word.' He added on softly his heart aching even further as one solitary tear escaped down her cheek.

'I just…..this is a lot to process Nathan…I've just found out everything I ever thought I knew was a complete lie…' Haley said still looking away from him, she couldn't look at him she didn't trust herself to keep the distance when her body craved him so bad.

'Not everything.' Nathan said trying to gauge her reaction but she was cowering away from him completely. 'You believe me don't you?' He questioned softly.

'I believe your sorry….' She said sadly as she glanced into his eyes then. 'But I think you're confused Nathan…'

Those words only served to irritate him. 'I'm not confused..dammit Haley' He bit out. 'I'm not confused Haley…. you know things have changed between us, I'm not the only one ..'

She glanced away from him then unable to look at his piercing gaze and he knew he had her 'Stop it…'

'Stop what…'

'This all of it….I can't do this right now Nathan I can't, hell for all I know you only said that because of what happened last night…'

'You know that's not true….' He retaliated shocked she could even think that, didn't she know him at all? it was such a big feat for him to even say that he was in love with her.

'Do I? because a lot of things I thought were true aren't…' Haley stood her ground then rather daringly.

'You can't hide behind the Stanford thing Haley….that's not going to make how you feel go away.'

'How I feel?' She scoffed. 'How would you know how I feel?'

He stepped closer to her then and for the life of her she knew she should have stepped away but she felt caught in some spell. 'I can feel it when I touch you..' He said softly as his hand brushed down her arm and sure enough the hairs rose everywhere, goose bumps prickling her body.

She almost melted into him. Almost. Until the chilling coldness seeped inside of her again, the coldness marred with lies and tainted with the act of what they had done; sleeping around. That's what it was. Sex It wasn't love, candlelit dinners, strolls alongside Brooklyn bridge or waiting, heart fluttering for text replies. It was sex. An agreement. Nothing less and nothing more.

'I guess that's what happens when you start sleeping with someone…' Haley briskly brushed him off both irritated and aroused by his close proximity, a dangerous combination.

'It's not being about sex for a long time Haley we both know that.' He said so rawly her heart actually fluttered.

'Nathan please…' She said then feeling herself a breaking point. 'I just need space…please just …'

He backed away from her then realising she was fighting off tears again, he knew he couldn't push her any further. But he had to explain himself, he couldn't have her holding onto the Stanford lie.

'I just think we need some time apart.' It killed her to say it but it was the truth if she was ever going to gain some clarity on this whole mess she needed time away from him

'Can you just let me explain about what happened…'

'Mom told me and truthfully I don't want to talk about it anymore Nathan.…'

Why did It feel like an end for them? 'Haley I still think we need to talk about it, about us…..'

'There's nothing more left to say….'

He swallowed harshly realising just maybe she actually didn't love him in the same way and he had made a massive error in telling her last night, maybe she never could love him in that way. Maybe she never would.

Haley heard him finally move away from her, his steps laden and heavy as he walked down their front porch before he called out for her. 'Hales…' She looked up despite her willingness not to her heart still fluttering in her chest at the image of him.

'I know I promised you nothing would change; it was naive and stupid of me…' He admitted sadly and she swallowed hard at his honesty, the emotional charge behind his words. 'I don't know when I fell in love with you, maybe I always have…I know I broke my promise but I never stood a chance did I?…Because it's you Haley and I guess it's always been you.' He admitted so emotionally and he turned away from her. And she let him go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you so much to those of you that reviewed my last chapter, some of your words were so lovely and I'm glad you're enjoying my writing it means so much. It has also prompted me to maybe share some of my shorter stories ill just need to tidy them up before I do. **

**So this chapter is mainly set in the past, giving context to some things I alluded to in earlier chapters. So sorry no current Naley but I do have the next chapter wrote and will have it up this week at some stage. **

**Chapter 16**

Haley ran her hands down her arms attempting to warm herself as they strolled along the docks in relative silence. Although the winter sun was shining brightly the cool January air ruffled amongst them.

'So have you spoke to Peyton?' Jake asked her then and she was surprised that they were the words he finally decided to use to break this horrible silence engulfing them.

Haley nodded. 'Yea she's moving out of L.A.' She said softly.

'It's nice you'll have her around…' It felt like he was going to continue down that path of conversation until he stopped himself. 'Haley I hate this…' He let out exasperated then as he came to a stop leaning against the railing of the dock.

Both spent some time gathering their thoughts.

'I'm sorry…' Haley said quietly then as she faced him. 'I never wanted to hurt you Jake, I actually really wanted things to work for us that's why I tried the second time….and what happened with Nathan it was wrong but it just happened and I couldn't explain it I still can't…' She said pathetically as she ran her hand through her hair.

'I'm not mad at you Haley….' Jake commented softly.

'But you're mad at Nathan?...' She said not understanding how he could be when really she was the one that had been seeing him.

'Not now.' Jake mumbled rather remorsefully. 'I went about it the wrong way I know that, I just….it felt like Nikki all over again and Nathan knew what that did to me.' Jake reasoned. 'And I know it's not like we were a couple but it just brought up the sneaking around…'

'It was meant to be just sex…' Haley said the words sounding hollow even to her own ears.

'I know that now…' Jake said. 'But the night I saw you outside Tric, him kissing you it just looked like so much more.'

'Why didn't you say anything? you broke it off the next day why couldn't you tell me…'

'Why couldn't you?' Jake said sighing softly then. 'I'm sorry Haley I didn't mean to snap…'

'It's ok..' She said as she too leaned against the railing now. 'I guess it just felt like if I spoke about it, it would make it real somehow…which is crazy because it was very real….I just knew it was wrong but I couldn't stop, we couldn't stop..' She whispered then feeling the pain twist inside of her. 'How did you know about Stanford?' She found herself questioning.

'I caught him and your mom talking about in school.'

Haley just shook her head sighing softly to herself.

'It was the evening the school board met about Whitey..'

'Right around the time I got my rejection letter.' Haley said softy.

'If it makes any difference Nathan was saying he couldn't go through with it but it was too late. When I found out I remember telling Nathan it wasn't too late to tell you but he was just so afraid of you loosing you Haley and I know it doesn't make it right but he wasn't right after Karen and you know that…he was all kinds of messed up.'

'You know I told him if he saw any possibly with you in the future that he needed to tell you and you want to know what he said to me?' Jake continued on when Haley stood there in silence taken in his words. 'He said that it didn't matter because it would never be anything more with you two, that you could never love him and he told me what I was alluding to was impossible.'

Haley brought her hands up to wipe her eyes. 'He's wrong..' She mumbled sadly.

'Look I don't know what happened between you two after what I said but don't shut him out Haley you'll both only be miserable.'

'Why are you doing this?'

'To ease my own guilt..' Jake mocked but it fell empty in the air. 'I was spiteful in what I did Haley and I don't want to be that person so I'm trying to make things right for all of us….something tells me Nathan is going to take a lot more convincing..'

Haley couldn't help but crack a small smile at that.

'So Peyton told me you're not going back to New York?'

'Not right now, I just need some time to figure things out you know.'

Jake just nodded at that.

'So you and Peyton?' Haley smirked lightening the heaviness of the conversation between them.

Jake just smirked. 'She's just out of a relationship and I'm in no position to be stepping into one.'

'You always did have a thing for her.'

'I did not.'

'So did.' Haley teased and the two smiled then. 'I think this is the most I've smiled in the last 48 hours I'm glad we're ok.'

'You and Nathan will be too.'

'I'm not so sure about that.'

'I get you need space, time whatever it is to figure it out Haley…just don't distance yourself too much ok.' Jake said as he hugged her then.

He was only a few steps away from her when she called him. 'Jake…just look out for him ok..'

He nodded albeit a sad smile on his face at her words before walking away.

**XXXXX**

Haley was aware of her looming presence at the door however, she continued to lazily fold and place various clothing items into her suitcase as though she hadn't recognised she was there.

She waited with baited breath.

'Please don't run honey you do it all the time.' Lydia said gently as she stood in the doorway to Haley's room.

And there it was.

'I didn't run all those years ago mom maybe now you'll let me go.' Her words weren't laced with anger, more so they carried the heavy weight of dejection. 'I just need to get away, I don't want to hurt you and I know if I stay I'm just going to say things and make this worse.'

Lydia nodded sadly. She'd told her daughter the whole story, how she found Nathan in the graveyard days after his mother's death and told him how she wished Haley would stay and how she'd convinced him that it was the right thing to do. Haley had listened to every word. Lydia knew she had to be patient with this, she made a mistake and her daughter deserved her patience and her grace coming to terms with it.

But Nathan didn't deserve her departure, her complete withdrawal and Lydia hated to see her daughter pulling away from him like this. She knew she was going to regret it.

'I know there is nothing more I can to say to make this right at this moment but please understand my baby girl I never wanted you to feel like you weren't worthy, I always have been a little too controlling your daddy tells me that and yes I've always felt that I have known what is best for you…. I took it to far Haleybob but whether your relationship was real or not you've been happier than ever and I noticed how that boy was with you when dad has his accident, I've seen it honey and I think what me and Karen said all those years ago is finally happening and I just wish you wouldn't run from that…..'

'Mom I just can't hear this right now….it's too hard all of it.' Haley said biting her lip willing herself not to fall apart again.

'I just don't want you to regret this Haley, we both know you love that boy. I watched you fall in love with him when he lost his mom and maybe you think I'm crazy but I saw it honey and I know if you think back hard enough you know deep down you felt it too.'

Haley shook her head sadly as she turned to face her mother.

'I was wrong to use his loss in that way ; it was selfish and manipulating and I'm not proud of it Haley but maybe a part of me was also doing it for my best friend too.'

Haley gave her a curious look not really understanding.

'I promised Karen I would look after him and I think subconsciously on some level you were the only way I knew how.'

Lydia smiled softly at her daughter leaving her with those parting words. Haley turned towards the picture standing tall on the dresser; the two of them beaming at the camera, they were about 17 at the time, Nathan was crouched down giving her a piggyback, he was wearing that loveable grey hoodie of his and she was wearing that poncho he absolutely hated. Her young heart had being so afraid then to ever entertain the idea of them being anything more than friends.

_4 years ago _

_XXXXX_

'_Nathan….omg….ew you did not just say that…overshare.' Haley grimaced as she rested both her feet on the dash. _

_His hearty laugh filled the space between them. 'You asked me….'_

'_Yea and by what happened I meant did you …you know ask her out? I so did not need the sordid details of yer heavy petting sessions.' _

'_Haley there's like two months left in our senior year I'm not getting into a relationship.' _

_Haley just rolled her eyes playfully. 'You're too much of a scaredy cat.' She teased. _

'_And what's there to be afraid of? Falling in love and getting my heart broken. What Bronte novel have you being stuck in this week Hales?' He mocked as he glanced at her. _

'_Shut up…' Haley said digging him playfully in the side. 'You know your mom is mad excited for you to bring home a girl before prom.' _

'_Please mom has had the two of us going to prom together since she knitted you that ugly hat.' _

_Haley gaped at him. 'Nathan Scott you loved that hat…in fact I remember you crying like a baby when your mom didn't knit you one.' _

'_It would look hot on me.' _

_Haley pretended to gag. 'Well it's getting that way you could wear one, what's going on with the hairstyle?' She egged him on. It was a little longer than she ever remembered it being. _

'_You like it when I grow it out this is all for you Hales.' _

'_Oh Nathan you're so good to me.' She teased back fluttering her eyelashes at him. _

_He just shook his head at her silliness. _

'_So Karen think's we're going to Prom together?' _

'_Yes Hales you know we'll go to prom together, fall in love, get married….' _

'_Oh god…' Haley chuckled. 'Do you notice they've just gone overkill with that coming up to the end of our senior year?' She questioned rhetorically. 'I feel like we got it all the time when we were kids and then we had an intermission there for years and now…' _

'_I think it's cause our parents fell in love when they were so young, I mean it didn't work out for my mom but for yours…'_

'_Fell in love….ah Nate are you reading my books again?' _

_Nathan just stuck his tongue out at her as he turned his attention back onto the road. _

'_How long more?' Haley said then glancing ahead of them. _

'_About an hour maybe more.' Nathan said. _

'_Ok let's play the radio game…'_

'_Haley…' Nathan moaned. _

'_Come on you love it…' _

'_Yea when I was 5…'_

_Haley rolled her eyes. 'And what was that 2 years ago?'_

'_You're lucky I'm driving Hales.' _

_She just chuckled. 'What's going to be song we dance to at our wedding?' She joked as she scurried through the radio channels. _

'_Haley….' Nathan admonished her. 'You can't joke about shit like that…'_

'_What it's not like I'm putting a spell on us…' She scoffed at him._

'_It's disturbing.' Nathan refuted. _

'_What the fact that I will be a beautiful bride disturbs you…'_

'_Not the fact that you'd be my…' _

_Ed Sheeran's Give me Love came through the speaker in the car then cutting Nathan off followed by Haley's resounding aww. Nathan rolled his eyes at her. 'You're not going to cry are you?' _

'_Shut up…' She pinched him. 'I love this song.' _

_He just shook his head at her. 'You're such a girl.' _

'_And you're such a boy.' _

'_Ok what does Haley really need in her life right now?' _

_Haley just scoffed at his question as he flicked through the channels waiting for it to settle on one. They both laughed as Lil Jon' Get Low blared through the car speakers. _

'_Oh my god…' Nathan chuckled at her. 'I mean that's pretty self-explanatory.'_

_Haley couldn't help but laugh with him. 'I guess I'm coming along to ho ho Theresa's party. Speaking of what does she want to do to Nathan?' _

_They couldn't help but chuckle again as Britney Spears Hold it Against me came through the speakers. _

'_Touché..' Nathan smirked. 'What is our summer going to look like?' He began just as the shrill ringing of Haley's phone cut interrupted him. _

'_Hold that thought…' Haley said as she turned down the radio. _

'_Hello….' She chirped. _

'_Yea he's here with me why?' She said softly shrugging as Nathan glanced across at her. _

_She didn't speak for a while he noted. _

'_Nate…pull over for a sec.' Haley said then still holding the phone to her ear. _

_For some reason of which he wasn't sure but he knew not to question it, knew not to tell Haley he couldn't and was suddenly very aware of the fact he needed to pull over right this second. A grim stillness all of a sudden seemed to suffocate the space of the car. _

'_Haley….' Nathan said then the worry in his voice evident as he faced her. 'Tell me….what is it…what's going on?' He began to panic then when he looked at her, lips trembling slightly, the fear in her eyes. _

'_Karen…sh she was in an accident they're taking her to the hospital now..' Haley said shakily. _

'_An accid….what? She's ok right?' Nathan panicked then. 'Haley tell me she's ok…'_

_Haley caught the desperate fearful look in his eyes and swallowed hard. 'We need to go the hospital.' _

_XXXXX_

'_You relax honey I'll do it…' Lydia soothed her daughter. _

'_No it's ok…'_

'_Haleybop…'_

'_Mom I need to do this please.' Haley said choking back a heavy sob willing the tears to stay put. She closed her eyes hearing her mom sniffling. _

_They'd only got back from the hospital little over an hour ago. _

_Karen was taken from their lives. The surgeon had tried but she had flatlined during surgery and they couldn't get her back. The internal damage was just too much and now she was gone. _

_He didn't even get to say goodbye. _

_Her tears dropped into her cup of tea and she quickly swiped her navy sweater across her face gathering up the moisture. She had to be strong right now for him. She couldn't fall apart like this. _

'_Has he said anything?' Lydia asked her, it was barely above a whisper. _

_Haley lifted her gaze to meet her mother's, taken aback by the tormented look on her face; it wasn't just pure grief over the loss of her friend but it carried a fear so painfully obvious for both of them; what would become of Nathan? How would he ever get through this. _

_Haley shook her head softly. 'He hasn't said a word mom…he just fell apart and then he bolted….only for Keith was there I don't think he'd even be here.' She closed her eyes willing away the images in her mind of Keith dragging a completely torn up Nathan back to the car. She wasn't sure he wouldn't even recall it he was in such a state of shock, it was horrible to watch. _

'_Is your father…'_

_Haley nodded. 'Yea I just told him to watch him I'm afraid he's going to run away or something.' _

'_It's getting late we should all try get some sleep.' Lydia said failingly. There were no right words to say, there was nothing that could be said right now that could explain this. _

_They sat in silence a long time, the house itself soaking in the grief of its remnants. _

'_How can we wake up from this mom?' Haley said sadly feeling the tracks make their silent, agonising path down her cheeks. 'What happens tomorrow?' _

_Lydia stood up from where she was perched in her stool pulling her daughter into her arms. 'We will get through it, you two will get through it together it's going to be ok honey, I promise you that.' _

_Haley stepped back into the sitting room giving her dad a grateful smile as her worrying gaze lingered on Nathan's chillingly stoic face. She watched her dad stand up from the armchair giving Nathan a soothing rub on his shoulder before he came towards her. _

'_I love you darling.' _

'_I love you too daddy.' Haley said softly, her voice a choked whisper as their sad eyes acknowledged each other. He left the room then and she went over to Nathan, she leant down on her knees in front of him taking his hands between hers she left a soft kiss holding onto them tightly as she glanced at him, she wasn't sure what to do or what he needed from her but all she knew was that she needed to be close to him. _

'_Let's get to bed.' Haley whispered softly, his eyes hadn't even met hers but as she pulled herself up to her feet and tugged him gently he followed her and she was grateful for that. _

_Stepping into her bedroom Haley led Nathan over to the bed, the moonlight the only source of light in her otherwise dark room now was oddly comforting providing a calming, safe ambience from the chaos of the outside world. Haley slipped into her pjs not given any thought to undressing herself in front of him because in all honesty he really wasn't even there. She came over to him then bending down to unlace his trainers pulling them off him. Standing up she gently tugged at his sweatshirt peeling it off his body casting it to the floor beside his shoes. Haley ran her fingers up his bare arms feeling him shudder slightly from her touch, her eyes met his then and she finally saw a flicker of something there aside from the detached coldness that had inhabited his dark blue orbs all evening. _

_She saw enough to give her….hope that a part of him was still here in this room with her. Haley pulled him against her then without hesitation resting his head against her chest as she ran her hands soothingly through his thick, raven hair. Silent, agonising tears seemed to escape him then and she wondered did he even know that he was crying, could he even feel it? She felt them soak right through the tank top. 'Oh Nathan…' Haley let out in a sorrowful whisper as she continued to stroke his hair. _

_They stayed like that long enough for the moon's brightness to be blighted by more darkened shadows across the room, a hollow resemblance to the events of that day. _

_She felt Nathan pull away then, that rather disturbing aloof look on his face and it was like he had checked out again as though he'd just shut off his emotions, removed a part of his soul from his body. And that's what scared her, the chance that he may pull away from her completely. _

_Haley stepped back then tugging gently on his hands again taking him off the bed with her. She went to pull back her comforter as Nathan shed himself of his jeans, his movements almost robotic. Haley snuggled into her bed then as he got in beside her, his eyes were on her and it was the first time she found herself looking into him and finding that he was completely unreachable. It scared her and she knew she had to find a way to reach him, maybe in a way she never had before._

_Because this time it was different, no words or promises were going to take this pain away. _

_They'd shared bunk beds as children, she stayed over at Nathan's house many times growing up but as they grew into their teenage years they found themselves grimacing at having to share a bed with each other but tonight that was different. _

_Tonight was about connection and she could feel him retreating away into a very dark part of himself and the only way to fight that was to keep him feeling something even if it was just her body. _

_Even if that was strange for them both. _

_Haley shifted over to him on the bed then tucking her petite frame against him as she draped her arm across him, she almost let out a sigh of relief when she felt his arm move out from under hers as he held her body close and she felt his chin resting on her head. _

_They clung to each other tighter than they ever had before. _

_XXXXX_

_Animated and lively chat bounced off the walls of Karen's home much like the woman she had been herself. There was something about this place despite the desolate circumstances, that made Haley feel warm. It always had. She had spent most of her life growing up here after all. _

_Stopping by the table in the downstairs hallway she picked up the wooden frame; Karen and her son smiling boisterly, he'd that grey hoodie on him he never took off, Haley teased him relentlessly about it and of course a basketball tucked it at his side. Haley felt the heavy sob try and choke her but she breathed it down, forcefully as she had been all night. _

_She felt Lucas' hands on her shoulders then, a down-hearted look on his face as he too drank in the image in her hands. They both didn't say it but they were both worried for the boy in that picture. 'Mom is just at the café; she is bringing over some more sandwiches.' _

_Haley nodded. They hadn't expected such a swarm of people but they really shouldn't have been surprised considering the size of Karen's heart and the stretch of her good will amongst the community. Deb had gone into business with her 3 years ago now, Haley wondered what would happen to the café, if she'd keep it going on her own. Lots of things plagued her mind but nothing like the worry that troubled her over her best friend. It had been 3 days now and with every passing hour it felt like he was slipping further and further away from her. _

'_God he didn't even get to say goodbye.' Haley mumbled brokenly and she felt Lucas grip her shoulders tighter. A solitary tear escaped her and Lucas pulled her from the foyer outside to the front porch sitting her down on the steps. He too was worried about his younger brother but he knew that in itself only scratched the surface of worry Haley was harbouring for her best friend, their bond was something so seldom captured, it went beyond surface appearances and there was something so much deeper there that he was sure even they themselves didn't realise. _

'_We were playing the radio game…' Haley choked out and Lucas let her knowing she needed to get this off her chest, hell the last few days had been a whirlwind of organising the funeral and being there for Nathan he was pretty sure Haley herself hadn't even began to process the grief for Karen was like a second mother to her. _

'_We were laughing….teasing each other, it was like any other day us coming back from a road trip to a bowl of spag bol at the café..' a slight smile tugged at the corners of Lucas mouth, he could only imagine. 'and then …it all just changed, I got the call from your mom and I knew even though they told us to come to the hospital I knew….and I , I was the one that had to shatter his whole world...' The sobs took hold of her then as she crashed her head in her hands, her body quaking with the surmount of her grief, their grief. _

_She wasn't sure how long she cried for but when she lifted her swollen, painful eyes the dusk was creeping in, blackening the night. _

'_Maybe you had to shatter his whole world but I also believe that Nathan still has the most important person in his life by his side, he's going to be ok and you're going to be ok..'_

'_I don't know Luke, he's completely unreachable, which isn't surprising but to some degree he as always let me in but now…' _

'_Give it time, Nathan has to deal with this in his own way and there's not a whole lot you can do about that only be there for him, if nothing else just be there.' _

'_God I'm sorry I didn't mean to break down in front of you like this…'_

'_You can't be there for Nathan if you're not there for yourself Haley.' _

'_Thanks for listening Luke.' Haley said softly as she looked up at the night sky. 'Did you see him leaving?'_

_Lucas nodded. 'About ten minutes after everyone got here.' _

_Haley cringed biting her lip. 'I'm gonna go find him are you ok to…'_

'_Yea of course, me and mom have it covered.' Lucas smiled at her. 'I'll call over tomorrow ok.' _

_Haley turned the key to the café door as she stepped inside, a place that once filled her with a comforting sense of belonging and warmth now was frozen over, a chill hung in the air and she suddenly did not want to belong here. Sucking in a deep breath she tip-toed into the darkness over to the door beyond the counter which would lead her to where he was, at least if her instincts had been right. Haley came up the steps slowly breathing a sigh of relief as she stepped out onto the roof, where there little mini golf course was. There he was sitting on their little ledge. _

_Her worry was numbing to her now, the feeling so permanent the last few days but every now and again it would sting like it just did there, it would hurt a little more when she caught sight of him. _

'_Oh Nathan…' She said sadly as she saddled up beside him. He'd thrown his grey hoodie on over his black shirt and slacks, his hair completely raggedy and flat and as he sucked on the bottle of Jack Daniels she felt another sting to her chest. 'Don't..' She pleaded softly 'Don't do that..' She was Surprised when he willingly relented his grip on the bottle and she took it off him realising it was already half gone. _

_She sighed to herself as she brought the bottle to her lips sucking back a hefty dose of it before laying it to rest on the floor. _

_They stayed like that for the longest time just staring out at the night sky like they had so many times before up here and on the bleachers. They would just look at the stars, count the stars and talk about their lives, asks questions that teenagers never knew the answers to and maybe they never would. But like always they would promise to face it together. _

'_Do you want to walk back…we could.'_

'_No.' Nathan rasped out; his voice jagged. _

'_We could go to mine…'_

'_I don't want to.' He cut her off._

'_Nathan..'_

'_I said I don't want to.' Nathan spat and Haley just shook her head silently sniffling a little, it was breaking her heart piece by piece seeing him like this. _

_He closed his eyes then shutting out the sound just like he had every other person and place he had come in to contact with these past few days. He didn't want to hear her cry; he didn't want her here period. _

_He opened his eyes then as he felt Haley shuffling beside him as she clambered off and seconds later she was gone. _

_And then the pain hurt even more. Because of course he wanted her here. He didn't even know it at the time but he had wanted her to find him, maybe that's why subconsciously he'd found himself on this rooftop; their place. _

_Time seemed to escape him when he was feeling this indifferent to everything, the chills didn't run through his bones anymore as the night drew in, he was already frozen over. But for a split second that frost thawed as he felt her around him again before he even seen her._

_And it rattled him, that despite all the numbness to such horrific events she could still make him feel something. _

_He watched wordlessly as Haley threw a ray of cushions from the corner couches in the café onto the grassy patch of their mini golf course. She then put his mom's ragged throw down laying the cushions over it. 'Lie down.' She instructed emotionlessly and Nathan actually found himself dragging his body over to her. Before he lay down he tossed off his grey hoodie leaving him in a black shirt. He passed it to her giving her a knowing look, saying nothing as he lay out on the throw. _

_Haley tossed his hoodie over her head, it swallowing her form and she felt such a sense of warmth in other ways that she had lost in the past few days. She unzipped the sleeping bag then opening it wide so it would cover them both like a quilt and she lay down beside him before pulling it over them. _

_She felt Nathan huddle in closer to her then wrapping his arm around her as she moved close to him resting her head against his chest, his head resting above hers. _

_And they just laid there like they did that very first time 3 nights ago, no words exchanged, they lay there both in comfort and in fear of what lay ahead. _

_XXXXX_

_**Two weeks later…**_

_Haley thumped on the door loudly before it pulled back and she narrowed her eyes at the girl standing in front of her with her arms crossed. _

'_OH Haley..' Theresa said sweetly but Haley knew it was an act._

'_I'm surprised you came to my party.' She goaded but Haley just scoffed at her._

'_Have you any respect? This town has suffered two tragedies in the last few weeks and you're throwing a party…'_

'_Well you're the one that's showing up at my door.'_

'_I came to find Nathan..'_

'_God and you say you're not into him.' Theresa goaded. 'You're beginning to look desperate…besides he's having the time of his life in there so I think a party was just what he needed.'_

'_You would say that.' Haley spewed as she shoved past her. It had been two weeks since she and Nathan had slept out on the roof on top of the café and since then he seemed to be on a downward spiral, he hadn't shown up for school and for the most part he was dodging them; his phone was always off, he wasn't at Deb's with Lucas' where he was supposed to be staying and he definitely wasn't at home. She hadn't even been planning on going to this stupid party that Theresa wouldn't shut up about in school until Peyton said he was here. _

_Haley went down the hall into the living room then where everyone was roaring around him as he drank straight from the keg. She wouldn't have even recognised him in his black t-shirt, jeans and baseball cap which was backwards on his head. He never wore that. Peyton squeezed out of the living area then tapping Haley on the shoulder. 'Good luck, he's like Lucas used to be back in sophomore year.'_

_Haley sighed as she took Peyton's red cup. _

'_Hey..' Peyton admonished._

'_I'm sorry I just need something strong if I'm going to try and drag his ass out of here. What brings you here, anyway, thought you hated Theresa.' She teased._

'_I do but there's free booze..' Peyton shrugged. 'You need help with that?' She grimaced as they watched Nathan stumble from the keg before mindlessly grabbing a shot glass from Theresa as he knocked it back. _

'_That's it…' Haley fumed as she stalked into the living room. 'Nice try…' She said with her hand on her hip trying to look daring as she came up to Nathan and pointed towards his hat. 'What you think I wasn't going to notice you?'_

_She seemed pissed but he was too high to care. 'Haleey.' He hugged her then almost knocking her over before he pulled back smirking. 'I knew you would come.' _

'_Jesus Nate how much have you had?' The stench of alcohol off him was overbearing. _

_Seconds later a guy who she recognised from school but didn't really know came over circling his hands around Haley's waist. 'Damn girl…you are fine.'_

'_Hey off her man…she's with me.' Nathan shoved him roughly and the guy just laughed at them. 'Weren't you with that lanky brunette?' _

_Haley's shook her head. 'You kissed Theresa?' She blew out, hadn't he been harping onto her for weeks about how annoying she was being and how he wanted nothing to do with her. _

'_What? No….at least I don't think so, I can't really remember.' Nathan smirked._

'_Great Nathan…'_

'_Come on Hales, I'm having fun….don't you want to have some fun?' He threw out carelessly and without warning threw her over his shoulder carrying her through the house. _

'_Nathan put me down!' _

_Nathan just laughed as he carried her through to the kitchen where there were girls standing on top of the counters doing kegs. 'Go on Hales show us what you got.' He goaded as he landed her on the counter with a mischievous glint in his eye._

_He'd never being so indifferent towards her feelings. He was chasing the high, the escape so much that his behaviour was barely recognisable, he was someone else and she knew then that was exactly who he wanted to be. She could hear the roars of people she didn't even know around her encouraging her to go for it as Nathan lifted her towards the keg. _

_Fuck it, being as stubborn as he knew she was, she wasn't going to back out but she wasn't about to partake in his fall from grace either. She would knock him out of this just before the night was over, she knew the alcohol offered him a temporary high now but soon all that drink would do the exact opposite and that's when she would plan her attack. Haley wasn't letting this happen to him, it could go on for weeks and weeks would turn into months and he was better than this. _

_He was so much better than this. _

'_Chug, chug, chug….' Everyone chanted as Haley took a drink before she pulled back and Nathan dropped her back to her feet as everyone cheered and slurred drunkenly around them. _

'_Happy?' Haley said standing her ground as she turned back around to face him. Nathan just smirked as she caught onto the red cup that was dangled in his face by god knows who and drank it all the while holding Haley's gaze. _

_She sighed as she moved away from him. It was going to be a long ass night. _

_Hours later Haley came upon Nathan sitting on the staircase, his t-shirt was tattered with drink stains, his hat long discarded, his hair was a mess it was much longer than it had ever being before, she was sure he didn't even see himself when he looked in the mirror these days. _

'_You ready to get out of here Rockstar?' Haley bumped his shoulder playfully as she sat down beside him on the stairs. 'You so owe me, I swear I've never being groped as much in life, Theresa told everyone there was a hot virgin in her house.' Haley obviously joked. _

'_I didn't want you here Haley.' Nathan mumbled then, his tone was void of any emotion, she couldn't really tell if he was angry or just plain fed up, he was completely aloof. _

'_Come on.' She said then as she tugged on him to move off the stairs. They walked quietly out of the house, Nathan was a little wobbly brushing against more than usual but other than that she could tell he was sobering up a little and that elusive high was wearing off. 'We missed you at school, Principal Turner gave a really nice sermon, he spoke about you…'_

'_I don't want to hear this Haley!' Nathan spat out then, his previous aloofness gone as frustration took over him. He stalled walking alongside her then, his jaw clenched. _

'_What you can't even talk to me now?' She said then as she turned around. 'It's been two weeks Nathan…you've barely said a word to me since the funeral, you're gone all the time….' _

'_Well maybe I don't feel like talking.' Nathan quipped just daring her to even go there._

_Haley sighed dejectedly. 'I'm trying to let you deal with this how you need to….but pushing me away…it's not going to work Nathan, that's never going to work.' _

'_Screw this I'm going back to the party.' He said turning on his heel. _

'_And what're you going to do….drink yourself into oblivion, stop it Nathan this isn't you!' She tugged on his arm then but he harshly shoved her away from him._

'_Exactly Haley in case you haven't realised I don't want to be me right now!' He began walking again not waiting for her retaliation. _

'_You're not going in there.' She said as she stubbornly stood in front of the gate, he could easily shove her out of his way, she knew that but she wasn't about to give up. _

'_Fine.' Nathan gritted out to her surprise which turned to absolute distress as she watched him take out his keys and unlock the car._

'_Nathan…' She all but screamed as she scrambled into the passenger side. What the hell was he thinking? 'You can't drive, you've been drinking.' _

'_Yea well thanks to you I'm completely sober now.' He said sarcastically as he went to put the keys in the ignition._

'_Stop it!' She shouted at him as she went for the keys but he was strong as he barged his arm up in front of her and started the car._

'_Nathan I'm warning you turn the car off right now.' _

_His face was completely vacant, no emotion in his usual blue orbs, his stance completely aloof again as he pressed the clutch down and put it in reverse. He began revving unmercifully loud as he backed the car out of where it was parked before pulling out and revving it harshly as he went down the road. Haley's cries howled out over the engine. _

'_Dammit Nathan you're scaring me!' She cried out, she looked over at him then her lips trembling as the tears rolled down her cheeks. _

_And it was like a flicker in him had been turned, her emotion triggering his, her fear….the car came to a complete halt in the middle of the road as he deadened the engine as he pulled the keys out, his body now trembling, his shaking hands dropped the keys to the floor beneath him. _

_Haley's sobs slowly began to eat away at everything inside of him. _

_He never wanted to be the reason she was afraid, the reason she felt unsafe. _

_He ran his shaky hands up his temples then leaning his head against the steering wheel as he let out a cry of frustration, the shield of indifference dissipating and giving way to immense, insurmountable grief as he thought about his mother. _

_Haley watched him heart-breakingly fall to pieces in front of her eyes and she felt completely and utterly helpless. She dried her own eyes on her sleeves before learning forward trying to peel his hands away from his head on the wheel. _

_He tried to fight her off but he soon conceded that fight as he peeled his head off the steering wheel. His eyes were painfully red mirroring his pain and remorse._

_Haley pulled herself onto his lap without a second thought. She felt Nathan's head fall onto her neck, his tears soaking through her light sweatshirt, his anguish seeping into every part of her and she clung to him, Nathan wrapped his arms around her so tightly for fear that life would somehow swoop in and take her away from him too. _

_She wasn't sure how long they clung to each other like that until she felt Nathan lift his head up from her neck, his gaze trained downward. _

'_Don't…' Haley whispered softly as she brought her hands up to his cheeks wiping the path of his tears. 'Don't shut me out…' _

_He lifted his eyes to hers then, both their breathing heavy from their emotional turmoil, she watched his eyes drift down towards her lips before looking back to her and she swallowed hard suddenly very aware of their close proximity, she could feel his hot breath fanning across her lips and she wanted to….._

_Startled by her reaction Haley clambered off him awkwardly hitting into the gear stick as she went back to her respective seat. _

_What the hell had she being thinking…had she really considered kissing him? Clearly all of this was messing with her emotions to the extreme. _

'_Let's go home.' Haley said softly to him then hoping he'd caught no inclination to her inner panic from what had transpired between them moments before. _

Haley hadn't even realised her eyes had begun watering as she stared at the picture of the two of them so blissfully unaware of what lay ahead for them. She knew those weeks following Karen's death had changed her, had changed them but she could almost explain it away as being a direct cause of the situation, her feelings so heightened for him because of the pain he was going through.

She remembered feeling the urge to kiss him that night in his car and explaining that urge away as a need to comfort him in some way, she never questioned it after that.

Maybe she had always been to afraid too. Sighing softly to herself Haley popped the picture frame back down on top of her dresser as she turned back around to her open suitcase. She needed to get away from here, she was surrounded by memories, _their memories._

And even those memories, bounded by the past didn't make a whole lot of sense to her anymore.

Haley picked up her phone then her fingers just hovering over his name. She knew Nathan was flying back today, she wasn't going back today but if he could see the boarding ticket sitting in the back pocket of her jeans he'd learn she wasn't going back there at all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**_4 months later _**

'Look I don't care if Millicent doesn't get her break…frankly I'm not the dickhead that forgot…' Nathan gritted out running his hand through his thick hair. 'Just get her to go back to the office and make copies or I swear to god I'll….' Nathan tossed the phone down on the couch angrily realising the person on the other line had cut him off.

'And this is how you spend your mornings off…' Peyton said crossing her arms across her chest as she glanced at Nathan who looked like he was about to blow a fuse.

Nathan rolled his eyes picking up his phone again as he typed away furiously on it. 'I may as well have gone in considering people can't do one fucking job I tell them to do.'

'I hope that's not my boyfriend you're talking about.' Peyton said quirking her eyebrow.

'That what you're calling him nowadays.' Nathan mumbled completely carelessly as he continued to type away on his phone.

Peyton just shook her head at him, Jake or Lucas weren't exaggerating by any means when they said Nathan's attitude had done a complete U-turn for the absolute worst.

'Isn't it about time you shacked up with him and stopped annoying me?' Nathan said then finally facing her.

'Oh but someone has to be all sunshine and rainbows…' Peyton quipped.

'I'm not in the mood Peyton.'

'When are you ever in the mood Nate?' Peyton sighed watching as he dropped to the couch. 'Look I know things have been well shit lately….' She reasoned. 'But this is Brooke and Lucas' day and please just can you revert to your factory settings of being an agreeable human being for a few hours?'

Nathan sighed as he ran his hands down his face. 'I just…I don't want to see her Peyton.' He mumbled semi-bitterly.

Peyton let out a small sigh as she dropped down to the couch beside him. 'You two are going to have to see each other sometime….besides isn't this like the longest time you've ever not spoke to each other…don't you want to change that?'

'I'm not the one that ran away.' Nathan quipped coldly as he hopped up from the couch refusing to get into this conversation.

Peyton sighed sadly as he stormed out of the room, leaning across the couch she picked up the picture he had left flat on the side table obviously hiding it. 'Oh you two…' She said with a shake of her head as she smiled at the picture of the two of them, it was a selfie Haley had taken right on this very couch. They looked so good it in together and so happy. It's funny how they'd always resembled a couple in their pictures. She left the picture standing up as it rightly should be before taking out her cell and dialling Haley's number.

**XXXXX**

'So I take it Peyton has as much confidence in you getting to this thing as I do?' Quinn teased as Haley said her goodbyes and dropped her phone into her bag.

'Funny.' Haley deadpanned. 'What did you think I was going to continue on down the motorway and somehow miss the exit to the airport.'

'It's what you do best baby sis.'

'I wish you and mom and everyone else would stop saying that, I've never run from a damn thing my whole life…' Quinn gave her a knowing look. 'Until now…' Haley added with a soft sigh.

'You run from yourself Haley, you can be in the same place your whole life and still be running.' Quinn said softly.

Silence fell between the girls for several minutes before Haley spoke up again. 'I never wanted to hurt him, me leaving it wasn't because I wanted to hurt him for that stupid lie…I just needed to get away.'

Quinn gave her sister a sad smile. 'When was the last time you two actually talked?'

'February..' Haley mumbled not entirely proud of that fact. And that conversation over the phone hadn't been entirely amicable. Nathan was angry with her decision to stay out of New York, she hadn't even come back for the rest of her stuff.

It was May now.

'That's long for you guys.'

'I know, the longest ever.' Haley said sadly. 'It's weird I'm like so excited to see him, I miss him but I'm also scared.'

'Because of what he said?' Quinn pondered.

'Because of what I didn't say.'

Quinn smiled knowingly. 'Well you can't stay in this state of limbo any longer, as much as I've loved having you here with me….I prefer spunky, fun Haley not whiny, love-sick worried Haley.'

'I am not whiny or love-sick.' Haley fired back.

'Haley your songs would give Shakespeare sonnets a run for their money, not that I don't think its great you're getting into your music again…it's just so dark and depressing.'

'Shut up.' Haley rattled out shoving her sister playfully. The girls giggled despite themselves.

'So let's go over how we're going to do this….' Quinn began then drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. 'Nathan is probably going to be a little stand-offish, probably on edge so just greet him normally say there are some things you'd like to say to him that you didn't want to say over the phone and give him a cute smile…'

Haley just shook her head at her sister. 'What if he's having none of it…'

'Well then he clearly doesn't remember who he is dealing with.' Quinn retorted. 'Haley you guys have been best friends you know better than anyone how to handle Nathan when he's not the most forthcoming….'

'Yea well I've never been on that side of the fence with him in my life…'

'Your also the first girl he has fell in love with so I'm pretty sure you've got some strong armour there…'

'I wish it was that easy..' Haley said.

'It is that easy sis….you bringing your ass all the way here to San Francisco just made it a whole lot more complicated.'

'I don't regret coming here, I just regret the way I did it.'

'So tell him exactly that, make sure he knows that you leaving was never about hurting him because of that stupid Stanford scenario….fyi I'm still going to grill mom about that when we're back in Tree Hill.'

'Trust me there's nothing you can say that mom hasn't heard already.' Haley said just as Quinn pulled in outside departures.

'You're going to be fine baby-sis and if you feel like copping out just throw on your shades trust me no one is going to know you.' Quin winked playfully.

Haley just fobbed her off playfully as she stepped out of the car. It was finally time to go to New York.

**XXXXX**

Nathan had managed to successfully keep his distance from Haley while they were having the meal which really wasn't much of a challenge considering he deliberately waited for her to sit down so he could sit out of her eyeline. It was childish he knew but her actions had been so it's not like he was going to feel bad for it.

He had gone past the stage of feeling annoyed and broken over it all, now he was just so tired of caring.

And it was as clear as day for how shit he had felt these past few weeks she didn't feel the same way at all.

Haley looked vibrant, she'd chopped her long blonde locks and was now sporting beachy brunette waves that only accentuated her beautiful brown eyes, the honey tan she had noticeably developed most likely from all the time spent at the beach created this alluring radiance. God she was so beautiful it physically hurt him. And it only pained him even more seeing her come back like this. And he hated her for that.

Well that wasn't true, he knew that. But the only way to fight off his love for her right now was to hate her, after all passion couldn't just go away but he sure could use a different outlet for it.

'Do you want some help with that?'

Despite himself he felt the goose bumps prickling his whole body at the sound of her voice and it only served to irritate him even more. He didn't want to be affected by her, not like this.

Haley stepped outside into the garden area at the back of the restaurant and halted as she noticed Nathan fiddling with the projector. They had just finished up having a lovely meal with a few close friends to celebrate Brooke and Lucas' engagement and they were all still sitting around drinking inside. She had vaguely being informed that they had planned an extra little surprise for them today. She smiled noticing the picture of them on the big screen from their fresher's party back in their first day of college; the day they all met Brooke.

Her eyes fell to Nathan then and she felt her heart rate increase. Her eyes had sought him out the moment she stepped into the restaurant earlier and boy did she get rewarded. He was wearing a three-quarter length navy shirt and grey slacks; his hair was much longer and styled unforgivingly sexily just how she liked it….god was he trying to torture her?

And she asked the first thing that came to mind noticing how he immediately tensed up from behind at her voice. And she hated that. Hated that she was the one to cause that reaction.

'Well I was wondering what our first words were going to be…' Nathan replied rather stoically as he stood up from where he was leaning down fixing wires by the projector.

'Well it was either that or I miss you…' Haley said softly as stood across from him, their eyes locked before they quickly glanced away.

'Well there's being enough lies between us don't you think..' Nathan said rather sarcastically as he continued busying himself on the laptop.

'I have missed you Nathan…'

'I like your hair…its different.' He interrupted her as he glanced her way again.

She felt her body responding the only way it knew how from his perusal, at this stage she wouldn't be surprised if he could actually hear her heart thudding in her chest. 'Thanks …Quinne convinced me, I needed a change.'

'Imagine that.' He mumbled to himself.

She caught his response but choose to let it slide knowing she had to pick her battles wisely. There was so much she needed to say to him, so much she wanted him to hear. Anything to make this better.

'How have you been?' She found herself asking regardless.

'Just peachy.' Nathan replied.

Haley expelled a small sigh. There were very few times in her life she'd seen Nathan put up the stone wall most of those occurrences being Dan and right now in comparison to those instances she felt he had it even higher with her. She was expecting his irritation, his disappointment, hell she deserved it. But she hadn't being expecting this; his spitefulness.

'I would ask how you are but you seem to be doing just fine.' He said then unable to keep the spitefulness out of his tone. 'Looks like you got your dream after all huh….moving to the west coast and getting away from this city, I mean you're practically glowing Haley…'

Haley felt the tears prickle her eyes, not so much at his words but his hostile tone. Is that what it looked like to him? She was glowing when her heart had been practically ripped apart, all of this, the hair, the tan, all a façade, a perfectly crafted façade much like so much of her life had been because she had been running from something and she knew what that was now. 'Nathan we need to talk….'

He scoffed at that. 'Let's face it if Lucas and Brooke weren't engaged right now you wouldn't even be here…'

'That's not true.'

He glared at her. 'Haley do you remember the last conversation we had?'

_How could she forget?_

'I asked you on the phone if you could just come back so we could talk and you told me you couldn't actually if I remember right you said you weren't coming back.' He seethed at her.

'It was too fresh..'

'Too fresh?' Nathan scoffed as if that was the most ridiculous statement in the world. 'Oh because delaying it like you have is so much easier.'

'I'm here now and I want to make things right…'

He chuckled jeeringly at that. 'Yea on your terms well guess what I don't care anymore.'

'Your lyi…' Haley began.

'Eh guys….' Peyton stepped out interrupting them grimacing as she noticed their conversation getting heated. 'Is the slideshow ready to go? We're going to get everyone to move out.'

Nathan just nodded silently running his hand across is forehead as he turned away from both of them. Peyton sent Haley a sad smile as she left Nathan there and came back in towards the bar.

'You ok girlie? His default setting has been hostile for the last number of weeks.' Peyton said as they walked over to the bar.

'He's hurting.' Haley said as she glanced back at him longingly. 'It's all my fault…'

'Hey….hey…..we made a rule today no crying and it was Brooke that made that rule remember because she doesn't want her make up ruined' Peyton said elbowing her. 'Or else we have to do a shot of sambuca.'

'I didn't hear about shots.'

'A shot for every tear.'

'Well in that case I won't be walking out of here.'

Peyton smiled at her as she draped her hand over her shoulder. 'Come on I want to see Brooke try and not cry as she watches this slideshow.'

XXXXX

'Hey….' Luke acknowledged Haley with a smile as he came up to her.

'Oh and to what do I owe this honour?' Haley teased him.

He chuckled at her. 'What can I say I am kind of popular tonight?'

Haley smiled. 'I am so happy for you Luke; I have to say I wasn't expecting it just yet but I always had a feeling with you two.'

'I wasn't expecting it myself it just felt right you know? I do have to pick a fight with you though over some of them pictures that made the slideshow.'

Haley giggled at that. 'They were some of your best moments.'

'I knew the moment it started playing that you had a part to play in all of this.'

'Yea even halfway across the country I manage to ridicule you Luke.' Haley teased.

'We've missed you.'

'He tell you what happened?' Haley said feeling rather pathetic that she couldn't even say his name.

Lucas just nodded. 'yea but if you're waiting for judgement you're not going to hear it from me, you two will work it out.'

'You might just be the first person not to judge me for going…'

'What matters is how you judge yourself.' Luke said easily.

'I guess.' Haley said softly.

'So are you staying…' Lucas question was interrupted by a loud rumpus at the bar where Haley glanced wide-eyed to see Nathan leaning across and grabbing the guy.

'Oh shit…'

'Get out of here…' The large bulky security guy latched onto Nathan pulling him back.

'What the hell man? He's the one not doing his fucking job and getting me what I ordered.'

'You've had more than enough…'

'Screw you…'

'Nate stop….' Lucas said then as came upon the scene.

'You with him?'

'Well yea…' Lucas began as the man interrupted them.

'Well he's leaving…'

'I'll go….' Haley said and Lucas looked at her as though now really wasn't a good time. Haley gave him a knowing glance back and he conceded. 'Ok just get him into a cab.'

Haley bundled Nathan into the back of the cab as she went in behind him, he didn't seem to register any kind of emotion to her being here with him, he just seemed so careless towards it all. 'Is your head hurt?' Haley wondered as he ran his hand up his face muttering inexplicitly to himself.

'It all hurts.' Nathan mumbled as he turned away from her looking out the window.

Haley sighed to herself feeling those walls around him raise higher with each passing second. How could she get past them, they seemed impenetrable at this stage? Maybe he needed to feel her, she knew it was shallow but maybe if she could just get through to him that way first in the hope she's somehow reach him emotionally as well.

Haley reached her hand across then leaving it against his thigh, he jolted from her unexpected touch and she softly scraped her nails against him in a soothing manner hoping somehow it was getting to him the way it was her.

Nathan bit his lip as felt her hands raking against his thigh, it was an innocent move really but god did it have him wanting to rip that little sundress right off her and take her right there in the backseat, have her screaming out for him.

It had been so long since they were together in that way. And seen as it started out as sex without anything else he longed to go back to that kind of sex without his stupid heart involved. He just wanted to take her so roughly that she'd be begging for more, he wanted to leave her wanting just like she had left him; desperately yearning.

Haley felt Nathan grip her hand tightly, her heart sinking a little in her chest as he pushed it away from him. Hesitantly she met his glare then, finding herself getting lost in those intense eyes; eyes she had always been completely captivated by but more so now than ever. 'Natha…' She began only he cut her off as he leaned into her backing her against the door of the cab, his tongue was everywhere in her mouth completely ravaging her, his kisses were angry and dominating and had her whole body burning up and shivering all at once.

She felt their taxi coming to a halt but he didn't let up even as he reached across to open the door from behind her his lips latched onto her neck sucking and biting, marking every inch of her. They fumbled out of the taxi, Haley gasped as he hoisted her up and she felt herself pressing right down on his hard cock through their clothes, she gyrated against him in an attempt to ease the longing ache in her tummy and revelled in the erotic groans coming from him at her actions. They made their way to their floor, her rubbing up against him the whole time as he ravaged her neck, she was pretty sure it was going to be destroyed in the morning but she didn't care.

'Back pocket…' Nathan barely got out as he lifted his mouth off her neck and breathed against her, his heated breath fanning out deliciously across her shoulder. She felt him push his member up against her and she moaned loudly. 'Fuck…Nathan…' Haley said as she fumbled to put the keys in the door. She whimpered then as she felt his hand slip under her dress and straight inside her panties without any hesitation. 'Nathan…..' She gasped as he began to build up a tortuous rhythm against her clit…'Oh god.' She cried out completely oblivious to the fact they were still in their hallway.

The door finally opened as Nathan kept his slow pace working her over walking them backwards towards his room. He threw her down on the bed yanking her dress up as his hand kept its slow tortuous rhythm, he revelled in the way her boy responded to him, back arching, legs stretching, bellowing out his name in breathless gasps. He could feel her so close and somehow he managed to pull away.

Haley whimpered feeling the loss of his fingers, she glanced down at him through hooded eyes.

He caught the look on her face and it only served to turn him on more, she was curious at first and then she seemed angry as though she'd caught on to what he was doing. Nathan climbed back up her body slowly kissing every inch of her, nipping, sucking and biting driving her absolutely wild. He felt her try and rub her legs together for much needed friction but he separated them even more gliding his fingers along the wet juices flowing from her. She whimpered loudly at this actions.

'You know how many nights I spent here alone just needing you…' His words were cold and yet somehow amongst the flaming heat of his body against hers it provided a delicious contrast which only aroused her further.

'I know….' Haley whimpered; she had felt the same.

'No you don't because you never came back.' Nathan whispered in her ear as his hand danced so delicately beside where she needed him to be, she was on the brink of orgasm when he pulled away from her and her body was literally going crazy from him.

'Nathan please….' Haley whimpered as she tried to push herself down on his hand but he pulled away and she cried out.

'What do you want baby?' He said huskily as he kissed along her jawline, his stubble grazing deliciously against her cheek.

'You….I want you…I need you..' She whispered back as she grabbed his hand brining it down alongside hers to rub over her clit; their two hands together in motion.

'Fuck…' Nathan said as he pulled back a little and glanced down watching their hands. Haley let go then as he built up rapid pace watching as her whole body surrendered to him in a matter of seconds, her back arched off the bed so erotically as she shuddered and panted his name between breaths.

Haley gasped just coming down from orgasm when she felt him move his thick cock inside of her, he didn't wait, he was relentless pounding into her, both of them crying out into the hollow apartment, her legs wrapped around his pushing his girth deep inside of her. Their bodies tangled together, slick with sweat, their lips finally met again in a deep, frantic kisses as they build towards their climax and in the end it all felt incredibly destructible.

Nathan pulled out from her immediately panting harshly as he rested his head above her shoulder. As the euphoric, pleasurable heights escaped his body all he was left feeling was even emptier than before. How ironic he figured that the very thing he had proposed, sex without any feelings or complications now had him feeling this way.

He was madly in love with her and sleeping with her like that, in that way didn't make him feel any more in control. He thought that by having her wanting, yearning and begging for it that he'd feel less like the idiot completely consumed by his need for her but now he just felt completely unfulfilled again.

'What are you thinking about?' Haley said softly as she ran her hand up his slick back and through his hair. He was clinging to her, she wasn't sure if he even realised but maybe, just maybe being with him like this was as she had hoped a way to break through the impenetrable wall he had placed around his heart.

Her voice broke him out of his thoughts, her voice so soothing and so Haley….it startled him how easy it would be to give into her and hold her for the night. But he couldn't do that. He'd already given so much of himself to her and she didn't want it.

Haley felt Nathan pull away from her rather abruptly and her heart dropped for a second time that night. She watched as he hopped off the bed throwing on a pair of boxers and a grey t-shirt He went to grab a pillow.

'What are you doing?' Her question came out rather panicked. as she sat up holding the sheet around her naked frame.

'You take the bed I'm going to the couch; I would say you could take the spare room but Peyton has shit everywhere.'

She grimaced at him overtly calling what was her room the spare room now. 'Nathan…' She called him just as he got to the door. 'Don't go….' She whispered vulnerably and he stood there for a second before catching her gaze with a knowing look on his face before he left her.

Of course he was going to leave, she had left after all.

Haley sunk back in his bed relishing that smell so inherently Nathan that consumed her. God she had missed his scent. This wasn't right, it didn't feel right lying in his bed like this. Sighing Haley pulled the sheet back as she hopped out of his bed throwing his shirt around her frame as she walked out to their living room. He was lying back flat on the couch with his hands behind his head. He didn't acknowledge her just stayed staring at the ceiling.

'Nathan…' Haley whispered softly as she fumbled with her hands nervously.

He took a chance glancing at her and that was a mistake, she was standing there in his shirt post sex. Oh fuck, someone has got to be punishing me.

'What do you want Haley?' He mumbled into the dark.

'You.' She replied easily. 'Nathan please….'

'Please what Haley?' He interrupted her harshly.

'Just don't do this….shut me out or whatever this is…'

Nathan just scoffed at that shaking his head at her words. 'I told you I was in love with you and you kicked me out Haley. I didn't shut you out.'

'Yea after I found out you lied to me for years.' Haley said watching as he pulled himself up into a sitting position on the couch with fire in his eyes at her words.

'And the one time I was purely honest with you….you ran away..' He spat back harshly at her.

'That's not fair.' Haley retorted.

'You wanna talk about fair Haley….what's not fair is fucking off to San Francisco and then getting a phone call to say you're not ever coming back here…you didn't even have the guts to do that in person!'

'I couldn't I'm sorry…'

'You know all day before I saw you I was thinking of all the things I could say to hurt you like the way you've hurt me..'

'I am hurting Nathan.' Haley said sadly. 'I know you think I don't feel the same way about you…'

'Don't.' Nathan cut her off not wanting to hear it, he didn't want to hear her say she loved him just because he said it first when it was very clear to him that she didn't. 'Ever hear the term actions speak louder than words…'

'You're really going to hold me leaving against me when you told a lie for 4 years and expected me to just get over it the night I found out…'

'I didn't expect you to just get over it but I expected you to stay so that we could figure it out…together.'

'I had to get away…it wasn't just from you Nathan, from all of it…my family, the lies..'

'Yea the lie that you told for that stupid wedding' He couldn't help but retort bitterly.

'I know…' Haley whispered brokenly. 'I wish I hadn't…'

''Hadn't what?' Nathan interrupted her and she glanced up surprised at the cutting tone of his voice. 'Hadn't of got me to come over there and do that for you…..none of this would have happened then….I wouldn't have fallen in love with you right?'

'Nathan I didn't meant it like that…' Haley began as she left the doorway going over towards the couch, she tried to climb into his arms but he pushed her away as he stood up angrily. 'Of course you mean it like that because you never said it back Haley.'

His words had her closing her tear-stained eyes before she opened them again watching as he stood breathing heavily looking out their bayview window at the city below them.

'Nathan…I'

'No…' He interrupted her as he turned around and she could see the moisture pooling in his eyes, a devastating mirror image of her own. 'I think you should go.' He said repeating the very same words she had said to him that night.

He turned away from her again as the unpleasant silence practically screamed from their apartment walls, its agony telling them both that this, whatever it was, was in fact over.

He practically shuddered feeling her soft hand come up to graze his stubbled cheek as she left a soft, lingering kiss there. 'I've always loved you.' Haley whispered softly kissing him again before she pulled away from him completely.

Haley went back into his bedroom tossing off his shirt as she found her clothes and began placing them on herself rather slowly…hoping, just hoping he would run after her and they could make this alright. But she heard no movement and she realised that perhaps her actions had broken him more than she ever thought they could.

She had been selfish leaving the way she did just like he had been selfish when he kept her here all those years ago. But his selfishness was to keep her with him whereas her own has pushed him away and she wondered if he could see that now as an act of dismissal, that she didn't love him at all or need him when it was in fact the opposite. She had been running from herself, from the truth for a very long time maybe ever since that moment they shared in his car two weeks after Karen had passed away.

But she was done with running. And maybe Nathan didn't want her here right now maybe his wall was too damn high for her to get around his heart right now but she would do her best to break it.

She had _years_ of friendship on her side, _their friendship_ and at time she knew him better than he knew himself.

If anyone was able to break through his guarded pretence it would be her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Back with an update thanks as always for all your reviews and messages on this story so far, I love reading them. :) **

**Chapter 18 **

'Rise and shine heart-breaker.'

Haley gave Brooke a glare as she dragged herself up into a sitting position on the couch taking the cup of gloriously smelling coffee off her. 'I'm glad you find my mess of a life so amusing.'

'What I find amusing is how you seem to do the exact opposite of what you know you need to do.' Brooke teased.

'Brooke…' Haley began.

'Why didn't you tell him you loved him….I mean it's obvious as clear as day you're going around like a love-sick puppy but boys are clueless girlie…they need it spelt out for them.'

'I am not going around like a love-sick puppy.' Haley refuted for Brooke to just smirk at her knowingly. She sighed then. 'I just…I couldn't Brooke he just didn't want to hear it, I guess he'd feel like I was just saying it because he did.'

'Which you know is not true.'

Haley just nodded.

'So tell him that.' Brooke exasperated.

'How? Because believe me I tried and he won't hear it, he's as defensive as the Berlin wall…'

'Which fell down….or was knocked…whatever History isn't my thing.' Brooke faffed on and Haley couldn't help but smile. 'The point is girlie you have to get up off your ass and start knocking down that wall.'

'He won't listen to me, the least I can do is give him space he did give me…'

'Oh no, no, no…the last thing either of you need is space.' Brooke said and then her eyes lit up and Haley looked at her with a sense of dread.

'What are you plotting?' She mumbled hesitantly.

'If you guys can't talk about it right now the least you can do is show him.' Brooke said with a teasing glint in her eye. 'And that means Haley being around him 24/7…'

'Oh no…' Haley fought back quickly. 'You promised me I could stay here for a few days besides Peyton is….'

'Peyton is about to get her skinny ass out of your apartment….you're not staying here Haley.'

Haley gasped at her friend. 'You're kidding right?'

'No I'm doing your sad, mopey ass a favour.'

'Brooke….think about this, it's not fair to Nathan me just showing up again after all this time and being in his face like that.'

'Your name is on the contract Haley; he knew you were coming back sometime..'

'I told him I wasn't coming back…' Haley mumbled.

'Well maybe you're back because you love him and if he doesn't want to hear that you're just going to have to have him see your pretty face every day before he can't keep up the pretence anymore…'

'I don't know Brooke..'

'You got any other genius ideas aside from hanging out here and catching glances at him from a distance? No..didn't think so.' Brooke quipped confidently. 'Now get up and get dressed. '

'Why can't I wallow here for a little while?' Haley pouted.

'Cause we've got plans….mission get you two friendly-lovers whatever you are back together.'

'Brooke…' Haley warned.

'Trust me on this one.'

**XXXXX**

'Wow you look like ass..' Lucas said as his younger brother opened the door to him still dressed in his boxers and grey t-shirt from the night before, his hair completely askew.

'You say that every day to me Luke.'

'I stopped saying it about 6 weeks ago when pulled yourself together.' Luke teased but they both knew this was no laughing matter.

Nathan flopped down on the couch in their living room where his pillow still was. 'I slept with Haley last night.'

Lucas smirked knowingly. 'I see and I take it from this empty apartment that didn't end well.'

Nathan just shrugged. 'It was a mistake.'

'Which time?'

Nathan glared at him then and Lucas just threw his hands up. 'I'm kidding Jesus.'

'Sex has always been easy for us you know…'

'It usually is the easier part.' Lucas said.

'Anyway she wanted to talk to me after it….she was upset and I just I couldn't handle it Luke I didn't want to hear some half-assed apology or love you two it all just felt strained.'

'But when you slept together it didn't?'

'Never does.' Nathan said easily.

'Shouldn't that be your answer?' Lucas said.

Nathan just shrugged. 'I don't know….she said she's always loved me before she left.' He sat in silence then for a few moments. 'But what does that even mean…as a friend what? That's just made me even more annoyed.' He stopped his rambling then noticing Lucas chuckling a little.

'Well I'm glad you find this so funny Mr. I got engaged last week and my life is a fairy tale.'

'OH come on you have to admit this is kind of funny…..I've never seen you like this.'

'What losing my mind…in a constant slump because I don't really find it funny Lucas I just want it to stop and go back to normal.'

'No..in love.' Lucas said reminding him. 'I'm afraid you can't go back to normal Nate, what you and Haley have is certainly not normal anyway I've always thought that.'

'I just miss her Luke; I miss having my best friend around. So much so I've had to resort to chatting with you.'

Lucas clocked him across the head for that. 'Ass. At least there is some fight left in you.'

'I'm done fighting.' Nathan said resignedly. 'I just want to move on, at least she'll be gone it's easier when she's not here.'

'you're and idiot if you believe yourself.'

'I have to, it's the only way.' Nathan said as she pulled himself off from the couch. 'Now can we make a deal not to talk about my situation for the rest of the ay which shouldn't be too hard considering you two are checking out wedding spots already…'

'It's only because there is a wedding show on and Brooke though it would be a nice way to cap off our engagement weekend.' Lucas said smirking inwardly at Nathan's words, this day was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

'And you need me with you why?'

'You're my best man.' Lucas said as if that answer just worked for all wedding related questions from now on, Nathan rolled his eyes realising that was just the case.

'I always thought you'd get married in Tree Hill Luke.' Nathan said as he drank straight from the carton of orange in the fridge.

'We're just getting idea come on get showered I don't fancy going to this place smelling like ass.'

**XXXXX**

Nathan and Lucas walked through the grounds of the Queens Botanical Garden, its gravel pathways lined with abundant cherry blossoms creating a swirling romantic pattern of pink and purple hues against the summer blue sky. They came towards the equally enchanting country house then as Lucas pulled out his phone. 'Shit its Brooke I think she's lost.'

'Again?' Nathan said with an eye roll. He couldn't believe he'd rushed out of his apartment for this.

'The ground are massive.' Lucas said. 'Here you go in and give our names just make sure they know we're coming I don't want to miss the tour.'

Nathan rolled his eyes but continued on towards the country house regardless. This was the last place he wanted to be today surrounded by love-sick couples. He stepped inside the bustling reception area where an array of different wedding carts with various flowers and colours were centred around. His confusion must have spoken volumes as a friendly lady came up towards him. 'Hello, I'm Florence, the resident wedding planner here are you booked in for the show?'

'Ah yea ma'am its Lucas actually my bro…'

'Oh Lucas Brooke is just over here..'

Nathan crossed his eyes at that. What the hell? How had Brooke got inside the damn house and Luke had lost her. The lady led him over then and he stared wide-eyed at the supposed Brooke in front of him. And damn did she look hot standing there in white denim shorts with a light denim tube top, her brunette hair down in beach waves. _Holy shit._ 'That's just great we were waiting on you two I know Brooke told me you had your engagement party last night and you just booked here last minute but you're going to love it.' The lady beamed unaware of the current tension passing between Nathan and Haley.

'Come right along the wedding tour is about to start just follow me this way…'

Nathan and Haley found themselves shuffling along amongst the other couples.

'What is going on?' Nathan whispered harshly in her ear. 'Is this some game Haley?'

She was put out by his assumption and rolled her eyes. 'No Nathan it's not my game…its Brooke's game or Lucas for that matter she told me to come with her today.'

'And Lucas said I had to come because I was the best man.' Nathan gritted out. 'Fucking unbelievable.'

'Well you watch your mouth.' Haley gritted out beside him ad they found themselves in a large open dining room as Florence began explaining this is where the dinner would be served. She was blabbering away about different styles for the room when Nathan pulled back grimacing at the crowd in behind them. 'I need to get out of here I'm going to kill Lucas.'

Haley grabbed on his arm harshly. 'You're not making a scene.'

'Try and stop me.'

'Nathan..' Haley said digging her nails into his arms and he cried out earning a few curious looks from their neighbouring couples. 'Don't you dare embarrass me.'

'You always cared too much about what people thought.' He mumbled under his breath and she just kicked him in the shin then.

'Look they paid money for this so we may as well go through with it maybe even get some idea for them it's the least we can do for them putting up with us.' She relaxed a little then as she felt Nathan relax beside her, his urge to bolt not so strong.

She couldn't believe Brooke, when she said she had an idea Haley wasn't expecting this. She wasn't so sure about it considering it was a couple's taste tester of a wedding that was bound to bring up everything her and Nathan wanted to avoid. But maybe this would in fact crumble those walls a little. They were stuck here now so she was going to try even if his attitude was surlier than ever.

Nathan felt Haley link her arm through his as her nails scraped slowly against his elbow, he was hating himself for wearing a short shirt right now. 'What are you doing?' He whispered to her not wanting to draw any more attention to him.

'I'm just standing with my finance..' Haley quipped back and Nathan glanced at the little smirk on her face.

'This isn't funny Haley cut it out.'

'Cut what out…'

'Rubbing my arm…' He gritted out.

'Oh come on I could rub you in worse places..' She teased as she discreetly reached behind her cupping him through his khaki short pants which in fact had teasingly thin material.

Nathan jerked back holding in the moan. He couldn't believe she just did that. 'You're a real bitch you know that.'

A smaller lady who seemed to be assisting Florence approached them then. 'So would the happy couple like to dance?'

Nathan just smiled tightly at her as Haley asked if they were actually practicing dancing today.

'It's just for a little fun and to give you the whole experience, we're splitting the group in half so your side will be going to the ballroom now….oh it's just magical.'

Nathan and Haley passed through the hallway to the large ballroom but taking a moment to set their own grievances aside as they took it in, standing there open mouthed taking in all its splendour and glory.

'Oh wow it's like something from the 18th century still…it's amazing.'

The woman chuckled knowingly at the awe on Haley's face.

'I'm sorry I was a History nerd.'

Nathan found himself smiling at that despite himself but quickly bit his lip alarmed at how easy it was to slip back into their roles.

'That is quiet ok this place always has this reaction.'

'So have you two worked out your first dance song yet? You know how some couples have their song…' She said eyes twinkling.

Haley's eyes immediately sought Nathan's then catching the crestfallen look on his face and she straight away he was thinking of that moment as well in the car.

_Ed Sheeran's Give me Love. _

Haley actually felt her eyes get teary and tried to pull herself out of her stupor catching the woman's curious face. 'we have….its um very personal we won't share until the day itself.' She tried to say kindly.

The woman nodded knowingly. 'Ah that is special. Well how about you pretend its playing and have a practice with all the other couples…'

A pianist was playing at the end of the large halls where some of the couples had actually gotten up to have a dance.

Haley was surprised when Nathan didn't throw her a dirty look or tell her no way in hell, instead his much larger hand grasped her petite one was he pulled her out onto the floor.

'You ok?' Haley said softly as her hand rubbed his shoulder.

He just nodded not trusting himself to speak and she knew his mind had gone there and it pained her too thinking about how blissfully unaware they were in that moment just moments away from tragedy. As she watched him she just wanted to kiss him so badly.

Instead Haley let her head fall against his chest listening to the sound of his heart beating so wildly. She loved that sound.

They danced around in slow circles and for a moment it felt like all their grievances were cast aside in that magical ballroom.

'I'm sorry about last night…' Haley whispered against his chest and she didn't really know what she was apologising for, maybe expecting too much from him to soon. 'I'm sorry about a lot of things.' She said as she held him that little bit tighter.

Nathan felt his heart rate rise in his chest and he was sure Haley could feel it too. 'Me too.' He said so quietly she was sure she imagined it.

'Ok men on one side of the room and your beautiful fiancés on the other' Florence's overly exuberant voice bellowed out across the room breaking the moment between Nathan and Haley. Haley took a cautious glance at Nathan as they separated out and she sighed to herself, his face was like a complete mask again, completely impenetrable. Florence was walking down between the row of them then talking about various dances some brides choose to do here or something like that, Haley found herself distracted glancing at Nathan standing there in khaki shorts and a white shirt with short sleeves he looked so damn sexy and she didn't know when she began to look at her best friend in that way, most likely since they started sleeping together but it's like he was getting more attractive looking with each passing day and it was torturous.

It's not like she was blind Nathan had always being good looking, she's especially noticed in her teenage years but its like she had marked him as forbidden territory and now well now she just wanted to jump in in this very room. Surely that wouldn't be frowned upon….they were all couples about to get married right?

'Haley….Haley.'

Haley jolted out of her reverie noticing Nathan who had not stepped back towards her looking at her rather surly. 'Come on their showing us outside.' He clipped out.

Haley looped her arms through his before he pulled away from her entirely and she caught the look he gave her but she ignored it. The other lady helping Florence approached them. 'Lucas and Brooke….' She said and the pair just looked on dumbly for a minute before realising.

'Oh yea….um sorry..' Haley said taking the bate for the two of them as Nathan seemed to have gone mute.

'Just come this way you'll be with Gerard and Lucy we're going to break off for a tour of the gardens if you just follow on down that way…'

'Hi guys…I'm Lucy and this is my fiancé…..fiancé come here..' She squealed out at him.

Nathan and Haley exchanged glanced at that one before she looked back to them introducing the pair of them.

'Hi, I'm Brooke and this is….Lucas.' Haley said shaking her head at the bizarre situation they had found themselves in.

'You know the tour is lovely and all but we really, really just wanted to get talking to other couples you know get some idea…' The girl clapped her hands a little overtly excited.

Nathan groaned inwardly to himself, of course they'd get stuck with the crazy couple and from the looks of it her finance was just as bad as he laughed around with her.

'Only the best for my childhood sweetheart.' Gerard said as he kissed her neck.

Oh god kill me now. Haley tensed at his words grimacing as he fondled her so overtly right in front of them.

Nathan felt Haley tense beside him, in any ordinary situation he would have found some enjoyment in this knowing how much she despised such overt pda but he felt awkward himself. 'Wow and I thought Brooke and Lucas were too much.' Nathan mumbled disgusted.

'Shh we are Brooke and Lucas remember?' Haley nudged him.

'How could I forget?' Nathan quipped sarcastically.

Haley cleared her throat awkwardly.

'Oh…' Lucy pulled away giggling like a silly schoolgirl. 'I'm sorry we just can't keep our hands off each other.'

'Aww neither can we…' Haley practically spat back as she practically gripped the back of Nathan's neck pulling him down she kissed him roughly.

He outright refused to kiss her back like this, he didn't want to but Haley practically forced her tongue into his mouth and he was a goner as soon as he tasted her. And as always his rational mind was slipping form him as her touch, her familiar taste and just everything about her consumed him. Haley whimpered as Nathan began kissing her back with even more force until the pair of them heard the wolf whistling beside them….

'Phew you two are gonna give us a run for our money I thought we were bad honey.' Gerard teased her as his hands wrapped around her waist.

Nathan and Haley broke away breathless seemingly transfixed by each other.

'So what's your story?' Lucy said they began walking down the path Florence sent them.

'We were friends going up…' Haley answered vaguely.

'Ah cute that's like me and Gerard best friends actually we kind of denied it for years like a pair of idiots…'

'So what changed?' Haley found herself asking.

'Nothing really….that's just it, nothing changed its always easier when your friends you know…it's the most amazing feeling in the world when your best friends and in love.'

Haley felt Nathan shove her arm from where it was linked with his and she let it fall to her side. She took a glance at him and could see his jaw was clenched.

'So are you thinking of having a wedding in a place like here?' Haley asked then swiftly moving that topic of conversation along.

It felt like they were walking for a long time as they followed the pathway through the estate, an array of beautiful foliage adorning their way. They finally came upon a beautiful white carousel frame which housed white chairs inside with beautiful lace ribbons. The whole area was designed for an outdoor wedding.

'Wow this is beautiful.' Haley said fingering the golden light that frayed the edges of the tent.

Lucy and Gerard had gone way ahead to the front now holding hands as Nathan and Haley stayed behind.

'You could talk a little you know they think you're mute.'

'I've nothing to say.' Nathan supplied.

'It wouldn't hurt to be nice to them.'

'It just might.'

Haley sighed heavily. He was just impossible. 'Nathan please just don't make this anymore tense than it has to be.'

'So would you two like something like this?' Lucy said as the pair of them walked down to where Nathan and Haley were.

'Nah Brooke here she wants something big a lavish this just wouldn't cut it.'

Haley had to hold back the gasp at his words, she actually couldn't believe the nerve of him. He was saying he exact opposite of what she would wish for and he knew it, she could tell by the smug look on his face as he looked back at her. And he didn't stop there. 'We're talking Europe, a huge estate manor….a tent twice the size of this, only the best to impress your mother huh darling?'

He was mocking her in the mot spiteful way. But she wasn't going to crack, not like this. It was going to take a lot more to break her. 'Well you would know honey seen as you two are like best pals, they're always conjuring up little secrets behind my back…' She said to the couple snidely then as she glanced back at Nathan noticing all the smugness wiped off his face.

The couple glance between the two then rather wearily and Haley could tell they needed to undo some damage, well more so Nathan's damage. 'Family huh….?' She tried to joke lightly.

'They definitely can be the hardest part to all of this.' Gerard said. 'Anyways we're gonna take a look around here I think the rest of the day is pretty much free for us to have a wander around.'

'Sure it was nice meeting you guys.' Nathan offered then. 'Haley….' He called out to her then watching as she was just about to storm off.

'What could you possibly have to say now?' She clipped at him and he swallowed his words noticing she seemed much angrier than he had expected her to be. 'You want to know you reminded me of today?'

He wasn't sure he did.

'Lucas…our junior year when he was a dick. Who would have thought you two would swap personalities?' She sneered at him.

'Haley wait….' Nathan paced after her until he got in front of her effectively stopping her from walking any further. 'Look this is why I didn't want to be around you today because I can't help but hurt you and I don't want to….I just…'

'You're going to ruin us..' She emphasised. 'God Nathan we should have had such a laugh today together taking the piss out of all of this…'

'It's not really a piss take anymore is it Haley?' He said meaningfully and she knew exactly what his words meant.

Love had complicated their friendship, it had taken it, rattled it, broken it and she was wondering if they could ever go back to how things used to be.

'I really miss you Nathan.' She said softly.

'Please don't…'

'What? I can't say I miss you now? I know you missed me…I could feel it when you kissed me last night.' She admitted as she walked over to him then grazing her finger across his stubble, watching as his eyes closed, his breathing became shallower. She stood on her tiptoes then meeting his lips in a gentle kiss again, testing him, opening her mouth across his she didn't push for tongue just kissed him languidly. She moaned deeply as she felt his tongue pushing into her mouth still keeping that same slow, sensual pace. God he was going so deep and so slowly inside her mouth, he tasted so damn good she felt the anticipation swirling within her from this kiss alone.

And then she lost him as he pulled back looking rather regretful and she hated that he felt that way.

'I should….I should go.' He mumbled to her before turning on his heel and walking away from her.

Haley brought her hand to her tingling lips as she watched him go. Maybe, just maybe she had begun to break through his walls after all.

**XXXXX**

'I could kill you for that you know?' Haley blew out through the phone. 'I'm pretty sure Nathan is doing the same thing to Lucas right about now.'

'Well look at least it's something you can bond over…'

'Brooke this isn't funny….sending us both to a wedding fair above anything do you really think that's what we needed to be surrounded by today?'

'Actually yes, I think you both needed a dose of cold heart truth so you could get past your shit.'

'Yea well that didn't exactly work.'

'You kissed didn't you?'

'Wha….how do you even…..no we didn't.' Haley sputtered pathetically.

'Oh you so did….' Brooke squealed.

Haley flopped back on her bed.

'So how is he about having you over?'

'I just showed up with my bags and he wasn't impressed , angry Nathan has left the building and now I'm dealing with detached, I don't care Nathan…'

'And you know what we do to a guy like that…'

'No but I'm sure you'll enlighten me.'

'Wear your sexiest loungewear….make him want you.'

Haley scoffed. 'Brooke that's what got us into this mess.'

'Yea but you didn't realise it when you started this whole thing, having sex pretending you don't love someone is a whole different ball game….that will crack him real fast or maybe it will crack both of you..'

Haley shook her head at her friend's words. 'I don't know…' She sighed grimacing as she heard Nathan shouting on the phone. 'Oh he's eating Lucas' head off I'm pretty sure.

'Oh god I'm gonna get an earful aren't I?'

'Pretty much.' Haley agreed.

'I better go and Haley maybe you don't want to sex it up completely but you know, wear the pjs at least with the lace trim and show some leg….that will really get hi…'

'Night Brooke…' Haley said with a playful eye roll as she cut her off before she could hear anymore.

She lay there for the longest while glancing around her room smiling as she noticed the shelfing unit Nathan had put up for her when she stayed back home after her dad's heart attack. She realised then it had been almost 7 months since she was back in this room. She thought she would feel stranger being back here, that feeling like didn't belong which always seemed to follow her around but she was beginning to realise as she stopped running from herself that feeling too disappeared because she belonged with him. She just had to show him that. Haley glanced down at her suitcase laying strewn open on the floor noting the lacey pjs she had worn at Brooke's, so what maybe she could cheat a little. And these were modest enough that they wouldn't cause that much of a reaction, or any considering the way things were currently.

Nathan almost dropped the bottle of water out of his hands when Haley casually walked into the kitchen in a mint cream kami top with emerald green lace trim and matching pj shorts; it was the perfect mix of alluringly sexy and pure and holy Jesus…her legs. Nathan closed his eyes willing the images out of his head of how those legs felt wrapped around him last night digging against him, pushing him further inside….opening his eyes trying to shake those intruding thoughts away Nathan backed into the refrigerator door he had assumingly left open.

'Mother fu….' He cursed to himself as he stubbed his toe on it causing Haley to glance at his curiously.

'Everything ok?'

He just glared at her before storming out of the kitchen forgetting about the fact that he'd actually come in there to make food.

Haley frowned after him wondering if he was really just that pissed off by her mere presence tonight, if so what she had planned for them was going to be a complete failure. Seconds later the doorbell rang and Haley bounced out quickly grabbing the pizza delivery ignoring the guys prying eyes. Ok maybe these aren't so modest.

Haley came into the living room where Nathan was watching some game on ESPN, he looked so adorable lounging there in his basketball shorts and white t-shirt. She found has ridiculously handsome he looked all dressed up last night this was actually her favourite look on him.

'What's that?' He asked stupidly as Haley propped down on the couch beside him.

'I got some pizza.' She said trying not to make a big deal of it as she dropped down beside him wrapping her knees under herself.

'We can't just go back to the way things were Haley…' Nathan pointed out.

'Why not? What's stopping us from being even better than we were before?'

He sighed softly, he didn't want to get angry with her again, he was tired of fighting. 'Why are you doing this?'

She couldn't miss the vulnerability in his tone which was unusual for him he always did his best to hide it. 'Because I'm not going anywhere Nathan, not this time.'

She could tell he wasn't allowing her words to settle with him, he was shielding himself. But it was only the first night and she was going to be patient, she knew she needed to wait until things had thawed between them a bit until she really dug deep into her soul and admitted to him things she had repressed for far too long.

Haley glanced at her phone seeing the incoming message from Brooke as she relaxed back into the couch.

'Make sure you stretch your legs out in front of him…maybe even massage some lotion in ;)' '

Haley shook her head as she read the message tossing her phone away, her friend really was terrible…now she was thinking terrible thoughts about him rubbing the lotion into her legs and how amazing that would feel, his calloused, warm hands. 'Fuck…' Haley mumbled to herself as she fidgeted on the couch clearly working herself up.

Nathan looked at her curiously before he turned back to the game with not a care in the world.

And she hated that how he seemed to be so unaffected, could he really shut off his desires alongside his emotions? Because her body didn't seem to have an off button. Haley sighed stretching her legs out regardless, maybe just maybe his hands would rub up the anyway….wishful thinking you idiot.

Nathan felt her toes hit against his tight softly before she pulled them away as though she hadn't meant to do that and he glanced across at her quickly hating himself for doing that because damn her enticing legs were just there in front of him and he wanted to trail his hands up right to her centre like he did last night and feel how fucking wet she was for him. Nathan had to actually bite back a moan at the thoughts going through his head and exert extra effort into focusing on the basketball game or at this stage he'd have to get a pillow to hide his obvious yearning for her.

And he had wanted her back here for so long and now he was thinking this was worst possible position to be in. He thought blocking his feelings away was going to be a hard feat but fighting this innate pull, yearning and lust for her was going to drive him insane.

And he told himself he wouldn't do, he wasn't going to sleep with her again, not like this when everything between them was even more convoluted that it had been when they had initially started this thing. Running his hand through his hair frustratedly Nathan got up from the couch rather quickly not even caring about the stupid game anymore.

'Are you going?' Haley said flinching at how needy she sounded.

'Yea I'm going to bed Haley…'

'Ok.' She said softly as she stood up from the couch too. 'Here you stay I'll go into the room.' She said actually feeling bad for making him feel that uncomfortable he was about to forfeit watching the match which Nathan never did.

'No it's fine I'm up early in the morning.' She watched him shuffle a little as he stared at the floor, god he wouldn't even look at her now.

'Nathan you never miss a match like ever…'

'I guess I've changed.' He said with a shrug before he left and continued on down the hall. Seconds later she heard his door shut and she sighed softly to herself glancing around at the vacant space around her feeling incredibly lost.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi guys thanks so much for your reviews and messages for this story, there just a couple more chapters to go in this story, I had initially planned to Chapter 20 but I guess these characters have a little more to say ;) ****Enjoy the update. **

**Chapter 19**

'I did warn you that you're going to have to sex it up..'

'And I told you for the millionth time that sex is what caused all our problems in the first place.' Haley said into the phone as she came in dropping her satchel bag on the bed along with herself. 'I'm back working Brooke so that's got to count for something right…'

'Yea but I guess if its supply work you're doing its very easy to up and leave…'

'I'm not going to.' Haley said.

'I know that but Nathan doesn't you're really going to have sit his ass down Haley and tell him exactly how you feel, lay it out on the table…what's it been two weeks since you got back.'

'He's gone all the time Brooke…like purposefully gone I swear he trains harder now for basketball than he did in college and that's saying a lot.'

'So he's avoiding you, well he must have picked that up from his brother, Lucas does it all the time.'

Haley sneezed then as she sighed into the phone. 'Ugh I feel terrible.'

'You're stressing way too much over Nathan, your job…everything, how about you come over here we can binge watch some terrible reality tv and not talk about boys.'

'It sounds dreamy Brooke but I think I'm just going to have a nap..'

'Naked and over the covers.'

'Brooke…' Haley countered smiling despite herself.

'Just an idea. Ok chat later girlie I'll be here vegging out if you're still feeling bad' She offered.

'Thanks Brooke..' Haley said as she tossed her phone beside her feeling completely drained.

Nathan slipped into the apartment dropping his gear bag by the door noticing it was shrouded in darkness at near 9pm. He came into the kitchen then flicking on the light as he pulled open the fridge door and downed a bottle of Gatorade. He knew he was possibly pushing it too hard in the gym and at basketball training but it was the only thing that helped him right now; helped keep his mind off her and from missing her even though she was only a few feet away.

Haley had been back 2 weeks now and not much had changed; he'd actually being out of New York with work and was surprised when he came home to still find her here. Maybe she was actually staying but he felt like he was just stuck at a standstill with that one; reluctant to let her in and missing her all the same. He missed their banter, their Friday night movies, Saturday mornings in the farmers market, cooking together, playing silly card games while drinking themselves silly on a midweek night. It was a double whammy suffering the loss of their friendship as well as their intimacy.

And just like that she padded into the kitchen and he had to let it in, if only for a moment, he wanted to see her and though she'd never believe it with the way he was acting right now this was the perfect end to this extremely long day.

'Hey…' Nathan said quietly as he put the Gatorade back into the fridge turning away from her. God did he long to go back to a time where he didn't wish to kiss her every moment he saw her.

'Hi..' Haley said gently smiling a little. _Well that's a first_. Usually she had to initiate the conversation. It was something so small that instantly perked up her which her body needed. She'd woken up from her nap wondering had that been a mistake, her body was shivering yet her forehead was all sticky and she felt completely out of sorts.

'Are you ok?' Nathan said eying her as she swiped her hand across her forehead closing her eyes.

'Yea…' She tried miserably. 'Am I think I've picked up a bug off those kids..' Haley tried to play it off but could she really see the concern shining in his eyes? She figured she was running a temperature and imagining things.

'When did that come on you?' He said as he stuck the toast in the toaster.

'Just there this evening I went for a nap and woke up feeling worse.' Haley mumbled as she took a sip of water feeling a shiver run through her.

'You want some toast? I'm making some.'

Haley nodded with a small smile and watched him slide more into the toaster. This was nice, even if he was just taking pity on her it was nice.

'So you're back playing basketball…' She said softly to him.

Nathan leaned back against the counter crossing his arm over his chest. 'Yea…eh I've joined the local team actually me and Lucas..'

'That's good Nathan you always loved it.' Haley said as they caught each other's gaze before quickly glancing away.

Nathan cleared his throat saying nothing more as he began buttering the popped toast. He handed it over to her while he snapped the kettle on to boil. She couldn't help but think it was just the most comforting and nicest toast ever because he made it for her and she knew that was pathetic but didn't care. A few minutes later he left a cup of hot lemon beside her before sitting down in the stool adjacent to her eating his own toast.

They ate in silence but for once it wasn't a tense as it had been between them the last while. She was grateful for the reprieve.

'My dad has his 6-month check-up this weekend, he has to go in for a full screening.'

'How is he doing?' Nathan asked.

'Good, mum has him doing cardio sessions now on the cross if you'd believe it?'

Nathan let out a small laugh at that and it warmed her heart. 'I'll bet he loves that.'

'He's lost a good bit of weight it suits him.'

'I'm glad Haley at least he's making those changes himself you know.'

'I guess.' Haley agreed.

Nathan pulled back then all too soon as he went over to the tap washing out his plate. He turned around then noticing her shiver a little as she sipped on her hot lemon.

'You should probably stay at home tomorrow..'

'I don't know if I can I'm only back after my leave…' Haley mumbled.

'Well you're not going to be much good to the kids if you're like that Hales.'

The way her nickname flowed off his tongue so effortlessly made her smile despite how cold and shaky she was feeling.

He walked out and came back in seconds later with her favourite sweatshirt of his handing it to her.

'Here. Put this on.' He said and she took it gratefully from him slipping it over her body immediately feeling its warm and his smell surround her.

'Thanks.' Haley mumbled shyly, a far cry from the usual way she'd steal his shirt and run away from him.

'Look I'm beat….' He hesitated a little then. 'But if you need anything….'

'Sure..' Haley said softly putting him out of his misery, she could kind of tell he didn't want to say it yet there was no way if hiding his concern for her. He did seem worried. 'Thanks Nathan.' He gave her a small smile before going down to his room and she missed him instantly.

**XXXXX**

It was around 7.05 a.m. when she heard the knock on her door. 'Hmm…' Haley mumbled coming out of her sleep to find her all body covered in a sheen of sweat, every part of her felt like it was on fire and yet as she moved under the sheets she shivered.

She could hear him stepping into the room then as she came out of her sleep feeling completely disorientated.

Little did she know he had actually snuck in to check on her twice during the night and he had a pretty good feeling she wouldn't be leaving this bed today, she looked even sicker than last night right now.

'Nathan…' Haley choked out miserably. She was vaguely aware of his hand feeling her sticky forehead then.

'You've a temperature…' He said as he sat down on the bed beside her.

'Yea I think I was raving in my sleep.' Haley mumbled. 'Oh god what time is it?' She tried to sit up then closing her eyes at the sudden sense of vertigo.

'It's just after 7…' He said softly watching her face contort. 'Oh god I've to be…'

'Haley I really don't think you'll make work today.' Nathan hedged. 'Where is your phone?'

'Nathan I can't I'm only back…I actually can't..'

'You're not going to be able to walk from this bed to the front door so you definitely won't be able to teach, where's your phone?'

'Bedside table under all the gross tissues…sorry.' She mumbled as she sunk back down onto her pillow again.

That got a small smile on his face as he rummaged for it before taking it and leaving the room.

She was dozing when she heard him come in sometime later. 'Ok I rang your principal said you're very ill she was really nice about it..'

'You didn't have to do that.' Haley mumbled feeling even more in love with him than she knew possible, now was really not the time to tell him that but she wanted to. He'd probably tell her she was raving.

'What or risk you going in there and collapsing….here take these.' He said handing her 3 types of tablets with a glass of orange.

She didn't question them just knocked them back before sinking underneath the covers again.

'Ok Haley I know you're very comfy under there but I'm going to move you into my bed and take these covers and give them a wash..'

'No then you'll get sick I can't go near your room Nathan..' She mumbled stubbornly.

'Haley I'm pretty sure if I'm to get it I will.' He said. 'Here do you think you can get up and then you can get into my bed?' He pulled back the covers gently and she grimaced at the waft of cold air sending her body into a shiver even though she had sweat through the sheets.

'This is gross I'm sorry.'

'Hales you remember the day dad found us on the beach…'

She scowled as she slowly sat up. 'That's not really going to make me feel better.' She grimaced thinking back to how Dad had made Nathan clean up her mess.

'I'm just saying I've handled a lot worse.' He teased his hand coming to rest on her shoulder as she stood up and he handed her fresh pjs.

She wobbled into the bathroom then swiftly changing before sitting down on the toilet seat when she felt weak. Nathan came in then glancing at her worriedly. 'I think I'll call Peyton.' He said.

'Oh no…please don't she's going to an art exhibition today and I really don't want to ruin that for her…'

'Ok don't panic it's just a thought I don't want you here on your own.'

'Nathan I'm ill not dying.'

'Well you look…'

She gave him a pointe look then and he smiled sheepishly. 'Sorry I'm worried that's all.'

'And I love you for that but really once I get back into bed and sleep this off I'll be fine it's probably some 24-hour thing…'

He didn't want to get to caught up in the casual way she said those words but it still made his belly flip-flop. 'Ok' He gave in not wholly wanting to. Haley went into his room as he stripped her sheets and threw them in the washing machine alongside her pjs. He strolled back into his bedroom then noticing she was already tucked in under the covers asleep. Nathan left a few more of the magic pills by the dresser for her as well as some hot lemon in a flask. He stared down at her peaceful sleeping form before leaving a gentle kiss on her head and leaving the room.

**XXXXX**

'Hey girlie I come bringing goods…'

'He called you..' Haley said as she pulled her heavy body into a sitting position on the bed.

'What is with this apartment and people in it greeting me with scowls on their faces.' Peyton teased.

'I'm sorry I knew you had that exhibition..'

'Which I'm currently on the way too so I thought I'd pop in. By the way Nathan rang wondering what magazines to get you cause he said you only read books usually and he was all in a tizzy it was actually kind of sweet.'

Haley smiled at that.

'Oh you are so gone on him aren't you Haley?' She mused.

'Yea a little too soon to joke about I think.' Haley said softly just as Peyton dropped some magazines by her bed.

'Thanks for stopping by you didn't have to though I really don't want you catching this.'

'Ah that doesn't matter at least if I got it, it would delay me going back.' Peyton joked.

'We're going to miss having you here.' Haley said.

'Yea I like this city Hales, who knows I might decide to make it home.'

'would Jake have anything to do with that?' Haley smiled at her.

Peyton shrugged. 'Maybe, I dunno it's too early Haley…you know how all that went down with Julian.'

'Jakes not Julian though..' Haley said softly.

'Yea.' Peyton drawled. 'Anyway enough about my problems, let's talk about yours.' She grinned.

'Funny..' Haley mumbled. 'Actually today and yesterday is the most we've talked and that's only because I got ill and he had to ask if I was ok…'

'Well it's a good thing you got sick then.' Peyton mused trying to cheer her up.

'Ok I think your skinny sarcastic ass can leave now…' Haley mused as she pulled a magazine off the bedside locker.

'Well at least your spunk is still in there.' Peyton teased. 'Well I was just dropping these off I am going to take my skinny sarcastic ass to this exhibition..' She said as she hopped off the bed. 'I'll call you later you ok.'

'Bye Peyt…' Haley said with soft sigh as she dropped the magazine down, she didn't even have the concentration or the energy to read. She was about to sink under the covers again when a sudden bout of nausea hit her. 'Oh god..' She groaned as she threw back the covers and raced into Nathan's ensuite.

Nathan came in the door balancing the brown paper bag with his own take out coffee and lunch. He gave the door a light kick closed behind him as he began making his way to his bedroom. 'Haley I got….' He began only to find the bed empty, covers thrown back. He grimaced then hearing the sound of her belching.

Nathan left the lunch and stuff on his dresser as he pushed back the door to his bathroom. 'Hales…'

'Nathan don't come in here.' She moaned as her head hung over the toilet bowl.

'It's nothing I haven't seen before.' He mumbled not really caring what her orders were at the moment, if possible she looked even worse than this morning, ghastly pale.

She whimpered shivering a little as she leant over the toilet bowl.

'Were you sick before this?' He asked worried.

'Yea earlier just after Peyton left, I can't keep anything down.' She said pulling back a little when she thought it was safe to do so.

'You look nice.' Haley mumbled as she took him in standing against the doorframe in a baby blue shirt and black slacks, his tie hung loose around his shoulders.

Nathan just gave her a small smile before he crouched down beside her. 'How's the fever?'

'I thinks I've sweated it out of me because I've been in bed since Peyton left, I can't believe I slept until you got here…'

'It's only 3 Hales…'

'Nathan…did you leave work? I'm fine..'

'Well you don't seem fine and I brought you lunch although I don't think you'll want that now.'

'Thank you..' She said then as the tears welled in her eyes.

'Hey…' He cajoled her. 'It's not that big of a deal leaving early.'

'No, no it's not that…' Haley mumbled swiping at her eyes.

'What…..are you feeling that bad?'

'No…it's just everything, Peyton said you rang about the magazines.' She got out although h barely understood as she was a bubbling mess.

She seemed to be a little all over the place but he figured she was obviously a little out of sorts with feeling unwell and the medication was quiet strong. 'Come on let's get you back to bed.'

'But I'm only going to be sick again.'

'If you are I'll bring in something so you don't have to run in here. Come on your shivering.' He placed his arm around her then one arm tucking underneath her legs as he picked her up and carried her back into his room tucking her into the bed.

'Thank you I know you don't want to be around me right now.' Haley mumbled her voice muffled by the covers.

'It's not that it's….' Nathan faltered then not really sure how or what to say to anymore. This, caring for her when she wasn't feeling great, it was safe it was easy…there were things you said and did like you would for anyone that was ill. But it didn't change anything, it didn't change the fact that their friendship was in a complete shambles.

As much as it felt like it did.

'Here, get some more rest I can heat your soup up for you later.'

It was much later in the evening when Nathan slipped back into the room.

'Hey..' Haley croaked out noticing he had changed out of his work clothes into sweatpants and a long-sleeved top, his hair freshly washed. 'I know it's like may but could you pop the heat on for an hour?' Haley asked him softly as she tried to wrap the blankets tighter around herself.

'Haley I've had it on since 5…'

'Oh really..' She mumbled her teeth chattering a little.

'Are you shivering?'

'Yea crazy right I was like a sweat box last night and now it's like the north pole in here.'

Nathan hated seeing her so ill, it had been forever since either of them had a dose like this and usually Haley was a lot whinier when she was sick, instead she just seemed evaporated somewhat. It only concerned him further.

Not thinking too much about it he peeled back the covers on the other side of the bed as he hopped in beside her. 'Come here…' He said gently then tugging on her body.

'Nathan what are you….' She sighed contentedly then as he pulled her against his chest his arms snaking around her shivering form running up and down trying to generate some heat in her body.

'That better?'

'Hmm…' She whispered as she wrapped one of her arms around him holding him close.

'I'm supposed to be brining my dad to that appointment Sunday I was meant to leave for Tree Hill tomorrow.' Haley whispered against his chest.

'I don't think you're going to be better to go Haley and even If you are you should probably rest.'

'I know and I wouldn't but I promised, mum is up with Taylor the weekend and I'm pretty sure dad would only love if I couldn't go you know how he is with check-ups…'

'What about if I go..' Nathan said and Haley pulled back just enough so he could see her.

'Nathan I can't ask you to do that…'

'I don't mid besides your dad would prob be less stubborn with me…'

'Haven't you a game this weekend?'

'Just training.'

Silence fell between them then as Haley cuddled back in close to him.

'I've already made up my mind just in case you're thinking of talking me out of it.'

'Can I go with you?' Haley whispered hesitantly then.

He wasn't sure if she'd even meant for him to hear it, she sounded so uneasy just saying those words. 'Haley…'

She caught the hesitation in his tone and bit her lip. 'Nathan I know things are a mess with us right now….. it's just I'd like to come with you unless you really don't want me to…'

'It's not that its…' He paused then swallowing hard as she peeled her head away from his chest again glancing up at him.

'It's what…' She said softly her eyes beseeching his ones that seemed so lost. 'What is it?'

'It's nothing never mind you should get some sleep.'

She sighed softly not having the energy within her to push him for more, it just felt so good to be cuddling him like this again even if emotionally he was miles away from her. 'If I'm feeling better can I come?'

'If you're feeling better.'

She smiled as his words then closing her eyes listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and it wasn't long after that he joined her.

**XXXXX**

They were about an hour and a half into their long drive when he finally spoke, not that she had been counting the minutes or anything. Haley figured Nathan still wasn't 100% about her coming but she was feeling fine energy wise, there was just the lingering nausea. She didn't tell Nathan she had been sick earlier and she was really hoping her porridge wasn't about to come up over his car.

'You feeling ok?' Nathan asked not taking his eyes off the road.

'Fine.' Haley said quietly as she threw her head into a magazine hoping her face didn't give her need to barf away.

'You sure?' Nathan said a little cautiously.

'Yea Nathan, you know it's more tiredness than anything I definitely wouldn't have been able to drive.'

He nodded then accepting her words which was unlike him. He'd usually press until he got the truth out of her. Nathan could always tell, she assumed he didn't want to talk any more than was necessary. Haley let out a small sigh, god sometimes it felt like they were making no forward progress at all.

Just then Nathan's phone started ringing and he shook his head before accepting the call through the car Bluetooth speaker. Haley ducked back into her magazine while he sprouted on about some client they had coming over earlier than intended.

'Well I faxed all of that across to the San Fran office…' Nathan said wondering what the big panic was. 'Yes they have it in time.'

Haley listened squinting her eyes curiously as the woman told him that Millicent had left all the updated files on his desk. He was telling the woman she was going above and beyond her normal job and to tell her to take a break.

'Sure yea am I'll be in earlier on Monday anyway so we can go through it then,…yea.' Nathan agreed. 'Ok , thank you Charlene…bye.'

She watched as he muted the phone then intent on not taking any more calls that day.

'Who is Millicent?' Haley said curiously, she hadn't heard of her name before.

Nathan glanced at her curiously wondering why from that entire conversation she had honed in on that.'Oh am she's helping me…' Nathan said not wanting to make a big deal of it.

'Like as in an assistant…' Haley wondered.

'Well yeah kind of…'

'You got promoted?' Haley said dropping her magazine on her lap as she looked at him wide eyed with curiosity and a silver of excitement.

Nathan just nodded. 'Yea.' He mumbled and she couldn't believe how monotone that was.

'Omg Nathan that's amazing…..when?'

He should have loved how genuinely excited she was right now but it just wasn't the same. 'In March Haley.' He said really not wanting to get into this conversation now when they were both boxed off inside a car.

And her excitement died hastily as she swallowed. 'Oh…' She mumbled hating herself even more. What a stupid question. 'I wish you could have told me.'

He bit his lip from snapping at her as she shook his head. 'Well after I told you I didn't want to speak to you until you came back I kind of figured you didn't want to talk…'

Haley sighed thinking of that last phone call they'd had in February. 'I tried calling you Nathan so many times…' She said softly.

'Yea well you heard what I said.' He mumbled staring straight ahead, his gaze piercing the road, his hands clenching the wheel.

'So what your ultimatum or nothing….is that what it was?'

'Yea I mean I was just taking a page out of your book Haley because you made the decision to leave and just expected me to deal with it on your terms.'

'How many times do I have to tell you it wasn't like that?' She said defeatedly. 'God Nathan….I chose to go ok I made a mistake; I know I did and god I was an idiot I know that but I also think the time apart was necessary, things had got messy and confusing with us and…'

He scoffed bitterly interrupting her. She was basically saying him falling in love with her was one huge, giant error.

'Whatever…'

She sighed her hand coming down to rub her nauseous tummy as she gave in realising it wasn't fair on either of them to do this here and now especially when he was driving. She couldn't help it though; she was desperate to continue chipping away at those walls he'd built around her. She missed her best friend so much and hell if she never asked for anything again she just wanted him back in her life.

'Is she pretty?' Haley asked after several silent minutes.

'What?' Nathan said befuddled with the sudden change in topic 'Who?'

'Millicent…' Haley wondered curiously.

'Ah….I don't really know how to answer that….' He scrambled, yes she was pretty he realised but he didn't think of her in that light. Especially seen as he'd set her up with his friend.

'Well it's a pretty simple question.' Haley mumbled self-consciously wondering why she was being so pathetic.

'I set her up with Mouth.' Nathan said not really sure why he felt the need to tell her that, maybe it was just to get out of this ridiculous conversation or maybe to ease her worry. But why would she be worried? Nathan sighed. Haley heard him and decided to let the conversation slide, simultaneously deciding it probably would be best if they didn't speak at all.

**XXXXX**

'So let me get this straight…you two are not together, you don't even look like you're friends and you're both taking me to the hospital?' Jimmy grumbled as he pushed off the couch.

Nathan was standing with his arms crossed at the door looking uncomfortable while Haley stood in the sitting room in front of her dad. They'd only just arrived 5 minutes ago and had to go straight to the hospital so he wouldn't miss his appointment. She was glad they had no time to spare, after the silence in the car they both needed to be distracted with something even if it was her father teasing them about their relationship.

'We are friends daddy.' Haley said defiantly crossing her arms just like Nathan.

'Yea seems like it.' He mumbled glancing at the pair.

'Mr James….I asked Haley to stay..' Nathan began and Haley cut him a look for trying to justify her father's apt judgement of this entire situation between them. She was annoyed because her father was right and dammit Nathan was helping him to be.

Nathan just shrugged.

'I'll bet and I assume you were stubborn about it darling?'

'I told you I was bringing you didn't I?'

'honey weren't you just bed ridden for two days?'

'She was.' Nathan said ignoring Haley looking at him then but he wasn't doing it to spite her, he was still a little concerned. She looked like she'd being about to throw up in the car for the last hour.

'Yea the key word there being was….I'm feeling much better I wouldn't be here if I wasn't…'

Jimmy just smiled at Nathan, the boy's concern for his daughter so obvious despite how clearly uneasy things still were between them.

'Right let's get going the sooner we get this over with the sooner you two can go back to pretending you don't care about each other.' He grumped. Nathan and Haley's eyes found each other then before they looked away as they all left the house. This was already turning out to be an incredibly long day.

They were in the waiting room of the coronary care unit now awaiting the doctor to come out and take Jimmy in for his assessment. Haley glanced around at the walls memorising every little crevice, stain and idle photo of somewhere scenic yet incredibly unrelatable. She'd spent many a day here when her dad was transferred from New Jersey.

Many a day was spent giggling on the phone to Nathan, he had really kept her spirits up during that time. They had been so close; it was after that night they shared in the log cabin. God just the way he had looked at her when they slept together that night. Nobody had ever looked at her that way.

Nathan bit his lip a little feeling Haley's eyes on him, he didn't even have to turn to know she was looking his way. He could feel it and he was biting his lip and it was making his palms sweaty and what the hell was wrong with him? Nathan bolted up then quickly, Haley watching him curiously as her father just shook his head knowingly.

_Silly pair._ Jimmy chuckled to himself at how fifth grade they were acting around each other today.

'Ah…I'm going to go get some food or something…' Nathan mumbled awkwardly wiping his hands on his jeans. 'You two want anything?'

'No thanks…' Haley said softly catching his eyes. He just nodded before taking a step back and turning away.

Jimmy just chuckled softly and Haley looked at him. 'What two days away from mom and you're going crazy?' She teased him.

'Oh I'm not the crazy one…' He told her.

'Dad…' Haley sighed.

'No honey, so what this whole relationship between you two was a farce for the wedding …do you really believe it was just that because if you do your crazy..'

'It was at the time dad.' Haley reasoned.

'I think you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted it or at least wanted to see what it would be like but you were too afraid to try…both of you that is.'

'Maybe, I don't really know anymore.'

'You do know darling, you do know.' He said gently as he gave her a pat on the knee. 'And just so you know I'm going in for my check-up alone.'

'Daddy…'

'No daddy me…you two have a lot to figure out, maybe you can do some of that while you're here waiting for me.'

'Nathan doesn't want to spend time alone with me.' Haley mumbled.

'Your mom doesn't like spending time alone with me and this is her first weekend away alone in 5 years.' Jimmy teased.

Haley just shook her head at him as the two of them shared a small laugh.

**XXXXX**

Nathan came back to an empty waiting room feeling relived they'd being called in. He was pretty sure Jimmy was eying him like he was the one that needed to go in and be checked with how strange he was acting.

He didn't know why but even just her eyes on him was sending him over the edge. God he was pathetic.

Nathan sat laying his back against the wall just deciding a snooze wasn't a bad idea when the nurse called him. 'Excuse me are you Nathan Scott?'

'Yes…why?' He said cautiously wondering was something up.

'Oh it's just your friend Haley, she fainted on her way out of here we've just took her down to the ER..'

Nathan jumped up from his seat. 'What?...is she ok? Will she be alright?'

The nurse smiled kindly. 'She's ok we're just running some blood tests but I can assure you it's nothing to serious.'

'Dammit I knew she shouldn't have come…' He mumbled to himself running a hand through his hair noticing the nurse was still there. 'I'm sorry she's just not being well.'

'Her blood pressure was quiet low but it's nothing to worry about, actually she's already coming around and asked if you'd stay here and wait for her father.'

Nathan let out a small sigh then knowing Haley would only get into even more of a tizzy if he went down there and left her dad up here even though he knew her father wouldn't' mind.

He wasn't sure how long it was later but Jimmy was a no show and he was wondering where the hell Haley was, he was seconds away from going down there himself when he heard her sniffling.

Glancing up he felt his stomach drop at her tear-stained eyes. ' Haley…' He started worried and then she smiled at him through those tear-stained eyes and he just felt incredibly confused.

'Are you ok? The nurse told me you fainted and I…well I tried to go down but then she told me to wait and I..' He was cut off as she all but ran into him throwing her arms around him and holding him tightly.

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't really formulate any words he was so taken back by the way she was holding onto him, that beautiful magnolia scent of her hair just wafted around him and then he felt her tears.

Her behaviour was just completely throwing him.

'Haley..' He prodded gently trying to pull away to make eye contact with her but she only huddled closer to him.

'I'm fine I promise.' She mumbled against his chest.

She pulled back wiping her eyes a little. 'God I'm so in love with you Nathan…'

She could tell by the look on his face he was stunned, too stunned to even speak or do anything. That was clearly the last thing he expected her to say in a public place and all.

'I know it wasn't supposed to be like this….in…well here.' She stuttered, an almost awe-stricken smile on her face 'But I just can't keep this in any longer and I'm sorry maybe you don't want to hear it now but I love you…god I have for the longest time.' She said through happy tears then.

'Excuse me…' The kind nurse from earlier interrupted them then as Haley practically jumped away wiping at her eyes. She hadn't even realised she had been crying god she must look crazy and from the look on Nathan's face she certainly was acting so.

'Sorry for interrupting but your dad is looking for you Haley he'd just like to look over some papers.'

Haley nodded before glancing back at Nathan rather shyly and embarrassed. He was still taken aback by her admission and she couldn't help but notice how bashful he appeared too; it warmed her heart how he seemed to be so knocked off from his usual confident self around her. She left him a small parting kiss on the cheek before she pulled away to go and find her dad.

**XXXXX**

Haley smiled as she padded into their living room where Nathan was sitting with his back rested against the couch, legs stretched out in front of him just watching the crackling fire. She smiled at the familiar scene in front of her, many a night after the two of them were out playing until the late hours would they come in and sit like this in front of the fire with hot chocolates laughing and joking trying not to wake her parents.

'I can't believe its mid-May and dad has still got the fire on.'

Nathan just sent her a small smile before he went back to staring at it.

'Did you go to the café?' Haley questioned him softly as she sat down beside him careful to keep some distance between them. She hadn't really seen him since her outburst earlier. Her father initiated the conversation all the way back from the hospital and once they had gotten home Nathan decided to give them some time together. She was cajoling herself for how hazardously she had let that out considering she had being carefully keeping it in the last two weeks until she felt he was ready to hear it.

How ridiculous that concept seemed now, there was never going to be the perfect moment. But right now felt like a good moment to try and explain herself.

'I went to mom's grave actually.' Nathan muttered quietly.

Her mouth actually fell open, she hadn't being expecting that. And for some reason she felt saddened by the fact he didn't need her there with him. 'I'd liked to have gone with you.' Haley mumbled quietly then folding her arms over herself.

He caught onto the meaning behind her words straight away. 'I didn't really know I was going until I ended up there.' Nathan spoke lowly, so low she strained to hear him. 'Besides I've been relying on you too much Haley we both know that.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' She sounded more sad than offended.

'I relied on you too much to cope with what happened Haley and I think I have been since; it wasn't fair to you then and it's not now.'

'Nathan you went through hell loosing Karen I wouldn't expect you or ever want you to go through that alone, ever. And I never want you to not come to me even if we're not….' Haley sighed then. What a ridiculous statement, she pondered, how could they ever not be friends? He was the most important person in her life, he always had been.

'You remember that night in your car after I dragged you out of that party?' Haley pondered softly then watching the fire crackle between them.

Nathan swallowed hard. 'Yea I was a mess.' He admitted.

'Yea but you were my mess.' She said with a small smile.

Silence befell between them again for several seconds until Haley spoke again.

'I wanted to kiss you that night.' She admitted in s soft whisper.

She lifted her eyes to meet his surprised ones, clearly the last thing he was expecting her to say to him.

'I remember sitting there on your lap in that tiny old corolla, you were crying…' She hesitated. 'And I dunno what came over me but I remember just wanting to so bad and I freaked out….like major freaked out Nathan.' She said a little more animatedly then. 'I'm talking like the moment I got home I went rooting through our old family alums at like 1am in the morning looking for the ugliest pictures of you as a child..'

He couldn't resist the smile breaking out on his face and she smiled along with him.

'I mean anything…but of course there were no ugly pictures because you were perfect remember?' She teased him for always taking the piss out of her wild mess of hair and gap tooth pictures, whereas he seemed to have complete missed that boat. 'I guess I was just searching for sanity because it fucking terrified me I mean you know we never..' Haley reasoned a little embarrassed 'And then to want to do that I just lost my cool, I even searched on the web is it normal to want to kiss your best friend when they're going through some major traumatic event….I wanted evidence…'

Nathan couldn't help but smile as she rambled on not the slightest bit surprised by the way she had dealt with that, it was so Haley after all.

'I wanted evidence for how I was feeling but I think maybe I knew I wouldn't find that evidence …because I felt it you know.' She admitted softly then, her tone more serious. 'Something between us that year was changing Nathan, before we lost Karen. And I was so scared, I'd never been in love with someone…'

'Hales….' He began there not sure why he was stopping her when a part of him so badly wanted to hear it but then another part of him was just scared.

'No Nathan…you need to hear this properly this time.' She said gathering up her resolve. 'I'm sorry for the way I blurted it out in the hospital I couldn't help it …..I know you don't think it but I have been holding this in for so long, not just since I got back…' She said letting out a heavy breath. 'I'm in love with you Nathan and I realised that before this whole Stanford mess blew up in our faces, I used it as an excuse to run because I guess I was scared as I was when we were 17 maybe even more….'

'Maybe you leaving was for the best…' Nathan mumbled sadly and she looked across at him eyes wide in surprise as those words left his mouth so hollowly.

'Nathan…'

'I have been selfish with you Haley, I was selfish when I lied to you about Stanford because I wanted you in New York and I've been selfish with you since, you lost your virginity to me and I kept on sleeping with you even though I knew that was a big deal to you…I just ..'

'I don't regret how it happened.' Haley interrupted him softly then and he looked just at her as though he was trying to read the mistake in her words. 'I don't Nathan.'

'But I do Haley…I regret how I dealt with it after it happened….I regret it all..'

'How can you when it brought us here Nathan?'

He shook his head softly at her words. 'We're a mess Haley.'

'Yea well friendships, relationships…. they're supposed to be messy and complicated it's not meant to be linear …so what we've both made mistakes it's supposed to be that way.'

'Nathan…' Haley said as she leaned up on her knees shuffling closer to him reaching out to clasp his hands in hers. Her thumb ran along the inside of his palm soothingly.

He spoke then, his voice seemed strained. 'I argued her Haley, your mom I told her that not letting you go to Stanford was a mistake, I said that I wanted to get you as far away from this godforsaken town as possible…there was so much pain and misery. And then she threw it back on me, she said I was about to lose the next most important person in my life and how could I let that happen when I had a chance to change it…then she said how would I feel if something was to happen to you..'

'She really lay on the guilt huh…' Haley said continuing to rub her thumb against his palm soothingly.

'Not just that this wasn't all on your mum Hales, the things she said… they just seemed to latch onto me, I think I was living in such a state of fear that I started to have all these irrational thoughts about what could happen to you and I panicked, I believed her and I made my decision there and then.' He said sighing regretfully.

She looked at him, the way his shoulders slumped with his words, the worry lines crinkling his forehead. 'Please say something…' Nathan said softly then after too much silence.

Haley sighed. 'I just wish you could have told me…I just…that wasn't your burden to carry not after losing Karen and I hate that you felt that way.' Haley gave him a small smile then. 'You know when I was away I was doing a lot of thinking and sometimes I wonder if I even would have gone, if I could have left…'

'You would have.' Nathan said in a heartbeat.

'I don't know maybe it was a blessing in disguise.'

'I love you for saying that but we both know you would have gone Haley, a dreams a dream right?'

Her heart fluttered at his words, he hadn't even realised he'd said it and that just warmed her insides even more how natural it sounded. 'Yea but maybe I was dreaming about it for all the wrong reasons.' She said earnestly biting her lip as she tugged softly on his hands again meeting those gut-wrenching beautiful blue eyes of his, god did she want to kiss him so bad.

'It's always going to be there though you know …..you accepting it doesn't make it go away.'

'No its you accepting it that will make it go away.' Haley reasoned softly. 'I think you've held onto this long enough don't you?'

His fingers absentmindedly rubbed against the palms of her hands now like hers had being with his. Such a simple touch had his whole body simmering with anticipation. 'Hales it's not that easy…'

'It is I can forgive you for being selfish if you can forgive me…' She said softly biting her lip.

His eyes met hers again. 'What do you mean?'

'I was selfish when I ran off without even hearing you out, I wasn't thinking about you…only me and yea I was scared of us, of it all but now..'

'Now I'm scared….' Nathan said so rawly and honestly she swallowed hard hearing his next words which he said so lowly and apprehensively. 'What if we ruin it?'

She didn't waste another moment then hearing the vulnerability behind those words shook something deep inside of her. Haley pulled herself onto his lap, straddling him as her hands rested on his shoulders. 'What if we can be better?' She whispered.

He swallowed hard, the warmth of her breath fanning across him, his body on heightened alert from her close proximity and her scent, her familiar intoxicating scent.

'I know we've had some of our best times in those weeks we were kind of together that's got to mean something…right..' Haley whispered. 'God I've missed you.' She said heartily, her voice filled with emotion as she rested her forehead against his relishing in the sound of his heavy breathing knowing this was effecting him as much as it was her.

She pulled back slightly then looking into those blue eyes that never wavered from her own. 'Kiss me…' She whispered watching him.

He leaned closer then rather hesitantly, his lips moving painfully slow towards hers, his nose rubbed softly against hers, her breathing was shallow now coming out it whimpering pants in anticipation . 'Nathan kiss me…' She sighed contentedly as his lips finally touched hers, the kiss felt timid and gentle at first almost as though they were kissing for the first time, seeking permission or exploring an unknown territory. And perhaps in a way it was now that they were kissing as lovers.

Nathans hands came up to wrap around her back pulling her closer to him moaning against her as their kiss picked up intensity, Haley pressed into him eliciting the most delicious groan from him as their mouths slanted open, tongues dualling together savouring the hot, wet heat. The gentle sucking sounds and drowned out moans filled the living room until there wasn't a breath of air left between them.

Nathan pulled back first panting harshly as Haley looked at him almost shyly, her lips parted and swollen. He gave her a small smile which she returned as they just gazed at each other almost in awe.

'I was actually more nervous kissing you then…' He admitted rather bashfully and she sent him the most endearing smile. 'I was nervous too.'

Nathan chuckled softly at that surprising her again, this time with his actions as he pulled her in against him hugging her tight.

They stayed like that, just holding each other for the longest time. 'I love you Haley.' He whispered softly to her.

'I love you too.' She whispered back feeling her eyes well up with the sheer emotion of it all. She pulled back. 'I always have.'

He captured her lips again, seeking out her tongue, seeking out the warmth of her mouth so savagely as their kisses fired up with intensity, their dual moans and grunts evading the once quiet space. Haley began to gyrate against him in the most delicious, tortuous rhythm as they continued kissing passionately.

He groaned into her mouth feeling her hands tease underneath his sweater, scorching every part of skin she touched. Nathan pulled away, breathing staggered from their heated kisses feeling her hands tug on his sweatshirt.

'We can't Hales your dad…' He grimaced just thinking about it.

'Nathan it's 1am…' She whispered back as she gyrated on his cock again so heavenly he bit his lip hard to hold back the loud moan.

'Haley….he always gets up for a cup of tea in the night you know that…' He barely got out as he felt her slowly and teasingly move up and down his shaft. 'Dammit….that feels a so good.' He painfully got out as she giggled and he opened his eyes in surprise at both her actions and her words.

'You know what would make it feel even better…' She teased innocently biting her lip as she went to take off her pyjama pants where he could already see the start of her cerise pink panties. 'Fuck Haley….' He moaned. 'Your killing me.'

She started slipping off her trousers then and he jolted from his pleasurable haze. 'No….you can't take them off.'

She couldn't help but hold off the giggle at his panic and his fluster amidst his obvious sexual frustration. It was actually kind of cute how much he was trying to fight this. 'Nathan…come on its past 1am, dad is out for the count…'

'I actually can't believe you're the one trying to convince me to have sex in your living room with your dad upstairs.'''

'Its 1am there is no way he is coming down here after today..' She argued as she began to tease her hand below the waistband of Nathan's sweatpants. 'Besides he can't even drink tea anymore since…'

'Well I'm pretty sure if he comes in and sees us we're going to give him another heart attack….' Nathan said as he stopped her hands breathing in deeply.

She was biting her lip co coyly and sexily when he opened his eyes again and he watched her looking for something and he wasn't even sure what he was looking for. He was full sure she was just playing with him but now she looked deadly serious, she wanted sex right here on this carpet…..which was so unlike her.

He was so deep in thought watching her features he hadn't realised how smoothly she had slid those velvet sweatpants of her down her legs until he felt her straddling him again, her wet heat dampening his own pants. 'Fuck Haley….'

She giggled then simultaneously so innocently and dirtily it only made him want her even more. Nathan held her then as he hoisted himself to the couch before standing up feeling her legs tighten around his waist. 'Nathan…what are you…'

'I'm not having you sitting in here looking like that….your dad will kill me, like actually kill me.' He grumbled as he walked with her out of the living room and crept up the stairs. Her giggling was a marr of beautiful nostalgia to moments they had shared growing up that were so like this every moment they were having now yet different all the same.

'Haley stop giggling we're going to wake him…' Nathan whispered chuckling despite himself as they clambered up the stairs.

That only made her laugh more.

They bundled into her room then chuckling together as Nathan set her down, both of them breathing deeply into the moonlit space listening for any sign they had stirred the sleeping occupant.

They glanced at each other then smiling heartily realising they were both listening for the same thing.

'I feel like I'm 17 again…' Nathan whispered. 'Listening to figure out if we've woke your parents…'

'Yea I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have let you back in here ever again if I left my sweatpants in the living room…' Haley teased.

'You left your sweatpants in the living room?' Nathan said his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

Haley giggled again at how adorable he was being. 'Relax you're like 7 years too late, the overprotective ship has long sailed…'

'You're a little troublemaker you know that…' Nathan said as he stepped closer to her then trailing his hand down her arm, goosebumps coating her entire body from that simple action.

She bit her lip coyly looking up at him. 'Yea but you love it.' She teased.

'Of course I do.' He smirked as he leaned in then kissing her so earnestly, not pushing for more just relishing in the feel of her mouth on his, her warmth, her taste, he wondered how'd he had survived so many years without it.

Nathan guided her back to the bed, his mouth never breaking the kiss, its intensity building like the thriving yearning in their hearts. They fell back to the bed, his body covering hers like a blanket, his rough callous hands smeared across her smooth skin, they devoured everywhere they touched, slid up and stroked every single inch of her as his tongue unmercifully implored her mouth, her hands too scraping down his balmy muscular back igniting every single part of him until they were finally joined again.

His thrusts so deep and heavy , so relentless he had to quieten her merciful cries with a deep, breathless kiss. He filled every part of her like he never had before and she met every single one of his girthful trusts lifting her hips from the bed each time.. 'Nathan….god….' Haley whimpered breathlessly as he kept up his steady rhythm, his eyes never once leaving hers, his breath fanning out so deliciously across her lips.

Brown met blue, eyes so deeply enthralled by how perfect their bodies fit and moved together, what it had always been and what it would always come down to; just the two of them in this bed forgetting the entire world existed.

And his final deep thrust was the culmination of them both; their impassioned love, their slickened bodies tangled together, their lips met much gentler this time savouring the very moment they made love in a bed they had only ever shared as childhood friends.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 **

Haley sighed contentedly coming out of her sleep as she trailed her hand absentmindedly up and down his chest from where she lay snug in her arms. She relished in the complete feeling of calmness that surrounded her.

Nathan shifted a little coming out of his sleep and she smiled at his groggy face and bed hair. 'Hey you.' Haley said softly as she leaned up leaving a quick peck on his lips.

'Hey..' Nathan said, his voice thick with sleep as he sent her that adorable crinkled smile. 'Last night was real huh?'

'It was very real.' Haley smiled as she leaned into kiss him again slipping her tongue into his mouth as they kissed each other softly for several minutes.

'Now I could get used to waking up to that.' Nathan teased her as she pulled away and snuggled back into his side.

'Hmm…' Haley sighed contentedly. 'Me too.' She felt Nathan pull her snugly into his arms as she rested her head against his chest.

Seconds later the knock came to the door…'Haley-bop..'

Nathan jumped practically throwing Haley off him to the other side of the bed.

'Seriously…' She mouthed back to him.

'Haley-bop…' Her dad said again grinning to himself behind the door. 'I'm just letting you know you left your pants in the living room sweetheart and your mom is going to be back in an hour.'

'Thank dad.' Haley said with an eye roll knowing full sure her dad was grinning on the other side. 'You didn't happen to pick them up did you?'

'No I thought I'd let Nathan do that seen as he's the one that took them off you.'

Nathan groaned then rubbing his hands over his face as Haley shook her head not even bothering to reply. 'Dammit Haley.' He mumbled only to hear her giggling to herself. 'You think this is funny.'

'Oh come on it's a little funny…' She said highly amused at Nathan's rattled appearance.

'It's a little disturbing that's what it is..'

'Oh come on, you're almost ten years too late…I'm pretty sure dad's not going to give you the talk.' She teased him as she scooted back over beside him.

'Funny.' Nathan deadpanned. 'I'm not leaving this room until he is gone, I actually won't be able to look him in the face.' He could feel Haley's head shaking against his chest then. 'And you're still laughing.'

'I don't think you would have been this afraid at 17…'

'I'm not afraid.' Nathan retorted.

'Right…' Haley drawled teasingly. 'Come on they practically think we've been doing it since we rocked up to Tay's wedding as a couple…hell mum thinks we did when we were teenagers.'

Nathan just rolled his eyes. 'All them nights I was sneaking in huh?' He said with a fond smile.

'Yea.' Haley smiled back from where her head was perched on his chest.

They lay in comfortable silence for the longest time until Haley spoke again. 'You remember that night on the balcony at the wedding reception…'

'Yea…' Nathan said as he continued stroking her arm softly.

'I told you I wanted a love that could take me away from all of this…the noise, the pressure, expectations….all of it..' Haley leaned up then propping herself up on her elbows so she could face him fully. 'This takes me away from it Nathan, you always have…I just never realised it.'

He swallowed hard at her words.

'Sometimes I think both of us were fighting it without ever knowing and I guess it just makes sense now….why I've always felt this sort of longing or like I've been missing something, it's been you….it's always been you.' Haley admitted softly swallowing hard, she watched as that adorable crooked smile of his adorned his face at her words as he leaned up, his hand came up to cup her cheek softly before he leaned in and kissed her so gently and soothingly, the kiss was so full of love and affection she felt it sparking every nerve ending in her body.

'I love you so much, I could never imagine my life without you in it…' Nathan whispered pulling away ever so slightly from her lips, their hot breath mingling together.

'Good because you're not going to.' She whispered back to him as they kissed softly once more.

Their kisses soon grew more heated as Haley straddled him. He groaned into her mouth feeling her rock her hips against him creating the most tortuous friction. 'Dammit Haley you're killing me.' Nathan groaned out then as his hands rubbed soft circles into her hips.

'What?' She said coyly.

'You know what..' He said grinning at that look on her face.

'No..I think you'll have to remind me.' She teased as she bent down leaving a series of kisses down his muscular chest, her hair tickling against his skin creating a tantalising sensation.

'Pants in the living room ring a bell…' Nathan barely got out feeling his body react to her touches. He smiled as he felt her chuckle against his skin before she leaned up. 'Fair enough.' Haley mused as she clambered off him

'Hey…' Nathan said holding onto her hips. 'It doesn't mean you have to leave.' He tugged her back against him, her back snuggled in against his chest as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

'Now whose being a tease?' Haley whispered with a smile on her face as Nathan kissed and sucked on her neck gently.

'You just taste so good…'He mumbled against her neck.

'Nathan…' Haley got out breathlessly as she sucked hard on her weak spot.

He pulled away reluctantly. 'I know, I know….damn we need to get back to New York.'

She giggled at that and he smiled. 'I missed that sound.' He said as he laid back down again pulling her against him.

'Maybe we should just wait until dad goes….'

'And then your mom comes back..'

'We can do it before then.'

Nathan chuckled. 'Seriously it's like we're teenagers..'

'Except if this happened when we were teenagers I think it would have been seriously awkward.' Haley mused.

'You would have made it awkward Haley I would have been fine.'

She scoffed at that leaning up on her elbow to face him. 'You're kidding right? You're the one that like ran away after we first kissed.'

'I did not run away.'

'Yes you did back to the hotel room like a baby.'

'Well that's because I thought you were going to slap me.' Nathan reasoned.

Haley shook her head at him. 'You were so awkward the next day..' She smiled now remembering how edgy he had been.

'No I was not; you were the one acting all strange..'

'Admit it you were worse than me.' Haley said defiantly.

'No I was fine; it didn't affect me. You're the one that couldn't even look at me.' Nathan said.

'Admit it or I take away the sex card..'

'Wh…you can't do that.' Nathan scoffed. They'd only just got together.

'Yes I can.' Haley said playfully biting her lip.

'Well fine.' Nathan said as he pulled away from her and climbed out of bed working hard to keep the smile from coming on his face at her petulant stare. 'What?' He said as if the last few seconds didn't happen.

'Well fine?' Haley retorted back with a huff then as she sat up pulling the sheet around herself.

Nathan couldn't hold back the chuckle then.

'Your mean.' She pouted.

'Well I was thinking we can't have sex today anyway; I mean some people don't even kiss on a first date..' Nathan said amused as he slipped on his boxers and jeans smirking at her.

'First date?' Haley said quirking her eyebrow, a little smirk playing on her face.

'Yep, first date.' Nathan said with a smile as he fixed his shirt. 'Now I've to try and get out the door before your dad harasses me. I'll pick you up at 6 Hales.' He said with a goofy grin not even giving her the chance to respond.

'Nathan…wait…' Haley called after him but he was already gone out the door. 'Dammit he knows I hate surprises.' She flopped back down on the bed then thinking about it all. What were they even going to be doing? As she thought about it she couldn't help but keep the big girly grin off her face, god did she feel like a teenager again falling in love for the first time with the boy that had her heart from the moment they met.

She couldn't believe it was even possible to feel this giddy and excited about a first date when she already knew him so well and yet at the same time, these feelings and the way he looked at her, the way her heart jumped at the sight of him….all of it was _so_ new. Haley glanced to her dresser where the picture of Nathan giving her a piggyback stood tall and she couldn't help but feel her heart flutter even more.

**XXXXX**

'So you've taken me to your old stomping ground..' Haley said glancing around remembering fondly.

'This is part 1…' Nathan reminded her with that gorgeous grin of his as he took Haley's hand in his and led her over towards the bleachers.

'So I was thinking earlier we are kind of cheating the first date scenario seen as we kind of know almost everything there is to know about one another….' He teased glancing her way and Haley just smiled at him as she straddled the bleacher watching as he sat down facing out towards the court, he was still holding her hand in his rubbing it gently.

'I figured it might be nice to tell you some things that you never heard….well because I guess I never wanted to bring it up.'

Haley held his gaze with a curious smile. 'What do you mean?' She was pushing herself closer to him like an excited child. He couldn't help but chuckle.

'Well you know how you told me last night about that freak out you had when we were in the car that night…' Haley just nodded.

'Well I kind of had a freak out as well but I very quickly shut it down and figured it was just a moment of insanity…'

'When…' Haley said bursting with curiosity now.

'The night of the state championship….' Nathan said then as he squeezed her hand softly in his.

_3…2…..1…And Ravens for the win! _

_The crowd erupted into cheers, feet pounded against the vinyl floors jumping up and down, hands slapped together, roars of disbelief as Lucas sunk the final shot of the game. The Ravens were state champions at last. _

_Coloured confetti fell all around them. _

_Nathan was suddenly surrounded by a realm of people clasping their hands around him, congratulating him and telling him how long they had waited for this moment. _

_He wormed his way through his fellow teammates and the crowd looking for that familiar pair of brown eyes. Glancing to the left he noticed Trevor spinning Haley around as she hugged him tightly and he felt an odd disheartening so juxtaposed against the absolute triumph of that very moment. _

_And yet the sting was so prominent he had to turn his gaze away from the two not truly understanding what was going on with him. _

'_Nathan….' Her voice had him spinning around almost instantly breaking out into a smile as she came running toward him and jumped into his arms, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist. Nathan stumbled back a little, surprised by her actions. Haley and him were always playful around each other but they never this close and it had every nerve ending in his body sparking with something so compelling he couldn't understand it. _

'_Hales….' Nathan chuckled as she squeezed him so tight before she leaned back. _

_He noticed the tears shining in her eyes and for some reason none of this was playful anymore. He swallowed hard at her words. 'We dreamed this Nathan. We dreamed it.' She smiled through her tears as she looked into his blue eyes. _

_She watched him, watching her both seemingly caught in a trance. _

_Her words made him nervous and yet he knew he wasn't nervous, but he felt nervous. There was a twisting feeling in his stomach that he couldn't pinpoint. He could see her watching him, she was getting confused. He hadn't said anything for a really long time. _

_Really long. But why did everything feel so different? _

'_Haley….' _

_Nathan dropped her to her feet as if he'd being burned. _

_Haley glanced at him questionably before turning at the sound of Trevor's voice. 'You ready?' She nodded quietly._

_Trevor slapped Nathan on the shoulder. 'Great game man.'_

'_Yea you too.' He replied mustering up a smile. _

'_Will see you at the café.' _

_Haley just sent him a small smile rubbing her hand down his arm as she walked away alongside Trevor leaving Nathan standing there confusingly put out over the fact she was leaving with him. _

'_I don't think it's too serious you know.' His mother's words broke him from his trance as he turned around from where he watched the pair walk out of the gym. _

'_Huh…?' Nathan said as his mom approached him. _

'_Haley.' Karen said knowingly shaking her head softly at her son's obvious denial._

'_Oh well it's not really any of my business.' Nathan mumbled as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts. _

'_Please you've been guarding any guy that come nears her like a watch dog since you were 9.' Karen teased him. _

_Nathan just rolled his eyes good naturedly as his mom brought him in for a hug. _

'_I'm so proud of you my boy.' Karen said with tears in her eyes as she held him tight. She pulled back then as she wiped her eyes. 'But sometimes you can be really silly.' _

'_Jee thanks mom..' Nathan teased her as they separated. _

_Karen just smiled at him through teary eyes as she grabbed onto his hands. 'You know I never hold back.' She began smiling more as Nathan chuckled at her words. 'But I've tried holding back and letting this run its course….'_

'_What are you talking about?' _

'_Haley…'_

'_Mom…' Nathan began interrupting her. _

'_No honey, please just let me say this and I won't mention it again..' Nathan gave her a knowing look. 'Well I'll try not to.' Karen said. _

'_I know you're best friends and maybe you're afraid, maybe you think you'll ruin it but I truly believe it could change your life more than anything, more than all of this here tonight ever could….'_

'_I don't really know what you expect me to do mom…' Nathan mumbled. _

'_Just don't let her go honey because you are afraid, you don't want to be looking back years down the line and wondering what if….we both know what that can do to a man.' Karen said knowingly as she kissed him on the cheek before walking away. _

'Wow….' Haley said softly as she listened to Nathan's words. 'I mean….Karen used to tease us all the time but it never got serious…'

'You know that was the last conversation we had about you..' Nathan admitted softly. Two weeks after that he had lost her. He felt Haley squeeze his hand then and he looked over towards her with a small smile. 'Obviously I couldn't tell you at the time because it freaked me out….'

'You were acting really odd that night..' Haley nudged him softly then and Nathan just shook his head at her.

'_You know you left the door unlocked people could have come up here…..' Haley chirped cheerfully as she came up to the rooftop noticing Nathan sitting on their usual makeshift cement bench. 'And once they saw my cool lights well our secret hangout spot would be on everyone's agenda…' Haley mused to herself as she came up beside Nathan nudging into his shoulder playfully as she sat up beside him. 'What's up buddy?' _

'_Just wanted some quiet that's all.' Nathan admitted. _

'_What? You're like the star of the show tonight you should be down there soaking this in and rubbing it in Dan's face.' Haley teased. Her musings barely got a smile out of him. _

'_Ok did he say something to you?' She wondered then if Nathan was actually upset. She watched as he tugged on his tie then rather forcefully before dropping his hands down. She smiled as she watched him sitting there dressed in usual game attire, a light blue dress shirt with a tie. Haley reached out to fix his rumpled shirt and Nathan jerked away from her completely. _

'_What?' Haley said almost laughing at how jerky he was being. 'Your shirts all crumpled…'_

'_I got it.' Nathan snapped and he winced at how that came out. _

'_Ok did I do something?' Haley wondered then as she pulled away from him and hopped off the cement bench. _

_Nathan's gaze met her eyes then and he could see she was visibly more upset or even worried than she was angry. He couldn't help but let his eyes roam her body then taking in the simple light blue sweatshirt she was wearing with ravens across her chest alongside her indigo jeans, her long blonde hair falling in its usually loose waves past her shoulders. _

_Haley watched his gaze suddenly and for some god unknown reason was feeling self-conscious. Why is he…she stopped her thoughts from even going there, there was no way he was actually checking her out…this is Nathan for peats sake, stop being ridiculous. Haley crossed her arms over her chest trying to diffuse some normality into the situation again. 'Nathan….' She tried to gather his attention again. _

'_Where's Trevor?' He asked her then. _

_Haley was pretty sure she was given him the most quizzical look ever now. What had that to do with anything? 'Uh last I seen of him he was playing stupid arm-wrestling wars with Mouth and Skills…' Haley tried to joke. 'Why?' _

'_I'm surprised you're up here that's all.' _

_His tone didn't go a miss by her and it bothered her some. 'What's that supposed to mean Nathan?'_

'_It's nothing.' Nathan quipped coolly. _

_She didn't like his tone and she sure as hell didn't deserve it. 'Ok spit it out….what did he or I do?'_

'_You didn't do anything; you just haven't been allowed to leave his side so I don't really feel like having to deal with his bitching and moaning when he finds you up here with me.' _

_Haley scoffed. 'God Nathan we've been through this he knows there's absolutely nothing between us…jeesh what is your problem? You're the one that told me to go for it.'_

'_Yea for a prom date Haley, I didn't tell you to hang off him…you're starting to act like Theresa…' He felt Haley shove him so harshly he almost stumbled off the bench. _

'_Don't you dare compare me to her.' Haley fumed at him 'You know I came up here to find my best friend, I wanted to tell him that I've something planned for us to celebrate tomorrow so if you find him maybe you could pass on the message.' She spat before she went to walk away from him then and he scrambled up after her latching onto her arm in time. _

'_Haley….wait.' Nathan said grimacing as he noticed the tears in her eyes. Shit. 'I'm sorry I didn't mean that…I swear I don't know where that came from.' He dropped her arm then eying her cautiously. _

_Haley expelled a soft sigh as she glanced up at him. She didn't want to fight with him. Tonight had been amazing. That moment they had shared earlier had been so special. What had changed in the space of two hours, was he really that bothered by Trevor? _

'_Did something happen? Did someone say something to you about Trevor…..he's going to ditch me by prom isn't he?' Haley rambled to herself now coming up with all kinds of crazy ideas in her head for why Nathan was acting like he hated the guy all of a sudden. _

'_No….no quite the opposite actually.' Nathan mumbled. 'I'm sorry Haley, I just miss hanging out with you that's all and I feel like everything's happening so fast at the moment and I just….I miss you.' _

_She smiled softly at that as she stepped into his embrace wrapping her arms around his torso as his read rested on top of hers. 'Nice save.' Haley mumbled against him as they held onto each other for a little longer than necessary. _

'I think I was jealous…' Nathan said then shaking his head at his own stupidity. Haley just smiled. 'Can you actually believe he ditched me before prom in the end, all because I wouldn't sleep with him that night of the championship.' Haley said unamused.

'I could still waste that guy.' Nathan said and she just shook her head.

'I wonder if your mom is looking down on us now like finally…' Haley said laughing gently.

'Probably. I told her about us you know when I went to see her. I think that was the first time I ever actually talked to her like that….'

Haley shuffled closer to him on the bleachers then brining his hand up to her lips leaving a soft kiss there. 'I don't think I said this enough to you after it happened but I admire your strength so much and the person you've become especially with the way you lost her Nathan..'

'Where do you think I get it from?' Nathan said knowingly as he turned to face her then, his blue eyes gazing into her tear-stained beautiful brown ones as he slowly leant forward gently capturing her lips, a soft content sigh escaping him as Haley's tongue slowly entered his mouth teasing his so delicately. Their soft moans echoed through the vacant space as the slow, arduous kiss consumed them entirely. Breaking away with a gentle smile on both of their lips they pulled back both a little embarrassed and in awe of how it all felt between them now.

**XXXXX**

'Well part 2 has definitely made up for part 1..' Haley said teasingly as she dropped her knife and fork down on her plate, the two of them having finished up their lovely outdoor meal at the market street dock.

'You remember sophomore year we'd come down here and you make fun of all the couples being all lovely dovey?' Haley teased him as she kicked his shin playfully. She smiled at that playful gleam in his eye and that familiar boyish grin on his face.

'Oh yea and where are you going with this?' Nathan teased back.

'Just you used to pick on me all the time for cooing over them and look at you now…' Haley quipped as she leaned her chin to rest on her hands rather smugly.

Nathan chuckled at that, that husky laugh that sent shivers right through her. God, she was gone for. 'What can I say? You've always had me wrapped around your finger you know…'

Haley just smiled sweetly at him. 'Tonight has been really nice, thanks Nathan.' She said softly as she reached across lacing her fingers with his.

He smiled at her feeling the twist of feelings tighten in his tummy, his heart pounding and for the life of him he couldn't understand how he could possibly feel nervous around her even after all this time.

'I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise not make fun of me…'

Haley gave him a look then and Nathan just stared at her challengingly. 'Fine…ok I won't make fun of you I promise.'

He could see her biting her lip holding in the laugh and he shook his head continuing anyway. 'I was actually nervous for tonight…I still am…' He mumbled as he reluctantly caught her glance again. Haley was looking at him so lovingly in that moment he felt his heart pound even harder.

'Me too…' She said biting her lip softly as she placed a fallen strand of hair behind her ear.

Her hand was still holding onto his across the table and she watched as he brought it up to his lips leaving a gentle kiss there, a move so delicate and affectionate which had her heart racing. She was so in love with him, it suddenly all made sense; the longingness she felt through her college years, the confusion, the nostalgic ache for the past as though she had left something behind and she didn't know what it was. But she knew now.

'I don't want to go back tomorrow.' Haley admitted softly then.

'We're together now Haley going back to New York isn't going to change that.' Nathan said softly.

'No, I know that…it's just….it's been nice spending time here with you.'

He could see the hesitation pass over her features. 'Is everything ok?'

'Yea of course it is, don't mind me….I'm just being silly.' Haley tried to pass it off inwardly berating herself for even saying those words.

He wanted to press her further on this, there was something different about her. Something completely unrelated to them and their situation. And he couldn't for the life of him pinpoint what it was but anytime he brought up New York she seemed to grimace a little. It's like she didn't want to think about it or talk about it or anything. 'Hales is this about New York?' He pondered gently.

'No not at all. I'm happy there Nathan especially now that we're together. New York was never the problem it was me….'

'Ok you just don't seem to want to go back….' He said concerned.

'It's just nice here away from it all, I've kind of got that bittersweet feeling you get on like the second last day of your holiday and you know its soon time to go.'

Nathan smiled at her words. 'I know but it's going to be different when we go back Hales, we're together now.'

She smiled at his words but inwardly it did little to appease her concern over the revelations that lay ahead for them and their friends.

'As long as you're ok..'

'I am.' Haley said giving his hand a squeeze.

'Good because if something is bothering you no matter how silly you think it is you need to tell me ok.'

'I know.' She failed to look at him. She wanted so badly to tell him but she couldn't. She was just too scared.

'So I think I've an idea for part 3 of our date…' She quipped then just as the waiter finished tidying their table. She wasn't letting those silly thoughts ruin what had been the most wonderful first date with her best friend. She could bottle them up to tomorrow and just relish in all the excitedness and new feelings that tonight was awakening in them both.

'Oh yeah?' Nathan said arching his eyebrow at her smirking as he noticed that devious glint in her eye.

**XXXXX**

'Ok so this looks like way more fun in the movies…' Haley grumbled as she shifted herself once again on his lap trying to get into a comfortable position. Nathan just chuckled, his body shaking beneath.

'What's so funny now?' He hadn't stopped laughing the last few minutes. 'You're completely ruining the moment you know.' Haley goaded him as she gave up even trying to open the buttons on his shirt. She stared at him with that petulant look in her eyes he had become so familiar to.

'It's just….you're so awkward Haley..' He teased and he couldn't even try and bite back the smirk on his face.

'I'm awkward….' She scoffed. 'You should have seen what you look like trying to get into the back seat of this damn car.'

'I'm tall…'Nathan reasoned.

'Yea well you're not the one who has to sit on another person's lap in a cramped space..'

'We can do it that way if you want but it might be a little..'

'Oh shut up…' Haley hit him playfully then as he continued to chuckle.

'Stop making fun of me…' She pouted

'I'm not….'

His smirk told her otherwise. 'Whatever just because I wasn't the one having sex in the back seat of my car during high school doesn't mean I can't do it.'

'Trust me I know you can do it.' Nathan goaded her even further as his hands slipped up underneath her blouse rubbing against her skin.

'Oh you know what I mean…' Haley said trying to keep her cool but god the way he was touching her now, his hands felt so hot and rough against her balmy back. She grinded herself against him enjoying the low moan that action received.

'And I never had sex in the back seat of the car at least not until now…' Nathan mumbled hotly against the skin of her neck as he sucked and bit softly on her collarbone eliciting the most erotic cries from her.

Haley reluctantly pulled back then. 'What?'

'I haven't.' He said without a hint of teasing or joking present in his form now. 'Only you.' He smiled softly moaning as Haley's mouth met his in a ferocious kiss, her tongue so hot and wet against his, the fell of her body grinding into his coupled with her mouth on him was nearly enough to send him over the edge right then and there and he knew he wouldn't last long. Nathan shifted her up a little as he expertly pulled her mini skirt and panties down her legs groaning immediately as her hot, wet heat dampened his pants. He felt Haley's hands undoing his jeans then and he shifted to get them off only knocking into the seat belt buckle in the process.

He heard Haley giggling against his neck then at his obvious awkwardness and he couldn't stifle his own chuckle. 'Shut up.' He said knowing full well where her mind was going.

Haley just looking at him so innocently sexily, biting down her lip where her lipstick was slightly smudged from their heavy make out session. She was so sexy. He felt her tugging down his jeans then just enough so she could straddle him again, her wet heat sliding right across his length. 'Fuck…' Nathan groaned as he watched her trying so hard not to just plunge himself inside of her.

Finally the torturous yearning ceased as she lowered herself on top of him and nothing ever felt so perfect as the feeling of her surrounding him like that; every part of her.

'You're perfect…' Nathan whispered hotly against her, their sweaty foreheads touching as their bodies moved together in a slow, erotic rhythm, the steam of their love making mirrored in the fogged-up windows around them.

'Oh god Haley please…' Nathan groaned as he began to build up a faster rhythm up and down on his cock. He needed more; he was so close to that blissful edge wanting to hold on to this all-consuming pleasure for as long as possible. 'It feels so good doesn't it?' Haley whispered erotically in his ear enjoying the low growl that emitted from him and she began to increase her pace as Nathan's trust came equally hard and fast and in seconds she was done for, her whole body shuddered against his as their lovemaking completely consumed her. Her walls clenched so tightly around his length and she felt him right there with her, his head fell against her neck as he chanted her name so hotly in breathless whispers.

The pair stayed like that for several minutes before Haley pulled back running her hand through Nathan's damp bangs as she left a shaky kiss on his forehead. He glanced her way then through hooded eyes and she sent him a soft smile.

'That was….' He began still trying to catch his breath.

'Yea…' Haley said softly and no more words were need to be said. They smiled at each other like they had so many times before but it too carried with it the monumental air of change between them.

**XXXXX**

Haley continued to stir the pasta sauce as her phone started buzzing from the counter beside her. She instantly started smiling as she picked it up without even looking at it. 'Hello…' Haley said smoothly.

'OH…ew…ew…..gross you were totally waiting on a call from Nathan weren't you?' Brooke's whiny voice came down the other end of the line.

Haley rolled her eyes at her friend's over-dramatics. 'Since when were you grossed out by us?'

'Since you got back to New York and are going at it like a pair of horny teenagers you can't keep your hands off each other, it's disturbing me so you can imagine what it's doing to Lucas…'

Haley couldn't help but shake her head at her friend's silliness. They had only been back a week. While Brooke hadn't known Nathan and Haley since they were kids, Lucas had and he was still adjusting to their as he quoted ' constant playful foreplay.'

'Well I guess we did miss the teenager phase so we're just making up for lost time…'

Her words got a giggle out of Brooke then. 'So I'm just checking in so you guys know its 7pm on Saturday?'

Haley couldn't help but smile at Brooke's low-key demanding ways. 'Of course Brooke we wouldn't dare be late for your birthday drinks…'

'I'm going to let that one slide Haley James because you're all loved up and what not but I don't like your sarcasm missy…' Brooke joked on the line.

'you know I love you too Brooke…'

'Of course you do.'

Haley heard the front door close and glanced at the clock curiously noting it was just past 4. 'Listen I better go Nathan is here….' She began only to receive a teasing cat call on the phone.

'Remember to disinfect the kitchen table.' Brooke quipped and Haley hung up before she could even say anymore.

She was smiling softly to herself as she left the sauce on to simmer before walking over to the cupboards to pull out the sheets of spaghetti. She heard his footsteps coming in then. 'I'm cooking lasagne but I wasn't expecting you for two…' Haley turned then noticing the oddly worked up expression on Nathan's face.

'What is it?' She said dropping the lasagne sheets behind her.

'It's my job….Hales….I've been offered a job transfer to Calfornia...it's starting next week…' He seemed somewhere between astounded and amazed. As though he wanted it.

And it sent her into a spin. A whirl of panic.

'I'm pregnant…' She gasped out quietly watching as his face dropped.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi guys - ****here is the final update for this story, I know some of you may have been expecting it to go on longer but I had initially planned to twenty chapters and having wrote this it felt like it reached its conclusion here - I added pregnancy to give a sense that this version of Naley will also have a baby Jamie in the future ;) **

**So on with the final update, thanks so much to everyone that reviewed/supported this story. Enjoy the final update. :) **

**Chapter 21**

Haley felt her heart pounding in her chest as the previous exuberance across his face dropped.

'Wh….you're…..w….what?' Nathan barely got the words out, fumbling and tripping over himself as he glanced down at her belly. She felt her heart flutter noting it was the first thing she had done too when the doctor had told her.

'I'm pregnant…' Haley said softly as he continued to look at her in complete disbelief.

'But….when….how….I mean we were careful you were on birth control weren't you?' Nathan said getting himself into a mild panic.

Haley swallowed thickly; this of course wasn't going how she wished it to play out in her head. 'Well yea….it doesn't always work Nathan…' She reasoned suddenly feeling quiet nauseous again, her hand immediately resting on her tummy. 'Please tell me you're ok with this…' She said softly, the fear prickling her skin with each passing second.

'Haley….I'm…just…I'm ….we're not ready.' Nathan said. She watched him pacing on the spot then seemingly trying to take himself out of the gravity of this entire situation.

'Nathan…' Haley stepped forward then latching onto his jacket covered arm halting him. 'It's ok.' God she really needed him to be ok with this.

'Haley….we're just….we're not ready for this…'

They seemed to be the only words that would leave his mouth. He looked completely frazzled and had it been any other circumstance she actually would have took some humour from the situation given he teased her for being the rambled and frizzly one most of the time. Haley grabbed onto his hands then running her thumb in soothing circles against his palms to calm him, grateful when he remained still beside her.

'I'm sorry….Haley I didn't mean to scare you…I just…' Nathan gulped looking for a breath of air then as he glanced down at her, the girl he'd known since he was 8 years old, his best friend, brazen yet so self-conscious, sweet yet so strong, a young girl who'd stolen his affections from the very moment they'd met now the woman carrying _their_ child.

'I just…..' Words failed him as a whirl of emotions consumed him, a riptide of confusion and hope. She'd given him something he'd never even known his heart had longed for. He reached out then, the back of his hand rubbing across her flat belly, Haley shivered slightly from the action. He glanced back into her eyes then and he felt he could see right into the soul of the girl he'd known all his life.

Haley watched those deep blue eyes, right now she could see the riptide of emotions consuming him, he was looking at her so intensely she knew he felt it. How she felt at the hospital, the disbelief that they had created this life between them, that all those little moments they'd shared from their childhood to their adolescence had led them right here to this very one.

'Please say something….' Haley's voice trembled, as his hand gently caressed her belly.

The emotion still whirling in his ocean blue eyes, Nathan teared up as he spoke. 'I love you…' He choked out, the hand still resting against her belly as the other cupped her cheek before he captured her lips, his tongue seeking entrance immediately sucking languorously against hers, the pair of them moaning softly as the kissed deepened and lingered on slowly.

'When did you find out?' Nathan said softly as he peeled his lips away from hers leaving a gentle kiss on her forehead.

'Last week in the hospital actually….' Haley said nervously.

'Last week…god Hales…' Nathan mumbled taking a step back.

'I'm sorry I didn't know how to tell you….and we were a mess and I know we've only figured things out but….this it's….it's our baby you know…' She rambled nonsensically as her hand once again found her tummy, she'd been doing that a lot lately.

'I'm not upset with you I just wish you could have told me when you found out.' Nathan admitted softly.

'I was scared….I am scared.' Haley admitted honestly then.

'I know.' Nathan said as he closed the distance between them once again wrapping his arms tightly around her, she buried her head in his chest squeezing him tightly. 'It's going to be ok Haley.' He said soothingly as he hugged her tightly, the guilt pinching him for worrying her even more over his reaction, knowing she had been holding all of this in this whole time.

'I really needed to her you say that.' Haley mumbled against him.

The pair stayed wrapped in each other's arms for the longest time before Nathan pulled back. 'Wow…this is just…' His breath hitched in his throat still swallowing his words. 'I can't believe..'

'I know…' Haley said softy as she rested her head against his chest again.

He noticed steam rising from the pot then from where Haley had been cooking. 'Here let me finish this you should rest.'

'Nathan I'm pregnant not ailing.' Haley said as she went back to where she had the sauce simmering on the counter. She wanted to question him more, about the job offer, about how he really felt about all of this. If there was one thing Nathan was good at doing it was putting up a front. But Haley also knew he needed time to process all of this, like she had.

'And I'm telling you that you better get used to being a little less stubborn with me now that you're pregnant.'

'Great please don't tell me you're going to get even more over-protective.' She teased him. 'Maybe I should have waited a few more weeks.'

'I think I'd be able to tell when you started getting fat.'

Haley gasped at him. 'I won't be getting fat…' She admonished.

'Well you will get bigger…'

'Bigger yea but not fat and if you ever want to have sex again you better not say those words to me…'

'Trust me sex won't be a problem aren't pregnant girls like…'

'Don't you dare finish that sentence.' Haley warned him turning around as she poked the wooden spoon at him.

Nathan just chuckled. 'You know you remind me so much of mom when you do that…'

Haley smiled biting her lip at his words. How casually he brought Karen into conversation filled her with joy but she held back from mentioning that very fact to him knowing it could cause him to retreat on the subject matter just as fast.

But in some ways it was a sign he was healing or at least trying to. 'You know they say it's kind of life's little plan you have kids so you have something to hold onto when you loose your parents….maybe in this case you'll get something of your mom back' Haley said softly.

Nathan didn't say anything as he came up behind her then wrapping his arms around her shoulders leaning a gentle kiss on her neckline hugging her close from behind. Haley smiled as she continued to stir the sauce.

Haley propped the bowl onto the table completely satisfied as she stretched her feet out on the couch smiling when Nathan placed them in his lap and started massaging them gently.

'Are we going to talk about this job offer?' Haley mumbled softly then, there had been such a loving silence in the air between them almost as they cooked and ate their dinner. But the real world was out there, and their relationship in some ways still vulnerable to the mistakes they had made in the past, to the things they'd left unsaid.

'Well I think the best thing right now would be to not take it but since we're together now I'm guessing I should ask how you feel about it?' Nathan answered honestly as he glanced over at her sending her a small smile.

Haley sent him a heartfelt smile back. 'I think you should take it and we should go.' She watched his eyebrows lift in surprise. 'Ok Hales I know you're not the biggest fan of New York but…?'

'Nathan…' Haley said as she scooted closer to him on the couch. 'New York has never been the problem, it's been me…..and now we're together do I think I could be happy here? Yes absolutely..'

'Then why are you so willing to leave…' He said as he shifted slightly so he was facing her on the couch.

'Call me crazy or whatever…you know I'm crazy..' Haley mused as Nathan chuckled. 'I just think this is a sign for us, after everything we have this chance to go somewhere new together…..you know maybe I wasn't supposed to live on the west coast all them years ago for college because I am supposed to now with you…..'

'A sign?' He mocked her playfully. 'Haley you know you always do this whenever we've like a big decision to make….'

'Nathan stop you're embarrassing me….' Haley gleamed as she felt the blush paint her cheeks.

'Why are you embarrassed?' He said grinning at how adorable she was being.

'I don't know.' Haley admitted biting her lip. 'It just feels different with us now you know? It feels different whe you tease me'

'Yea it does feel different.' Nathan admitted as he continued rubbing her foot soothingly. He wanted to tease her for being so nervous and shy all of a sudden but he decided to spare her further embarrassment. It was nice to think Haley was also experiencing the apprehension around the fickle changes in their relationship. It was all new territory this transition from best friend to a loving relationship and while it may on the surface appear like a rather seamless transition it was all the minor things such as just being together on the couch like this where their old way of being was slightly altered and within that change brought the nerves, the jitters and the butterflies of a new relationship. 'Come here…'

Haley shifted closer to Nathan biting her lip rather shyly before releasing it. He sent her a soft reassuring smile before he leaned closer capturing her lips in a soft, gentle kiss. He felt Haley's tongue probing against his lips seeking his wet warmth, the two moaned as her tongue found his and their kiss lingered on so slowly enjoying the simple pleasure of tasting one another and being together like this.

Reluctantly pulling apart in need of air Nathan left a gentle kiss on her forehead before looking at her intently. 'I think you're right, maybe now is our time to live together somewhere new.' He watched that beautiful smile of hers grace her features before he continued. 'But I'm also going to talk to them in work about it, this isn't a decision I have to make right now, maybe they can hold off on this move a little while and it will give us time to adjust with the pregnancy and all.'

Haley nodded. 'Ok that seems reasonable.'

'So we can go but it doesn't have to be next week.' Nathan said.

Haley just threw her arms around his neck then burying her head in his chest, in his warmth in the comfort that he always gave her.

'What's this for?' Nathan chuckled gravelly trying to peel away from her slightly but she was clinging on for dear life.

'You…for just everything Nathan, I love you so much.' Haley said as she savoured the feeling of his heart beating wildly in his chest at her words.

**XXXXX**

Haley giggled at the joke he whispered in her ear sucking in a breath as he left a soft kiss on her neck before blowing over it.

'Ok this is just strange….' Peyton mused as she glanced at the loved-up pair across from her.

'Well I happen to think it's very cute.' Brooke said placing her chin on her hands with a big grin.

'Oh no it's cute…its just we teased these relentlessly about this for years and they got so pissy! Peyton said as Lucas chuckled in agreement.

'Ah earth to Haley….Nathan…yahoo…' She teased.

'What?' Haley said trying to stop her giggling.

'So you two need the rest room or something? I'm sure we can stall the desert although Nathan's probably already gonna be full after…' Brooke teased at their love sick ways.

'Ugh Brooke!' Lucas admonished her not really wanting to think of his brother and one of his closest friends in that light.

'What?' Brooke said innocently.

'Why is everyone looking at us?' Nathan said as he leaned across the table again for his beer settling back beside Haley with his arm thrown casually around her.

'I was just saying this is a little weird for me considering how pissy you two used to get when we made all them jokes about you getting together…'

'Can we not go there?'

'We are so going there do you know how long I've waited to say I told you so…'

Haley just shook her head at her friends. 'I don't know but let me guess you're going to say it now..'

Peyton just smirked playfully. 'You guys remember our failed trip away the night after the state championship.'

Haley groaned; she remembered all right. Her and Trevor had called it quits because she wouldn't give it up and not to mention the weirdness between her and Nathan the night of the championship itself.

'Where did you go?' Brooke said.

'Well that's just it we never made it there….' Nathan said.

'_Oh my god Nathan you're going to love this there's like so many hiking trails.' Haley mused as she scrolled through her phone looking at the travel blog Peyton had recommended. They were in the middle of a 6-hour drive towards Acadia National Park, a weekend getaway the girls had planned for the boys for finally finishing the basketball season. _

_Nathan barely mumbled out a 'cool' as he kept his focus on the road. _

_And so she tried a little more. 'Oh and they have like midnight kayaking that would be so cool…' She was usually good at rambling on until he caved and told her what was going on anyway. She couldn't pinpoint it herself, she figured he'd be really excited over all of this, Nathan loved outdoors stuff and then there was the fact they'd won the state championship. She just wanted to come out with a what the hell is going on with you but she knew that wasn't the approach to take with her best friend, he'd cave and seek her advice or comfort or whatever…eventually. _

_Haley was more impatient than usual though. Pretty soon they could potentially be miles apart and she wanted to enjoy every moment like this as much as possible. _

'_We have to do that don't you think?' Nothing. _

'_Nathan…' Haley said a little less friendly then. _

'_Haley I'm trying to concentrate on the road I don't want to miss the turn off.' He said not even glancing in her direction. _

'_you won't I have it all here on the satnav that's my job.' She said trying to keep her spirits up. _

'_Yea well I still need to concentrate I'm the one that's driving…' _

'_Ok I was just asking…' She began only he cut her off. _

'_Why don't you just go to sleep?' He hadn't meant for his words to come out so cold but they had. _

'_Fine.' Haley spat out then completely hurt and frustrated with him. 'Drive alone see if I care if after an hour of boredom you have no one to play 21 questions with or the radio game..' She huffed. _

'_Hales…' Nathan began then wincing at how annoyed she clearly was, of course she was. He'd being given her a serious case of the cold shoulder all day and he wasn't even sure why. All he knew was that after last night and all the weirdness it brought up he actually needed some distance from her today, that's how he had planned it until this entire trip was sprung on him. _

_He knew he needed to shake himself out of it and just enjoy his time here with his best friend. Nothing was going on between them. He knew his thoughts were irrational and yet what his mum had said to him yesterday after the game was replaying in his head. Damn, why had she to go and say that? He'd even snapped at her this morning and felt horribly guilty. _

'_Haley….' He began again when he was met with her silence. _

'_I'm sleeping Nathan.' She berated him. _

'_You're not sleeping if you're answering me.' _

'_I am answering to let you know I'm sleeping and if you plan on staying friends you may not want to push me on this!' _

_Nathan sighed softly, usually when she threatened the friendship card he would tease her that she could never do without him and it would go vice versa until they laughed d forgot what they were originally play fighting about in the first place. Now wasn't one of those times._

_An hour later Haley came out of her restless slumber frowning at the image of the car bonnet opened in front of her. 'What's going on?' She mumbled her voice thick with sleep. _

'_I think our car has to be towed.' Peyton said with a heavy sigh. _

'_Why? What happened?' _

'_It just started stuttering and then the red engine light came on and Nathan pulled over.' _

_Haley glanced out the side window noticing Nathan clenching his jaw tightly as he spewed off to the man on the phone. Oh boy. _

'_He is such a grouch today. Did something happen with you two?' _

'_Well try asking him that because I don't know what I have done.' Haley mumbled. _

'_Oh….well like I know Trevor called it off I just thought….' _

'_What?' _

'_Maybe you kissed last night or something.'_

'_No Peyton we didn't kiss god I wish everyone would let that go its like the closer we get to finishing the school the more people are pushing it.' _

'_Maybe that's because you two need a push…'_

'_We don't need a push I think if it was to happen we might have tried it by now and anyways the thought of kissing Nathan right now is just ugh….I'm not attracted to him..'_

'_Sure you're not..' Peyton teased her. 'I mean it's not like he hasn't completely filled out this past year, his arms have got so muscular and his hair all scruffy, his voice much deeper…'_

'_You got a thing for him Peyt why don't you go for it?' Haley spewed sarcastically. _

'_Oh come on girlie you know I'm just playing with you.' _

'_Are you? Cause it kind of seems like you're treating me like I'm stupid or something, trust me Peyton I'm not in denial…he's my best friend and I'd like to keep it that way..' _

'_Ok….ok.' Peyton said holding her hands up. 'But maybe someone should tell him that…' _

_Haley quirked her eyebrows at her. _

'_Giving the ways he's being acting today…' _

_Peyton hopped out of the car then going to see what was the story as Haley sat there playing with the ring on her pinkie finger Nathan had given her, it's not like she could pinpoint anything. She thought they'd left things ok between them last night so if he had a problem with her she honestly was coming up empty with what that was. _

'_So what's the story?' Peyton came up to the boys slipping her hands into the back pocket of her jeans. _

'_AA is coming out to take a look at it so we've just to wait…' _

'_And will they fix it or do we need to arrange another way there?' _

'_I don't know why don't you ring them and ask them?' Nathan said. Its not like he had all the answers. _

'_Seriously Nate what the hell is your problem?' Peyton spewed then as Nathan rolled his eyes, always Peyton with the dramatics. 'you know this little trip was Haley's idea because she wanted to do something nice for you and we thought we'd get all the guys on board; it was supposed to be just the two of you unless you wanted it that way…' She said stubbornly. That caught his attention as he looked at her just daring her to continue that trail of thought._

'_How many times do I have to tell you that we're friends?' Nathan gritted out. 'Seriously Peyton its getting a little old…'_

'_I think you like her it's a harmless observation.' _

'_Its not a harmless observation….Haley is my best friend Peyton I'm not just gonna screw that up because it's our senior year and we should try it…..do you know how stupid that theory is? Besides I don't even think of Haley in that way…I'm not attracted to her I'm not…' _

_Peyton watched; eyebrows raise as rambled on in a complete tizzy over the whole thing before he stopped his rant on all the reasons he didn't like Haley only to find her standing with her arms crossed behind Peyton having heard every word. _

'_Hales….' Nathan began only she shook her head at him before stalking away. 'Dammit Haley!' Nathan dropped the spanner and went after her. _

'_You're terrible you know that?' Jake joked as he picked up the spanner Nathan had been holding and continued to inspect the boot. _

'_Got them talking didn't I?' Peyton said. _

'_Haley….wait will you stop walking away from me please? Its dark and we're not on a main road…'_

_Haley gave in hearing the concern in his voice which only seemed to irritate her further. 'Oh so now you want to talk to me?' She said turning around to him, her arms crossed over herself. _

_Nathan winced at the irritation simmering in her features but mostly the hurt. 'I'm sorry I'm an ass.' _

'_Yea you got that right you're a jackass actually.' Haley fumed at him. _

_It wasn't the right time to chuckle at her or remind her that she just swore at him, Haley never swore…she hated it. 'You're right…I shouldn't have said those things its just Peyton she wouldn't stop on about us and…'_

'_Yea I got the same story and you know what I said to her…I'm not interested, end of.' Haley said shaking her head at him. 'You didn't have to go give her a list of reasons why I'm not attractive Nathan…' _

_Nathan closed his eyes then regretfully as he walked closer to her. He hated himself right now for that, Haley was both a brazen spitfire of a girl and extremely self-conscious of her appearance. He wished she could see how she looked to others and he'd gone and stomped on that himself all to save face. _

'_Haley you know I didn't mean it.' Nathan said softly as he walked closer to her closing the distance between them. She huddled into him hating how her body seemed to seek his comfort so hastily despite him being the source of her pain a few moments before. _

_Haley pulled back eying her best friend curiously. 'What's really going on Nathan? And don't lie to me…you're snappy last night you say everything's fine…you're snappy today…' Haley said her eyes beseeching his. _

'_You're right…I'm sorry there's just being a lot going on, with state, finals and applying to college and on top of all that pretty soon we're going to be miles away…..' _

'_Isn't that supposed to be my role?' Haley said with a small smile then and Nathan paused mid rant giving her a look. 'You know I'm supposed to be the frazzled one that gets in a tizzy over all this and you're supposed to be the all cool, calm and collected and be like…don't worry Haley it's all gonna be just fine…' She teased mocking his deep voice. _

'_I don't sound like that!' Nathan scoffed_

'_Yea I think you do…' Haley said mocking his voice again watching him. 'See there's that Scott smile I love.' She teased as she went to pinch his cheeks. _

'_Hales…' Nathan said pulling her arm off him. 'Stop that we're not ten anymore you know.' _

_Haley just giggled. 'I'm always going to pinch your cheek mister.' _

_Nathan could feel her warming, comforting nature consume him and he smiled that boyish grin back at her. _

'_Hey…do you think maybe that because we've been best friends for so long we've liked absorbed each other's personalities…' Haley mused. _

'_Well that's a disturbing thought.' Nathan said rather bemused. _

'_It could happen like you'll go to college and be all panicked and over analyse every little thing and I'll be all cool and confident.' _

'_Haley you could never be cool.' _

'_Ahh…' Haley admonished him as she went to slap him but Nathan was too fast and turned her in his arms and began to tickle her sides leaving the pair of laughing wildly in the finish. _

'_Dammit you always do that!' Haley huffed out of breath as Nathan finally let her go. _

_Nathan shuffled on his feet a little then, for some reason he wanted to hug her so badly just for cheering him up but then his mum's words from last night were playing on his mind and he found himself all of a sudden placing these boundaries on their relationship that were never there before. _

_But invisible or not Haley was already obliterating those boundaries as she wrapped her arms around him then and huddled into his chest. _

'_What's this for?' He mumbled his arms wrapping around her soaking in the mirage of feelings she was evoking him in, maybe it was because of his mother's words, or maybe it was just because the two of them were on the cusp of change about to go out into the world apart when usually they'd faced it all together - maybe that was why all of a sudden his feelings were so immense around her. _

'_You just look like you need it.' She mumbled back._

_Nathan smiled at her words. 'I am sorry Haley for being a grouch.' _

'_Its ok just don't be like that again or this time I'm going to disown you and leave your ass in Tree Hill.' _

_Nathan chuckled. 'How can you go from being so sweet to so brassy in a couple of seconds?' _

'_I guess you have rubbed off on me..' _

'_I'm going to let that comment slide only because you've let me away with so much tonight..' Nathan mused smiling as he felt Haley chuckle against his sweatshirt and he hugged her tighter. _

'_Come on we better get back to them before they think we killed each other..' _

'_Or made out..' Haley joked. _

'_Hales…' Nathan moaned. _

'_What?' She teased. 'We hear it all the time..' _

'_Yea but its even worse coming from you…' _

'They put up such a fight senior year…' Peyton said as they recounted the story to Brooke.

Haley could only smile now thinking back, it felt like her and Nathan had grown so much since then both as individuals and in their relationship, not just romantically but friendship wise as well.

'It's not like we knew.' Nathan reasoned.

'Yea you were just a pair of fools…' Lucas teased.

'What's this dump on us night?' Haley teased back throwing a chip at him as the gang laughed.

'It's a good kind of weird though seeing you like this.' Peyton said then. 'I think that deserves a cheers.'

'I think you might want to wait with the cheers because things are about to get even weirder.' Haley said finding her courage as she felt Nathan grip her hand under the table. She glanced at him as he gave her a reassuring look.

'What do you mean?' Brooke said quirking her eyebrow at the pair whom all of a sudden seemed nervous.

'We're….' Nathan began only to be halted by Haley just blurting out completely opposite to how they had planned. Nathan couldn't help but smirk at her for doing so.

'I'm pregnant…' Haley just blurted out.

'What?' Peyton said completely astonished, she had not been expecting that.

'You're pregant? But...I'm pregnant…' Brooke squealed out eyes wide in shock.

'Wait…what?'

'Oh my god….' Brooke squealed, the sound screeching at their ears. 'We're both pregnant..'

'You're pregnant?' Haley said pointing at Brooke gasping with both shock and excitement. A few people began to glance at their table curiously when Brooke hopped out of her seat and ran over towards Haley.

Nathan and Lucas both looking on semi-shocked two before they glanced at each other with wide smiles.

'When did you find out?' Haley said then as Brooke sat back beside Lucas.

'Last month we wanted to wait to tell you two together.' Brooke said. 'But oh my god I never expected you two…'

'Well we're still in shock.' Haley said as Nathan took her hand squeezing it softly.

'How far along are you?'

'About 4 weeks.' Haley said.

'Wow.' Brooke said feeling her eyes tearing up. 'I'm 8 weeks.'

'This is pretty amazing, congrats guys…' Lucas said.

'I think we can cheers to that.' Peyton mused as the gang all lifted up their glasses and the two girls their waters.

'So I guess that explains you not taking the San Fran job..' Lucas said then.

Nathan nodded. 'We just need more time to plan the move so we will be here for a good part of the pregnancy.'

'Oh great we can suffer together.' Brooke joked feeling her eyes tear up none the less.

'Oh here she goes….' Lucas teased her. 'It's all ahead of you man.'

Nathan grimaced a little before he felt Haley smack him playfully on the arm for making that face. 'You're not the one who has to get fat.'

'Brooke reminds me of that every day.' Lucas said.

'Well wow I'm starting to feel left out maybe I should call Jake.' Peyton mused as they all laughed again.

'Where is Jake tonight?'

'He's working, he actually had to fly to San Fran for a pitch this weekend.'

Lucas just nodded then before facing Nathan. 'So I take it you two are on good terms again?'

'Yea.' Nathan said. 'We're not like women we don't hold onto things.'

'We do not hold onto things.' Haley refuted him.

'You do Hales you're still pissed at Quinn for hooking up with that Joe guy you weirded out in our junior year…'

'Hang on Haley had a thing for Joe?' Peyton scoffed as Lucas laughed.

'That is so not the point right now.' Hale defended herself. 'And you shouldn't have made the public knowledge.' She playfully shoved Nathan.

Nathan just chuckled at her before leaning in and whispering something in her ear that obviously made Haley blush as he left a kiss on her forehead.

Peyton watched them with a smile, for all her teasing and bantering with them it filled her with such joy to see two of her closest friends so blissfully happy and together after all this time.

**XXXXX **

'So I think that went well….' Haley said as she dropped the keys onto the side table by the door as Nathan closed it behind him.

She felt the goose bumps coating all over her as he slipped his arms around her whispering in her ear. 'Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?' He murmured in her ear pushing her locks to one side as he nibbled down her neck relishing in her whimpers.

'Hmmm…..it still kind of freaks me out when you say things like that..' Haley teased him as she moved her head further to the side giving him more access. He chuckled against her neck the vibration only causing her need for him to escalate even more.

'Does it freak you out when I do this?' He goaded her as his hand slipped underneath her black mini skirt until he reached her delicious dampness both simultaneously groaning the moment his finger grazed her there.

'Nathan….' Haley moaned out pushing herself against his finger frustrated when he began to trace idle circles against her thighs again.

'I didn't think so..' Nathan teased hotly, one hand coming down to rest on her waist as the other teased her skin dangerously close to where she needed him to be.

'Nathan…' Haley whimpered again a she felt his lips attack her neck nipping and biting.

'What do you want Hales?'

She groaned realising exactly what he was doing. It was so typical of Nathan to tease her like this, she wanted to berate him for it but the anticipation running through her veins had her body burning up, her head incredibly cloudy. She moaned hotly as she felt his hard cock press into her back, what the hell was he waiting for?

He smiled against her neck hearing her erotic whimpering cries and moans as he pressed himself even further into her. They were both as stubborn as each other, had been their whole lives; Nathan was getting a whole lot of enjoyment out of riling her up in this way and playing the stubborn cards against her now.

'Nathan…' She moaned again.

Fuck if she said his name like that just one more time this whole thing would be over before it began, he felt his cock get painfully even harder.

'Come on Hales tell me what you want…..you can do that can't you?' He whispered hotly against her ear as one solitary finger grazed against her panties, fuck she was soaked through. Nathan couldn't hold back the groan.

'Nathan seriously now is not the time to prove whose the most stubborn….' Haley barely gritted out whimpering as he pulled his hand away again.

'That's not what I wanted to hear.'

'Seriously this isn't like our water gun fights….'

He chuckled at that, the husky sound so tantalisingly delicious. It made her want him even more. 'Well I'm not sure Hales you're pretty damn wet right now.'

'Oh my god you did not just say that!' Haley gauffed. 'Nathan please tell me you haven't used line like that before.'

His hand was still running circles on her leg as he chuckled against her neck and Haley giggled with him.

The desire burning through her laced with that warm familiarity of their friendship and how the two now were so intrinsically linked she wondered how they were such separate entities for so long. How easy it was for them to seamlessly switch from full on sexual lust to playfulness with each other.

'It's about to get worse Hales…' Nathan chuckled as he finally turned her boxing her against the wall. She could see the darkened lust in his eyes and the mirage of childlike amour for her that he'd always held. It warmed her heart how that seemed so much more prominent now.

'I haven't had to use that line before because no one's ever being so we…'

'Don't even finish that sentence.' She said biting her lip playfully at him as her hand not so accidentally grazed against his cock which was now straining against his trouser pants.

'Looking a little tight there….' Haley teased him as her hand barely grazed him again before lifting it up.

Her hand had barely left him before Nathan grabbed it and placed it back over his swelled cock. 'You feel what you do to me?' He said as he lifted his hand boxing her in against the wall again groaning as Haley began to rub her hand up and down his length. Fuck this was only outside of his trousers and he felt just about ready to explode.

How was it possible to be so completely consumed with desire from one person's touch?'

'I want you…' Haley whimpered, literally throbbing for him.

All playfulness between them seemed to fall away, even her admittance didn't matter now as Nathan began to pull Haley towards the bedroom.

'No…here.' She barely got out as she pulled them back against the wall and began placing hot, wet kisses along his neck unbuttoning his shirt as she went down.

Holy fuck he hadn't been expecting that, she wanted him to take her against the wall. Jesus. Nathan didn't waste a second more as his hand slipped underneath her skirt again pulling her wet panties down as he roughly grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up groaning loudly as he felt her dampness soak through his trousers. Haley was leaving a trail of hot kisses down his chest as her hands unbuttoned him finally releasing his cock, her juices already coating him he'd never felt something so erotic in his entire life.

'Hales you're killing me.' Nathan groaned. She sent that innocent yet alluring smile as she kissed back up his muscular chest before joining their mouths just as Nathan thrusted inside of her simultaneously swallowing their deep guttural moans.

'God that feels so good…' Haley cried out throwing her head back as Nathan pounded relentlessly hitting her so deeply as she backed into the wall, he was been so rough with her and it was quickly sending her to the brink of that blissful edge. Nathan groaned as he felt Haley's wall clench around his cock as he shifted his stance thrusting his length in at an even deeper angle.

'Nathan…' Haley barely got out between breaths, a silver of sweat coating her skin now. Nathan couldn't resist bringing his mouth to the top of her breasts tasting the saltiness and sweetness of her skin, all Haley.

'God I'm so close….I'm gonna….' Haley cried out, her walls clenching him tightly and letting go as the rush of desire consumed her entire being leaving her shuddering against him sighing blissfully as she felt Nathan's warm load fill her entirely, her name falling in a series of erotic whispers from his lips.

Nathan leant his head against Haley's shoulder, drops of sweat dripping from his fringe onto her slick body, their breathing ragged. Seconds later she felt him pull back a little as Haley dropped her legs down bracing herself against the wall not trusting her legs to even stand after that encounter. Her heart only began racing even wilder as Nathan pulled away from her and bent down leaving a series of gentle kisses across her tummy, the action bringing tears to her eyes.

Her best friend, her Nathan kissing her tummy where their child lay.

'You were quiet dirty tonight.' Nathan teased Haley as her naked form snuggled into his side.

'I was not….' Haley tried to defend herself feeling rather bashful.

After their hot encounter in the hallway they somehow found themselves tangled up in each other in the bedroom again where Haley had supposedly ordered Nathan to lay down as she guided herself down on him. Their lovemaking had being slow, hot and heavy, both of them brought each other to release in the most tortuously teasingly way possible. It had been amazing. Every time they came together just brought them even closer if that was even possible. Haley smiled from where she snuggled into his arms.

'What are you thinking about Hales?' Nathan questioned softly as his hand continued to rub up and down her arm softly.

'Our kid. I think it's going to be a boy.' She said softly.

'Oh yeah…' Nathan said quirking an eyebrow.

'What do you think?' She said as she began to draw circles on his chest.

'I think we're going to have a little girl just like you.' He said softly smiling as Haley glanced up at him with that heart-warming smile of hers.

'Its pretty amazing you and Lucas are going to become father's at the same time.'

'Yea.' Nathan smiled before he began chuckling then.

'What?' Haley said wondering what he was laughing about now.

'I was just thinking about what Peyton said earlier about the dolls, didn't Lucas like chuck his one in the garden?'

Haley giggled against Nathan's chest then as she remembered back. 'You laugh now but you weren't much better mister…' She teased him.

'I kept the baby alive didn't I?'

'Just about.' Haley joked.

'_Pizza's here..' Lucas said as he came back into his house where the gang where all in the living room sitting around chilling out after the basketball game. _

'_Thank god I could inhale this.' Peyton mused. _

'_You weren't even playing girl.' Skills joked. _

'_Cheering is hard work to you know.' Haley defended the girls. _

'_Please you just have to stand there looking pretty.' Skills goaded. _

'_Because you said I look pretty I'll let that one go.' Haley mused as she grabbed a slice of pizza. _

_Seconds later the unmerciful screeching cries of the baby could be heard. _

'_Whose is it?' _

'_Well all the other kids are sleeping in here so who left there's out there..' _

'_I did, I left it beside my gym bag.' Nathan said as he went to take another slice of pizza like it wasn't a big deal. _

'_Nathan…' Haley admonished him then. 'You can't just do that, go and bring her in.' _

_Nathan just shook his head at Haley, she was taking this biology project way too seriously. 'Hales I've just sat down I had a long game.' _

'_Go and get her Nathan she won't stop crying…' _

'_Why should I get her? You get her?' _

_Meanwhile the rest of the ganging were glancing between each other trying not to laugh at the scene before them. Nathan and Haley were like a married couple at the best of times but this whole baby situation really brought it out in them. _

'_Friends my ass.' Lucas muttered under her breath as the others snickered. _

'_Shut up Lucas. I don't see you too worried about your kid thrown out in the garden…' _

'_Lucas….' Haley gasped. _

'_Damn dawg that is cold.' Skills teased. _

'_You said you wouldn't tell anyone.' Lucas admonished Nathan who just laughed. 'Your kid is still crying by the way.' _

'_Least I still have one.' Nathan shot back. _

'_Ok Nathan please just get her…' Haley pouted. _

_Nathan threw his slice of pizza back down before standing. 'This sucks I didn't even have good sex to compensate dealing with it…'_

_That got a good few more snickers from everyone. _

'_You're disgusting.' Haley said frowning at his foul words. 'Besides I don't think you'd particularly want to have it with me now would you..' Haley refuted grossed out at the thought and she blushed, despite herself. _

. _'Trust me any sex would do.' Nathan grumbled just as Haley stood up then playfully knocking him across the head. _

'_Oww what was that for?' Nathan glared at her. _

'_For being a disrespectful twat that's what…' Haley said. _

_The others couldn't help but laugh at the banter between the pair. _

_Nathan walked out into the pantry then with Haley following close behind. 'I don't know why you sent me out here when you were just going to come anyway.' Nathan mumbled. _

'_Oh quit being such a grouch.' Haley teased as she picked up the crying baby doll. 'Ah what's wrong baby girl…' She cooed being extra over the top knowing it would get a rise out of Nathan. _

_He was rolling his eyes but then he couldn't help but smile at her. 'You look like a fool you know that…' _

'_Yea…' Haley said rather bemused. 'But you're my best friend so whose the bigger fool?' _

_Nathan just chuckled. _

'_You want to go to dada…' Haley teased as she handed the baby doll that was still screeching over to Nathan. _

_The doll quietened down in his arms. 'That's not fair she likes you better.' Haley pouted. _

_Nathan chuckled and Haley felt her heart swelling at the sight, yeesh call it teenage hormones or what but baby doll or not it was such a lovely sight seeing him standing there with a kid. 'You'll make a great father someday you know that.' _

'_Haley don't freak me out and make me drop the baby…' _

_Haley just laughed. 'What is it with teenage guys and kids?' _

'_Oh I dunno you have a father like Dan there's always the chance of history repeating itself.' _

'_Except you're nothing like him.' Haley countered. Nathan just smiled at her. 'As lovely as this little girl is I'm ready to give her back…' _

_Haley giggled at that nodding her head in agreement. 'Don't forget that you'll owe me when you go up a grade in biology.' _

'_Whatever Hales I could have done this solo.' _

_Haley hit him playfully. _

'_Hey watch our kid…' _

'_Oh so its our kid now?' _

_Nathan smirked and then his face kind of frowned. 'Well it is but that's also kind of disturbing cause you know we'd have to….' _

'_Ok…..spare me the details.' Haley butted in and Nathan chuckled at how embarrassed she seemed. _

'_Its just sex Hales I don't know why you can't say the word…' _

'_I can say the word just not with my best friend that's just weird…' _

_Nathan continued to chuckle down at her. _

'_Why do you always do that?' Haley said. _

'_What?' Nathan teased her. _

'_Embarrass me….' _

'_Because I enjoy your reaction to much. Its cute.' Nathan said easily then as he finally left the doll down again. _

'_Ok now this conversation is just broaching on weird…' Haley said making a face, they were definitely moving away from the safe zone of friendship territory. 'Lets get back out there.' _

_Nathan just smiled. _

'_Eh Nathan….you can't just leave her on the countertop.' Haley told him. _

'_Here we go again.' He mumbled as he grabbed the doll bringing it out with him_

'God this time we won't be able to just hand the baby back..' Nathan joked as Haley giggled against his chest.

'You know when I said you'd be a good father I never thought it would be to my child…' She mumbled softly.

She felt Nathan squeeze her tightly then before his spoke, his words were weighted. 'Mum would have been so happy.'

Haley swallowed hard, her heart fluttering at how in tune they were with each other. She had been thinking about Karen too. Actually she had been thinking about her a lot. 'You know I have been thinking about her a lot lately since I found out…'

'oh yea…' Nathan said as he continued to rub his hand down her arm.

'Hmm…' Haley sighed. 'I was just thinking about what an amazing mother she was to you and to me…'

'Yea she couldn't get rid of you I think she started to like you then…'

'Funny….' Haley said poking him in the side. 'If I could be even half the mother she was..

'You will be Hales.' Nathan said earnestly then as his other hand reached down for hers bringing it to his lips with a soft kiss. 'I know it because you are the most kind, compassionate and selfless person I know, you'll be amazing..'

'Stop you're going to make me cry….' Haley said shakily as she already felt the tears burning the back of her eyes.

'Oh here we go…Lucas warned me.' Nathan teased her.

Haley just have him a look for saying that before she leaned up on her elbows capturing his lips in a gentle kiss, snaking her tongue into his hot awaiting mouth and tasting him, the pair moaning again at the succulent feel of each other.

'And what was that for…?' Nathan said with that teasing glint in his eyes as she pulled away. 'Not that I'm complaining.'

'Just….I love you Nathan and I know you'll probably hold what I'm about to say against me for the rest of time..' She said amused as his face lit up with curiosity. 'But I don't know how we waited so long….maybe waited isn't the right word but I don't know how we resisted it, this..us…' She said as she took his hand then feeling the familiar spark evade every part of her. 'You feel that?' She whispered softly.

He nodded his head, his heart beating wildly at her words. God he loved her. He had always loved her but now it felt like he was falling for that spitfire of a blonde girl all over again in a completely different way. Two young kids destined to be together from that very first moment they met in the playground at the tender age of 8.

'I love you Haley, I always have.' Nathan said as he leaned forward again capturing her lips again before he pulled away smiling softly as his hand went down to stroke her belly enjoying the way her body shuddered from such a simple touch.

'Even when I shouted at you for hitting me across the head with a basketball…' She teased biting his lower lip.

'Nah more so when you kicked me on the shin..' He teased back and she lay down cuddling in closer to him, her heart fluttering as the memory of their first meeting filled her with nostalgic adoration for that boy and the man he had become.

'But if our kid's best friend is the opposite sex I'm totally not allowing it.' Nathan joked and Haley giggled against his chest.

'Oh yeah because a boy and a girl that are best friends can never just be that right?' She teased making light of the comments she and Nathan had received throughout their lives growing up.

'Definitely not..' Nathan finally admitted as he rolled over his body covering Haley's like a pillow their lips connecting as their bodies and hearts had finally became one.

_The End. _


End file.
